When I was younger, I wasn't attracted to black girls at all. Now, I find them extremely sexy/desirable.
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video: do you have a racial preference?
- Thread starter Taki
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I hope this thread goes well. I don't have a preference race wise, but I'd be lying if I told you Eurocentric/while standards of beauty haven't affected what I find attractive in women on a subconscious level.
This sounds like fetishizing and it's a problem and it's why we need to be more honest about what our racial preferences say about our conditioning.
I don't know where facial symmetry comes up out of this, that is not a race.
It's one thing to have a preference.
It's another thing entirely to exclude the possibility of dating someone of a certain ethnicity or race or stereotyping all people of a certain race or ethnicity as options you can't see yourself entertaining.
People seem to purposefully blur the line between the two all the time in an attempt to handwave away their racism. If you're making comments like "I could never see myself dating *insert certain race or ethnicity here*" or "I generally don't find people of *insert certain race or ethnicity here* attractive", then yes, your "preferences" are racist.
I tend to gravitate towards Latina, Asian and mixed race African women but it's on more of a subconscious level.
Societal norms have stigmatized pale skin, blond hair, blue eyes as the most attractive and more pigmentation as undesirable though that has slowly been changing at a glacial pace. Unfortunately as RedMercury pointed out, people self segregate and retreat to their own bubbles and reinforce their stereotypical ignorance with like minded individuals that comprise their social circles.
It's another thing entirely to exclude the possibility of dating someone of a certain ethnicity or race or stereotyping all people of a certain race or ethnicity as options you can't see yourself entertaining.
People seem to purposefully blur the line between the two all the time in an attempt to handwave away their racism. If you're making comments like "I could never see myself dating *insert certain race or ethnicity here*" or "I generally don't find people of *insert certain race or ethnicity here* attractive", then yes, your "preferences" are racist.
I tend to gravitate towards Latina, Asian and mixed race African women but it's on more of a subconscious level.
Societal norms have stigmatized pale skin, blond hair, blue eyes as the most attractive and more pigmentation as undesirable though that has slowly been changing at a glacial pace. Unfortunately as RedMercury pointed out, people self segregate and retreat to their own bubbles and reinforce their stereotypical ignorance with like minded individuals that comprise their social circles.
While I do have a preference for petite white females, I'm by no means not attracted to women of color who fit the face/body types I generally like. I've always had a thing for Rosario Dawson and Gabrielle Union.
I'm sure I've been conditioned subconsciously to have a preference. I think anyone who believes otherwise is lying or doesn't understand the pervasiveness of society's influence. Consciously I work to subdue any of that.
You may be right. Although, I'd say I'm significantly more open-minded now.
That's a bit much. People can simply not be your type and it's not a racist thing. It means you just don't generally find those features attractive.
Same.
Not due to any cultural stereotypes, just always found asian people very attractive.
I've been attracted to women of all races at one point or another.
Ultimately, I'd like to think race would never factor into whether I would or would not date someone.
It's great that you're more open minded. But an admission that you find black women attractive in the "extreme" says you're still not seeing them in the same way that you do whichever group of women you've always found attractive (which I'm assuming is white, correct me if I'm wrong).
Waking up to the beauty of something new is in itself a beautiful thing that should totally be celebrated. But it's also necessary to wake up to the wholeness of black women. The wholeness of their lives. The wholeness of their experiences. The wholeness of them as human beings. That's how you move beyond just seeing them as the conscious or subconscious "other," as people whose value (here represented as attractiveness) doesn't vary based on your mood but is static based on their humanity. This goes for black women and any other racial group.
I applaud you for being honest though.
It's the "I'd like to think" that says so much here. Because we'd all like to think we're not seeing race. Hopefuls on a first date, university admissions officers, police--all of us like to think that we're impartial. But it's just not true.
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Entire races/ethnicities are not homogeneous entities devoid of variation in terms of features. That sentiment is not even remotely close to being grounded in reality and is pretty ignorant.
So when someone say's they don't generally find certain features attractive, how can they apply it to an entire group of people who all have different features?
Like I said, if you're stereotyping an entire group of people as looking the same way, there is a problem.
Both have their own accompanying issues. And both can be racist depending on the circumstance.
Aye. Like I said, I would like to think. I hope.
Just trying to find a way to answer as honestly as possible.
Trying to say it could never be potentially be a factor would feel somewhat dishonest.
Want to try to have more introspection than that.
Sort of, but I'm into all kinds of mixes like black/asian, white/south asian, etc.
I guess a lot of mixed race people end up looking vaguely Latino though haha.
That sentiment was stated by you, not me. I agree it's not grounded in reality. With that said, I can generally look at someone and tell what race they are, so there is some level of distinction with race. Everyone in the world has preferences, which means we find one thing more attractive than another.
Oh yeah, I see now where you're coming from. I don't *just* view them in a sexual manner, even though I understand that's the impression I made with my comment. The previous poster kinda hit the nail on the head, I tend to like those who like me. When I was younger, that was usually white girls. As an adult, I've had several black female friends show interest in me, and it totally caught me off guard because I wasn't accustomed to it.
But yeah, I appreciate your insight on the matter. I'll definitely heed your words.
If someone is unwilling to examine where their biases come from with reason and special care towards society and history, I would question their morals.
I don't disagree with that.
I think we're probably closer to one another in agreeing on most of the aspects related to this discussion here than we are apart.
most of us are emotionally 'attached' to something we are familiar with at first impression.....this isn't 'racism' per se.......just preferential of familiarity.
it's like if most people have been drinking full cream milk for their entire life. if one day, they were presented with the choice of full cream milk, skimmed milk or soy milk...most people will most likely chose full cream milk...this isn't to say their dislike the other choices...but familiarity goes a long way of giving us 'comfort' on a deeper level.
obviously, once people are able to step out of their comfort zone and try something new, most people may (or may not) change their preferences in the future based on their personal taste.
here in singapore, we are a multi-ethnic society (despite it being chinese majority). Because i've been mixed with all the races in singapore since young (through a combination of social engineering that the west no doubt deemed 'heavy handed' and 'nanny state'), so i have actually no 'preferences'. I find indian ladies as equally attractive as chinese ladies.
it's like if most people have been drinking full cream milk for their entire life. if one day, they were presented with the choice of full cream milk, skimmed milk or soy milk...most people will most likely chose full cream milk...this isn't to say their dislike the other choices...but familiarity goes a long way of giving us 'comfort' on a deeper level.
obviously, once people are able to step out of their comfort zone and try something new, most people may (or may not) change their preferences in the future based on their personal taste.
here in singapore, we are a multi-ethnic society (despite it being chinese majority). Because i've been mixed with all the races in singapore since young (through a combination of social engineering that the west no doubt deemed 'heavy handed' and 'nanny state'), so i have actually no 'preferences'. I find indian ladies as equally attractive as chinese ladies.
I don't think I have a race preference. But a dream guy for me is somewhat tan. And their skin has to be soft
It's pretty obvious where most "preferences" lie, in America at least.
The saddest part is that black women are the most open to dating men of every race, but they are consistently ignored the most...
Other notable things: White men are the most selective among males, while getting the most replies from women, shocker.
I'm curious to see why Asian men are ignored so much. Plenty of people seem to have a reason for ignoring black women (usually a racist one) but no one ever really gives a reason for Asian men other than they don't find them attractive. It's especially weird since Asian women are highly sought after.
It seems so, I only took issue with one thing you said in a rather large post and pretty much agreed with the rest.
OP
OP
decades of hollywood movies stereotyping asian men as asexual or for the most part not on screen at all
asian women however are stereotyped as hyper feminine
basically old colonialism legacy feeding into modern day views
Sure. It's just mostly that people never thought about it. It kinda happens throughout your life. But it's interesting to think why it is the way it is, i agree.
I also think it's absolutely mental to say "i'm just not attracted to a certain race". That's complete nonsense.
Are there similar stats from other countries? That's pretty interesting. And sad.
It's pretty obvious where most "preferences" lie, in America at least.
The saddest part is that black women are the most open to dating men of every race, but they are consistently ignored the most...
Other notable things: White men are the most selective among males, while getting the most replies from women, shocker.
And i know these are a couple years old. I'm curious if anything is changed over those years.
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It's pretty obvious where most "preferences" lie, in America at least.
The saddest part is that black women are the most open to dating men of every race, but they are consistently ignored the most...
Other notable things: White men are the most selective among males, while getting the most replies from women, shocker.
If I'm not mistaken, these crosstabs were released by OK Cupid years and years ago. Whenever something is written about interracial dating and preferences, writers go back to these numbers. I wish OK Cupid would update them.
I also wish Tinder would drop whatever data they have on preferences. They don't allow users to filter by race, but they'd be dumb not to be tracking what people really want.
Yeah, could not have said it better myself. Also - man, just walk into a nightclub and whatever racial preference existed gonna be blown out the window. You may have a preference, but you can't control who you going to be attracted to.
It's pretty obvious where most "preferences" lie, in America at least.
The saddest part is that black women are the most open to dating men of every race, but they are consistently ignored the most...
Other notable things: White men are the most selective among males, while getting the most replies from women, shocker.
No group of men crack 40% reply rate with any group of women. RIP
No, it's not. You can't negotieate attraction (thing that so many "nice guys" don't understand). You either feel or you don't. You might fight against your conditioning and maybe eventually you will succeed. but saying it's easy is pure BS.
To be fair, "please stop" and "leave me alone" count as replies.
He only messages girls than mention liking the MCU, and they can't help but respond to his hot takes.
Same lol.
When I did the online dating thing for a bit I found to have attract white, black, middle eastern, and Indian men. Little to none Asian men though, ah well.
Yes i have preference, as i have preference for redhead, doesn't mean i wouldn't date the other ones!
No I like every race and I like all shapes and sizes.
As someone who is afro latino and gay I don't buy hiding racism under the term "preference" it's one thing to prefer something sure it's another to ignore an entire race completely because they don't fit current white beauty standards. Asian men and black men from my experience of years of online dating have the worst luck and are usually ignored unless they have body builder body's or light skin.
As someone who is afro latino and gay I don't buy hiding racism under the term "preference" it's one thing to prefer something sure it's another to ignore an entire race completely because they don't fit current white beauty standards. Asian men and black men from my experience of years of online dating have the worst luck and are usually ignored unless they have body builder body's or light skin.
My partner is a very pale redhead and her preference was for blonde hair and blue eyes
I'm half british half chinese and my preference was for asian or tanned
We're both open to trying new things :)
I'm half british half chinese and my preference was for asian or tanned
We're both open to trying new things :)