There is a seismic difference between relishing in the sex appeal of a male character versus that of a female character. This is a huge topic, but here are the bullet points. I'm going to speak primarily from a male point of view as I am male.
-Male characters are not traditionally designed with sex appeal first at the expense of logical design or meaningful personality the way female characters are. A hot male character is an exception, not a pattern, and the hotness of male characters is not elevated as the most important aspect of their identities.
-Women in the real world are impacted by institutional sexism and misogyny based heavily on their sexuality and sexual viability in a way men are not and never have.
-Women routinely suffer degradation and humiliation by men who marginalize them on the basis of their sexuality in a way men do not.
-Gaming is a historically male dominated space where women have been made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable in a way men never have and are not.
-Men, in general, are undersexualized and homophobia discourages men from complimenting and appreciating each other for their attractiveness. Many men do not feel like they can be beautiful, which hurts their self-esteem, and gives them an unhealthy relationship with sex and their bodies. This is routinely reinforced in media. (Example: The Male Body, Seinfeld)
-Not to exclude the women here, but this is largely a conversation a bunch of men are having about another man. Even if every single one of us were gay, the gender ratio is not disproportionate in a way that men's opinions or feelings are being disregarded because the POV you are seeing is overwhelmingly male. This would not be the case if this thread was about Jill. If this thread was about Jill, a room full of men would be thirsting over a woman and the actual female POV would be diminished and excluded. This prioritizes how hot a cartoon character is over the thoughts and feelings of actual women.
-Men have a control and autonomy over their own bodies that women simply do not. Their reproductive health is not at risk or out of their control. Sex is almost always safe for men. It is not always safe for women. So it's super uncomfortable for women to be subjected to a bombardment of sexualization by men who, historically and socially, don't allow them equal rights. Carlos and Jill are video game characters but the men and women in the room are not.
In short: Women live in a world where harmful sexualization and degradation of their bodies is an inescapable nightmare. Men simply do not.
Men sexualizing women contributes to a dangerous and disrespectful environment where women are alienated and embarrassed. It contributes to a status quo that one of the major purposes of feminism is to reduce and eradicate. However, encouraging men to appreciate each other and express fondness for each other's bodies facilitates inter-male expressiveness openness that helps reduce homophobic stigmas.
It's completely fine if you think comments about hotness are weird. I am sorry if they make you uncomfortable and it's cool if you think they're unnecessary. But comments that say "I like that Carlos is hot" and "I think that Jill is hot" don't exist in a vacuum. The context around them and the consequences of them are not comparable. Sorry if you didn't need the essay. :O
