This could become a general support thread for all work issue-related concerns, from interpersonal problems, management problems, project management strategies, or just general advice. Either way, here's my current situation, and I'd love your advice:
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I have an awesome job. I'm really happy overall with it. Generally fantastic people, awesome, inspiring work, fulfilling stuff.
My immediate supervisor, a director, is really tough to work with. This person is totally anomalous compared to everyone else I'm working with. Everyone's an A+, super-positive contributor who's extremely happy with my work. The one person in charge of me who basically holds my fate appears to constantly be annoyed by me, and visibly unhappy with some of my work habits (on entirely subjective levels, in my opinion, but that's all that really matters when it's your boss...). What's crazy is, I was poached personally by this boss, who I'd worked with before. They wanted me. And all written reviews from this boss and their boss (my department executive) have been overwhelmingly positive. Like "so glad you're on the team! You're doing fantastic!"
It's such a bizarre back-and-forth, and frankly, it's throwing me for a total loop. I'm getting really demoralized and distracted because I don't know where I stand. I don't know if I'm reading too much into the everyday, stressed behavior of my boss, or if that's the real truth and the written accolades are just niceties that are all bullshit.
Here's the real meat of my ask to you all, though:
My first 1-on-1 'review' is coming soon. It's a great chance for feedback, open/honest discussion, etc., about me, the role (it's a brand new role that didn't exist before), and suggestions for overall improvement.
I think I need to be 'constructively' honest, and treat this as a chance to give my boss feedback too, instead of just receiving it. For the past two months, without exception, my suggestions, comments and input in any meeting (whether 1-on-1 or as part of a larger group) are derided, interrupted, or outright dismissed before I'm finished. It's causing me to second guess everything and lose confidence. I think I really need to speak up against this, and suggest that in order to develop professionally, I need to be unafraid to speak my mind more often where I have valuable insight on a project (and frankly, I know I have more than my boss on a lot, either by virtue of subject matter expertise in a sub-area of our business, or because I'm more connected to our stakeholders by the very nature of my role). I can't be put down at every turn. It's frankly doing harm to not just me, but the quality of our projects. I'm concerned about how it portrays me to other stakeholders in meetings too. I'm no 1st year junior in my career anymore who can't speak unless spoken to, and it's demoralizing to be treated as such.
How in the world do I handle this all delicately and constructively in this meeting? If it helps, my boss is truly a good person deep down. They will probably be totally shocked that their behaviour has caused me to feel this way, and will probably feel terrible. I don't want to guilt; I want to just find a way to support them better and enhance our performance overall.
(I also know this isn't just me; I get asked all the time how I 'deal', since this behavior hits others too, just less so since I'm the only direct report)
/ramble
TL;DR: I find myself a bit disrespected by my boss, who's a great person otherwise. I'm interrupted, cut off, and get my suggestions put down at every turn, despite having a ton of skill/experience. I need more trust, and need to figure out how to earn it. I think I need to be honest and bring up how this is all making me feel in a coming meeting. Good or terrible idea?
Thanks for your advice.
--
I have an awesome job. I'm really happy overall with it. Generally fantastic people, awesome, inspiring work, fulfilling stuff.
My immediate supervisor, a director, is really tough to work with. This person is totally anomalous compared to everyone else I'm working with. Everyone's an A+, super-positive contributor who's extremely happy with my work. The one person in charge of me who basically holds my fate appears to constantly be annoyed by me, and visibly unhappy with some of my work habits (on entirely subjective levels, in my opinion, but that's all that really matters when it's your boss...). What's crazy is, I was poached personally by this boss, who I'd worked with before. They wanted me. And all written reviews from this boss and their boss (my department executive) have been overwhelmingly positive. Like "so glad you're on the team! You're doing fantastic!"
It's such a bizarre back-and-forth, and frankly, it's throwing me for a total loop. I'm getting really demoralized and distracted because I don't know where I stand. I don't know if I'm reading too much into the everyday, stressed behavior of my boss, or if that's the real truth and the written accolades are just niceties that are all bullshit.
Here's the real meat of my ask to you all, though:
My first 1-on-1 'review' is coming soon. It's a great chance for feedback, open/honest discussion, etc., about me, the role (it's a brand new role that didn't exist before), and suggestions for overall improvement.
I think I need to be 'constructively' honest, and treat this as a chance to give my boss feedback too, instead of just receiving it. For the past two months, without exception, my suggestions, comments and input in any meeting (whether 1-on-1 or as part of a larger group) are derided, interrupted, or outright dismissed before I'm finished. It's causing me to second guess everything and lose confidence. I think I really need to speak up against this, and suggest that in order to develop professionally, I need to be unafraid to speak my mind more often where I have valuable insight on a project (and frankly, I know I have more than my boss on a lot, either by virtue of subject matter expertise in a sub-area of our business, or because I'm more connected to our stakeholders by the very nature of my role). I can't be put down at every turn. It's frankly doing harm to not just me, but the quality of our projects. I'm concerned about how it portrays me to other stakeholders in meetings too. I'm no 1st year junior in my career anymore who can't speak unless spoken to, and it's demoralizing to be treated as such.
How in the world do I handle this all delicately and constructively in this meeting? If it helps, my boss is truly a good person deep down. They will probably be totally shocked that their behaviour has caused me to feel this way, and will probably feel terrible. I don't want to guilt; I want to just find a way to support them better and enhance our performance overall.
(I also know this isn't just me; I get asked all the time how I 'deal', since this behavior hits others too, just less so since I'm the only direct report)
/ramble
TL;DR: I find myself a bit disrespected by my boss, who's a great person otherwise. I'm interrupted, cut off, and get my suggestions put down at every turn, despite having a ton of skill/experience. I need more trust, and need to figure out how to earn it. I think I need to be honest and bring up how this is all making me feel in a coming meeting. Good or terrible idea?
Thanks for your advice.
