Why do people lie about their height so much?

wandering

flâneur
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
1,794
Discrimination against shorter men on dating apps is among the most disgusting things I see every week. It’s insane that anyone thinks that height has a causal relationship with financial success or sexual prowess.
Tbh, I think there’s actually a positive correlation between height and financial success; not because of an intrinsic value to height but because taller people tend to be treated better and promoted more. It’s what makes the politics of attractiveness complicated; it turns out the consequences extend beyond dating.
 
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Spenny

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,185
Los Angeles
You grew four inches after turning 21?
As far as I know, yes. I based my height off of my older cousin who claimed to be exactly six feet tall. Though maybe the other guy was right and I was 6’2”. At that point (19) I hadn’t been to a doctor to measure my actual height in a couple years (yay American health care and a deadbeat mom). My younger brother did the same thing too. He hit 20 at 6’3” and then in the last two years passed me up to be 6’6”. I think we’re just late ass bloomers as we didn’t even get noticeable facial hair until we hit our early 20s.
 

molnizzle

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
10,291
I'm 6'4 so I've never really thought about it. Guess I've got tall privilege
6'3" here, always coasted on height. Pretty sure my height is the only reason my wife agreed to date me.

There are some drawbacks at this height on airplanes and such, and life was slightly more rough for me in the Army where everything is made for the average 5'10" soldier. Overall though, 6'3" has been perfect. Tall enough to be "tall" but without most of the struggle of the 6"8" and above guys. Though buying clothes is still difficult.
 

Octodad

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,350
6’2

Didn’t think about it much growing up, but I basically hit my height in 7th grade and stopped. It was fine, except everyone constantly asked if I played basketball.

My wife is 5’1. It’s probably a bit easier to be a short woman because of the weird cultural stereotypes, but she gets her share of comments too about her height.
 

Delphine

Baby, Pink is my favourite part
Moderator
Mar 30, 2018
2,380
France
You can't really fault anyone for what they're attracted to; it's especially fruitless to try to model what their reasoning may be, because there's no "reasoning" to begin with.

While I do think part of attraction isn't something one can explain nor control, I also don't think that attraction lives in a vacuum, not at all. We are all subjected to certain beauty standards that are elevated through a different array of medias throughout our lives, since our birth to our death. It shapes and molds our taste, and pretending it doesn't isn't fair nor accurate in the slightest. What we like and are attracted to is a mixture of a ton of factors, some of them being internal, some of them being external, and I do think the external part plays a good part in the overall mix. Studying art history shows just as much how those standards of beauty have changed throughout centuries/millennia, and how much how attraction towards certain forms of beauty can be widely revered at one point in time, to then be completely shunned upon at another.
 
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LProtagonist

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
1,407
I’m 5’6” so there’s no real use in me lying anyway. But heightism feels like it’s the one issue that no one really cares about in terms of discrimination.
 

Delphine

Baby, Pink is my favourite part
Moderator
Mar 30, 2018
2,380
France
Tbh, I think there’s actually a positive correlation between height and financial success; not because of a intrinsic value to height but because taller people tend to be treated better and promoted more. It’s what makes the politics of attractiveness complicated; it turns out the consequences extend beyond dating.

I remember reading about that, and it apparently also factors in quite a bit in the professional world. Less opportunities to climb up professionally and get promoted, less opportunities to get raises as well. It is similar to people who are fat, for example. Except fat people also get discriminated medically to the point of mortality, but that's another topic.

But yeah, fitting the beauty standards of the time you live in, is one heck of a privilege, that's for sure.
 

absolutbro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,526
Because like many physical traits, people get shit on for things they can't control and not meeting "the expected".
 

O-Zips

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,521
I as a man I legitimately can't comprehend why women care so much
This. Somehow it became a masculinity/femininity thing, and it has been very common in my experience for women I know that seem perfectly reasonable to just casually drop at some point that they won't date a guy that's shorter than they are. I think I've met a guy or two at least who said they won't date a woman taller than they are either.

Boggles my mind. But once you get partner prospects involved like that, you'll get people lying, wearing lifts, etc. My wife is shorter than I am, but tall women can be hot too, so I'll never understand it.
 

Weltall Zero

Member
Oct 26, 2017
11,693
Madrid
While I do think part of attraction isn't something one can explain nor control, I also don't think that attraction lives in a vacuum, not at all. We are all subjected to certain beauty standards that are elevated through a different array of medias throughout our lives, since our birth to our deaths. It shapes and molds our taste, and pretending it doesn't isn't fair nor accurate in the slightest. What we like and are attracted to is a mixture of a ton of factors, some of them being internal, some of them being external, and I do think the external part plays a good part in the overall mix. Studying art history shows just as much how those standards of beauty have changed throughout centuries/millennia, and how much how attraction towards certain forms of beauty can be widely revered at one point in time, to then be completely shunned upon at another.
This is absolutely true, yet it's still pretty much falls into the "stuff you can't control" category. You can, to an extent, "teach" yourself to appreciate other kinds of beauty, but you start out conditioned by societal standards.

As an anecdote: if you ask men the kind of women they are attracted to, the almost universal answer is that they're into women that aren't as thin as the currently accepted / Hollywood pushed standard. So while there is indeed a lot of societal conditioning, it only goes so far.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,975
I'm 5'4 and anything 5'6 and higher is taller than me. I never understood why some women were so hell bent on 6ft being a thing but for me, I just generally find anything higher than me taller. Unfortunately my boyfriend is one inch taller than me and its like the biggest con, but he won't ever know that lmao!
 

papermoon

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,435
I’m 5’10 but I’ve seen guys claim 6ft that are not even 5 8. That’s not healthy at all.
5'8"? How do they get around meeting people? Just stay in the distance?
This is what I'm curious about too. I don't care about people's heights. With me, it doesn't come up much in conversation anyway. But height is such an obvious thing. If you lie about it, people can tell.

So, those who fib about their height, when you actually meet in person, you're asking people to play along with your lie or pretend they're incapable of acknowledging reality. Beyond the issue of height, that's what I'm tired of. People who blatantly lie, and then expect others to go along with their make-believe reality. Height seems like not a big deal - and it isn't - but this practice of socially-pressuring others to agree to a known lie. Isn't that the first step in indoctrination into a cult? (See Trump as an example)
 

DPT120

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,677
I'm 5'10'' and consider myself at a good height. I'm taller than all my friends though and they think I'm tall.
 

Soundscream

Member
Nov 2, 2017
3,338
Yeeeeah, needing a little more leg room is worse than reading or being told you aren't a real man cause some arbitrary height line you didn't pass due to no fault on your part.

This went from short people trying to explain why one might like about heigh to tall people in here and saying how life is a little inconvenient for them. This is always the issue with height threads.
Your height might not be your only issue. In no way was I putting you down or diminishing your experiences, only pointing out it's not all sunshine and gumdrops if you're over the magic number. The world isn't made for people over 6 feet. And as others have mentioned back, knee issues and clothing sizes can be a real issue
 

Spinky

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,441
London
At 5'8-ish, Twitter made me insecure as fuck about my height. I couldn't care less about it before, never even thought about it. Now I can't go a day without seeing some tweet that lets me know I'm worthless manlet scum that deserves to burn in the fires of hell for eternity. As a virgin.

Really could've done without it tbh, yet another reason why I need to get off that hellsite.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,122
Because they want to attract shallow people who aren't even attracted to them instead of somebody who might actually like them for who they are.
 

Sean

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,503
Longview
Barely 5'7 here, like a CM under, but it's never been a problem for me so far. Maybe just where I live or I make up for it elsewhere I guess. Ex's usually made it a point to say they liked my voice.

Never used dating apps though.
 

TeddieBear

Member
Sep 14, 2019
509
Because no one wants to date a top that’s 5’4” unless they’re “huge” (which seems to vary between bottoms). Taller guys just assume I’m a bottom because of my height.

A guy I dated asked me why I went out with him if I was a top. I told him I didn’t know and we hadn’t discussed sex in previous dates. He said it was obvious he was a top since he was taller than me...

I used to add an inch to my height when I was in my late teens/early 20’s, but I actually embrace being short now. More adorable that way 😁
 

Thunder11

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,167
1) Dating - it's a big deal and discrimination and filtering based on this number is rampant
2) You're a teenager / immature and want a leg up on your friends
3) You don't actually know your legit height / measured incorrectly
 

Ragnar

Member
Oct 28, 2017
473
Everyone knows what feet, inches, and centimeters are all about. Do a switcheroo and use percentiles. That way you'll tell people which percent of the population is shorter than you, without giving them a height measurement which can be misjudged because most people exaggerate, and doesn't actually mean anything in and of itself. The same works for penis size!

The problem is you actually have to know about statistics.
 

Yinyangfooey

Member
Oct 27, 2017
804
there's a point of diminishing returns. Most people are not EXTREMELY tall which is what I consider 6'5ish. But being a short person has detrimental effects not only in relationships these days, which is why so many lie about it, but google the numerous studies done that show that taller men are richer and more successful. Taller men in higher positions in a lot of corporations, demand more "executive presence" naturally, and so on and so forth. The perception of the taller male is that they are stronger, smarter, more confident, etc.

So yes being REALLY tall has discomfort implications but being short is a goddamn problem for a man in todays society in just about every aspect other than comfort. Also short slim dudes probably have an impossible time finding clothes as well.
I think this person is right on target. 6'1-6'4 seems to be the sweet spot for being tall but not TOO tall that it negatively affects your everyday life

I'm 5'6 and I hate it every time I have to note my height on more serious dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel. There's just simply no way around it, and I can't just lie about my height because otherwise when I meet up with matches in real life, they'll immediately notice a discrepancy. Even if I were given the option to omit it from my profile, doing so automatically sends a red flag saying "oh he's probably short"

Now I'm not saying that's the ONLY reason why I don't get as many matches as I'd like (read: ugly), but in all seriousness, I'd literally give up one of my kidneys to 8 inches off of you 6'10 folks who really don't need it. I'd like to have as many things in my favor as possible lol
 
Oct 25, 2017
12,200
User banned (1 month): sexism
Because women are fucking weird about it. On the other hand I don’t think men care one bit about the height of a woman.
 
Jun 10, 2018
2,163
5'5" guy speaking here. Never felt the need to lie about it, nor do I really think about it much.

Also helps I grew up with a mother who lived by the mantra "Boy don't nobody care about you!". You hear that everyday throughout your childhood and its hard not to grow up without giving any fucks for others' opinions.
 

Doober

The Fallen
Jun 10, 2018
3,897
I think this person is right on target. 6'1-6'4 seems to be the sweet spot for being tall but not TOO tall that it negatively affects your everyday life

I'm 5'6 and I hate it every time I have to note my height on more serious dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel. There's just simply no way around it, and I can't just lie about my height because otherwise when I meet up with matches in real life, they'll immediately notice a discrepancy. Even if I were given the option to omit it from my profile, doing so automatically sends a red flag saying "oh he's probably short"

Now I'm not saying that's the ONLY reason why I don't get as many matches as I'd like (read: ugly), but in all seriousness, I'd literally give up one of my kidneys to 8 inches off of you 6'10 folks who really don't need it. I'd like to have as many things in my favor as possible lol
Hah, yeah add me to the list of guys who would happily trade a part or two for 6 more inches. Being tall may not necessarily be playing the game with god mode turned on, but it almost certainly is easy mode.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,323
lmao at all the 6'3 people being like: "being tall is a curse". Y'all haven't experienced shit. I'm 6'9 and outside of a youth spent dominating at basketball it hasn't really paid off. I literally can't sit in 90% of cars without having my knees like besides the steering wheel looking like I'm driving a clown car. Can't sit straight in trains, airplanes, trams, or any other vehicle. I look ridiculous holding 90% of regular people sized shit, can't play stratocasters in public because the shits look like ukekeleles so I'm always using some huge hollowbody thing that looks like it's normal size for me. And I haven't even talked about buying shoes or clothes but I need to buy 90% of my shit at a specialist store at a significant markup so I'm not constantly running around in something that looks like an exposed belly button tanktop or like my basement has flooded.

You haven't experienced living in a world where everything was designed for the midgets that surround you. Fucking chairs with toothpick legs and seating heights below 50 cm, hospital scanners that literally can't fit your legs, being at or close to the weight limit for most things despite not being overweight, struggling with skateboarding because of a high center of gravity and tiny ass skateboards, every single cooking surface being at or below crotch height so it's easier to fuck my food than cook it. Ergonomic chairs that literally don't have the adjustment range required for you to be able to sit ergonomically, Having to bend down to pass through doors etc... Trust me when I say y'all don't know this pain.
Preach!

The most dreaded of all: Intercontinental flight of 10 hours. Pay 200 € extra to not have to fold in your chair and still be uncomfortable! This is discrimination!
 

Rory

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,829
There is no difference between 1,65 or 1,68. In fact those 3 cm are what you lose thanks to gravity through the day, so who fucking cares?
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
17,018
Because people hold prejudice against short men, that's why men lie about it.

I'm about 5'8 so it's not really an issue for me, but in high school one of my best friends was 5'3 and he got soooooo much shit, from other guys, from girls, from people's parents and teachers. It's fucked.
 
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____

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,942
Miami, FL
I tell people I'm 5'10" and they think I'm taller. The reason why, is because I actually AM taller, but only by a bit. Thing is, most people see me in shoes, so I'm definitely 5'11" when they see me.

I don't want to say 5'11" because I don't think I'm that, and if I am, then just barely, and I don't feel comfortable saying 5'10.5" or 5'10" and a half.
 

SugarDave

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,365
I'm 5'6 and never gave much thought to my height growing up. I still don't but I did once have a coworker at an old job tell me she would consider me perfect boyfriend material if only I was taller. Seeing the manlet memes manifest irl just made me laugh.

Things got better when another coworker chimed in with some of the worst damage control I've ever witnessed, claiming it's all about wanting strong genes for your children. She went full eugenics baby, just throw me in the fucking camps!
 
Nov 17, 2017
8,916
Some people just want to ride rollercoasters, OP! Let them live.

Joking aside, I'm not at all surprised a lot of people lie about their height having been on dating apps. So many women on there demanding guys be over 6 feet tall. I'm 6'1" but I'd imagine if you were 5'10", saying you were two inches taller than you actually were just to have a chance at dating wouldn't be such a bad idea.
 

Desi

Member
Oct 30, 2017
455
Being tall also has benefits in the business world as well. There is research that measures pay, promotions, and trust dealing with height.

I'm black and 5'5 so throw me in the garbage. Only have Kevin Hart, Kat Williams, and Mugsy Bogues to look up to.
 

astro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
24,006
I'm about half a centimetre from 6 foot, so I round up if talking in feet. Makes more sense than rounding down here...
 

Futureman

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,538
I'm kind of confused on the premise of this thread. Where is OP encountering people constantly lying about their height? I can't say how tall people are comes up often, and even if it did, unless it was wildly obvious, I probably wouldn't know they were lying.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
17,018
Some people just want to ride rollercoasters, OP! Let them live.

Joking aside, I'm not at all surprised a lot of people lie about their height having been on dating apps. So many women on there demanding guys be over 6 feet tall. I'm 6'1" but I'd imagine if you were 5'10", saying you were two inches taller than you actually were just to have a chance at dating wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Most of the people putting "6'0 or above" in their profile probably can't tell the difference, at least immediately, between 5'10 and 6'0. So it makes sense that someone who is 5'10 or 5'11 would just say they are 6'0.

If you are 5'9 or below you probably aren't getting away with that, but the problem is the arbitrary and discriminatory standard which encourages the deception. Same goes for bigger women 'using filters and angles' or whatever misogynists complain about. They are doing that because otherwise they get instant rejection, ridicule, or hatred for something superficial.
 
Dec 22, 2017
3,697
I am 5’11” and people acted amazed when I tell them that because of every 5’8” dude claiming they are. I might as well say 6 feet but don’t care enough to round up.
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,978
In dating apps it makes total sense. If you're 5'10" or 5'11", I think you'll do better if you list yourself at 6'. It's stupid and vain, but people use dating apps as a shopping catalog and it's like TV manufacturers calling something HDR even if the nits or contrast ratio aren't high enough or something for it to be "True HDR," or w/e.

I'm a little over 6'3", but my wife will regularly refer to me as 6'4" even though I usually say I'm 6'3". She's probably overcompensating for my baby dick.



This being a thing is why
the best part of this for me is they have no idea what the shorthand for inches & feet is.

I would like to hear the experiences tall women have too.
My sister is 6'1" and aside from being a good basketball player in high school, she's always hated it and felt very self-conscious about her height, always. She was very sensitive about it in high school because she'd always be taller than her prom dates, etc., and she's still self-conscious about it but hides it a little more ... I know it's something that bothers her when it comes up casually, but she compensates by being aggressive about other people's demensions. She's just masking insecurity with that though. She's much more comfortable because her husband is ~6'5" or 6'6", but still never wears heels and struggles to shop at "normal" stores.
 
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Dec 22, 2017
3,697
Because women are fucking weird about it. On the other hand I don’t think men care one bit about the height of a woman.
Yeah women are weird. Men only care about weight, breast size, ass shape, waist ratio, face, hair, foot size, nose size, eye color, eye size, lip shape, skin tone, in-shape but not too muscular, shape of vagina, length of labia, nipple size, and amount of body hair - but at least any height is fine!