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Why do People use Virginity as an Insult?

OfficerRaichu15

OfficerRaichu15

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,315
Nashville
This is a question that I have noticed recently, but why do people paint virginity as a negative? I notice people use it to significantly downplay another individual and I just don't get it. Anyone know why?

For Example,
As some of you know I am in high school. One guy literally asked me if I was a virgin( I am not); however, he asked another dude who wasn't and made fun of him.

Why does society install this idea that not having sex ever makes you a loser?

Edit: Changed to better represent my question and message.
 
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Klean

Banned
Nov 3, 2017
641
Well , if you're over 30 and a virgin you probably have some social issues which isn't really desirable.
 
Chekhonte

Chekhonte

User banned for use of an alt-account
Banned
Oct 31, 2017
1,886
It's perceived as a threat to one's masculinity. It's the replacement for calling somebody a fag which used to be the perceived emasculating insult of choice. We're primates and when we're teens we're hell bent on seeing out place in the idiot male pecking order. Part of that is tearing other people down.
 
Darknight

Darknight

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,798
OfficerRaichu15 said:
This is a question that I have noticed recently, but why do people paint virginity as a negative? I notice people use it to significantly downplay another individual and I just don't get it. Anyone know why?

For Example,
As some of you know I am in high school. One guy literally asked me if I was a virgin(and luckily for me I am not); however, he asked another dude who wasn't and made fun of him.

Why does society install this idea that not having sex ever makes you a loser?
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It's pretty simple. It's the assumption that the reason you haven't is because there's something odd, weird, or bad about you that had prevented you from having it. In other words, there's something wrong with you.
 
SageShinigami

SageShinigami

Member
Oct 27, 2017
30,458
At your age there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. But this thread is very quickly going to fill up with people who'll say past a certain age there's an issue with you.
 
Havok

Havok

Member
Oct 27, 2017
558
Northern VA
We can find ways to turn literally anything into an insult. If you're a virgin and I'm not, then I hate you because you're different.

But the virginity one specifically is just something like, if you haven't had sex, it's because you're such a loser that no girl would ever want to touch you. It couldn't possibly be for any other reason. And now I feel better about myself because I can rank myself above you in this thing.
 
YourMaster

YourMaster

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
74
Because sex is what drives us as a species, it what are lives and our societies revolve around. The assumption behind the insult is that everybody wants to, or should want to have sex, and the people unable to do so fail in what's most important in life.
That being said, practically all adult humans have sex, and as such it is mostly an insult for and by near-adults around the age where they'll first become sexually active. Kids of all ages will insult other kids by pointing out behaviors they have just outgrown themselves. Whether it is 'pooping yourself', 'running to mama', or 'not having sexual intercourse'.

Luckily for you, you're a big boy.
 
Helel

Helel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
393
Probably because people use it to imply you're so undesirable that no one will have sex with you.

OfficerRaichu15 said:
One guy literally asked me if I was a virgin(and luckily for me I am not); however, he asked another dude who wasn't and made fun of him.
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I also find it interesting that you describe yourself as lucky to not be a virgin. You're kind of propagating the very thing you're asking by implying you'd be unlucky to be a virgin.

Unless you just meant luckily you aren't so you didn't get made fun of.
 
Foffy

Foffy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
16,377
Klean said:
Well , if you're over 30 and a virgin you probably have some social issues which isn't really desirable.
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This gets us into the absurdity of what "losing virginity" is, too. What's canon? Next to age, people call into question the "realness" of sexual experience.

If it's phallic penetration, lesbians need props. There are people around the age of senior citizens who argue that sex with a condom isn't "real sex".

Human beings are fuckin' weird with their ascribed ideas.
 

Deleted member 2229

User requested account closure
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,740
Because theyre saying that youre undesirable which is why no one has slept with you. Its a bit different for women though as AFAIK women don't really get made fun of for being virgins or at least arent seen as undesirable for it, more prudeish maybe.
 
OP
OP
OfficerRaichu15

OfficerRaichu15

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,315
Nashville
Helel said:
Probably because people use it to imply you're so undesirable that no one will have sex with you.



I also find it interesting that you describe yourself as lucky to not be a virgin. You're kind of propagating the very thing you're asking by implying you'd be unlucky to be a virgin.
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I'm not saying being a virgin is bad, I'm just saying I'm lucky I'm not in the situation I said in OP and told him so he wouldn't ridicule me. I'm already going through shit? I talked to the guy he ridiculed after and told him that I'll go talk to the office about it.
 
Sordid Plebeian

Sordid Plebeian

Member
Oct 26, 2017
17,360
Having a sex life is a social norm that is perpetuated through many aspects of modern society, so if someone does not fit into that norm, it can be used to belittle.
 
Kevers

Kevers

The Fallen
Oct 29, 2017
14,538
Syracuse, NY
I guess because as a species we're meant to procreate and pass on our genes and some people use the inability to do that as a very easy way to mock them.
 
Gonzalez

Gonzalez

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,679
Foffy said:
This gets us into the absurdity of what "losing virginity" is, too. What's canon?

If it's phallic penetration, lesbians need props. There are people around the age of senior citizens who argue that sex with a condom isn't "real sex".

Human beings are fuckin' weird with their ascribed ideas.
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Semen has to enter the other persons body. That's all you need really to claim virginity lost.
 
JCHandsom

JCHandsom

Avenger
Nov 3, 2017
4,218
John Kowalski said:
Maybe they just don't want to have sex. Maybe they have intimacy problems. No good reason to insult anyone over any of it.
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This. Someone choosing not to have sex and being judged for it is similar to how some people judge others for not drinking alcohol or eating meat; it's read as "this is something I can do without" and that bugs some people for some reason.
 
Redneckerz

Redneckerz

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,972
Unknown Body, Proxima Centauri. 4th O.B.
Its literally the same styled of petty insult as ''You are gay'' or ''Your mom gay''. When you get older you will realize how dumb these insults sound, but when you are younger, you might take offence by them because hey, you don't want to be seen as a wuss, do you?

Being a virgin or not in later age is no reason for me to insult you on it because of it. Some people just want to stay virgin, others consider sex a special moment instead of just bucking around and thus only share it with people they love (Such as myself) others simply have no interest in sex.

There are many, many options why one is a virgin. To insult someone because of it, is childish. (And same goes for calling people gay and what not).
 
JCHandsom

JCHandsom

Avenger
Nov 3, 2017
4,218
Gonzalez said:
Semen has to enter the other persons body. That's all you need really to claim virginity lost.
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Wait so if someone finishes on someone's face that means it wasn't sex? Handjobs aren't sex? Using a condom is grounds for disqualification? What about cases where no semen is involved between, say, two lesbians?
 
Dekuman

Dekuman

Member
Oct 27, 2017
19,026
In society, having sex is a sign of emotional maturity. Of course we know it's not true, but 'getting some' is still a key virtue in almost every society
 

Deleted member 5549

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,198
as mentioned before, it's part of the toxic masculinity bullshit, that's dying out way too slow. back in the 90s you were mocked if you drank milk as a man. I hope it's not a thing anymore, right?

Gonzalez said:
Semen has to enter the other persons body. That's all you need really to claim virginity lost.
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so lesbians are forever virgins unless they buy semen on ebay?
 
MisterShine

MisterShine

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
306
The Cleve
The implication is that: you are so ugly you can't get anyone to want to have sex with you. Or, you are such an unlikeable/weird person that no one wants to have sex with you.

Essentially, you suck as a person.
 
Servbot24

Servbot24

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
43,060
I've had sex with 4 people and I still feel like a loser at 28 yrs. The weird expectations that society projects can really suck sometimes.
 
sibarraz

sibarraz

Prophet of Regret - One Winged Slayer
Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
18,094
You kinda answered yourself by saying that luckily you are not a virgin anymore
 
JCHandsom

JCHandsom

Avenger
Nov 3, 2017
4,218
I remember a scandal at BYU (which has a very strict Honor Code that prohibits premarital sex, among many other things) where some guy tried to argue that he didn't have sex with a girl because there was no back-and-forth motion.
 
incogneato

incogneato

Self Requested Ban
Member
Nov 8, 2017
1,119
theres nothing wrong with it but i find that most people that take issue with potty jabs like this tend to be insecure about their virginity

those that practice celibacy for real dont give a shit generally speaking
 
Gonzalez

Gonzalez

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,679
Servbot24 said:
I've had sex with 4 people and I still feel like a loser at 28 yrs. The weird expectations that society projects can really suck sometimes.
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The only time I feel like shit is when there is a dry spell that causes me to miss sex. But I don't feel shame, just my perverted desire to do the nasty.
 
Kyrios

Kyrios

Member
Oct 27, 2017
14,612
Toxic masculinity like others have said. Honestly the last time I've ever seen someone being made fun of for being a virgin was way back in high school. College and beyond didn't seem to give a shit at all, or just automatically assumed you've done the deed, I guess. Probably just my experience/observations but I just haven't seen anyone ridiculed for that stuff outside of high school.
 
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