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Why isn't Gravey a Squeeze Bottle Condiment?

T002 Tyrant

T002 Tyrant

Member
Nov 8, 2018
8,973
I was watching The Friend's episode The One With Ross' Sandwich and when he mentions the moistmaker (gravey soaked bread) I was wondering why gravey or some kind of gravey flavoured condiment has been created?

Having some kind of gravey or gravey style condiment in a squeeze bottle to create a 'moistmaker' on any sandwich without having to make it from scratch.
 
mikhailguy

mikhailguy

Banned
Jun 20, 2019
1,967
room temperature or cold gravy doesn't sound pleasant. animal stock also tends to go bad quickly, so it would need a ton of preservatives.
 
The Albatross

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
39,038
After thanksgiving this year, leave your gravy out over night. Observe in the morning what happens to it.
 
Z-Beat

Z-Beat

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
31,849
Because you don't eat gravy cold and if you heat it up in the microwave it'll bubble and then absorb into the food.
 
nded

nded

Member
Nov 14, 2017
10,576
Probably worried about it spoiling in an open bottle and most folks aren't into cold gravy. They do sell gravy in jars and cans though.
 
The Albatross

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
39,038
bionic77 said:
Doesn't it turn into christmas presents?

I was going to leave it out and see if it turned into a PS5. I think thats my best chance of getting one by next friday...
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As Ye Olde Albatross Family Christmas Carol Goes:

Leave a dish of gravy
at the foot of your bed
In hopes that St. Nick
Will taste and be fed

"Mmmm, giblets and cream
What a yule time delight!
Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a Good Night!"
 
FaceHugger

FaceHugger

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
13,949
USA
This is a really good question.

Why isn't it? Thinking about it it makes me mad it's not. We should have squeeze bottle gravy.

I mean for real ya'll.
 
Cyanity

Cyanity

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,345
Good gravy shouldn't be homogenous. Squeeze bottles don't go well with little solid bits
 
bionic77

bionic77

Member
Oct 25, 2017
30,894
mikhailguy said:
room temperature or cold gravy doesn't sound pleasant. animal stock also tends to go bad quickly, so it would need a ton of preservatives.
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This is the correct answer.

If you could buy it at the grocery store it would just be brown ketchup or something really bastardized.

You can't package and sell the real shit. It would go nasty real quick.

Man up and make your own gravy which you can then put in a squeeze bottle, on your bread or anywhere else you feel it belongs.
 
LinkStrikesBack

LinkStrikesBack

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,364
bionic77 said:
This is the correct answer.

If you could buy it at the grocery store it would just be brown ketchup or something really bastardized.

You can't package and sell the real shit. It would go nasty real quick.

Man up and make your own gravy which you can then put in a squeeze bottle, on your bread or anywhere else you feel it belongs.
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Do Americans not have gravy granules? It's not exactly the same as directly from meat cooked juices, but it's close enough. I know you weirdos don't believe in Kettles, but with one, it takes only a couple of minutes to make a lot of gravy.
 
bionic77

bionic77

Member
Oct 25, 2017
30,894
LinkStrikesBack said:
Do Americans not have gravy granules? It's not exactly the same as directly from meat cooked juices, but it's close enough. I know you weirdos don't believe in Kettles, but with one, it takes only a couple of minutes to make a lot of gravy.
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There is stuff like that. And you can get Knorr stock pots and some other shit too that helps you make up something quick. A lot of it is pretty good too I agree.

But nothin in a bottle or as a condiment like the OP is asking.
 
Tobor

Tobor

Member
Oct 25, 2017
28,492
Richmond, VA
Gravy has been sold in jars and cans forever. It's not sold in squeeze bottles because it has to be heated.

The more important question is why OP spells gravy with an "e" in there.
 
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LinkStrikesBack

LinkStrikesBack

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,364
Ensorcell said:
Yes, but it's not called granules. That would be silly.
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chicken-gravy-granules-J5JFGD.jpg


Are the kind of things I'm talking about, not specifically stock cubes or whatever. They're more like a powder until you add water to them, hence granules. What do Americans call them instead?
They're much better for what OP is asking for (using for dipping/spreading on bread) than stock cubes, but maybe I'm just being too British right now.
 
Replicant

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
Gravy is made from the fat of the animal you are eating. It would not have a shelf life
 
Ensorcell

Ensorcell

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,458
LinkStrikesBack said:
chicken-gravy-granules-J5JFGD.jpg


Are the kind of things I'm talking about, not specifically stock cubes or whatever. They're more like a powder until you add water to them, hence granules. What do Americans call them instead?
They're much better for what OP is asking for (using for dipping/spreading on bread) than stock cubes, but maybe I'm just being too British right now.
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You wouldn´t typically find it in granulated form. Just powder.
 
AyaisMUsikWhore

AyaisMUsikWhore

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,736
Hmmm, never thought about it but now I'm interested in trying it. Rather than ladle or pour over, maybe squeeze? Hmm yeah, I'm gonna try this. Why can't gravy be considered a condiment?
 
Exellus

Exellus

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
2,348
You can buy sausage gravy canned at the market....and then put it in a squeeze bottle.

Try it.
 
Jakten

Jakten

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,767
Devil World, Toronto
US gravy or regular gravy? Because US gravy would be disgusting. I don't trust regular gravy would keep very long before becoming sludgey or separated and preservatives would probably ruin the flavour. It would be nice to have though, especially for fries.
 
Prinz Eugn

Prinz Eugn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,393
LinkStrikesBack said:
chicken-gravy-granules-J5JFGD.jpg


Are the kind of things I'm talking about, not specifically stock cubes or whatever. They're more like a powder until you add water to them, hence granules. What do Americans call them instead?
They're much better for what OP is asking for (using for dipping/spreading on bread) than stock cubes, but maybe I'm just being too British right now.
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Huh, as an American I would call those granules. Our instant gravy material just comes in powdered form as far as I know (we do have stock cubes though).
 
MrT

MrT

Member
Oct 27, 2017
347
Mainly because as others have mentioned gravy is best warm/hot, but also I don't know about anyone else but I tend to have a quite a lot of gravy when I do have it, so the bottles would have to be huuuuge.
 
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