I'm feeling really down in the dumps about BFA and specifically me as a player. I have to figure out what I can do to correct it.
It's probably all the excessive anxiety from COVID adding to my normal "performance anxiety" but I'm definitely in a dark place in regard to my abilities to do content and not ruin other people's experiences. The reason I run a heroic only guild is to give people who don't want hardcore experiences to have a place to play with like minded players but lately I've just felt like a complete burden and a 100% awful player/tank/guild leader. I feel like a failure. All the time. And the shittier part is that I like tanking. Raids, specifically, but I loathe M+ (a complete opposite of Legion) because every BFA dungeon sucks IMO and I hate how M+ is nothing but a jack off race to finish as quickly as possible to be viable content for the invitationals. I feel like I bring everyone in my group down and that I'm annoying as shit and people would rather I didn't sign on at all. I just wish I could "git gud" so to speak.
Sorry to unload my somewhat personal issues here. I don't really have anywhere to vent WoW concerns. Some of my guild mates are in this thread and I just need to point out that this isn't about any of them - it's all in me and my shortcomings. I'm just feeling so depressed about being a shitty player right now.
Aw dude -- I don't think we've even had a chance to play together once yet, and I know all of this can't be real. (not your feelings, but what you fear about your skill levels). Don't beat yourself up so much! But dude, I also totally hear you on how the COVID scenario is magnifying and amplifying other latent mental health stuff. My typical anxieties and depressive moodswings are twice the burden they used to be.
I'm damn near positive no one else in the guild thinks you're 'not up to par', and you've done such a great job of bringing several fun personalities and like-minded players together. Take pride in that!
Maybe the best thing is to take a short break from the game? Or play different kinds of content that isn't ultra-competitive and tough?
I also feel I'm not up to scratch sometimes in general, especially when DPSing. I never quite reach my theoretical raidbots/topgear dps that I'm supposed to be at for my gear. (I'm usually 5-15% lower) I still mop up in most groups though, and I'm happy with that.