- Oct 25, 2017
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The Political Parties (in order of seats held):
Conservative Party (317 of 650 seats – 42.3% of Voter Share) Leader: Theresa May (Prime Minister)
Labour Party (262 of 650 seats – 40.0% of Voter Share) Leader: Jeremy Corbyn
Scottish National Party (SNP) (35 of 650 seats – 3.0% of Voter Share) Leader: Nicola Sturgeon
Liberal Democrats (12 of 650 seats – 7.4% of Voter Share) Leader: Vince Cable
Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) (10 of 650 seats – 0.9% of Voter Share) Leader: Arlene Foster
Sinn Féin (7 of 650 seats – 0.7% of Voter Share) Leader: Michelle O'Neill
Plaid Cymru (4 of 650 seats – 0.5% of Voter Share) Leader: Leanne Wood
Green Party of England and Wales (1 of 650 seats – 1.6% of Voter Share) Co-Leaders: Caroline Lucas & Jonathan Bartley
UK Independence Party (UKIP) (0 of 650 seats – 1.8% of Voter Share) Leader: Henry Bolton
Social Democratic & Labour Party (SDLP) (0 of 650 seats – 0.3% of Voter Share) Leader: Colum Eastwood
Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) (0 of 650 seats – 0.3% of Voter Share) Leader: Robin Swann
Welcome to story time.
Once upon a time there was a somewhat convenient marriage between two men called David and Nick. Democracy had thrown these two gentlemen together to lead the people at the turn of the decade. It was an arrangement that saw Nick's people see a strong influence of power for the first time in ages, and David's people ensure they were not in opposition after thirteen years of Red Rule. It wasn't a perfect arrangement, but by gosh darn, it sure meant that people actually had to talk to each other to get things done. While the happy couple had smiles on their faces while going for romantic walks in the gardens of Downing Street, all wasn't perfect. There were a number of people that followed Dave that were not so happy with the arrangement. Both those who worked with him, and those who wanted to vote for him.
When the marriage reached it's end, David made a promise to those he wanted to appease. He would allow the people a chance to cut off the bonds between the Unicorn Islands and the Mainland. "Freedom!" they cried. "We see Control! We want it". David won a surprise amount of support (a majority, it could be said) and decided to hold the aforementioned ballot. People decided to cut the bonds of brotherhood by a very narrow margin. Now ol' Dave was secretly a bit of a Main-lander. He wanted to remain connected via the glorious bifrost. He couldn't contend with the fact that he had led the people to this decision, and decided to fall on his sword. During this time, the former Red Rulers had seen quite a change. Behold, the Mythical Grandpa had arrived, swooping in on a cloud of youthful popularity to take control of the Party of Workers, much to the chagrin of those closest representatives. An internal war started, and Mythical Grandpa started seeing his popularity wane in the eyes of those he so dearly wanted to represent.
However, the stormy clouds worsened. And out of the ashes of 'Dave's sacrifice came the appearance of his successor, Sith Lord Theresa May. She had risen from David's side, and had seen the temptation of power in front of her. Unable to resist, she moved - seeing all potential rivals bow down before her. Force choking her emancipated would-be rivals, she grabbed power much to the delight of those "followers" of David who had wanted the shattering of the rainbow road. The Blue Empire supporters took delight in the rising. Those who had followed this collective in the past, who had been tempted to support the Purple Wolfpack, an anti Mainland cult, had come home. "We're leaving" she said. "WILL OF THE PEOPLE, LULZ". The Sith were a nasty bunch. They were not afraid of killing kids with electric swords, so they had no hesitation to see the division in the Party of Workers landscape and decided to try and cut the head off their biggest opponents. "We shall hold an election. Now. I want you to follow me to the gates of Freedom. Lets shatter the bifrost together, as one!". Her followers roared with approval, and and a date for choice was set.
Sith Lord May had many powers. However her public standing and that of the Mythical Grandpa leading up the date of choice, could contrast no more. Her powers started waning. She had become weary of the sunlight, not being seen in public and not in front of the various methods of transmitting pictures into the homes of those who be asked to make that all important decision. She started shrivelling up. However, Mythical Grandpa gained strength. Hulking up with energy not seen. A quiet speech turned into loudness. A shout turned into a roar, and suddenly the Mythical Grandpa was suddenly 200 feet tall in the eyes of the public. People started watching and listening to the message. Crowds gathered and fed the old man energy. His rise was impressive, and the fall of Lord May just as much.
One the day of choice, the Blue Empire's clutch on power slipped. The Party of Workers gained support. The result was an imbalance, a state of flux seen seven years before. Another agreement was to be made. However, the storm clouds gathered once again. It wouldn't be another arrangement of communication and common ground shown by the marriage of David and Nick. Oh no, a new player was about to make her entrance. Tempted by a billion pots of gold handed by a desperate Sith Lord, the new partner, R-Lean, made her appearance and gladly propped up the stumbling Blue Empire. "A Strong and Stable Government" Theresa promised. No, everyone could see.... She had unleashed an evil Coalition of Chaos.
So what will happen next? Will we see a ying-yang of evil witch mayhem? What will Mythical Grandpa do next? Will David continue to rear livestock in his retirement? Will things look pretty good?
Who knows! Lets talk.