Why do some cisgender people hate the term cisgender?

[CaviarMeths]

Ok help me out here. If I never identify as cis when introducing myself (with the exception being in a cis/trans rights discussion), because how I got to be my gender is none of your business and I don't care how you got to be your gender, am I being transphobic?

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Yes, but not maliciously so.

The problem is the same inherent in the phrase "I don't see colour." You're not being inclusive or welcoming of PoC when you say that. You're just telling them not to rock the boat. Discouraging them from talking about social issues. When you tell trans people that you don't care about their gender, you may think you're being more welcoming than your garden variety transphobe, you're really not. You're telling them to shush. Saying that your (cis) gender is none of anyone's business is coming from a place of privilege. It's easy to say that you don't care about gender identity when your identity hasn't been demonized for centuries.

I don't think you're a transphobe, but it's easy for well-meaning people to exhibit behavior that is transphobic in nature. It's worth reflecting on.

 

[Palette Swap]

Outside theoretical discussions and social issues, I'd avoid using it for persons,

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I don’t believe anyone does that, so crisis averted.

 

[Cenauru]

It's infuriating going through the last few pages and seeing SO many people that can't even comply with a simple descriptor that equalizes trans and non-gender conforming people with cis people, instead of cis people as the "Normal" and "Default" people. Making up all kinds of excuses and nearly going down the "cis is a slur" route by calling it a "label" that they don't want. Yet people have no problem with talking about their gender or sexuality, or the myriad of self-descriptors we use all the time that are considered very normal.

And then calling out this behavior, and calling out people saying "labels are bad" or "It's not a good word" that have no other proposed solutions, is seen as us attacking cis people and using cis in a "derogatory" way.

 

[Kolya]

Yes, but not maliciously so.

The problem is the same inherent in the phrase "I don't see colour." You're not being inclusive or welcoming of PoC when you say that. You're just telling them not to rock the boat. Discouraging them from talking about social issues. When you tell trans people that you don't care about their gender, you may think you're being more welcoming than your garden variety transphobe, you're really not. You're telling them to shush. Saying that your (cis) gender is none of anyone's business is coming from a place of privilege. It's easy to say that you don't care about gender identity when your identity hasn't been demonized for centuries.

I don't think you're a transphobe, but it's easy for well-meaning people to exhibit behavior that is transphobic in nature. It's worth reflecting on.

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So much this.

 

[Chucat]

personally i think some of the pushback comes from "cis" being an uncommon root word.

the latin root word means "on the same side of" -- in regular use its weird and i think the only common word is "scissors" which still has an s at the front, so its not immediately apparent "cis" is part of that word. Cistern is also another odd word that isn't used very much and means a tank for storing water.

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I mean it's literally the antonym of trans, it's been around for 2500 years or something.

Cisalpine Gaul means Gaul on this (our Roman) side of the Alps.
Transalpine Gaul means Gaul on the other side of the Alps.

I mean you're only going to know about the cis- (prior to a few years ago) is if you were some sort of Ancient History meganerd, or a Chemistry meganerd because I guess cis people were fine with 'normal' or something. I dunno, I'm not a gender studies meganerd.

Like unless you want to invent a time machine and go back in time so there's a different Latin word used instead of trans, or go EVEN further back in time and change Cisalpine to something else, you're gonna be stuck with these, and I'm sure you'd rather use your time machine for something more fun.

Scissor comes from scindere which is "to split" in Latin.
And apparently cistern comes from cista which means box in Latin (which then became cisterna which was a water box).

Basically language is weird so try not to lose any sleep about how people come up with words otherwise you're gonna have a meltdown over something like "Selfie".

 

[davepoobond]

I mean it's literally the antonym of trans.

Cisalpine Gaul means Gaul on this (our Roman) side of the Alps.
Transalpine Gaul means Gaul on the other side of the Alps.

Like unless you want to invent a time machine and go back in time so there's a different Latin word used instead of trans, or go EVEN further back in time and change Cisalpine to something else, you're gonna be stuck with these, and I'm sure you'd rather use your time machine for something more fun.

Scissor comes from scindere which is "to split" in Latin.
And apparently cistern comes from cista which means box in Latin (which then became cisterna which was a water box).

Basically language is weird so try not to lose any sleep about how people come up with words otherwise you're gonna have a meltdown over something like "Selfie".

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you know you're just basically just saying what i said. people have an aversion to words they dont recognize.

im sure we all hated the word "selfie" for about 5 years before we started using it without disdain

 

[flook]

Yes, but not maliciously so.

The problem is the same inherent in the phrase "I don't see colour." You're not being inclusive or welcoming of PoC when you say that. You're just telling them not to rock the boat. Discouraging them from talking about social issues. When you tell trans people that you don't care about their gender, you may think you're being more welcoming than your garden variety transphobe, you're really not. You're telling them to shush. Saying that your (cis) gender is none of anyone's business is coming from a place of privilege. It's easy to say that you don't care about gender identity when your identity hasn't been demonized for centuries.

I don't think you're a transphobe, but it's easy for well-meaning people to exhibit behavior that is transphobic in nature. It's worth reflecting on.

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Thank you.

So do I need to identify as cis in order not to be transphobic? I'm not trying to be disingenuous here - I would truly like to understand.

As an aside I have never said "I don't see colour/sexuality/religion" or anything of that nature to anyone. Its not really the person I am.

 

[Uncivilized Elk]

im sure we all hated the word "selfie" for about 5 years before we started using it without disdain

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Wait... Why are you sure of this?

 

[excelsiorlef]

you know you're just basically just saying what i said. people have an aversion to words they dont recognize.

im sure we all hated the word "selfie" for about 5 years before we started using it without disdain

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Cis has been around for going close to 30 years... and 14 years in prominence... so waiting any time now

 

[Moff]

gender is probably the most important part of our identity, arguably more so than ethnicity and sexual orientation

people will react alienated when their identity is suddenly something they never heard before

I assume it was similar with heterosexual, so I hope the term cisgender will be just as normalized in the future

 

[davepoobond]

Wait... Why are you sure of this?

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Official Music Video by The Chainsmokers - #SELFIE#Chainsmokers #SELFIE #vevo #electronic #vevoofficial

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[Poodlestrike]

While the topic is in theory acceptable, the quality of discussion has been quite bad, so we've elected to lock the thread. We will also be reviewing posts and handing out bans to those that fail to meet our guidelines.

Just to make it clear: there is nothing at all sus about the term. It's a simple descriptor. If being "labeled" in this way makes you uncomfortable, it's time for some self reflection about why that is.