Weddings are selfish. Prove me wrong
- Thread starter fick
- Start date
- Status
OP
OP
It’d be kind of hard to explain at this point, while I stand in my hotel room half naked.
OP
OP
You don't have to go. In fact I'm sure they'd rather have people there to celebrate their wedding instead of shit on it.
I mean of course they are. By nature they are.
You don't HAVE to go.
You made this bed...
If you don’t like those people enough to be at least a little bit happy for them, you could have declined the invitation...
The only selfish thing here seems to be you.
The only selfish thing here seems to be you.
No shit. Weddings are a $30-50k event for people to congratulate and fawn over a social construct made for 2 specific people.
The fact that you thought this was insightful enough to create a snarky "prove me wrong" thread makes me think you are a real gem to be around.
Just decline the next invitation. The end.
The fact that you thought this was insightful enough to create a snarky "prove me wrong" thread makes me think you are a real gem to be around.
Just decline the next invitation. The end.
I mean, why did you agree to go in the first place?
I'm cool with weddings, but actively skip them all the time if they're multiple states away.
If you're in the wedding party, you could have just said you can't make it due to work.
Yes, it's an obligation, but you said yes and it would be nice to not be a shitty friend/family member to whoever is getting married that likes you so much they want you in their wedding party
This isn't about you, it's about you being there on the biggest day of their lives
This is a sad, sad way of looking at things. Only on resetera lol
Weddings are fun celebrations for people you care about.
Weddings are fun celebrations for people you care about.
Wedding space are pretty limited, they would have no trouble finding someone else. It is also perfectly understandable why someone out of state can't make it.
Inherently they are self-serving. They are about two people wanting to publicly share their love for one another with their friends and family. That is not exactly the worst thing in the world. I do think these monster, expensive weddings are insane but what can you do? Don't go if you don't want to.
Frankly an open bar wedding can be fun!
Frankly an open bar wedding can be fun!
Ah in a lot of cases the couple have the wedding for others, not themselves.
Unless it's one of those "I've been dreaming of the perfect wedding since I was born" situations, it's a very selfless act.
Edit: this relates to my partner and I who would rather just get the papers signed...
Unless it's one of those "I've been dreaming of the perfect wedding since I was born" situations, it's a very selfless act.
Edit: this relates to my partner and I who would rather just get the papers signed...
People use "social obligations" as an excuse to do things they don't want to do and don't agree with all the time.
But you're an adult.
If you think something is a misguided tradition, then simply don't participate. You don't have to be an ass about it.
But you're an adult.
If you think something is a misguided tradition, then simply don't participate. You don't have to be an ass about it.
What the OP described is a huge sink of money and time for some people, just for a wedding. Let's not pretend some weddings aren't ridiculous in what they ask of the guests, putting them in the position of either having to commit or looking like a "bad friend" for declining.
You're looking at it from a very pessimistic point of view, try to see it as you get to witness a really happy day for two people that (I assume) you care about, and with all the bad stuff that happens in the world you get a nice positive respite from that. Plus there's food and drinks, everyone will be havig a good time, soak in the good vibes dude, you only live once!
I traveled 8 hours by plane, rented an Airbnb for a week, them had to drive a few hours and spent 7 hours at a wedding. You know what else? I loved every minute of it. I got to see my two best friends get married, and I could not have been happier about it.
You could say no. I almost said no to my last out of state invite, but then I got a ride and the hotel was paid for. Paid for the flight and tux rental which was no issue because I had time to prepare. Had a great time.
For certain people, I can do the retreat wedding. Go somewhere for a week or weekend and everyone is just in one big spot hanging out the whole time. But for most, I'll drive up to two hours hang out and then leave.
For certain people, I can do the retreat wedding. Go somewhere for a week or weekend and everyone is just in one big spot hanging out the whole time. But for most, I'll drive up to two hours hang out and then leave.
Boohoo. You voluntarily chose to attend the celebration of two people who love each other enough to try to dedicate their lives to their relationship. Poor you.
What heartless, selfish pricks. How dare they invite you to one of the happiest days of their lives. Fuck them for thinking you're an important enough part of their life to share in that joy.
And you have to wear a tux for 5 entire hours. Wow. The horror.
You have all my sympathy, OP. I can't imagine the pain you're experiencing right now. Are you setting up a gofundme? I'll happily donate to help ease your suffering.
What heartless, selfish pricks. How dare they invite you to one of the happiest days of their lives. Fuck them for thinking you're an important enough part of their life to share in that joy.
And you have to wear a tux for 5 entire hours. Wow. The horror.
You have all my sympathy, OP. I can't imagine the pain you're experiencing right now. Are you setting up a gofundme? I'll happily donate to help ease your suffering.
Yes, weddings are about a couple celebrating their commitment to each other and spending thousands of dollars on themselves and to host a large number of people.
It's literally not about you
It's literally not about you
Plus, it isn't selfish because they invited you, they wanted *you* to be a part of a wonderful day and a good time! Like, don't you think that is really nice of them?
Mine didn't ask any guests to go further than 20 miles, any suit was fine for the ceremony and dinner, you could go smart casual for the evening party if you wanted. Your food was paid for, your first 4 drinks were paid for and various bits of our homemade decorations were given away to guests at the end of the night such as the centrepieces. If you couldn't make it that was fine, no harm done. We asked for no gifts but still got some anyway. How was that selfish?
it's also the most money I've ever spent in one go and practically all of it was going to feeding the guests.
it's also the most money I've ever spent in one go and practically all of it was going to feeding the guests.
It's 2 people wanting to celebrate an important moment in their life, and I don't see why they shouldn't. You should stop being so cynical.
OP
OP
Yeah, which is why I’m posting on a forum and not venting to them.
They are inherently indulgent activities but that's kinda the point - you're not obliged to go.
I admit I prefer low-key weddings without much fuss but if travel is too much just don't go. I've been to one destination wedding and had a great time which (mostly) cancelled out the hassle of flights/cost.
I admit I prefer low-key weddings without much fuss but if travel is too much just don't go. I've been to one destination wedding and had a great time which (mostly) cancelled out the hassle of flights/cost.
ITT: OP who doesn't understand that bitching about doing something voluntary makes you look like a major jackass.
- Status