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TransEra |ERA1| We're People, Okay?

srhltmr

User Requested Ban
Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,294
Texas
Thank you.

I must admit, as liberating as it was to finally admit this to myself, it's opened up a whole new set of concerns, both big and small. Don't worry, though. I'm managing. Just need to take things in steps, right?

The first one shall find a professional I can talk to and see where it goes from there.
Yep. This takes time so prepare yourself for that. Years of time.
 
Oct 28, 2017
50
Thank you.

I must admit, as liberating as it was to finally admit this to myself, it's opened up a whole new set of concerns, both big and small. Don't worry, though. I'm managing. Just need to take things in steps, right?

The first one shall find a professional I can talk to and see where it goes from there.

Depending on your country the steps can be a little different and accessing hormones can be a bit of a chore. My advice is to look for local trans or LGBT groups and connect there. Not only will you be able to share your struggles within those groups but chances are they can connect you to the appropriate resources in your area.

The group part can be more difficult if you live ruraly like myself, so it may require driving to a larger city. Most cities have a PFLAG or an independent trans group.

I am more knowledgeable about the Canadian system and if that fits you and you have questions please ask away.

Welcome to the thread
 
Mar 17, 2018
203
Scotland
Depending on your country the steps can be a little different and accessing hormones can be a bit of a chore. My advice is to look for local trans or LGBT groups and connect there. Not only will you be able to share your struggles within those groups but chances are they can connect you to the appropriate resources in your area.

The group part can be more difficult if you live ruraly like myself, so it may require driving to a larger city. Most cities have a PFLAG or an independent trans group.

I am more knowledgeable about the Canadian system and if that fits you and you have questions please ask away.

Welcome to the thread
Got the one two punch of living in Scotland and in a rural area. Not sure what the requirements for hormones are here, but I know they’re pretty backwards on getting gender changes officially recognised. Like, need to prove to them you’ve been living as your gender for at least a year, or perhaps two. Stuff like that worries me. I’m not particularly girly. I’d rather wear bland, functional clothing, but it seems like these people are looking for a photo albums full of dresses, high heels and make up. But, that’s me getting ahead of myself again.

So, yeah. Been looking around and the closest group seems to be a monthly general LGBT meeting. Can’t hurt to check it out. And, as you said, there’s also the option of driving to the nearest cities. Not ideal, but it’s better than nothing.
I’m also curious about the discord group. That could be worthwhile until I find regular meetings nearby?

Also got an appointment next week with a mental health nurse who should hopefully point me towards specialists. Assuming I don’t chicken out when talking to her, that is.
Got to admit, the idea of coming out to someone, even a health care specialist, is scary enough. Doing so while still being all shaved head and with face stubble really makes me hesitate. Like, they’ll find it absurd because of how I currently look.

Ah well. Shall report back when things start moving!

Thank you for the warm welcome!
 
Oct 26, 2017
320
England
Got the one two punch of living in Scotland and in a rural area. Not sure what the requirements for hormones are here, but I know they’re pretty backwards on getting gender changes officially recognised. Like, need to prove to them you’ve been living as your gender for at least a year, or perhaps two. Stuff like that worries me. I’m not particularly girly. I’d rather wear bland, functional clothing, but it seems like these people are looking for a photo albums full of dresses, high heels and make up. But, that’s me getting ahead of myself again.

So, yeah. Been looking around and the closest group seems to be a monthly general LGBT meeting. Can’t hurt to check it out. And, as you said, there’s also the option of driving to the nearest cities. Not ideal, but it’s better than nothing.
I’m also curious about the discord group. That could be worthwhile until I find regular meetings nearby?

Also got an appointment next week with a mental health nurse who should hopefully point me towards specialists. Assuming I don’t chicken out when talking to her, that is.
Got to admit, the idea of coming out to someone, even a health care specialist, is scary enough. Doing so while still being all shaved head and with face stubble really makes me hesitate. Like, they’ll find it absurd because of how I currently look.

Ah well. Shall report back when things start moving!

Thank you for the warm welcome!
I'm also in the UK and the RLE thing hasn't been a requirement for a few years.

I think the only place in Britain where things are a bit harder is Wales; as far as I know England and Scotland work the same way!

All you need to do to get the NHS to look at you is go to your GP and ask them to refer you to a gender identity clinic. They're required to do that; if they refuse or are awkward about it, point them at the NHS procedures (I can try finding the documentation if you want) and report your GP if they still won't refer you. You don't need to involve mental health in the process at all (unless you're in Wales...)

You shouldn't need any RLE at all to get hormones. I don't know how it is in Scotland but a gender specialist will definitely be aware of this. It's their job to help you regardless of how you present.

You're protected by the 2010 Equality Act even if you don't have any official documentation, which covers things like discrimination and the ability to use gendered spaces. You don't need documentation to use a new name or gender, or to do most things based on those. You can easily officially change your name with a deed poll if you have two people to witness you signing it. Officially changing your gender on your birth certificate is a massive clusterfuck but that basically isn't required for anything other than marriage related stuff. You can change the gender on your passport with just a deed poll and a letter from a doctor.

Note that the NHS GICs are currently massively under-resourced so there will probably be a ridiculous waiting time between your referral and your first appointment. For me it's going to be at least another year or two but I really hope it's better in Scotland! If you're willing to throw cash at it, there are a couple of private clinics that can prescribe hormones for you (I would get the referral first so you can switch over to the NHS as soon as possible to get away from private clinic fees!) I think your options in Scotland are YourGP (based in Edinburgh IIRC?) and GenderGP (run entirely online) but you should do your own research as well :)

And yes, please do join the Discord channel! We're all friendly people!
 
Oct 25, 2017
362
Oh my gosh. I got a job as a teacher back in March and just found out the included insurance covers HRT. 100% covered. As in it's free for me. I'm crying. This is such a huge stress off my shoulders.
 

FoxofGrey

Banned
Member
Sep 9, 2018
5
While registering for this site, there are options for only cis male and cis female. Can the site admins add the option to choose transgender or non-binary?
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
While registering for this site, there are options for only cis male and cis female. Can the site admins add the option to choose transgender or non-binary?
They only mean cis if you want to think of it that way. Just the same, a non binary or "enter your choice" wouldn't be a bad idea at all I'd think.
 
Oct 28, 2017
274
I am all for extra options for non-binary people. So that would be nice.

Not sure about the trans option. Trans men and women already fit under the male/female umbrella. And once the option is there some might feel I would have to use it and just putting female would trick them or something.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
I am all for extra options for non-binary people. So that would be nice.

Not sure about the trans option. Trans men and women already fit under the male/female umbrella. And once the option is there some might feel I would have to use it and just putting female would trick them or something.
And this is a good point, yeah. If I want to declare a gender for sure here I don’t want feel obligated to preface female with trans.
 
Oct 25, 2017
63
England
So after repressing my feelings for basically half my life because I was scared shitless I couldn't do it any longer. I came out to my parents and brothers/sisters as mtf trans and they all took it well, though my parents were disappointed that I didn't come out a lot sooner. Maybe they are right, I've wasted so many years of my life being seriously unhappy with myself to the point of just wishing I could die.

Have an appointment with my GP tomorrow, now have a long road ahead.
 
Aug 28, 2018
831
Oh, wow, this exists now.

Still kind of in limbo, but short of a severely poor reaction to HRT I'm transfeminine, wanting to be what I'd feel to be a boyish girl. For now I'm waiting on a endo visit that would be in... January.
I hope someone can answer, asking wirh full respect and out of sincere curiosity: what is transfeminine, compared to a trans woman? I Googled it, but not sure I understand beyond the vague Wikipedia article. Again, would really like to learn, not trivializing the difference between the two or anything by any means, it’s just not clear to me. So, please educate me! Thank anyone for an explanation and full support for everyone here!
 
Oct 28, 2017
50
So after repressing my feelings for basically half my life because I was scared shitless I couldn't do it any longer. I came out to my parents and brothers/sisters as mtf trans and they all took it well, though my parents were disappointed that I didn't come out a lot sooner. Maybe they are right, I've wasted so many years of my life being seriously unhappy with myself to the point of just wishing I could die.

Have an appointment with my GP tomorrow, now have a long road ahead.
Congratulations Inapplicable you took some huge steps forward! Try not to carry the regret of missing time because it will keep you in a negative mindset. Acknowledging that your trans can be hard because the education and acceptance was difficult to find 10 years ago. Remember that you had the courage to move forward and that your family is accepting.

You've got this girl
 
Oct 28, 2017
50
I hope someone can answer, asking wirh full respect and out of sincere curiosity: what is transfeminine, compared to a trans woman? I Googled it, but not sure I understand beyond the vague Wikipedia article. Again, would really like to learn, not trivializing the difference between the two or anything by any means, it’s just not clear to me. So, please educate me! Thank anyone for an explanation and full support for everyone here!

Trans feminine is an umbrella term used to describe individuals assigned male at birth that more closely allign with the female spectrum. It has been used by non binary persons who appear/present more female. These two are trans masculine/feminine nonbinary. I hope that helps
 
Aug 28, 2018
831
Trans feminine is an umbrella term used to describe individuals assigned male at birth that more closely allign with the female spectrum. It has been used by non binary persons who appear/present more female. These two are trans masculine/feminine nonbinary. I hope that helps
So, a trans woman is a specific case of trans feminine? For example, someone could be identifying as a man but be more aligned with the female spectrum opposed to someone assigned a male gender at birth but now fully identifying as a woman? Or did I get that entirely wrong?

Thanks for your answer!

Edit: will watch the video tonigh, still didn't see it - if it answers my question, sorry for asking again!
 
Last edited:
Oct 28, 2017
50
So, a trans woman is a specific case of trans feminine? For example, someone could be identifying as a man but be more aligned with the female spectrum opposed to someone assigned a male gender at birth but now fully identifying as a woman? Or did I get that entirely wrong?

Thanks for your answer!

Edit: will watch the video tonigh, still didn't see it - if it answers my question, sorry for asking again!
I typically don't field these types of questions because of the differing opinions scattered over the internet, so if I missed something or I am completely off the mark, I am sure one of the other folks here can fill in the holes. My understanding is that there are 3 classifications under the umbrella. Trans woman, Trans man and Genderqueer aka Non binary. The first two are self explanatory and the third one is a used as a catch all for the rest of the trans spectrum. Some people see themselves as 2 or 3 gendered. Some are able move amongst the genders fluidly and others see themselves as having no gender at all.

Trans feminine is a term used by some non binary folks to say that they lean a bit more heavily on the feminine side of things. They might take HRT and dress very feminine but still not see themselves as a woman.
 
Aug 28, 2018
831
I typically don't field these types of questions because of the differing opinions scattered over the internet, so if I missed something or I am completely off the mark, I am sure one of the other folks here can fill in the holes. My understanding is that there are 3 classifications under the umbrella. Trans woman, Trans man and Genderqueer aka Non binary. The first two are self explanatory and the third one is a used as a catch all for the rest of the trans spectrum. Some people see themselves as 2 or 3 gendered. Some are able move amongst the genders fluidly and others see themselves as having no gender at all.

Trans feminine is a term used by some non binary folks to say that they lean a bit more heavily on the feminine side of things. They might take HRT and dress very feminine but still not see themselves as a woman.
Thank you for a very nice and clear reply!
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
Trans feminine is a term used by some non binary folks to say that they lean a bit more heavily on the feminine side of things. They might take HRT and dress very feminine but still not see themselves as a woman.
I also take it to mean it can be a mix of things. See more as more female than male but not identify solidly as female, or maybe just AMAB but doesn't really feel male ENOUGH to identify as male.... I kind of took it that if you were to treat it as a linear spectrum, you'd have been going to the female side from being assigned to the male side, or vice versa.''

Some of it is just me not being confident in fully committing despite taking the steps (and doing nothing on the clothing front), it's not uncommon for some to identify as gender fluid/gender queer first then identify fully trans woman/trans man later on.
 

srhltmr

User Requested Ban
Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,294
Texas
So today marks a year since I decided (realized?) that I was transgender and wanted to transition. Two weeks later I'd start HRT.

Best decision of my life.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,629
I typically don't field these types of questions because of the differing opinions scattered over the internet, so if I missed something or I am completely off the mark, I am sure one of the other folks here can fill in the holes. My understanding is that there are 3 classifications under the umbrella. Trans woman, Trans man and Genderqueer aka Non binary. The first two are self explanatory and the third one is a used as a catch all for the rest of the trans spectrum. Some people see themselves as 2 or 3 gendered. Some are able move amongst the genders fluidly and others see themselves as having no gender at all.

Trans feminine is a term used by some non binary folks to say that they lean a bit more heavily on the feminine side of things. They might take HRT and dress very feminine but still not see themselves as a woman.
Folks take HRT without identifying as a woman? I guess with informed consent it's possible. What about surgery?
 
Oct 28, 2017
50
Folks take HRT without identifying as a woman? I guess with informed consent it's possible. What about surgery?
If you watch the video I linked in my first response you will see a British non binary couple. Owl Fisher takes HRT and has spoken about having the surgery as well. They identify as non binary and that falls under the trans umbrella which would give them access to hormone therapy if they so choose. Owl speaks a little about this stuff in their Ted talk and has spoken publicly about surgery in other interviews.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
I feel kind of like I WANT to but I can't bring myself to. I've always been wishy washy though and part of it is things like not quite liking how my face looks (I feel I have a good face, but more masc than I'd like now) and definitely need to be rid of beard shadow.
 
I feel kind of like I WANT to but I can't bring myself to. I've always been wishy washy though and part of it is things like not quite liking how my face looks (I feel I have a good face, but more masc than I'd like now) and definitely need to be rid of beard shadow.
if you do makeup you can use color correctors and concealers to fix it

yay D65 :D
 

Deleted member 46641

User requested account closure
Member
Aug 12, 2018
3,494
I need to stop reading threads about trans people in era, people are such shitheads

That attitude I'm seeing where trans women should be kicked out of sport is why I gave up competition running.
 
I need to stop reading threads about trans people in era, people are such shitheads

That attitude I'm seeing where trans women should be kicked out of sport is why I gave up competition running.
Nothing like the subject of transwomen in sports to reveal the "allies" that don't actually see us as women.
And yeah, this shit is exactly why I gave up on the idea of competing in cycling.
 
Oct 28, 2017
50
.
Nothing like the subject of transwomen in sports to reveal the "allies" that don't actually see us as women.
And yeah, this shit is exactly why I gave up on the idea of competing in cycling.
There will always be bigoted individuals sadly and it is a lot easier to be dismissive on the internet. Try not let their vitriol poison how you think about yourself. All we can do is our best to educate and walk away. Just because you haven't change their mind today, doesn't mean someone else won't down the road.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
Ok, the Goblin Slayer thread (and watching the first episode out of morbid fascination of it spawning from a DQ meme thread of all fucking things) has me thinking about how I feel about that kind of content as a trans woman, and... yeah, it really does bother me. But I also feel like that sort of content weakens my feelings of validation, if that makes sense? Like “would I really want to be a woman” and stuff.

It’s... ugh, I need to chew on this, does this shit normally make women feel a bit worse about themselves?
 

WaffleTaco

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,594
Ok, the Goblin Slayer thread (and watching the first episode out of morbid fascination of it spawning from a DQ meme thread of all fucking things) has me thinking about how I feel about that kind of content as a trans woman, and... yeah, it really does bother me. But I also feel like that sort of content weakens my feelings of validation, if that makes sense? Like “would I really want to be a woman” and stuff.

It’s... ugh, I need to chew on this, does this shit normally make women feel a bit worse about themselves?
For context can you explain what’s up with Goblin Slayer? I haven’t heard of it since that thread and never looked into it. Spoiler it if you must.
 
Oct 28, 2017
274
Ok, the Goblin Slayer thread (and watching the first episode out of morbid fascination of it spawning from a DQ meme thread of all fucking things) has me thinking about how I feel about that kind of content as a trans woman, and... yeah, it really does bother me. But I also feel like that sort of content weakens my feelings of validation, if that makes sense? Like “would I really want to be a woman” and stuff.

It’s... ugh, I need to chew on this, does this shit normally make women feel a bit worse about themselves?
I would assume no one would want to be a woman being brutally violated and/or killed by a bunch of goblins.

But just because you don't want to be a woman in such terrible circumstances doesn't mean that you aren't one. That's at least how I'd see it.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,369
I would assume no one would want to be a woman being brutally violated and/or killed by a bunch of goblins.

But just because you don't want to be a woman in such terrible circumstances doesn't mean that you aren't one. That's at least how I'd see it.
This is all true. It’s just an unsettling feeling that’s bothered me for a long time and I see it pop up now and then (how Dark spawn reproduce in Dragon Age is similarly upsetting in that unique sense, though it’s... different.) I guess it’s women being targeted exclusively, namely for reproductive needs. Maybe it’s a form of empathy/projection that takes me off guard in a really bad way?

I was kind of fishing for feelings/opinions, but it sounds heavy enough for a therapist to really weigh in if I want to probe further.
 
Oct 28, 2017
274
This is all true. It’s just an unsettling feeling that’s bothered me for a long time and I see it pop up now and then (how Dark spawn reproduce in Dragon Age is similarly upsetting in that unique sense, though it’s... different.) I guess it’s women being targeted exclusively, namely for reproductive needs. Maybe it’s a form of empathy/projection that takes me off guard in a really bad way?

I was kind of fishing for feelings/opinions, but it sounds heavy enough for a therapist to really weigh in if I want to probe further.
Such things hit closer to home for me ever since I started to transition. Before that I could not identify with male characters and for female characters it was like "I want to be like that but can never be"

Now that I just live as a woman I see myself in the female cast of something easier so stuff like Goblin Slayer is a lot more uncomfortable right out of the gate.