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What motivates people to have children?

ToddBonzalez

ToddBonzalez

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,139
I get that kids can be cute sometimes, but that seems to be the only pro versus a long list of cons on having children. The 2 biggest negatives are definitely the huge financial burden (especially if you want to save to send your kid to college) and the significant inconveniences to your life (need to find a daycare if you work, can’t spend time with friends/SO outside the house without a babysitter, can’t spend time at home doing what you want because you need to take care of the kid).

I mean why is it worth it? Is it just the biological drive to reproduce? Parents of ERA, enlighten me.
 
Kurdel

Kurdel

Member
Nov 7, 2017
12,132
It's the easiest and fastest path to happiness and furfillment for must people.

Not saying it isn't work (good luck with all that), but that is how I see it.
 
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Outtrigger888

Outtrigger888

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,396
I've gotten more enjoyment being a parent than anything in life. I like taking them on adventures and teaching them things. It's hard to be a parent but worth the sacrifices.
 
subpar spatula

subpar spatula

Member
Oct 26, 2017
15,341
a lot of folks are financially fine having kids and it doesn't ruin their social lives. y'all seem like the moment a kid pops out is the moment life ends. y'all been reading too many stories.
 
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ToddBonzalez

ToddBonzalez

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,139
CormoranStrike said:
Is that OP serious when it describes kids ‘being cute’ as the only benefit to having them?
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I mean I guess I never found kids to be all that appeaing. They’re often loud, dirty, annoying...when they get past that phase they’re well on their way to becoming teenagers at which point they’ll want nothing to do with their parents.
 
Absoludacrous

Absoludacrous

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
2,193
subpar spatula said:
a lot of folks are financially fine having kids and it doesn't ruin their social lives. y'all seem like the moment a kid pops out is the moment life ends. y'all been reading too many stories.
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It's a video game message board. It's going to lean heavier on people who see kids as an obstacle to their gaming freedom.
 
Qikz

Qikz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,926
¡ B 0 0 P ! said:
At its core it's animal instinct. All organisms strive to reproduce and multiply.
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It's this. There's also this weird pressure to think every human related to you up until this point has successfully reproduced from the very birth of humanity, if you don't continue on that biological line then you're ending a 200,000+ year old lineage which while most people won't think about is something I guess in the back of your mind that drives you to want to reproduce.
 
shaneo632

shaneo632

Member
Oct 29, 2017
19,855
Essex, UK
Fear of dying/being forgotten. Having had a shit upbringing and wanting to "break the cycle" as it were. Or just biological motivation.

Qikz said:
It's this. There's also this weird pressure to think every human related to you up until this point has successfully reproduced from the very birth of humanity, if you don't continue on that biological line then you're ending a 200,000+ year old lineage which while most people won't think about is something I guess in the back of your mind that drives you to want to reproduce.
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For me it makes me feel the opposite. I don't want kids and having the "power" to end this line through sheer inaction is kinda hilarious to me.
 
Kurdel

Kurdel

Member
Nov 7, 2017
12,132
Sweeney Swift said:
It's not worth it imo, especially with the ongoing climate crisis that makes me never want to adopt and raise a kid that will deal with all that
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Yeah I think we will mostly be fine, but I have enough anxiety as it is, nevermind thinking about how my descendants will be cursed with life on a dying planet.
 
sprsk

sprsk

Resettlement Advisor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,173
Why have friends? Why date? Why get married? Just live your life completely alone and never share it with anyone.
 
neon_dream

neon_dream

Member
Dec 18, 2017
3,649
- Loving someone else so much you want to create life with them, life that's hopefully the best of what you love about each other
- Wanting to give of yourself, to teach and guide and protect and provide, because giving of yourself is the best and most rewarding thing a person can do in this world
- Creating a human being and teaching that person to do good in the world, to make the world a better place

Those are a couple of reasons I thought of in like 2 minutes. I'm sure if you think hard enough long enough you can think of a few more.
 
Speedlynx

Speedlynx

Member
Nov 22, 2017
796
I honestly don’t know. I’ve never had the urge. I don’t want to be wholly responsible for another human being.

Also I haven’t done everything I want to do. It seems like a child would greatly conflict with that.

And the world is real shitty right now. Plus it’s extremely overpopulated.
 
nullref

nullref

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,022
ToddBonzalez said:
I get that kids can be cute sometimes, but that seems to be the only pro versus a long list of cons on having children.
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I don't personally plan to have children, but this is a fairly ridiculous perspective on why people do it. While not everyone ends up having great relationships with their children for various reasons, a lot of people derive fulfillment, meaning, and social support from their relationships with their descendants, and I imagine that's what most people hope for when they have them. That it requires work and sacrifices to raise them just adds additional meaning to those relationships.
 
Doggg

Doggg

Member
Nov 17, 2017
8,742
I don't think most people think about it too much. It's just the normal thing to do, so they do it.
 
Cobalt Thorium G

Cobalt Thorium G

Banned
Dec 3, 2018
723
My kid is the best person I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Didn't want kids at all at one point, then my wife and I had done everything we ever wanted to do on our own and the urge to go to the next step grew in both of us, best decision we ever made, nothing in my life has ever felt as fulfilling as raising this amazing little person.

That's some cheesy ass shit, but you did ask.
 
MasterYoshi

MasterYoshi

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,807
I'm always somehow shocked to read the opinions people on a gaming forum have about procreation. I don't know how this thing still surprises me at this point. It's really noticeable in the threads about climate change. If you're a young parent, you're the fucking devil himself in those threads.

My children are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. They give me a clear purpose and motivation to move forward every day. The special moments that I share with them outweigh anything self rewarding that I ever did before becoming a parent. I hope that I raise them to be loving, caring people, and that some day, they will be by my side holding my hand as I take my final breath.

I don't know if that's selfish, but I feel comfort in the thought of my kids being close to me when I go.
 
Jon Carter

Jon Carter

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,219
It’s a mini-you + mini-S.O. combined. If you don’t hate yourself or your S.O., bringing that into the world tends to be appealing.
 
Spaltazar

Spaltazar

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,103
Qikz said:
It's this. There's also this weird pressure to think every human related to you up until this point has successfully reproduced from the very birth of humanity, if you don't continue on that biological line then you're ending a 200,000+ year old lineage which while most people won't think about is something I guess in the back of your mind that drives you to want to reproduce.
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go away with these feels!

*dives into digital entertainment to not think about this stuff*
 
mjc

mjc

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,850
subpar spatula said:
a lot of folks are financially fine having kids and it doesn't ruin their social lives. y'all seem like the moment a kid pops out is the moment life ends. y'all been reading too many stories.
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This is the realest post in the thread.

Kids don't burden you to the point where you become shut ins. And while you do lose some free time, you don't lose it all.
 
Hjod

Hjod

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
4,981
Behind my desk.
I love my SO so much so I would love to have a child with her, a combination of us. Starting a family, so I guess it's all biological, like love, or arousal and so on.
 
Skel1ingt0n

Skel1ingt0n

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,614
This forum cracks me up sometimes. Like, I totally respect not wanting to have kids. No issue with that of all, of course. Whether it just be because you want to focus entirely on yourself, you and your partner, vacations, financial stability... or hell, maybe you just think kids are annoying. But to not even be able to understand why others might want a family... that's really that hard?

Anyway, I had a great single life. Plenty of different girlfriends/partners, a couple great hobbies (video games, photography, cars); once I got married I was able to focus on savings, buying a house, going on lots of vacations, etc. For all intents and purposes, I was living the "dream" with a good job and some financial security and a beautiful wife. I wasn't biting at the bit for kids, by any means. I knew I wanted one someday, but someday could certainly be down the road.

I have a 10 month old girl now, and she is - without a doubt - the most incredible, amazing, fulfilling thing I've ever done. She's beautiful. She is smart. She is already so kind and so strong-willed. I can pretty much see her brain firing when she figures something out or learns something. I have a life ahead of me of sharing the world's experiences with her. To go on trips. To find a passion. To work hard and fail. To work hard and succeed. To work hard and realize it didn't matter. To love. To lose love. To find love again but different. To meet friends. To grow as friends. To understanding what makes her tick. To finding a job and a career and then, eventually, maybe even her own family and for her to experience all of this through the eyes of a parent. And in return? I am a bit more tired, I can't go on that vacation to Tokyo this year, I have a fair bit less time for video games, and I've gained ~10lbs. Big whoop. I'd make that trade a million times over to get one more day with her.

This board is sometimes too damn cynical. There are still plenty of things worth living for in this world. There is so much wrong with it, too, yes; but hopefully I can empower her to be a voice of change. And even if not... even the littlest things can be the most magical for a child. I can't wait to share.
 
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