Hello everybody,
So over the course of a year an a half I have made threads about my life issues and it all stems around my parents separation. My dad growing up was a shit dad, i'm the second child and my brother was favored to the point I would get yelled at and have things thrown out because I didn't obey. I grew up hating my dad, he threw a bike at me and the verbal abuse eventually made realize I don't hate him but feel sorry for him. That anger is towards something deeper and I never knew why. Fast forward a year an a half ago my dad had been having affair with a married women who also has a family for at first was assumed to be a few weeks turned out he was lying and almost half a year. When this occurred he refused to leave the house saying it's his house and I can't talk back to him. I left the house and live with my grandparents with my mom now. She's gone through so much heart ache almost 30 years of marriage down the drain. What hurts the most is how he treats her, like a pile of shit. He won't respond to her messages and instead messages my brother and drag out this process for this long.
He's lied to her about how much he makes and has been seeing the same girl from previous but lies to me and my brother. My brother and dad works for police and my brother sometimes picks up shifts at his department and tells my brother about his young lady and how happy my dad is and is going to fancy dinners with her with bills over 300 dollars. How do I know this because my mom and dad still have a joint account and he makes larger purchases in that account. In the past 3 months he's spent over 3000 on new furniture and appliances but doesn't want to pay my mom nor give her any of her stuff. He is keeping the bed room set, dining room, kitchen, downstairs and all the outdoor equipment and my mom is only getting a handful amount of things. What hurts is how he knows i'm living with my mom so he's making things hard for me as well. My dad makes 3 times the amount my mom does but she had to buy a bed for my grandparents my dad pay 30 bucks and my mom paid the rest, he also takes my old mattress from my house and take it to work but suggested before i come back and live with him. He also doesn't tell me if I get mail at the house and I have to do most of the texting to see how he does but he'll guilt trip by sending messages saying miss you son and you don't ever come to see me. He's told my brother that i'm ignoring him and he doesn't love me, when I confront him about this he denies it saying, "oh no son I would never say that." I ask if he's seeing someone lies and tell me the same thing.
How can I have a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care about me and seems more interested in his new love then his own children. My brother got married and had a small wedding where cousins were not invited my dad's side of the family said he's a disgrace to our last name and my dad said he would never forgive his sister for this action yet I see them going on trips and family days with them. Yet he has never asked me to do stuff expect come to the house which has my stuff that I bought there. I asked him to see a movie and i had to pay for the tickets which cost me $40 and he never payed me back or suggest paying while he makes close to 4000 every paycheck. If he cared he would try and make sure i'm okay mentality and financially but he doesn't. At my brother's rehearsal dinner he called me out saying you never come to visit and how do you think I feel and i told him dad it's not easy i'm busy and i'm not in good space and my brother had to step in. It was embarrassing all her family saw this and I broke down afterwards. At his wedding he gave me the silent treatment and barely talked to me for the first half of the day.
Tomorrow me and my mom are collecting the stuff from the house, i'm so nervous and scared to talk to him about my feelings and he's told my mom he expects us only to be an hour since he has work and doesn't want us there when he's not there. I'm going to pack my stuff and both me and my brother are going to tell him our feelings. I've tried telling my feelings before and he's gotten up and walked away or told me to grow up before. I don't know how this will play out but I hope it goes better then I hope.
I just wanted to say thanks to this forum, I've dealt with depression for most of this year and had suicidal thoughts and still do at times but I know I won't act, having a therapist has helped but honestly having this forum to relate and get my mind off of it has been a blessing.Sorry if this is long and the grammar is awful but I just wanted to vent about this terrible situation.
So over the course of a year an a half I have made threads about my life issues and it all stems around my parents separation. My dad growing up was a shit dad, i'm the second child and my brother was favored to the point I would get yelled at and have things thrown out because I didn't obey. I grew up hating my dad, he threw a bike at me and the verbal abuse eventually made realize I don't hate him but feel sorry for him. That anger is towards something deeper and I never knew why. Fast forward a year an a half ago my dad had been having affair with a married women who also has a family for at first was assumed to be a few weeks turned out he was lying and almost half a year. When this occurred he refused to leave the house saying it's his house and I can't talk back to him. I left the house and live with my grandparents with my mom now. She's gone through so much heart ache almost 30 years of marriage down the drain. What hurts the most is how he treats her, like a pile of shit. He won't respond to her messages and instead messages my brother and drag out this process for this long.
He's lied to her about how much he makes and has been seeing the same girl from previous but lies to me and my brother. My brother and dad works for police and my brother sometimes picks up shifts at his department and tells my brother about his young lady and how happy my dad is and is going to fancy dinners with her with bills over 300 dollars. How do I know this because my mom and dad still have a joint account and he makes larger purchases in that account. In the past 3 months he's spent over 3000 on new furniture and appliances but doesn't want to pay my mom nor give her any of her stuff. He is keeping the bed room set, dining room, kitchen, downstairs and all the outdoor equipment and my mom is only getting a handful amount of things. What hurts is how he knows i'm living with my mom so he's making things hard for me as well. My dad makes 3 times the amount my mom does but she had to buy a bed for my grandparents my dad pay 30 bucks and my mom paid the rest, he also takes my old mattress from my house and take it to work but suggested before i come back and live with him. He also doesn't tell me if I get mail at the house and I have to do most of the texting to see how he does but he'll guilt trip by sending messages saying miss you son and you don't ever come to see me. He's told my brother that i'm ignoring him and he doesn't love me, when I confront him about this he denies it saying, "oh no son I would never say that." I ask if he's seeing someone lies and tell me the same thing.
How can I have a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care about me and seems more interested in his new love then his own children. My brother got married and had a small wedding where cousins were not invited my dad's side of the family said he's a disgrace to our last name and my dad said he would never forgive his sister for this action yet I see them going on trips and family days with them. Yet he has never asked me to do stuff expect come to the house which has my stuff that I bought there. I asked him to see a movie and i had to pay for the tickets which cost me $40 and he never payed me back or suggest paying while he makes close to 4000 every paycheck. If he cared he would try and make sure i'm okay mentality and financially but he doesn't. At my brother's rehearsal dinner he called me out saying you never come to visit and how do you think I feel and i told him dad it's not easy i'm busy and i'm not in good space and my brother had to step in. It was embarrassing all her family saw this and I broke down afterwards. At his wedding he gave me the silent treatment and barely talked to me for the first half of the day.
Tomorrow me and my mom are collecting the stuff from the house, i'm so nervous and scared to talk to him about my feelings and he's told my mom he expects us only to be an hour since he has work and doesn't want us there when he's not there. I'm going to pack my stuff and both me and my brother are going to tell him our feelings. I've tried telling my feelings before and he's gotten up and walked away or told me to grow up before. I don't know how this will play out but I hope it goes better then I hope.
I just wanted to say thanks to this forum, I've dealt with depression for most of this year and had suicidal thoughts and still do at times but I know I won't act, having a therapist has helped but honestly having this forum to relate and get my mind off of it has been a blessing.Sorry if this is long and the grammar is awful but I just wanted to vent about this terrible situation.