Discussion in 'EtcetEra' started by hydrophilic attack, Nov 6, 2018.
T'was my way of saying I'm Canadian, post I was replying to was also a wrestling reference
I get this kind of thing as a man from both women and gay guys, and I find it irritating and off putting 100% of the time.
Don't do it. If you're going to approach a stranger, just do it with the intention of having a brief chat and nothing else.
Question: If women ITT have had success with their husbands/bfs with cold-ball-striking, are there any Gay Eranians who can chime in if they followed the same protocol or if it was something slightly different?
This seems relevant to this thread
To the women of era, what's the difference between a guy trying a cold approach, and a guy just having a casual conversation with a stranger? I get that it's different depending on where you live, but where I live it sometimes feels impossible to go out and not talk to a couple people. People have brought up public vs social spaces, but they're kind of the same thing here.
I've never gone up to a random girl or guy with the intention of dating them, but if I'm bored and less antisocial than usual, I'll go talk to people to pass the time. Other than someone being overly persistent or upfront/overt about wanting to date you, what's the difference?
A guy who asks if I have a boyfriend as an opener.
A guy who has some friends off to the side who are (silently) cheering him on.
A wingman who makes it obvious he's a wingman.
A guy who walks up with a drink (intending to give me one).
A guy who is physically blocking me in some way.
I don't trust these types.
Casual conversation is more like, waiting in a queue and commenting about things that tend to some up in normal small talk. Or you know, anything that isn't talking about me.
this "if a woman isn't interested i'll just move on!!" shit shows how little y'all understand. when you're a woman and some rando approaches you, it never is as easy as "sorry i'm not interested". you never know if he'll back down. you never know if he'll stop bothering you. honestly? you never know if you won't get raped and killed. and that might seem like an exaggeration, but the point is that it happens often enough that it's always a possibility in our heads. you men really don't understand how much energy we put in interacting with you in such a way that it'll minimize the probability that we'll get raped.
to you, the situation might look like "i approached a woman, she said she wasn't interested and i just moved on, it's all good". to her, the picture is a lot different.
Still can't believe someone made that BS equivalence.
This is sort of the corollary to why I don't want to encourage a sort of "well, it's OK if you're, fucking, I dunno, Idris Elba" attitude to this. Plenty of superficially charming abusive assholes out there (not to imply anything about the character of Idris Elba in particular, mind, who for all I know is actually a cool guy in real life), and it's also not like attractiveness is an immutable or universal quality rather than being a very subjective decision.
To give you an example, when I was on campus, the first week I didn't have internet in my dorm room. So I had to use my phone to go watch the latest episodes of Boruto. Which meant leaving my dorm room and finding a spot on campus that had a good signal. When I was there, a guy approached me and started conversation with me. Ostensibly, the topic was about Boruto, Naruto, and Anime, but everything he said came around to being about him or me. Like that it was cool that I liked Boruto/Naruto/Anime for example, what my favorite kinds of anime were, and such. Eventually, he dropped all pretenses and made it clear he wanted to be friends, and that he'd like to talk again in the future. Thankfully, I was able to imply without much issue that I had a boyfriend already, and he didn't seem like the kind of person who would react negatively (he was fairly soft spoken and civil, unlike a lot of men who try this approach), but the situation still left me feeling a little bit creeped out.
I get pretty on edge immediately. A couple of people that abused me started by doing that.
Actually there's a French film by Eleanore Pourriat all about that kind of alternative world, I Am Not An Easy Man.
1. these guides and videos are generally addressed to lonely guys without much of a social circle so they likely don't have many friends, whether male or female (but especially not female) to consult
2. these people are trying to upsell their readers all the time. the free blog posts and videos are there to sell you on their newsletter, on their e-book, on their personal coaching courses. to get people to part with their money, they're making a hard sale predicated on the fact that they have unique knowledge that you can get nowhere else. "don't listen to your friends. especially don't listen to your girl friends. they don't know the secret paths into the pants of hotties and cuties everywhere" that only this particular dating coach/guru/sensei knows
3. the "systems", "game plans" and "strategies" that these people sell are built on a foundation of misogyny. and the incel-types that are the intended target audience also tend to have misogynistic views. as such, it is easy to sell the idea that "women don't really know what they want". as such, they say, you shouldn't listen to what women say they want, how they say they want to be approached, because those silly irrational females really can't be expected to think straight about what they actually want. as such, one shouldn't listen to what one's female friends say. one should only listen to the secret alpha knowledge of the dating coach/master/mentor/shaman to learn the mystical inner workings of the female
4. when people who have bought into these ideas get confronted with contradictory evidence, the sunken cost fallacy kicks in. if you observe that the methods don't work for you, you just haven't fully understood them yet and/or just need to work harder and harass even more women. if women tell you to stop and at length explain how your behaviour is toxic and damaging, then maybe you'll feel bad for awhile, but chances are in the end you'll go back to thinking that eventually the methods will give you success, so then does it really matter if a few eggs are crushed along the way? after all, once you realize that you've been following junk advice for so long, you'll have to confront the fact all that time, energy and money spent was wasted, and you won't get them back .you'll have to confront the fact that when you thought you were being "courageous" and "alpha", you were actually just being a creep all that time. and that can be quite a difficult thing to take in!
A friend played a minor role in it too.
You've made some posts in here that show that you kind of get it but this, this is just a bit much dude. Women not wanting to be harassed aren't pawns for your little feud against The West.
#blessed this thread is still going
Like let's not pretend that Russia, the middle East, India, China or South America is a heaven for women either.
"The basic biological differences between Men and Women" have never been all that cut-and-dry either. I'm usually wary of where statements like that wind up going ideologically
Looks like a cool flick. Will have to check it out! Thanks.