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We need to have a talk on how we treat sexual assault victims on this site

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Xaszatm

Xaszatm

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,903
TW: Sexual Assault and Rape mentions

I…really didn't want to make this thread. I was hoping that things would die down and the perpetrators would have been punished but for every person getting banned for the following behavior 2 or 3 emerge to continue and I am exhausted, hurt, and angry.

I don't feel safe in ResetEra anymore.

This site over the past few weeks have been awful towards victim of sexual assault and rape. After Joe Biden was accused of Rape, I have seen repeated instances of gaslighting and victim blaming towards victims of sexual assault. I have seen people openly mock and bully those who feel uncomfortable voting for a rapist. I have seen people dismiss and accuse those affected by personal trauma. I have seen people openly try and find ways to blame women and excuse rapists with tangents not even related to the incident. I have seen people saying those who don't vote for a candidate means they secretly are sexist and hate women. All this repeated over and over and over and over until it feels like the whole site openly despises and dismisses victims.

This needs to stop.

The continuous gaslighting, victim blaming, and dismissal of rape and sexual assault claims cannot continue. There needs to be a point where we realize that this is counterproductive and change our approach to this election. We cannot claim to support women and then turn around and blame them just because they have trauma.
 
saenima

saenima

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
11,892
Hear hear.

It's like all the terrible rightwing arguments trotted out to defend rapists like Trump and Kavanaugh and Weinstein are now being recycled by dems to defend Biden.

Those people never gave a shit about the victims. It's all about point scoring in their favourite sport.
 
Josh5890

Josh5890

I'm Your Favorite Poster's Favorite Poster
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
23,177
Good thread. Really sad that it has come to this though.
 
saenima

saenima

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
11,892
When you take into account the reason Era was born in the first place, makes it even harder to accept that this is where we are now.
 
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,611
I'm not American so I haven't been following the Biden issues as closely as I possibly should be. But as a male victim of sexual assault, i am very used to being gaslit and mocked and bullied for my trauma. For women of course this is a far more occurrence, and seeing so much of era handwave Biden for it Is incredibly disheartening.
 
Musubi

Musubi

Unshakable Resolve - Prophet of Truth
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
23,611
Agreed. Nobody who has gone through this kind of abuse should be pressured or shamed into voting for someone who is an abuser.

Its been real gross seeing so many people dismiss a lot of peoples genuine concerns with pulling the lever for Joe.
 

Syril

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,895
I've seen this for more than just Biden and it's disgusting. I'd never want to even talk about this subject here because of it.

Xas you're a credit for making these threads.
 
shintoki

shintoki

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,078
Same thing I said in the last one. I think every sexual assault survivor knows there is a difference between Trump and Biden being elected. This does not need to be stated.

But they don't need to be lectured about it, they don't need to hear about how it is the "lesser of two evils", how it is 4 more years and their fault if they don't. And whatever dog shit excuse comes up to protect him and push guilt on to others.
 
Shadownet

Shadownet

Member
Oct 29, 2017
3,277
I'm not happy that I'll have to vote for Biden. Warren was my 1st choice, but I'll do what I have to for Trump to not win. But the amount of people here who would choose Biden as their 1st choice after the whole scandal came out is disturbing.
 

M.t.rosz

Alt-Account
Banned
Apr 3, 2020
8
It's really so horrible that you can't even feel comfortable talking about these topics as a victim.
Then to hear people actively dismiss others, with seemingly no consideration given to how difficult it is to even broach the topic of sexual assault/rape, is totally frustrating.
Creative justifications for supporting an abuser should not be judged by the argument but by the goal.
If in the end you intend to dismiss the testimony of a victim then your reasons are invalid.
We have to understand that victims are dismissed offhandedly throughout the world, and we have to be better than that.
 
16bits

16bits

Member
Apr 26, 2019
2,862
it sickens me when excuses are made in this forum for deceased celebrities like Jackson, Bryant, Bowie and Walker et al.
 
Rover

Rover

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,417
I'm certain the staff of this site look at these issues seriously, when these statements are reported in the threads they're made.

I'm all for critiquing the way this site gets run, but making blanket statements in a thread like this is not really specific or helpful enough to the people trying to moderate discussions, especially when there's a lot of political animus tangential to the sexual assault factor of the discussion. To have a productive change here, you're better off giving specific context, and reports can point to that.
 
PickledCucumber

PickledCucumber

Member
Sep 14, 2019
3,028
Sorry, off-topic, but is being sexually abused as a child considered sexual assault?

Always unsure to give my opinion when it comes to these topics since I don't know if I'm considered a victim of sexual assault or if abuse is a different category.
 
Volimar

Volimar

volunteer forum janitor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,344
I agree that people shouldn't be trying to shame others into voting for or against Biden. For one thing, it never works and just leads to a pointless back and forth, and second it does lead to people being made to feel marginalized or even erased because of the serious issues surrounding his candidacy and a Trump presidency.

Shadownet said:
I'm not happy that I'll have to vote for Biden. Warren was my 1st choice, but I'll do what I have to for Trump to not win. But the amount of people here who would choose Biden as their 1st choice after the whole scandal came out is disturbing.
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Warren was my first pick too. I don't think many people ever considered Biden their first choice, especially if our poll on the subject is any indication.
 
Volimar

Volimar

volunteer forum janitor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,344
TeddieBear said:
Sorry, off-topic, but is being sexually abused as a child considered sexual assault?

Always unsure to give my opinion when it comes to these topics since I don't know if I'm considered a victim of sexual assault or if abuse is a different category.
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If you're talking legally, it depends on where you live, but most people consider things like molestation to be assault.
 

Sixfortyfive

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
4,615
Atlanta
There are a lot of political threads that I just straight-up don't click on now when I see certain members in the "last post by" column, and this is one reason why.

Never really had to just mentally move a chunk of the site out of view before the past month or so.
 

Deleted member 2145

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
29,223
thank you for this thread OP, it's much needed and frankly this goes much much deeper than just Joe Biden

this goes all the way back to this forum's inception if we're being honest
 

Deleted member 13188

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,970
I have seen people openly mock and bully those who feel uncomfortable voting for a rapist.

Not an American, obviously can't vote in your elections there is no way I would ever vote for Biden if I could. With that out of the way.

Um is Joe Biden a rapist now?
 
Pop-O-Matic

Pop-O-Matic

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
12,861
Bamm_Bamm said:
I have seen people openly mock and bully those who feel uncomfortable voting for a rapist.

Not an American, obviously can't vote in your elections there is no way I would ever vote for Biden if I could. With that out of the way.

Um is Joe Biden a rapist now?
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www.resetera.com

"You're nothing": Joe Biden rape victim comes forward in brave audio interview [up: she filed a criminal complaint]

https://soundcloud.com/katie-halper/joe-bidens-accuser-finally-tells-her-full-story "Tara Reade has been trying to have her story told since 1993, when she was working as a staff assistant to then Senator Joe Biden." Harrowing stuff, if you can listen to this and not believe that he raped this...
www.resetera.com www.resetera.com
 
Eeyore

Eeyore

User requested ban
Banned
Dec 13, 2019
9,029
Bamm_Bamm said:
I have seen people openly mock and bully those who feel uncomfortable voting for a rapist.

Not an American, obviously can't vote in your elections there is no way I would ever vote for Biden if I could. With that out of the way.

Um is Joe Biden a rapist now?
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Do you believe women? This will inform the answer to your question.
 
TaySan

TaySan

SayTan
Member
Dec 10, 2018
31,402
Tulsa, Oklahoma
That thread was just too much. Just no respect towards other users who understandably not feel comfortable with voting for an alleged rapist. Shame on those users.
 
Volimar

Volimar

volunteer forum janitor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,344
I think a basic step would be guidelines in the General Election thread that instruct people not to try to shame people into or out of voting for Biden. You don't know what those people are going through, and a handful of posters on Era not voting isn't going to change the outcome of the election, so why engage in it?
 
Audioboxer

Audioboxer

Banned
Nov 14, 2019
2,943
The actual rape victim has more class than some



I said to two posters in the Bernie drops out thread to remember its going to take rape survivors both time and thinking. Voting isn't for quite a while and going full "you're basically a Trump supporter" in the face of not liking Biden, or even saying you're struggling to vote for him, is poor form.

Most people will still privately vote Blue no matter what on the day, but prior to that day they shouldn't be made to feel even more like shit.
 
Lentic

Lentic

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,835
I've also seen people continue drilling in "not voting for Biden is a vote for Trump", which is a pretty terrible thing to say. People who have been sexually assaulted are not obligated to vote for rapists if it makes them uncomfortable. It's not their fault. Stop piling on the fucking guilt.
 
Kyuuji

Kyuuji

The Favonius Fox
Member
Nov 8, 2017
32,045
Tapped out of the Bernie thread when I read one of the more disgusting comments of late. Xas continuing to call out bullshit, good to see it.
 
Darknight

Darknight

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,800
CormoranStrike said:
The amount of twisting people will do to excuse rapists never fails to astound me.
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I think one of the reasons is because a lot of people painted themselves into a corner by making voting a black and white issue and stating if you vote for someone, then you condone everything that the person you voted for did. Now the fact that they are being forced to vote for Biden, they're trying to twist and make excuses to justify it so it somehow doesn't go against the corner they painted themselves into before.
 
It’s Time To Go

It’s Time To Go

Member
Dec 2, 2017
20,611
Darknight said:
I think one of the reasons is because a lot of people painted themselves into a corner by making voting a black and white issue and stating if you vote for someone, then you condone everything that the person you voted for did. Now the fact that they are being forced to vote for Biden, they're trying to twist and make excuses to justify it so it somehow doesn't go against the corner they painted themselves into before.
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Very odd carry on.
 
Volimar

Volimar

volunteer forum janitor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,344
Darknight said:
I think one of the reasons is because a lot of people painted themselves into a corner by making voting a black and white issue and stating if you vote for someone, then you condone everything that the person you voted for did. Now the fact that they are being forced to vote for Biden, they're trying to twist and make excuses to justify it so it somehow doesn't go against the corner they painted themselves into before.
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Conversely, I think that by the time it got down to Biden, people were already convincing themselves of the "lesser of two evils" argument. When these allegations came forward even if they found them to be disturbing in the extreme, even if they care a great deal about survivors of sexual assault, they had already made the argument in their head so it didn't take much to keep going with it.
 
Rover

Rover

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,417
Volimar said:
I think a basic step would be guidelines in the General Election thread that instruct people not to try to shame people into or out of voting for Biden. You don't know what those people are going through, and a handful of posters on Era not voting isn't going to change the outcome of the election, so why engage in it?
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A blanket ban on "shaming people to vote / not to vote" is too broad and would really get in the way of addressing people in a discourse. If someone gets called a fool for believing that Biden is the antichrist, are they getting shamed?

I think the sexual assault allegation is a serious concern that's worth discussion. I also think some of the posts from other threads being alluded to here were rude and wrong.

At the same time, I think it really muddies the water to conflate that topic with other topics about whether or not Biden can beat Trump, whether Biden is as bad as Trump, or who deserved the nomination. The political threads are too incendiary as it is without associating support for a Biden or Trump win as taking a side on whether sexual assault is real.

I don't know exactly what policy would enable this, but a firewall between the topics seems necessary to give survivors a space to discuss sexual assaulters in politics (and this is not exclusive to Biden, btw), while not throwing more gas on the fire in more general politics threads.
 
Darknight

Darknight

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,800
CormoranStrike said:
Very odd carry on.
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What's odd? People like to simplify things rather than accept the complexity and nuance of issues and people don't like to admit they're wrong either. So I think the combination of the two has put people in a position where they're trying to justify having to vote for Biden instead of accepting the reality of what voting for Biden means to their principles.

Volimar said:
Conversely, I think that by the time it got down to Biden, people were already convincing themselves of the "lesser of two evils" argument. When these allegations came forward even if they found them to be disturbing in the extreme, even if they care a great deal about survivors of sexual assault, they had already made the argument in their head so it didn't take much to keep going with it.
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This is also a good point and argument too.
 
Surfinn

Surfinn

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
28,590
USA
saenima said:
When you take into account the reason Era was born in the first place, makes it even harder to accept that this is where we are now.
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Truth. I've had a wall of people publicly admit to ignoring my posts because I brought up an accusation of rape too much. A mod told me we need to wait for the right time.
 
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