I know people that did not want kids their entire life and now are in their 40's or about to be 40 and have regrets, but are too scared to try now due to possible complications from pregnancy. People can change their minds.
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What motivates people to have children?
- Thread starter ToddBonzalez
- Start date
I know people that did not want kids their entire life and now are in their 40's or about to be 40 and have regrets, but are too scared to try now due to possible complications from pregnancy. People can change their minds.
If I didn't have kids I'd still be wasting my life playing video games 40+ hours a week.
Kids - meaningful
Video Games - meaningless
I'll take the kids.
Kids - meaningful
Video Games - meaningless
I'll take the kids.
Pressure from friends and family.
Boredom.
Thinking it will fix a relationship.
Someone to take care of them when they are old (seriously haha)
Someone to do chores, take care of the farm, or something.
Because they like taking care of other people kids and figure they'd want their own.
Someone to leave their stuff to when they die.
Personally I see no good reason.
Boredom.
Thinking it will fix a relationship.
Someone to take care of them when they are old (seriously haha)
Someone to do chores, take care of the farm, or something.
Because they like taking care of other people kids and figure they'd want their own.
Someone to leave their stuff to when they die.
Personally I see no good reason.
If you're being serious... this is supremely close-minded. I'm not saying you have to agree with anyone's reasons for having kids, but there are most certainly more positive reasons behind the decision than those above.
man...the average age of ERA is like 25, is it?
then i guess it's the end of the human race as we know it.
It's very simple. Most people instinctively want to have children and also it gives purpose to people's lives.
Personally, I'm not interested in having children so it's not for me. Maybe I'll change my mind someday but I'm in my 30s and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
Personally, I'm not interested in having children so it's not for me. Maybe I'll change my mind someday but I'm in my 30s and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
World is going to be a great place when the only people procreating are christian climate change deniers...
Taking a step back for a moment, why do you think a life experiencing and dealing with climate change isn't worth living? I can appreciate the idea that decreasing human beings on our planet is an effective way to reverse climate change(though this has some rather nasty conclusions about what we really should do if we were to take this approach seriously). That logic makes sense. But the idea that you are sparing a person a life not worth living because of climate change, and that you are somehow in the position to evaluate that is preposterous. Would you rather have never been born than live through climate change(which you arguably already are doing)?
Big difference between what makes you happy and what gives you meaning.
Kids are meaning machines, but it's a sacrifice for sure.
Kids are meaning machines, but it's a sacrifice for sure.
looooooool do I gain the knowledge when I hit 40?
Life is only boring if you're a boring person. Having kids because you're bored is hilarious.
I have three kids and work full time. I have no problem finding time for myself if I need it. Sure I don't get as much as I used to, but I still get more than enough to be happy. As for traveling, we just went on vacation last week and had a fun time.
I don't know? You could volunteer? There are plenty of ways to leave an impact on the world that don't require you to have kids. I don't think believing you need kids so you can have a legacy is very healthy.
Yeah, if you mean the most expensive and time consuming. if you need companionship get a pet. You don't need to knock somebody up to be happy.
I got bad news about te rest of the Internet and the state of the world
Of course I know kids can have a passport. But traveling with kids is an entirely different experience than traveling as an adult with friends or a partner. If you're taking kids, you have to try and do things that will keep them entertained. It's just not something I have any interest in.
I get paid low wages for my job in an expensive area. At least Disneyland's a 10-mile drive.
Most of my paycheck goes to retirement funds as I don't want to end up as my parents.
I get a few hundred a month for spending money.
There's no way I can support a kid.
Most of my paycheck goes to retirement funds as I don't want to end up as my parents.
I get a few hundred a month for spending money.
There's no way I can support a kid.
It depends, which is a boring answer. Some people do it because 'you're supposed to'. Some do it because 'it will give meaning to your life', or to become 'complete'. Or that's what I've been told.
I'm not interested in having kids. In fact, I've been wanting to have the snip done but I'm afraid doctors will turn me away for being too young (27).
I'm not interested in having kids. In fact, I've been wanting to have the snip done but I'm afraid doctors will turn me away for being too young (27).
My daughter has slept till noon since like 6 months old . Lucky I know but even sleep ain't bad for everyone
My ex has a 2 y,o daughter. She treats me like her dad basically. She can be annoying especially when she cries or when she's sick. But she can be cute and adorable. I've only been with her for a year and its a mixed feeling of course since she's technically not mine.
But I can see why people get kids. Unfortunately it didn't worked out with my ex.
Maybe the only reason I can find is for my parents to have grandchildren. If I can find the right one and I'm open to having children. It's ok if she doesn't want as well.
It's a different era now. Most of my co-workers who are in the mid to late 30's doesn't have kids or are still single.
But I can see why people get kids. Unfortunately it didn't worked out with my ex.
Maybe the only reason I can find is for my parents to have grandchildren. If I can find the right one and I'm open to having children. It's ok if she doesn't want as well.
It's a different era now. Most of my co-workers who are in the mid to late 30's doesn't have kids or are still single.
Kids are super adaptable. We travelled in a pretty poor country for two months with an eight month old. Going to do it again with two kids in the next few months.
Kids aren't all the same and they don't need you to entertain them. Let them join in with what you find important and they'll quickly get used to the values you lay out.
i'll be shock and yet not really....i'm in the 30s myself..
Young people don't really visit ancient tomes like 'forums'....instead all they did are tweets and snapchatting (or whatever they will engage next)....:P
Pre download the airplane app to have access to the airline cartoons on the tablet lol. Also lots of snacks. And headphones
Now this is a post.
Ironically though, you giving this answer to OPs question is kind of when my 4 year old asks me "where do elephants come from" and I answer by explaining natural selection to him.
I was the oldest child so I had enough of it all when I was at 16 or something, seeing the stress and dealing with trying to be an example to my siblings myself. I doubt I was ever a problem for my parents, but boy was my younger sister, and somewhat my younger brother. I've seen the chaos of "you never want me to have any fun" and having finding them sneaking out of the window at night becoming the bad guy for trying to look out for them. When they finally became adults, one now being a Major in the army even, it felt like I already been through it and NOPE. The thing is, the stuff I did was just a grain of sand in actually raising someone.
This year I was helping my brother check his car to make sure it was ready to drive for a long trip back home. It was 2 A.M., we needed to make sure this was done so. He kept having to go back and forward to check on the kids because something was happening and his wife needed his help. At one point he said, "ah the challenge." One was a baby, and the other a toddler. I couldn't do that, and it's not because I want to play games, I hardly do that at all now, there's too much time required to attend to them. I guess it's just not for me, and I'm glad that I don't see why people do it.
As for the mini me and mini significant other into one+, I'm the type of person that don't care for that either. I don't care about preserving some family tree to keep it going because I find no value in that since when I'm dead it doesn't matter to me. There's enough people on this planet, and if I did want a kid why wouldn't I help a kid that don't have a home?
Biology. My fiancee's got that baby fever right now.
I'd rather adopt or not have kids at all than have a child of our own, due to climate change concerns, but I get her desire to see what our genes could produce.
I'd rather adopt or not have kids at all than have a child of our own, due to climate change concerns, but I get her desire to see what our genes could produce.
There's so much awesome stuff to do these days. Awesome technology, awesome vehicles and activities. We can pay a lot of money to experience zero G, or go anywhere we want with a awesome GPS on our phones. We're only limited to the time we have off and what we can spend.
It's like a really big project that (hopefully) eventually grows into another well rounded and civil person.
It's at the point where I'm actually starting to feel weird about wanting to have kids at some point judging by what other people my age have been saying, a lot of my friends don't seem to ever want them.
It's hard to explain but I've always felt like it's something I want to do. Growing up I always enjoyed spending time with my family. I want to experience that from the other side.
It's hard to explain but I've always felt like it's something I want to do. Growing up I always enjoyed spending time with my family. I want to experience that from the other side.
When people get older they start to want to find meaning in their life and leave their mark on the world even after they die. Having kids is one way to serve that need and find self-fulfillment. Also, like, all creatures have the desire to reproduce hard-wired into their brains, otherwise they'd go extinct.
I'm not saying it isn't rewarding to have kids and that some people can make it work for them. It's just not for me.
I'm 28, and have felt that way since I was a kid.
How do you prevent your kids from throwing tantrums?
I worked at one of the disney parks in the past and that experience made me want to castrate myself.
I worked at one of the disney parks in the past and that experience made me want to castrate myself.
not literally obviously
That's the thing, people make the decision or mistake of having a kid, the kid don't owe them anything. The kid didn't make a deal to pay them back if they born them into the world and make sure they are able to survive until they can fly on their own.
I actually wonder why something like birds do it, and it's just programmed in them (how else would they survive as a species). I can't imagine it being fun for them, they have to find more food, fight off intruders, risk being killed themselves, but what else are they going to do for entertainment or to pass time? I had a bird nest that found an opening in my metal roof. One day I sealed it off, and two days later I removed it to make a more lasting seal and the birds came back and removed the dead chicks (discarded them right on my deck 15 feet away), and started laying new eggs. I felt bad that I caused them to die, so I let them finish this batch and sealed it in the winter. That was years ago, and til this day there's a nest between metal joints in my roof with chicks each Spring or so (the buggers find any gap and I can't seal them without welding or something).
I've been a father for a couple of weeks now.
Yes, I do get less free time for myself obviously, but I feel more refreshed and energized all day long at work, probably because I'm happier. I always look forward to see the baby after work. I also think and plan stuff more carefully now. I'm responsible not only for my wife now, but also my child.
Yes, I do get less free time for myself obviously, but I feel more refreshed and energized all day long at work, probably because I'm happier. I always look forward to see the baby after work. I also think and plan stuff more carefully now. I'm responsible not only for my wife now, but also my child.
My daughter is 7, we've taken her to Japan, Morocco, Spain, Belgium and the Netherlands. She's been to Kauai twice and Maui once. Disneyland once and Disneyworld once. We're taking her to Slovakia, Poland and Hungary in November.
Shit, since she was born my wife and I have gone to Japan once without her, Mexico without her and we did a long weekend to San Francisco last month.
You can still do those things.
I got to go to my favorite brewery by myself for two hours on Saturday. When I got home my daughter and I did science experiments on the patio and when she went to bed my wife and I spent quality time together.
Your life doesn't end, you just move some priorities around.
I feel like a lot of parents are getting offended by my post. As I said above - I'm sure it can work for some people, and I'm not saying your life is over. I adore my siblings so I totally get the appeal of being a parent. Introducing my little brother and sisters to stuff like Avatar and the Pokemon games is always a joy, and the way they look up to me (and won't stop texting me these days) is hella cute.
But you will definitely have less freedom as a parent than you had before. And I personally am not about that life. I enjoy being able to do whatever the hell I want whenever I want. I'm not willing to make those concessions, and I don't think that's selfish given I get one life and should get to choose how to live it. If I change my mind later in life, I'd rather just adopt anyway. My biological dad has an adopted daughter and I don't view her any differently.
My step-dad was barely around, and my mum is a complete mess. Trust me, I know enough.
But you will definitely have less freedom as a parent than you had before. And I personally am not about that life. I enjoy being able to do whatever the hell I want whenever I want. I'm not willing to make those concessions, and I don't think that's selfish given I get one life and should get to choose how to live it. If I change my mind later in life, I'd rather just adopt anyway. My biological dad has an adopted daughter and I don't view her any differently.
Don't make assumptions.
My step-dad was barely around, and my mum is a complete mess. Trust me, I know enough.
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Even if you get your dream job or dream relationship, eventually you will get bored and wonder if there could be more to life.
Also, I reckon a surprising amount of kids are accidents and the parents didn't really want them.
Also, I reckon a surprising amount of kids are accidents and the parents didn't really want them.
Call me shallow, but my idea of "more to life" does not include poop, piss, and vomit.
It's simple. For people like that, both are not his problem.
"At least no one *I* care about will be affected by climate change!"
People having kids is the only reason you're even alive right now. You should go thank your parents instead of making this thread. It makes no sense.
Partner and I don't want kids. Don't want pets. DINK forever. Its far and away the superior choice for us. Get to do what we want, when we want, for as long as we want. I can pursue my hobbies with abandon and don't need to stress myself out caring for a kid.
As some above have said, having kids is abandoning that level of freedom. Power to those that decide to do it though.
As some above have said, having kids is abandoning that level of freedom. Power to those that decide to do it though.