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TransEra |ERA1| We're People, Okay?

Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
Even if the looks are not there yet people should still try their best but in those cases I can at least understand how slip ups happen.

But if someone also looks the part and everyone else had years to adjust it shouldn't even be hard.
I never am afraid to be misgendered or read when I'm out with friends or by myself. with a few members of my family it happens quite a lot. It creates uncomfortable moments not only for me, but them and if we are at a restaurant for the wait stuff as well.
So now I drill them, but more often don't go out with them.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
I never am afraid to be misgendered or read when I'm out with friends or by myself. with a few members of my family it happens quite a lot. It creates uncomfortable moments not only for me, but them and if we are at a restaurant for the wait stuff as well.
So now I drill them, but more often don't go out with them.
It's kind of a shame when it only starts to be difficult with family. And yeah it can get strange and uncomfortable. So if it doesn't work after a few tries I also avoid public situations like that.

It just depends on context. Like on a big family gathering my older aunt didn't recognise me at first and then after being told used the wrong pronouns and old name but she just didn't have time to adjust so I didn't grill her much over it. And I was in a positive spot because she probably thought I was someone's new girlfriend. Such things also affect how much things hurt me or not.
 
Oct 25, 2017
365
Trying to be patient with my mom, but... lots of stuff outside of me being trans happening in our family makes our relationship not the best.

Anyways, does anybody have a good list of anime either featuring or about trans people? I've seen Wandering Son, and I want to see more. Also accepting: general TV shows and video games, particularly RPGs. I need me some media validation.

In happier news, I went clothes shopping todoy, and got myself a bunch of femme clothes! Some jeggings, a couple of shirts, and a skirt! I felt super cute :3
 
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Oct 28, 2017
281
Trying to be patient with my mom, but... lots of stuff outside of me being trans happening in our family makes our relationship not the best.

Anyways, does anybody have a good list of anime either featuring or about trans people? I've seen Wandering Son, and I want to see more. Also accepting: general TV shows and video games, particularly RPGs. I need me some media validation.

In happier news, I went clothes shopping todoy, and got myself a bunch of femme clothes! Some jeggings, a couple of shirts, and a skirt! I felt super cute :3
Happy that you got yourself some nice clothes. :)

From the top of my head Sense8 was good about trans representation. And Dragon Age Inquisition kind of.
 
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Nora

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,208
Sense8 was pretty good in that sense 🤔. I haven't really seen it, but I heard good things about Transparent.
The star of Transparent, Jeffrey Tamboor, harrassed (trans) women on the set of the show. And he's also a cis man playing a trans character, so I think it's a failure by default
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
The star of Transparent, Jeffrey Tamboor, harrassed (trans) women on the set of the show. And he's also a cis man playing a trans character, so I think it's a failure by default
Ok, haven't really followed all of that.
But the cis men playing transwomen was one of the reasons why I did not watch the Danish Girl, or Girl.
Thank you for saving me the time. Now I don't have to watch it.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
This is frustrating. I just had to sign something under a male at name work. Seems like there is a list like that going around every other week.

And officially I am also required to use that wrong name on the phone or really any external contact. I am finally at the stage where I sent the name/gender change application for my ID to court but who can tell when that will be through.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
This is frustrating. I just had to sign something under a male at name work. Seems like there is a list like that going around every other week.

And officially I am also required to use that wrong name on the phone or really any external contact. I am finally at the stage where I sent the name/gender change application for my ID to court but who can tell when that will be through.
That sucks. I'm sorry. I was forced for way too long to present as male at work. I had a falling out with my. Work place. The probably will terminate my contract because of me being transgender, which is illegal. So all of this will probably end in court, or they will pay me some from of compensation.
Where are you from by the way?
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
That sucks. I'm sorry. I was forced for way too long to present as male at work. I had a falling out with my. Work place. The probably will terminate my contract because of me being transgender, which is illegal. So all of this will probably end in court, or they will pay me some from of compensation.
Where are you from by the way?
I'm from Germany (Bavaria) working at a bank. It seems legally being able to use my proper name without proper ID there is as hard as getting a bank account without the corresponding ID.

The people working there with me are great about it at least. So at least no one misgenders me in person. And my work is not very outward facing so not much external contact.

I am sorry to hear you had a falling out at work. Hopefully you can find a place that appreciates you for who you are.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
I'm from Germany (Bavaria) working at a bank. It seems legally being able to use my proper name without proper ID there is as hard as getting a bank account without the corresponding ID.

The people working there with me are great about it at least. So at least no one misgenders me in person. And my work is not very outward facing so not much external contact.

I am sorry to hear you had a falling out at work. Hopefully you can find a place that appreciates you for who you are.
Oh so we are from the same part of Germany. I'm from Munich 😊
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
Why are all the german trans people I find online always from Bavaria?
Apperently are a ton of them cologne, which is pretty close to me, but I haven't found a single one online so far.
Although, I'm planning to have my surgery in Munich, but that's still pretty far into the future.

Anyway, looks like I'm actually bi or pen, since I know all starting to attracted to dudes, which is very confussing to me.
Never cared about men before and I don't even know what a cute guy even looks like to me yet.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,370
Why are all the german trans people I find online always from Bavaria?
Apperently are a ton of them cologne, which is pretty close to me, but I haven't found a single one online so far.
Although, I'm planning to have my surgery in Munich, but that's still pretty far into the future.

Anyway, looks like I'm actually bi or pen, since I know all starting to attracted to dudes, which is very confussing to me.
Never cared about men before and I don't even know what a cute guy even looks like to me yet.
I think any guy that can look cute to me is also going to be on the prettier side or have some slightly feminine traits, like good skin and softer features. Feels kind of like they’d be exceptions that go along with an overall inclination towards women.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
Why are all the german trans people I find online always from Bavaria?
Apperently are a ton of them cologne, which is pretty close to me, but I haven't found a single one online so far.
Although, I'm planning to have my surgery in Munich, but that's still pretty far into the future.

Anyway, looks like I'm actually bi or pen, since I know all starting to attracted to dudes, which is very confussing to me.
Never cared about men before and I don't even know what a cute guy even looks like to me yet.
I can imagine that to be confusing.

I have always been attracted to potentially anyone but since I started hormone treatment preferences have been shifting a little for me as well.

On the plus side this means you have like a whole new world to explore.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
Why are all the german trans people I find online always from Bavaria?
Apperently are a ton of them cologne, which is pretty close to me, but I haven't found a single one online so far.
Although, I'm planning to have my surgery in Munich, but that's still pretty far into the future.

Anyway, looks like I'm actually bi or pen, since I know all starting to attracted to dudes, which is very confussing to me.
Never cared about men before and I don't even know what a cute guy even looks like to me yet.
I always used to be attracted to girls, but not anymore. I'm only attracted to guys. When I realized that I found hat really confusing.

At end of the month I have my consultation for my surgery 😊
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
I think any guy that can look cute to me is also going to be on the prettier side or have some slightly feminine traits, like good skin and softer features. Feels kind of like they’d be exceptions that go along with an overall inclination towards women.
That's kind of where I was before. I figured if a guy looks almost nothing like a guy, I guess I wouldbe fine with that.
Apperently it goes much further than that so. Looks like I beards now or something.
I can imagine that to be confusing.

I have always been attracted to potentially anyone but since I started hormone treatment preferences have been shifting a little for me as well.

On the plus side this means you have like a whole new world to explore.
It is very confusing, I'm not even sure what i am looking for in a men yet.
I suppose more options aren't bad, but I also can't rule out that I'm actually straight.
I always used to be attracted to girls, but not anymore. I'm only attracted to guys. When I realized that I found hat really confusing.

At end of the month I have my consultation for my surgery 😊
That might happen to me as well. The more I think about the more the appealing it sounds, but I only time will tell I suppose.

I hope I can get mine in 2021. I would love 2020, but I don't think I'm going to make it. If it's the former, I will probably need orchi to bridge the gap, since my dysphoria in that area has gotten a lot worse lately.
Who is supposed to be your surgeon?
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
That's kind of where I was before. I figured if a guy looks almost nothing like a guy, I guess I wouldbe fine with that.
Apperently it goes much further than that so. Looks like I beards now or something.

It is very confusing, I'm not even sure what i am looking for in a men yet.
I suppose more options aren't bad, but I also can't rule out that I'm actually straight.

That might happen to me as well. The more I think about the more the appealing it sounds, but I only time will tell I suppose.

I hope I can get mine in 2021. I would love 2020, but I don't think I'm going to make it. If it's the former, I will probably need orchi to bridge the gap, since my dysphoria in that area has gotten a lot worse lately.
Who is supposed to be your surgeon?
I'm going with Dr. Schaff
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
That's kind of where I was before. I figured if a guy looks almost nothing like a guy, I guess I wouldbe fine with that.
Apperently it goes much further than that so. Looks like I beards now or something.

It is very confusing, I'm not even sure what i am looking for in a men yet.
I suppose more options aren't bad, but I also can't rule out that I'm actually straight.

That might happen to me as well. The more I think about the more the appealing it sounds, but I only time will tell I suppose.

I hope I can get mine in 2021. I would love 2020, but I don't think I'm going to make it. If it's the former, I will probably need orchi to bridge the gap, since my dysphoria in that area has gotten a lot worse lately.
Who is supposed to be your surgeon?
The shifting attractions are actually a concern with me and my gf. Right now I am into her and she is into me and all is good.

But we can't rule out that either of us might lose that the further I go with my medical transition. We are taking it a step at a time.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
I'm going with Dr. Schaff
That's my plan as well, but I don't meet the requirements until september, so I'm playing the long game.
I also should get another insurance, because I have apperently the worst one.
The shifting attractions are actually a concern with me and my gf. Right now I am into her and she is into me and all is good.

But we can't rule out that either of us might lose that the further I go with my medical transition. We are taking it a step at a time.
I have a gf and I'm worried about that as well. She already is just making an excepting for me and insists that she is still straight (which is already worrying me).
Pretty sure this isn't going to work if we are both straight.
Now however is hardly a good time to bring that up, since she is already in a pretty bad spot and I don't want to add relashionship problems to the pile.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
I have a gf and I'm worried about that as well. She already is just making an excepting for me and insists that she is still straight (which is already worrying me).
That's pretty much exactly my situation. Normally I'd say she is calling me a man by still claiming to be straight.

But she does such a wonderful job to make me feel accepted that I believe her when she says I am just the one woman she makes an exception for. And that it only happened because she fell in love while I was pretending to be a guy.

But it's not easy. We'll just have to see where it leads us.
 
Oct 25, 2017
365
And my mom is back to refusing to use my correct pronouns. On the bright side, one of my old high school friends offered me a room at his place, so I'm moving out on the 19th! Never have to deal with my abusive dad or "peace keeper"/enabler mom ever again.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
And my mom is back to refusing to use my correct pronouns. On the bright side, one of my old high school friends offered me a room at his place, so I'm moving out on the 19th! Never have to deal with my abusive dad or "peace keeper"/enabler mom ever again.
Sounds like the best course of action. Sucks that we have to do stuff like this, but we don't really have a choice.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
Sounds like the best course of action. Sucks that we have to do stuff like this, but we don't really have a choice.
I had negotiations with my now former employer because the didn't really want me there any longer. Deal is OK but I'd rather have a job.
And no working there was really any option after all that has happened
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
My wife had to cut her mom out of her life because of transphobia towards me and I also had to cut my mom out because of fake support for me.
Pretty sure Ilmy brother and father will stop talking to me indefinitely once I go Full time and I might have to cut ties to my grandmother.
She is very stubborn and impossible to argue with.
I had negotiations with my now former employer because the didn't really want me there any longer. Deal is OK but I'd rather have a job.
And no working there was really any option after all that has happened
That reminds that the place where I'm supposed to make my retraining kept misgendering me and even made a big deal about why they had to do it.
Of course they also claimed to be supportive, told me how brave I am and all that nonsense.

I don't think I can go back there. I'm not sure if I would survive until it's all official changed.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
I got the date for my first court hearing for name/gender change on my ID. It will be in around 2 weeks and I am pretty thrilled about finally getting that started.

Hopefully all goes well. It should go through without problems I think.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
First? I only had one and was done.
Considering I didn't go to any court appointment specialists yet I am not sure if there will be more. Maybe it's just that, specialists and then they make a decision.

I have to go to Nürnberg for it and they handle it slightly different than Munich as far as I am aware.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
Considering I didn't go to any court appointment specialists yet I am not sure if there will be more. Maybe it's just that, specialists and then they make a decision.

I have to go to Nürnberg for it and they handle it slightly different than Munich as far as I am aware.
Germany is so archaic.. And absolutely not unified when it comes to Transrights. It's a shame.
There definitely needs to be a change.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
Germany is so archaic.. And absolutely not unified when it comes to Transrights. It's a shame.
There definitely needs to be a change.
Very true. It's a lot harder than it should be to get your papers changed.
It should be a swift administrative act.
The current system is just wasted time and money for everyone involved.

The only good thing about it is that I will walk out with proper documents at the end.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
I will start working on getting name and gender official changed soon.
At least I'm getting so little money I most likely don't have to pay for it myself, but that means even more paperwork.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,751
Anyone in here have any experience with those Tria home laser hair removal thingies? Me and my fiancee were looking into it for her. I've heard good things, but I figured I'd ask people here before we drop a couple hundred bucks on one.
 
Oct 25, 2017
365
And I'm free! Moved to my new place yesterday, now living with friends who actually are trying and I appreciate them so much. Goodbye terrible parents!
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,630
Anyone in here have any experience with those Tria home laser hair removal thingies? Me and my fiancee were looking into it for her. I've heard good things, but I figured I'd ask people here before we drop a couple hundred bucks on one.
I need to use mine more often.
Keep in mind most aren't designed to remove facial hair or at least not if you are AMAB.
Should work great for other body parts, though.
And I'm free! Moved to my new place yesterday, now living with friends who actually are trying and I appreciate them so much. Goodbye terrible parents!
Awesome, I moved recently as well.
Living with my mother while working for my unsupportive father was never going to work in the long run.
 
Oct 27, 2017
100
Germany
Had a great therapy session today and the thought of going for SRS truly fills me with a warm and tingly feeling.
Knowing in the not too distance future I will take this step made me smile all day 😊
 
Oct 25, 2017
365
I'm surprised I've seen nobody here talk about the H.Bomberguy stream this past weekend! He raised $340k for Mermaids, a UK based charity that provides support to trans youth! It was amazing, I think I'm getting a good feeling about 2019 for us.
 
Oct 28, 2017
281
I'm surprised I've seen nobody here talk about the H.Bomberguy stream this past weekend! He raised $340k for Mermaids, a UK based charity that provides support to trans youth! It was amazing, I think I'm getting a good feeling about 2019 for us.
It was incredible to see all the support that stream got.

It's so important to help and support young trans people since preventing the wrong puberty improves quality of life considerably.