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What's with people taking pride in beating their kids??

Mulciber

Member
Aug 22, 2018
4,251
That really sucks, and was the basis for my parents' reasoning as to why they did it. I can't tell you how many times I heard "spare the rod, spoil the child" growing up.

Yeah, mom, not hitting me with a fucking frying pan really would be just like spoiling me =\
Yeah, I've definitely heard that verse quoted by my family a lot. I can't even talk to them about it. They won't even listen, at all. In fact they openly mock the idea that anyone wouldn't spank. If they ever see some kid acting out - or worse, something like a school shooting - you can bet on someone saying "guess who wasn't spanked!" or something similar.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,896
I’ve read the OP.

The headline is still triggering, and it’s extremely frustrating as a black person to read that. I’ll respond to the EXACT part that has me hot right now. Please read it and let me know if there are any other rules I must make sure to follow to appease your sensibilities. Sigh.
But forreal. What is it that makes us behave this way with our kids? Obviously I don't think this is black people/culture exclusive, but it feels soooo much more central to traditional black parenting methods, and I really can't stand it.
Who is “us?” I’m black, my whole family is black, and I personally think it’s a little fucked to post things like this that generalize a person’s life as if it’s representative of the entire race.

I’m not mad at the OP, just the general idea and fact that our people have to put up with these dumbass stereotypes as if they’re proven fact. Frustrating.

EDIT: I grew up around a lot of country ass white folk that beat the shit out of their children, wives and family members AND bragged about it in public and got kudos for it. The shit ain’t localized to our people but we’re the only ones that have threads like this made about them. Shit makes my blood boil.
 

Bio

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
2,337
Denver, Colorado
Yeah, I've definitely heard that verse quoted by my family a lot. I can't even talk to them about it. They won't even listen, at all. In fact they openly mock the idea that anyone wouldn't spank. If they ever see some kid acting out - or worse, something like a school shooting - you can bet on someone saying "guess who wasn't spanked!" or something similar.
I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of school shooters were physically abused as children. I'd actually be interested in seeing any data that might exist on that.
 

Static Shock

Coward
Oct 27, 2017
4,422
Florida
Yes it's very bizarre. Some people seem to take great pride on how they were beaten and how now they beat their kids. It's ridiculous.
I've been around parents who celebrate that shit. Kid's see their parents celebrate it and just expect it. A group of friends I knew in middle school use to brag about "The worst ass whooping of a lifetime". We just expected beating like it was allowance. Now that I'm connected to the internet and seeing people get arrested for leaving familiar scars on their kids just gave me a different perspective on things.
 

The Adder

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,172
My mom and I used to joke that she couldn't punish me because she taught me to love reading from when I was little and what was she going to do, take away my books?

...


Then one time she took away the book I was in the middle of reading.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,629
Don’t make thread titles that are clearly going to trigger people. It’s just not smart and people on this forum CRUSH news outlets all the time for doing the same.

Just don’t do it. Seriously.
It's not a news article, it's an informal post on a forum about OP's own experiences with their own family. Could the title be better? Sure, but it's pretty obvious from the actual post what they are talking about.
The OP makes it self-evident why the topic is poorly named.
It may be poorly named but that doesn't invalidate OP's experience nor the phenomenon they are describing which is supported by a lot of research.
 

xnipx

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
142
It started with slavery. Authority over your children was the only thing they had back then. Abuse was the only example they had of how to handle disobedience. And it’s been passed down ever since. I had to tell my mother I’m not her property one day and that went just swell.
 

Powdered Egg

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,108
The problem with labeling it conservative is that black culture is both really conservative and really progressive at the same time.
It is but I would say between ethnic African-Americans, Africans, and Carribeans we're overall conservative in the US. I do love the shift in some attitudes w/our and the younger generations.
 

QuantumZebra

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,973
Beating kids is a common thing in any conservative/highly religious culture, it's not just a "black people" thing.
Pretty much this. As a white kid raised in Atlanta (thereby being around black and white conservative communities) - they both love it / bragging about it.

I spanked my daughters when they were younger and did something really bad (like hurting the cat by pulling on their tail) around age 3ish, but we haven't spanked them in years (age 7 and 6 now).

I would argue it is a justifiable thing to do when they're going ape shit or hurting things, but past age 4 it doesn't even work, so meh.
 

asmith906

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,090
Yeah, same applies at work ofc. If an employee is walking all over you and doesn’t respect your authority, the best course of action is to go up to them and punch them. That’ll teach em.
Popping a child on the behind every once in a while when they do something really bad is not the same thing as randomly walking around punching children in the face.
 

Westbahnhof

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
6,304
Austria
I’ve read the OP.

The headline is still triggering, and it’s extremely frustrating as a black person to read that. I’ll respond to the EXACT part that has me hot right now. Please read it and let me know if there are any other rules I must make sure to follow to appease your sensibilities. Sigh.

Who is “us?” I’m black, my whole family is black, and I personally think it’s a little fucked to post things like this that generalize a person’s life as if it’s representative of the entire race.

I’m not mad at the OP, just the general idea and fact that our people have to put up with these dumbass stereotypes as if they’re proven fact. Frustrating.

EDIT: I grew up around a lot of country ass white folk that beat the shit out of their children, wives and family members AND bragged about it in public and got kudos for it. The shit ain’t localized to our people but we’re the only ones that have threads like this made about them. Shit makes my blood boil.
I went into this thread thinking that OP was simply generalizing based on his personal experience, his family, his friends maybe.
But if you look at the statistics that were posted later, it actually seems like black people (in America) do use/accept beating children more often than the other groups polled. I think that's probably what OP meant, that it is generally more accepted.
Do you disagree with that?
Full disclosure, I'm a complete outsider, being neither black nor American.

We know it’s the rule.

Still, my black ass. Do better with your fucking thread titles.
Oh, no argument there. I went into this thread expecting a super racist rant that gets nuked within minutes, from the title. It should absolutely be changed.
Manny Toons Would you ask for a title change? It looks really bad, I think. Your thread and all, but I think you can see how it's derailing hard
 

Torpedo Vegas

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,655
Lexington, KY
My grandparents did wild shit to my parents, so it's only right that my kids gets a smack on the ass every so often.
Now imagine the shit your great grandparents did to your grandparents.

My grandmother had no love for her father, because as punishment he 'd make them set between the potbellied stove and the wall. She said she would have to pull her arm into her shirt and set with them in front of her face to keep her face from being burnt. If they talked back they had to eat Vick's Vapor Rub.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,896
It's not a news article, it's an informal post on a forum about OP's own experiences with their own family. Could the title be better? Sure, but it's pretty obvious from the actual post what they are talking about.

It may be poorly named but that doesn't invalidate OP's experience nor the phenomenon they are describing which is supported by a lot of research.
Then make the damn title better. Shit sounds so damn stereotypical. It ain’t my fault. I didn’t make the thread but it’s in the public now. And I have my
It's not a news article, it's an informal post on a forum about OP's own experiences with their own family. Could the title be better? Sure, but it's pretty obvious from the actual post what they are talking about.
Then update the title. It’s an “informal post” about a VERY sensitive issue. Obviously not to you, but to a lot of people like myself, 100% frustrating. Don’t marginalize the idea that “WHY DO WE (read: BLACK PEOPLE) BEAT OUR CHILDREN AND BRAG ABOUT IT?” is a bad take.
 

ProfessorLobo

Member
Oct 31, 2017
1,086
I'd say it's more of a poor thing than a black thing. It's why we don't say 'black people commit more crime'. I'd say it has nothing to do with being black, but more to do with people being powerless, and the only way to exert any power is over their children.
 

pizoxuat

Member
Jan 12, 2018
493
I have the wildest memory of being awoken to a beating. I was being spanked for sleepwalking.

My step-dad liked to ritualize the spankings when he wasn't doing them in a blind rage. Make me go fetch the brush he liked to hit me with. Make me pull down my pants and panties. Make me tell him why he was doing it before he'd start hitting. Make me apologize for making him do it afterwards. That was only when he wasn't doing it in a blind rage though.

I don't spank my kid.
 
Now imagine the shit your great grandparents did to your grandparents.

My grandmother had no love for her father, because as punishment he 'd make them set between the potbellied stove and the wall. She said she would have to pull her arm into her shirt and set with them in front of her face to keep her face from being burnt. If they talked back they had to eat Vick's Vapor Rub.
Damn, that's even more extreme than some of the stories I have heard. My grandfather was a cold dude to his kids so I definitely can't even imagine the shit his parents put him through.
 

Mulciber

Member
Aug 22, 2018
4,251
I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of school shooters were physically abused as children. I'd actually be interested in seeing any data that might exist on that.
Oh that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. I've seen a few articles talking about it, for sure, but not the data. As I recall, sexual abuse is pretty common as well.
 

Wackamole

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
9,279
"Discipline".
Yeah people want to be seen as authorities. If you can't show that with reason and love, then why not with shouting and beating?

Has nothing to do with just black people though. It's not racial. It's what most people on earth think. It's obsolete old shit that passes on through generations.
 
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Westbahnhof

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
6,304
Austria
Popping a child on the behind every once in a while when they do something really bad is not the same thing as randomly walking around punching children in the face.
You popping employees on their behind? What's this weird "it's not exactly the same" stuff supposed to achieve? Do you physically punish an employee is walking all over you and doesn’t respect your authority? Would you, if it were legal?
 

joecanada

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,518
Canada
"Spare the rod spoil the child" Hell ya!

" whatsoever you did for the least of my brothers and sisters you did for me " ahaha that Jesus man he was a great guy * ignores*
 

mutantmagnet

Member
Oct 28, 2017
8,653
i'll never understand people who are ok with beating on fucking children, you shouldn't even be beating on adults, let alone kids ffs



its insane, claim some kind of ultimate moral authority while hitting children

Let's be clear. Practically no parent will accept another adult laying a finger on their kid. A lot of adults who think it's ok as long as it is parents hitting their kids as long as it isn't excessive ( a standard that varies a lot) and because there is an expectation the parent will over time teach the child why X was a problem that merited punishment.(which under scrutiny rarely works out like this imo)

The only reasonable argument is that punishment of this form sets boundaries which is technically correct but studies do indicate this form has negative effects they haven't taken the time to understand.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,896
Nevermind. People don’t get it unless they have to live it.

This thread isn’t a hill worth dying on. Sorry to anyone else that’s had to go through the assumption that you beat the hell out of your kids. Seen it too many times to take it as leisurely as some people are able to.

OP ain’t “wrong.” Tactless just comes to mind.

I’m so heated I can’t even quote posts correctly in this thread, lol. I gotta take a step back.
 

Riskbreaker

Member
Nov 1, 2017
1,272
I am not certain why you would posit this black assed topic on this white assed board, expecting honesty and discussion when it's going to be all lives mattered like every post posited to black people here but there you go.

People who don't beat their kids or don't even have kids will shout down those who do, no discussion will be made, and no questions will be answered that you didn't already know the answer to.

The answer is tied to our something like 89% Christianity rate. You are welcome.

Hey, why not make a thread on black Republicans again. That will really get their goat.
 
Reminder about our ToS

Morrigan

Armoring
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
12,578
Re-opening.

Reminder from the FAQ:

Official Staff Communication
Do not attempt to rationalize violence against children, disciplinary or otherwise. Advocating for or defending any kind of child abuse is not tolerated. Your own upbringing is not relevant to this policy.
 

abellwillring

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,268
Austin, TX
In the US at least, it seems mostly tied to Christianity and the teachings of the Bible. I would imagine that most black people were raised going to church so that is probably why it feels really common among black people to you. I'm white but was definitely raised by being slapped, spanked with a belt/hangers, mouth being washed out with soap, etc. because my parents were super religious back in the day. There were 4 boys in my family and actually none of us have kids (despite me being the baby at 36) and I wonder if there is any correlation. Probably just a coincidence.
 

Wood Man

Member
Oct 30, 2017
3,410
I have the wildest memory of being awoken to a beating. I was being spanked for sleepwalking.

My step-dad liked to ritualize the spankings when he wasn't doing them in a blind rage. Make me go fetch the brush he liked to hit me with. Make me pull down my pants and panties. Make me tell him why he was doing it before he'd start hitting. Make me apologize for making him do it afterwards. That was only when he wasn't doing it in a blind rage though.

I don't spank my kid.
I'm a kinda similar situation as you. My dad made me get his belt but instead of targeting my bottom he would aim for my thighs since he realized it hurt more. Then he'd play the victim saying I made him do it. Often it was over stupid stuff like accidentally breaking something or he'd make up a dumb excuse because he was drunk and wanted to hit someone. After he sobered up the next day he would realize he was being an asshole to his son and buy me a chocolate bar to "make up."

I don't spank my child either. Never ever will I hit her.
 

Static Shock

Coward
Oct 27, 2017
4,422
Florida
I'll just say, it's really sad if you think spanking is some magic parenting tool used to solve problems. It's not. It can cause way more problems long term than you think. It's unnecessary and cruel and is used by parents with little to no emotional control and/or are unequipped at setting boundaries and explaining consequences for a child's negative actions and consistently acting on it. Kid's who you deem "uncontrollable", won't be "fixed" from spanking and don't deserve it (stop saying that). If you think that you are letting emotion control your judgment and not thinking of that child and do not care about that child. Kid's like that need way more work and their parents need to be better trained.
 

Travaughn

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,471
Sometimes your children need to be physically disciplined, regardless of what some people here may say. I'm not talking about beating your child or taking pleasure in hurting them, but sometimes children do not respond to words or creative types of punishments, like depriving them of things they like. Some will only respond to physical discipline.
 

mbpm

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,467
Sometimes your children need to be physically disciplined, regardless of what some people here may say. I'm not talking about beating your child or taking pleasure in hurting them, but sometimes children do not respond to words or creative types of punishments, like depriving them off things they like. Some will only respond to physical discipline.
In this thread, you'll have to be more specific than that.

Physical discipline how? Make 'em do push ups?
 

Ramala

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,639
White and English. My parents spanked me or slapped but only in the moment of being caught doing something I clearly knew I shouldn’t be. Or immediate aftermath. Never premeditated. And never an actual beating. I don’t have kids but would hope I would never do that.
 

Calamari41

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,107
Sometimes your children need to be physically disciplined, regardless of what some people here may say. I'm not talking about beating your child or taking pleasure in hurting them, but sometimes children do not respond to words or creative types of punishments, like depriving them of things they like. Some will only respond to physical discipline.
Yeah you're right, for example sometimes I make my son do chores as a form of discipline.

That's what you're talking about, right?

(Sorry Static Shock, accidentally quoted you first by mistake)
 

Dreams-Visions

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
17,122
Miami, FL
I definitely got spanked. Hands, belts, switches off trees. They were only good for teaching the importance of improving my own secrecy, discretion, sneakiness. Spankings don’t teach; actually quite the opposite. They simply fear leveraged to force compliance. Forced compliance is necessary for the protection of children from time to time obviously, but spankings don’t address core issues, ever. Stop doing it if you are and learn to be a better communicator and less of a sociopath.
 

inguef

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
12,720
Maybe we should stop calling it 'spanking' - it seems to be a strategic word that some use to make the act seem less horrific.
 
Dec 5, 2018
1,630
Sometimes your children need to be physically disciplined, regardless of what some people here may say. I'm not talking about beating your child or taking pleasure in hurting them, but sometimes children do not respond to words or creative types of punishments, like depriving them of things they like. Some will only respond to physical discipline.
Stop trying to find excuses for child abuse.
 

Travaughn

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,471
User Banned (2 Weeks): Ignoring Staff Post and Excusing Child Abuse
In this thread, you'll have to be more specific than that.

Physical discipline how? Make 'em do push ups?
I think it depends on the age. I wouldn't discipline a 7 year old in the same way I would a 15 year old. I wouldn't classify using a belt on an older kid as abuse, so long as there's a justifiable reason, and it's something that they been warned against previously, and the parent isn't going overboard. But that's just me, and I believe based on these types of threads in the past I'll be in the minority.
 

Burrman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,767
All the people I know who are close with there parents still today are people who have never been beaten. Sure most people love there parents whether they were beaten or not, but the best parent/child relationships I see are people who weren’t raised like that. I feel you grow to fear them instead of turning to them for help when you get older and need some support. That’s just my observation
 

Riskbreaker

Member
Nov 1, 2017
1,272
Sometimes your children need to be physically disciplined, regardless of what some people here may say. I'm not talking about beating your child or taking pleasure in hurting them, but sometimes children do not respond to words or creative types of punishments, like depriving them of things they like. Some will only respond to physical discipline.
Gonna get yourself banned, dude.

Not worth it based on the mod edit.
 

Travaughn

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,471
Stop trying to find excuses for child abuse.
I love how some people here intentionally try to paint people with different opinions from theirs as monsters. No one's advocating for child abuse, but I think you're being a little unrealistic and naive if think every child will respond to simply being spoken to or receiving some type of alternative punishment.

Did some of you guys not go to school? I knew kids who tried to fight teachers in class or would curse teachers out because the teachers would reprimand them for being disruptive. Yup, talking to them will do a lot of good.
 

Soph

Member
Oct 25, 2017
808
My dad sometimes threatened to hit me, I told him I'd fucking kill him.

He never ended up hitting me