I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you go about losing the weight? I've quite a lot of weight to lose myself and I'm struggling, especially with not eating sugary crap. Luckily I don't drink sugary stuff.
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TransEra |ERA1| We're People, Okay?
- Thread starter SweetNicole
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I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you go about losing the weight? I've quite a lot of weight to lose myself and I'm struggling, especially with not eating sugary crap. Luckily I don't drink sugary stuff.
I personally preferred physical stores so I could try many and see how they look.
Although the first time when I was still male presenting I brought someone as support.
I used My Fitness Pal to track my food intact. It's free and it's super helpful. I had it set to whatever goal(usually to lose a pound a week) and stick to it no matter what. No cheat days, no compromises, nothing. I always made my calorie goal and always walk 10k steps a day. It took about a year. I still use it, but set to a lesser goal to more maintain than lose.
I just did the dumb thing and ordered one online for like 100 euros. It turned out fine. I only used it veeeeery early on, but it made passing pretty easy for me. Now I'm actually considering getting a pixie cut again because my long hair is a nightmare due to how thick and frizzy it is. I'm gay anyway it's fine I can have short hair and I don't think I need it to pass anymore.
Hmmmmmmmmm, did a quick search and found a place in Seattle that explicitly advertises that they're transgender friendly and offer a free consultation.
Won't be able to do anything until next year at the earliest regardless, but that's definitely something to keep in my back pocket.
Won't be able to do anything until next year at the earliest regardless, but that's definitely something to keep in my back pocket.
So I was prescribed premarin because Japan sucks. I didn't really register what it was until I paid $40 for it, but decided not to take it because that shit seems foul. So I'm now self-medicating Cypro and Estrofem! day 3 yall
Wtf...
You got prescribed Premarin? Is that the norm in Japan for MTF gender care?
Seems to be! Japan is super behind on medicine, believe it or not
not to mention LGBT
Yeah it's fucked. I even went to a private clinic with a guy who mostly seems to know what he's talking about, but it's either premarin or another pill that is super super low in estrogen content. thankfully, he said I can self medicate and still go there for blood tests, so it works out! I was terrified to DIY without having someone check on me
First day of HRT. Excited and scared about the future. Yesterday was a bad day full of self doubt, topped off with the topic of transgender coming up at work (never a good thing).
I thiiiiiiiink my work is pretty okay about gender issues. We have at least two people who are openly trans/NB/otherwise non-gender conforming that I know of there.
But at the same time, who knows how many techbro channers we have in the mix too : /
You're on your way to outnumbering them though!
I work at a small company with conservative owners. I'll probably be mostly okay, but it will be awkward. Especially since the other guy in my department likes to make the ever so hilarious "I identify as a..." joke. When they started talking about about transgender students yesterday, I knew that "joke" was coming, among others things, so I made a quick exit. It still put me in a bad headspace for the rest of the day.
If I'm lucky, might start HRT next month. The private doctor I saw on Friday was happy to diagnose gender dysphoria and recommend me. Just need to inform my GP and get bloods sorted - I did have a blood test when I was referred on the NHS which I hope covers everything, but if not it's a minor inconvenience.
Been a drained mess of emotions this weekend between grieving over the UK elections and being happy that things are finally moving forward with this.
Been a drained mess of emotions this weekend between grieving over the UK elections and being happy that things are finally moving forward with this.
Hey, TransERA. I had already asked this question to my trans friends, but I figured some more input wouldn't hurt:
What is the best thing for cis people to do when engaging a TERF? Call them out? Cut them out of your life?
I ask because I gradually realized an acquaintance of mine was either a TERF or sympathetic to TERFs, and long story short, unfollowed them on social media and cut off communication with them, and they realized it was because of my opinion on TERFs and were upset (and slandered me as a "loser with no friends" lol). My worry is, in doing this, am I pushing them further to be radicalized by other TERFs? Is it my responsibility to try to persuade them away from it? It's something I've been a bit conflicted on.
Appreciate any responses, and speak as honestly as you wish.
What is the best thing for cis people to do when engaging a TERF? Call them out? Cut them out of your life?
I ask because I gradually realized an acquaintance of mine was either a TERF or sympathetic to TERFs, and long story short, unfollowed them on social media and cut off communication with them, and they realized it was because of my opinion on TERFs and were upset (and slandered me as a "loser with no friends" lol). My worry is, in doing this, am I pushing them further to be radicalized by other TERFs? Is it my responsibility to try to persuade them away from it? It's something I've been a bit conflicted on.
Appreciate any responses, and speak as honestly as you wish.
Hard to say without knowing either of you, but generally I guess it depends on whether or not you think they're susceptible to reason. Are they genuinely misguided/misinformed, or hateful, you know? Trans people are just trying to live their lives and most TERF talking points are complete horse shit, the same kind of moral panic stuff that gay people had to deal with. Or maybe show them examples of TERF-ism actually hurting cis women (TERFs are deeply misogynist, they really only seek to enforce patriarchal values of femininity).
Whatever the case, you're almost certainly not going to convince them over the internet. And if you do try to engage them, it's a lot of work. It takes orders of magnitude more effort to dispel nonsense than to say nonsense. And if you half-ass it, odds are you might only push them further the other way. It takes a lot of energy and I don't blame anyone for just cutting these kinds of people out entirely because at the end of the day you could be completely wasting your time.
You're entitled to cut people out of your life if you find their views unacceptable. It's up to you if you want to try and engage them, but you may end up spending a lot of time and effort for no gain. Given what's already happened and their response, it sounds like you're already on the back foot.
Whatever happens, their views are on them. I wouldn't feel guilty about it - it's not your duty to save them from their own ignorance.
Whatever happens, their views are on them. I wouldn't feel guilty about it - it's not your duty to save them from their own ignorance.
I was shaving my body hair today and realised I randomly have hair on my back now? Like at 26 just before I start hormones I get fucking back hair. Jesus christ. I went from being in a great mood to suicidal. I am already broke and have agoraphobia so I'm struggling to figure out how to get hair removal. Now I have back hair too. Plus I have no idea how to do this vocal feminisation. I've been watching youtube tutorials and it's so confusing.
That's common, though! I've had back and shoulder hair for a good four years or so now (I'm 26 too)
hoping it thins out tbh, shaving my shoulders blows
It's weird though. I went from no back hair to like 60 year old man level back hair :( it makes me sad.
You'll get there, just keep practicing. I found the "Deep stealth" series better (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27Yb04MBaOE), aside from the awful name that is. I know there is an audio only version floating around somewhere too.
i made a voice tutorial a bit ago based on voice lessons ive had. idk how useful it is but i figured id share it
https://medium.com/@GraphicViolets/my-feminine-voice-tutorial-c3faf6f59c6a?source=friends_link&sk=199d2452f5bb8da49de24e9cdfad51bf
https://medium.com/@GraphicViolets/my-feminine-voice-tutorial-c3faf6f59c6a?source=friends_link&sk=199d2452f5bb8da49de24e9cdfad51bf
I used to live in the UK (for 29 years from birth) and I am a trans woman.
I can speak to you more if you'd like, but essentially what I recommend is the following:
1) Be prepared to wait. Get down to your GP and ask, nay demand (you are entitled to it), to a Gender Identity Clinic of your choice. This will get you on the waiting list for NHS care, but you will be waiting for a few years for it. Do not get referred to the Laurels in Exeter, even if you live nearby. You will wait forever for that clinic. I can't sugar coat that, so in the meantime...
2) Can you afford private help? If so, you can seek that. GenderCare or Gender GP (if they still exist) are your main options. GenderCare is on balance, probably better for GP acceptance. I have went through both and self medicated for reference.
When you see your GP for stage 1, ask if they will accept the shared care agreement between them and the private clinic. This means that the private clinic will provide a regimen for the GP to prescribe on the NHS while you wait to actually see the NHS. It will lower your costs quite a bit. You can Google Gender Care for contact details to get a copy of the shared care agreement to show your GP. Nail them down in agreement quickly so you can start getting down the private route. With GenderCare it could take four to ten months to start receiving hormones and cost maybe £600 to get started IF your GP is supportive.
3) If you cannot withstand the waits or the costs for either of these options, importing oestrogen and testosterone blockers into the UK for personal use is legal. This will provide you with a last resort backup that is both less time consuming and costly than the above, but it is stressful hoping your meds arrive and obviously it is less safe (though if you are healthy then it is not critically dangerous).
NHS guidelines are that GPs should give you a bridging prescription to tide you over til your GIC appointment if you are in danger due to low mood or self medicating due to the absurd wait times, buuuuuuuut these are not enforceable guidelines so most GPs will do their best to avoid helping in this way because they are cowards (used to assistant manage a GP practice, so I know this). It couldn't hurt to ask though, and you may have a nice GP.
I am typing on a phone, which is like walking through treacle, but if you want to discuss more you know where I am. And if any doctors give you shit or put up roadblocks, let me know because there may be obligations that we can cite back to them to put a fire under their ass.
Transitioning as a trans person is the greatest, and no election (no matter how sickening the result) should take that away from you. I know it's scary and I know it will be tough. I know the UK is a bit shit and a bit TERFy. But if you need this, it will be the right thing for you.
Best of luck.
I can speak to you more if you'd like, but essentially what I recommend is the following:
1) Be prepared to wait. Get down to your GP and ask, nay demand (you are entitled to it), to a Gender Identity Clinic of your choice. This will get you on the waiting list for NHS care, but you will be waiting for a few years for it. Do not get referred to the Laurels in Exeter, even if you live nearby. You will wait forever for that clinic. I can't sugar coat that, so in the meantime...
2) Can you afford private help? If so, you can seek that. GenderCare or Gender GP (if they still exist) are your main options. GenderCare is on balance, probably better for GP acceptance. I have went through both and self medicated for reference.
When you see your GP for stage 1, ask if they will accept the shared care agreement between them and the private clinic. This means that the private clinic will provide a regimen for the GP to prescribe on the NHS while you wait to actually see the NHS. It will lower your costs quite a bit. You can Google Gender Care for contact details to get a copy of the shared care agreement to show your GP. Nail them down in agreement quickly so you can start getting down the private route. With GenderCare it could take four to ten months to start receiving hormones and cost maybe £600 to get started IF your GP is supportive.
3) If you cannot withstand the waits or the costs for either of these options, importing oestrogen and testosterone blockers into the UK for personal use is legal. This will provide you with a last resort backup that is both less time consuming and costly than the above, but it is stressful hoping your meds arrive and obviously it is less safe (though if you are healthy then it is not critically dangerous).
NHS guidelines are that GPs should give you a bridging prescription to tide you over til your GIC appointment if you are in danger due to low mood or self medicating due to the absurd wait times, buuuuuuuut these are not enforceable guidelines so most GPs will do their best to avoid helping in this way because they are cowards (used to assistant manage a GP practice, so I know this). It couldn't hurt to ask though, and you may have a nice GP.
I am typing on a phone, which is like walking through treacle, but if you want to discuss more you know where I am. And if any doctors give you shit or put up roadblocks, let me know because there may be obligations that we can cite back to them to put a fire under their ass.
Transitioning as a trans person is the greatest, and no election (no matter how sickening the result) should take that away from you. I know it's scary and I know it will be tough. I know the UK is a bit shit and a bit TERFy. But if you need this, it will be the right thing for you.
Best of luck.
Fwiw I've just seen Dr Lorimer at Gendercare and it was overall a good experience but it did take some time to get the appointment. I also don't think he's taking on new patients right now due to being swamped so you may need to try the others. It took me around 7 months to get an appointment with him too.
That said I only needed the one appointment and he's happy to get the ball rolling on HRT - just trying to sort out logistical stuff like blood tests and the like (which I'm sorting through my GP) and waiting on his offical report which I should get in the next few weeks.
Also while the election result isn't great for anyone who isn't a rich white cishet dude, it's worth mentioning that trans people just won a major victory in court regarding workplace discrimination/bullying and terfs like JK Rowling are super mad right now lol
That said I only needed the one appointment and he's happy to get the ball rolling on HRT - just trying to sort out logistical stuff like blood tests and the like (which I'm sorting through my GP) and waiting on his offical report which I should get in the next few weeks.
Also while the election result isn't great for anyone who isn't a rich white cishet dude, it's worth mentioning that trans people just won a major victory in court regarding workplace discrimination/bullying and terfs like JK Rowling are super mad right now lol
I'm sorry if this is insensitive of me (a white cishet male), but I'd like to hear from some people of the trans community about what they think of The Danish Girl, the movie.
I think a quick google search would have helped you easily with that :)
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Yeah, my bad.
I see that the trans community seems to hold the same opinions about the movie as I do.
Hi! Thanks for the welcome, usually I don't ramble as much as in my first post!
Indeed, she's a fantastic person.
I just wish that the outlook for our future wasn't as bleak as it is currently. :( I'm meeting my therapist this Thursday so I hope to discuss all this with her. Wish me luck.
Hi all
I realize the site and the threads here are a drop in a bucket compared to what you may go through on a daily basis, but I'm interested in knowing if you feel the staff have kept to their promise on doing better? Has the experience here improved? Would love to see the community thrive, but I can't help but feel change is either slow or at times even nonexistent.
I realize the site and the threads here are a drop in a bucket compared to what you may go through on a daily basis, but I'm interested in knowing if you feel the staff have kept to their promise on doing better? Has the experience here improved? Would love to see the community thrive, but I can't help but feel change is either slow or at times even nonexistent.
Hi everyone,
I've just returned from a one month ban for defending Hillary Clinton's interview with Howard Stern in which she (and Stern) deadnamed Kaitlynn Jenner. In defending her I may have inadvertently deadnamed Jenner myself. (Feel free to check my post history if you're so inclined)
First of all, I apologize for any hurt I may have caused. I try to be as inclusive a person as possible. I do realize I have a lot to learn. Hence this post.
Obviously, I understand that while Clinton and Stern talked about Jenner in positive terms as a brave and smart person, as a lauded athlete and as a one-time attractive man (which, yeah, I can definitely see how that's problematic), this doesn't mean their words cannot be wrong or ill chosen or even transphobic. Good intentions count for something, but don't excuse everything. Same goes for context.
What I'm wondering is: is it ever excusable to talk about Jenner as 'Bruce'? For example, as they did here: when referring to them in the past tense and talking about the time they were a famous athlete? Or is this always considered deadnaming?
Thanks in advance for any response!
I've just returned from a one month ban for defending Hillary Clinton's interview with Howard Stern in which she (and Stern) deadnamed Kaitlynn Jenner. In defending her I may have inadvertently deadnamed Jenner myself. (Feel free to check my post history if you're so inclined)
First of all, I apologize for any hurt I may have caused. I try to be as inclusive a person as possible. I do realize I have a lot to learn. Hence this post.
Obviously, I understand that while Clinton and Stern talked about Jenner in positive terms as a brave and smart person, as a lauded athlete and as a one-time attractive man (which, yeah, I can definitely see how that's problematic), this doesn't mean their words cannot be wrong or ill chosen or even transphobic. Good intentions count for something, but don't excuse everything. Same goes for context.
What I'm wondering is: is it ever excusable to talk about Jenner as 'Bruce'? For example, as they did here: when referring to them in the past tense and talking about the time they were a famous athlete? Or is this always considered deadnaming?
Thanks in advance for any response!
Exceptions to deadnaming are mainly individual not contextual. There are trans people who don't care about their former name or still use it for the past. But that's their personal decision. There is no general situation where deadnaming is okay. Always use the right name. (There are some referencing problems, but that's not a problem for just talking among people.)
I would always use their current name, unless you've been specifically asked to by them. It is more common to prefer to never be deadnamed and if they're an individual who doesn't mind then they're unlikely to be bothered if you use their current name, whereas the opposite can be painful.
For me I wouldn't want someone to deadname me even if talking about the past because it brings up my insecurities about how people I've known for a long time view me. Dealing with that is hard enough without such a harsh reminder. Even if they mean no harm it still stings.
It's such a bummer when you're in a good mood, not thinking about it, and you see it and it brings you down. It sucks getting junk mail with it or the other day I had to make an entirely new Etsy account because you can't change your username(I even contacted them to explain the situation).
For me I wouldn't want someone to deadname me even if talking about the past because it brings up my insecurities about how people I've known for a long time view me. Dealing with that is hard enough without such a harsh reminder. Even if they mean no harm it still stings.
It's such a bummer when you're in a good mood, not thinking about it, and you see it and it brings you down. It sucks getting junk mail with it or the other day I had to make an entirely new Etsy account because you can't change your username(I even contacted them to explain the situation).
Never deadname. You can just say "before she transitioned", it's not that hard to 'get around' it.
Did any MtFs have to deal with finding it hard to consider yourself female?
I want to be able to pass as female. Until I'm able to however, I find it difficult to identify myself as female.
When I look in the mirror I can often see myself as female in some form, but even thinking of myself as a woman just makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide forever.
I want to be able to pass as female. Until I'm able to however, I find it difficult to identify myself as female.
When I look in the mirror I can often see myself as female in some form, but even thinking of myself as a woman just makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide forever.
Yes, probably 99.9% of us. It will come more easily with time. It's hard to rewire your brain.
Yup, absolutely. Still struggle with impostor syndrome a year in, likely will forever.
Thanks much. Unfortunate that you still deal with it. It's a bit comforting to know others deal with this at least.
I'm only 7 months in, so I'm past the honeymoon phase, and realising it's soon going to be impossible to hide the fact I'm trans. Very stressful time, but at least it's better than the dissociation, dysphoria, and forcing myself to live as a guy.
I read some scary things about my FFS surgeon and now I'm having second thoughts even though most of it sounds like bullshit and everyone I've talked too who went there had a great experience. This sucks.
I've never truly been able to in the 2+ years I've been medically transitioning and I doubt I ever will.
I went from identifying as a trans woman to non-binary and now to just a cis guy on hrt who wishes he was a woman. My validity is tied entirely to passing and since I'll never pass it's difficult for me to really think of myself as anything other than a man with gender dysphoria.
I've never truly been able to in the 2+ years I've been medically transitioning and I doubt I ever will.
I went from identifying as a trans woman to non-binary and now to just a cis guy on hrt who wishes he was a woman. My validity is tied entirely to passing and since I'll never pass it's difficult for me to really think of myself as anything other than a man with gender dysphoria.
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It's only natural to be cautious when it comes to surgery. Any kind of surgery is hard on the body.
What kind of things have you heard about them? Why trust the negative sources over the positive ones? Who are the positive sources?
I'd ask myself questions like this if I were in your situation. You need to consider which source of information is more reliable to base your decision on.
How do you deal with having breasts if you're still boy moding though?
I feel similarly to you. I want to identify as female, but I can't do that unless I believe I pass, which is very likely never going to happen for me.
I hope you're comfortable straddling androgyny at least. I certainly feel being boymode MtF is way better than things were pre-transition, even with all the stress it brings.
It was a post on reddit:
Tbh a lot of it sounds like BS. Especially the part about not being able to use their voice, as the frontal sinus has no impact on head resonance whatsoever.
Also trying to claim he's supposedly a dentist and not an actual surgeon is also really sketchy as he's been doing FFS for over a decade, if he was seriously incompetent or routinely butchering people there would probably be more talk about it.
I've talked too several former patients as well as read many online testimonials and the overwhelming majority were very positive. Of course there were a few who were unhappy or had complications, but nothing as serious as this.
Regarding the latter, I've barely had any breast growth two years in so it hasn't really been much of an issue. Like I wouldn't be able to go swimming in public but with a shirt on it's not even noticeable. Honestly I'd be happy if I at least looked androgynous, but I just look like an ordinary cis dude with long hair. The average clean shaven guy under 30 looks more feminine than I do. :(
I'd look into it some more. You can never be too safe when it comes to surgery, especially on your face!
What dose of estrogen are you on? A lot of MtF girls get put on low doses of estrogen with ridiculous schedules, like 2mg once in the morning or something. I highly suggest you take a look at this video, and perhaps even refer it to the doctor administrating your HRT.
Consider this, US Doctors still think it's okay to give you a diuretic to "block" testosterone. You pee out testosterone (and other nutrients) and make it so you easily get potassium poisoning. Meanwhile there are various pills which chemically castrate you (blocks your testosterone). The average doctor isn't an expert on transitioning, in fact the average doctor probably never had a transgender patient in their entire career. So it's really up to us to understand what's going on in the entire process.
I tried contacting the person who made the post via PM but they never responded back.
My levels are good. I take 10mg injectable E every week and 25 mg Cypro daily. My T has been below 50 ng/dL and E has been above 300 pg/mL since January 2018. I'm just not very responsive to HRT unfortunately. I also had a terrible starting point which never helps either.
The hormones have definitely had an effect on sexual function (I don't get erections or produce semen anymore) so it's not like they haven't been working, they've just done very little to change my physical appearance. I actually feel I look more masculine now than I did do-everything, although that could just be due to general aging that's probably being accelerated by my depression.