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sayuuna

Member
Sep 6, 2018
548
臺灣 「 臺北市 」
In regards to the OP I can admit where I went to school, "cold-approaching" is not an abnormal thing and I have done so a few times towards the end of my tenure. Every girl responded positively and did not always require me to ask for a number. Got a few dates out of it. However I suppose the quality of women was different; truly, I would not attempt such at home. Only here do ideals surrounding "harrassment" take any ground, and I am smarter than one who would aggravate that. I think it is about knowing who you are around, is all.
 

Famassu

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,186
In regards to the OP I can admit where I went to school, "cold-approaching" is not an abnormal thing and I have done so a few times towards the end of my tenure. Every girl responded positively and did not always require me to ask for a number. Got a few dates out of it. However I suppose the quality of women was different; truly, I would not attempt such at home. Only here do ideals surrounding "harrassment" take any ground, and I am smarter than one who would aggravate that. I think it is about knowing who you are around, is all.
Something like a university is a bit different than picking up random women on the streets, if that's what you're talking about. Not that you should be aggressive in your pursuits of women in a school setting either but they are these combinations of shittons of young people cramped up into the same facilities, those facilities being as much about work/studying as they are about socializing with people, a lot of them being single and actively looking for a partner and there being a lot of opportunities to engage with your preferred sex somewhat spontaneously, so there's a bit more room for date-searching/flirting.

Even then, I'd say don't go around chasing women who show no sign of wanting to interact with you. A lot of people are there to study and your horniness shouldn't come in the way of that. Up your flirt game, don't harass people previously oblivious to your existence with out of the blue number begging and maybe try to save all that to more casual gatherings instead of trying to make flirty eye contact with everyone at the campus cafes.
 
Dec 2, 2017
1,544
In regards to the OP I can admit where I went to school, "cold-approaching" is not an abnormal thing and I have done so a few times towards the end of my tenure. Every girl responded positively and did not always require me to ask for a number. Got a few dates out of it. However I suppose the quality of women was different; truly, I would not attempt such at home. Only here do ideals surrounding "harrassment" take any ground, and I am smarter than one who would aggravate that. I think it is about knowing who you are around, is all.

You really can't make this shit up.
 

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,598
here
Dogs can sniff whatever they want ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
hd5tu7yaanty.gif
 

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
I don't mind it when (gay)men try to do this. Most of the times it's so obvious what they want. But no one can force me to give them my number ar anything. And most of the times a "not interested, I have a boyfriend" or just a "not interested" is more than enough to get rid of their thirsty ass.

But I don't mind the small talk. And I usually talk back. Until they want more...
 
OP
OP
hydrophilic attack
Oct 25, 2017
21,441
Sweden
I don't mind it when (gay)men try to do this. Most of the times it's so obvious what they want. But no one can force me to give them my number ar anything. And most of the times a "not interested, I have a boyfriend" or just a "not interested" is more than enough to get rid of their thirsty ass.

But I don't mind the small talk. And I usually talk back. Until they want more...
what about when they give you €10000 out of the blue
 

Piston

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,155
As a guy, I don't know if I have ever cold approached someone in my 25 years when I wasn't at a bar and even then it is pretty rare. I'm more comfortable with being introduced to others and having some sort of mutual friend or acquaintance connection as a touchstone.

The closest experience I have to this is walking my roommate's dog and meeting other dog walkers and having other people stop you to pet/talk about the dog.

I also HATE IT when people start talking to me when I clearly have headphones on. I am open to conversation if I don't have them on, I am not open for conversation if I do have them on.
 
Oct 25, 2017
26,560


While acted, I thought it was cute that the guy and girl in this video recognized each others N7 clothing, smiled at each other and then kept going on their way.
 
Oct 25, 2017
26,560
Im calling the police!

Jokes aside, I met gf of 4 years via a cold approach. It went something like this.

*bumps into her on accident

Me: "I am so sorry!"

Her: 'It's ok"

Me: Notices her One Punch shirt. "I love One Punch, super cool!!

Her: "really?"

Rest is history.
That's not really a cold approach unless you bumped into her on purpose. But good for you.
 

sayuuna

Member
Sep 6, 2018
548
臺灣 「 臺北市 」
Something like a university is a bit different than picking up random women on the streets, if that's what you're talking about. Not that you should be aggressive in your pursuits of women in a school setting either but they are these combinations of shittons of young people cramped up into the same facilities, those facilities being as much about work/studying as they are about socializing with people, a lot of them being single and actively looking for a partner and there being a lot of opportunities to engage with your preferred sex somewhat spontaneously, so there's a bit more room for date-searching/flirting.

Even then, I'd say don't go around chasing women who show no sign of wanting to interact with you. A lot of people are there to study and your horniness shouldn't come in the way of that. Up your flirt game, don't harass people previously oblivious to your existence with out of the blue number begging and maybe try to save all that to more casual gatherings instead of trying to make flirty eye contact with everyone at the campus cafes.

I agree, but I think every Uni is different, like, attempting such at a southern party school would have a different impact than say a rural northeastern institution. With that said, (and I do not think it is my location that defines such) people are aware of what is aggressive versus courteous; for instance, my girl friends would tell me what I have done is much more mild in nature than what they experience. Also, for me its more like a science if you will. With some, I could tell by their mannerisms that a "cold-approach" would do fine (with results) but for others, I would catch her gaze when and wherever I can, or her mine, or days on end, and after a few weeks close the case. I guess life has just went my way, the way I see it someone could just tell you they are busy, which does not seem like a bad thing.

But yeah, obviously if a girl were not even slightly interested just walk away. There is no denying that.
 

Deleted member 41271

User requested account closure
Banned
Mar 21, 2018
2,258
However I suppose the quality of women was different

I was about to write a parody of the most whiny, sexist dude with the biggest, overblown ego, to illustrate how silly that stance is, but here your post is, outdoing even my parody. Well done for that parody, needed a good laugh.

(to be fair, it's better for a dude to write this kind of thing anyway, you won't be accused of being anti-male for it)
 

sayuuna

Member
Sep 6, 2018
548
臺灣 「 臺北市 」
I was about to write a parody of the most whiny, sexist dude with the biggest, overblown ego, to illustrate how silly that stance is, but here your post is, outdoing even my parody. Well done for that parody, needed a good laugh.

(to be fair, it's better for a dude to write this kind of thing anyway, you won't be accused of being anti-male for it)

Lol okay. I was just explaining myself how I see things. There is such thing as low quality men too ~
 

vertigo

Member
Aug 25, 2018
865
Brooklyn
why did i come back to this thread 34 pages cant b good
like yall dont gotta think long and hard about it like its a science LMFAO DEad. men r soooo extra when it comes to approaching women. yall rly out here staring @ women for days until you find an opportunity. and yall wonder why u dont get pussy..... just dont be a creep its not hard. and back off if shes not into it
 

Barrel Cannon

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
9,290
If you've been making eyes and friendly glances at each other, it's no longer a cold approach.
haha, I just came to the realization that I misunderstood the whole title of this thread. I made assumptions based on the thread before about what the word meant, but your post made me google it and then subsequently cringe.
 

kaytee

Member
Oct 28, 2017
440
USA
The way some men talk about talking to women is so gross. Like an actual nature documentary.

I don't like that I feel the need to put headphones in or keep my expression stony in public just to ward off annoying men. It doesn't come natural to me and I have to work to keep it up.
 

Tuorom

Member
Oct 30, 2017
10,902
Im calling the police!

Jokes aside, I met gf of 4 years via a cold approach. It went something like this.

*bumps into her on accident

Me: "I am so sorry!"

Her: 'It's ok"

Me: Notices her One Punch shirt. "I love One Punch, super cool!!

Her: "really?"

Rest is history.

That's not a cold approach. That came about organically.

Men still coming into this thread and trying to give their two-cents without regard for the answer that has already been given multiple times, smdh.
 

Tuorom

Member
Oct 30, 2017
10,902
Also, for me its more like a science if you will. With some, I could tell by their mannerisms that a "cold-approach" would do fine (with results) but for others, I would catch her gaze when and wherever I can, or her mine, or days on end, and after a few weeks close the case.

First of all, that's fucked up that you just stalk women.

Second of all, no. This thread makes it abundantly clear that men do not know what women think, and frankly do not care to know. You don't know "by look", that is bullshit.

As you have been told (if you had bothered to read the women's responses), women do not like being cold approached.

Unless you think they are lying to you and you know what women think much better than actual women. Which is of course bullshit, but whatever makes you sleep better at night.
 

Sunster

The Fallen
Oct 5, 2018
10,009
This thread is trash. Women all came through and answered the question in the OP and basically had their answers declined. Then 34 pages happened.
 
Oct 27, 2017
5,247
It's kind of weird, my fiancee and I was at the gym today, working out at different places. She was doing some squats, and lo and behold a dude tried the "cold approach" with her, walking over to her criticizing her form. I've seen this dude multiple times at the gym, and I never seen him criticize/compliment anyone other than young attractive women. So freaking douchey.
 

sayuuna

Member
Sep 6, 2018
548
臺灣 「 臺北市 」
What do you mean by "low quality"?

I mean, women who do not have the type of mannerisms that I am used to in a courting context. This is obviously coming from me having my own experience, tastes, and perspectives on life and relationships, so it is no surprise another individual would take it with a grain of salt. Maybe it isn't the right word for what I'm trying to describe? Idk.

First of all, that's fucked up that you just stalk women.

Second of all, no. This thread makes it abundantly clear that men do not know what women think, and frankly do not care to know. You don't know "by look", that is bullshit.

As you have been told (if you had bothered to read the women's responses), women do not like being cold approached.

Unless you think they are lying to you and you know what women think much better than actual women. Which is of course bullshit, but whatever makes you sleep better at night.

Okay I can't have conversations with people quick to anger.

We don't know what each other is thinking obviously. But I'm not immature enough to not notice when a girl tries to deliberately catch my attention. Nothing else. This thread is its own thing for me and as I understand how some posters feel (as I have friends who tell me the same things), in my personal experience I have not had any related issues doing so, nor have the women (who reciprocated such attention in their own, separate way outside of my approach) I have dated/talked to.
 

Tuorom

Member
Oct 30, 2017
10,902
Okay I can't have conversations with people quick to anger.

We don't know what each other is thinking obviously. But I'm not immature enough to not notice when a girl tries to deliberately catch my attention. Nothing else. This thread is its own thing for me and as I understand how some posters feel (as I have friends who tell me the same things), in my personal experience I have not had any related issues doing so, nor have the women (who reciprocated such attention in their own, separate way outside of my approach) I have dated/talked to.

You still aren't empathizing with women, this thread isn't about you. Dude this isn't an argument to be won. This thread is about men cold approaching women, and women have said they don't like it.

Why can you not accept it as the answer?
 

sayuuna

Member
Sep 6, 2018
548
臺灣 「 臺北市 」
You still aren't empathizing with women, this thread isn't about you. Dude this isn't an argument to be won. This thread is about men cold approaching women, and women have said they don't like it.

Why can you not accept it as the answer?

Wait, am I fighting you? All right I'm not a woman I suppose I should not have answered then. I saw some guys did since the question derailed so I just waltzed I guess//

All I said was I've had my share of going up to someone and it hasn't been a problem. Whether that's a "cold-approach" or not is based on the fact I have (and I hate to repeat myself) there have been motions by those very women (things like intentionally bumping into me and giving me a look, etc.) that prompted it so I dunno... But I've made sure to say on the side it's just me and I'm probably just lucky in this regard. Maybe it's an (American?) thing, idk where I am from and frequent to this kind of argumentation isn't common so forgive me for not understanding

I can accept anything haha I'm not mad just tell me what.
 

Barrel Cannon

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
9,290
That's not a cold approach. That came about organically.

Men still coming into this thread and trying to give their two-cents without regard for the answer that has already been given multiple times, smdh.

I too came and gave my 2 cents earlier but based on a total misunderstanding of what the topic actually entailed despite reading many posts in the thread

I think part of it is that most people including myself don't/didn't have an understanding of what cold approaching is. I had the same idea as some other users until I googled it today. Sure that's an issue on our part for not googling the term before hand, but I honestly figured based on the title that it was just a combination of words to describe approaching someone.
 

kaytee

Member
Oct 28, 2017
440
USA
Well, I'm currently at work. And about ten minutes ago I was minding my own business doing my job when a man walked up to me, said "excuse me. I just wanted to tell you you're really pretty" and slinked away. So that's just great.

I can understand how a lot of the guys on this forum would hypothetically find that appealing, but I'm currently hiding in the back room until he leaves.
 

Xaszatm

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,903
Well, I'm currently at work. And about ten minutes ago I was minding my own business doing my job when a man walked up to me, said "excuse me. I just wanted to tell you you're really pretty" and slinked away. So that's just great.

I can understand how a lot of the guys on this forum would hypothetically find that appealing, but I'm currently hiding in the back room until he leaves.
:( That's awful.
 

kaytee

Member
Oct 28, 2017
440
USA

I wish that was the worst, but it's tame for this job.

I work in a library, which is basically home base of the creeps. I was just on break with a female coworker who is also in her 20s and we were talking about how bad it got over the summer. She had an old man (she estimated in his 80s) follow her around, pretend to go for a handshake and then kiss her hand (I've gotten this too), tell her she reminded him of the girlfriend he had in his 20s who died of breast cancer, tell her he loved her, ask what she thought people would think if they saw them together (she told him they'd probably think she was with her grandpa), and asked her out. She also felt cornered once while she was shelving and gave "help me" eyes to our male assistant manager who then came over and saved her. Later, this old creep went up and told the assistant manager he hoped my coworker wasn't in trouble for talking to him. She said she was nice to him because she kept thinking "this guy is gonna kill me" (she laughed while telling me this, but I think a lot of us in this thread have had this worry before) and eventually got him to leave her alone by saying she had a boyfriend. Remember, he is OLD.

We have another old guy who comes in and constantly hits on every single woman who works here. He's old enough that when he's bothering me, I can walk away at a normal speed and he isn't able to keep up.

We talked about how we do a quick sweep of one of the isolated sections in the back of the library to see if any guys who've harassed us are back there, because they can corner us easily while we're shelving there. It happened to me a lot when I started working here. One man who'd spoken to me a few times (complimenting my wardrobe, giving me a weird love note thing) once came up to me back there and lifted his whole shirt up to expose his stomach. I was in shock and didn't react and I still don't fully understand what that one was about. I used to get a serious shot of adrenaline and fear when he walked in and spend my whole shift trying to avoid him. I was so happy when he stopped showing up.

It really struck me while we were talking about this that we'd both suffered in silence about it. So we decided we'd tell each other about anyone harassing each other in the future so we can help each other out. We shouldn't have to worry about it, though. All of the women here make sure we leave together at night and see each other back to our cars.

Also, don't harass women while they're working.
 

HyperFerret

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,140
One time a dude was harassing me so I farted really loudly. It worked. I shouldn't gave to do that, but eh.

I'm really sorry the creeps were all over you kaytee :(
 

Driggonny

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,170
Can't believe this thread is still going. I was gonna bemoan it but kinda seems like this could turn into a place for testimonials :p

I just wish the guys in here could learn to care how these kinds of things make women feel. People want to think random unsolicited comments are nice but they fail to realize how having that happen out of nowhere (which is almost always automatically creepy) over and over and over and over and over from any and all kinds of men could put women on edge and not be appreciated at all. It's like you're being stared at and visually judged at all times and can't just... exist.