As someone whose first language isn't English and isn't a boy, this seems...a bit...much.
How I'd approach it:
-Is it a word which is gender specific? In this case, arguable.
-What's the intent and usage of the word? The more generalized "guys" has been brought up, but "guys" and "boys" do not share the same connotations. "Boys" can refer, and often does, to a closer knit group of friends - ie, "hanging out with the boys" or "you're my boy". While "guys" can be replaced in those examples, if someone was to tell me that they had the exact same connotation in every situation, I'd say that, well, no, they don't. "Y'all" isn't even close to the same thing. It is on a general level, but as an actual replacement for the word? Does every application of the word "boys" have the same as "y'all"? Very much no. There doesn't seem to be a good proxy in English for the colloquial application of "boys", and it genuinely odd for me to see people claim "guys" or "y'all" fit in the same. What's more, I've been referred to as one of the "boys", and if anything, as a female trying to be accepted in gaming, it helped eliminate the sense of othering, that I was just like everyone else. Not to a huge degree, like it wasn't something that I consciously picked up on, but it's a marginal thing.
-Who is being affected in the negative if things don't change, and how much are they being affected? As mentioned, I'm not, but I can't speak for all people who are. So for some, like OP, it clearly is very affecting, as they're totally right in feeling. That said, I would have to think that the amount of people who feel hugely impacted by it are...small. The genericizing of the term and the lack of an equal proxy makes it separate from misgendering, in my mind, and considering this thread is the only one I've ever seen of anyone being opposed to the term with respect to gender, makes me think that it is a very specific - valid, but specific - point of contention among the larger populace.
-Who is affected by it in the negative if things do change, and how much are they being affected? I'd argue many, many, many, many, many more people. I would, for instance. In a very small way, yes, but I would, just as a point of fact, and I don't even say it that often really at all. I am part of "everyone", after all. It's a widely used term, ironically or not, and one which is in the process of being genericized, as these 20 or so pages show. Where on that process is up for debate, but it is. No, it's probably not a huge deal for someone to switch things around, but it is - and forgive the terminology - a policing of language. It is, quite literally, telling everyone else out there not to say a word in situations they otherwise would, a word which is often used to no ill intent at all. It's a large group of people who are changing how they communicate, broadly, to people who might not even be in their group for the game or match or what have you.
To put it obnoxiously logically, I balance out:
([number of people who would take offense level X at the term]*[intensity of offense level X]+[number of people who would take offense level Y at the term]*[intensity of offense level Y] etc etc)*odds of running into such individuals) vs ([number of people who take offense level A at being asked to stop*[intensity of offense level A])
And then try to go with the smaller side (also yes I know the math is open for some tweaking)
So although I assume that the people who take offense at the term are far more impacted than any one individual changing their language choices, I would also think that a)people who change their languages choices is a group several orders of magnitude larger (being, as the OP says, "everyone") and b)the odds of running into a person who takes offense to the term in the first place is quite small.
So all that in mind, if someone were to ask me to not call refer to a group containing themselves as "boys" or they themselves "boy", sure; I'm not out to specifically harm someone. I know that some people are more affected by these things than I am, and I know that for some communities, this kind of acceptance is key - nor will I deny anyone their valid sense of offense. In that case, it would be one person (me) with one other person (them), so the size discrepancy balances out, and the odds of meeting them is 100%.
But for me to advocate everyone to change how they speak, even a little bit...to avoid hypothetical offensive of what I would imagine if a fairly narrow slice of all the gamers out there? People that they might not even be speaking to? For a word whose gender application isn't even clear in the first place? No.
To say that *everyone* needs to stop, well...
That's an effort I simply can't get behind.
