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Oct 25, 2017
6,375
Got a phone call set up with an agent. Now I remember I hate talking on the phone. 💀

If you need someone to stand in for you, impersonate you and pitch a book to your agent they probably have no interest in, I have a voice that occasionally talks on phones. Just saying.

quick edit: I mean I'd pitch my own book instead, not saying anything bad about your book for the record! You've got this! Though maybe practice by calling someone like your folks or the one teacher that never believed in you.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
If you need someone to stand in for you, impersonate you and pitch a book to your agent they probably have no interest in, I have a voice that occasionally talks on phones. Just saying.

quick edit: I mean I'd pitch my own book instead, not saying anything bad about your book for the record! You've got this! Though maybe practice by calling someone like your folks or the one teacher that never believed in you.
you know, this made me have a thought.
I've been talking about my story for a long time in the writing discord.
I honestly wonder how much of a pitch you could do for it. My money is on you don't even really know what the premise of my story is lol.
You might remember that I have a character named Koko in it since I complain about her a lot.
and you might remember that it has something to do with a "big bad"
but I'm gonna guess not much else :P
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
Can you write a story without a title? without a theme?

I personally do this all the time, but not everyone is comfortable doing that. The last novel I sent off to my agent was called "The Isra Novel" the entire time I was writing it, just because that was the name of the main character, and I finally just hacked together SOMETHING I'm not happy with at all, just to say the book finally has a title. I'm 100% completely open to a publisher changing it. For my own writing, I don't have a particular attachment to titles. I know for some, the title is SUPER important, and can give some focus or direction to a book, but for me, the thinking has always been, "If I could have summed this up in 3-5 words, I would have. That's why it takes over 100,000 to tell this thing."

I'm also one of those writers that prefer to let the theme emerge from the story as its told, rather than have a theme at the start and write a story in/around it. But again, some writers would go absolutely nuts that way and need to have the structure/direction in place, rather than trust to a discovery process.
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,431
That's great! Always a big step when an agent asks for a phone call, good luck!
If you need someone to stand in for you, impersonate you and pitch a book to your agent they probably have no interest in, I have a voice that occasionally talks on phones. Just saying.

quick edit: I mean I'd pitch my own book instead, not saying anything bad about your book for the record! You've got this! Though maybe practice by calling someone like your folks or the one teacher that never believed in you.
Thanks!
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
Oh, I meant agents. My experience last time was you nudge with an offer and everyone just passes.

OHHHHH, you're at THAT stage. When you said the call went well, I thought you meant you liked what you heard, and you'd already signed.

I only notified agents that had actually asked for a full-request, I didn't bother with anyone that was just sitting at query-only. And I set a response time of two weeks, which was actually pretty generous, one week is usually standard, but it was summer and agents react much slower during that period. If any responded during that time with a partial/full request, I told them what was up and left it up to them, but most of them were just, "Well, good luck!" and didn't push it any further.
 
Oct 25, 2017
22,309
Did write 40K words in January, nice.

Still taking up the Quarter million word story in 2019 challenge, just to see if I can really do a story like that. 90% of the story is planned at least.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
In other news... I'm don't write for the Young Adult market, I'm firmly adult science fiction/fantasy and after reading this story... My God, what a dumpster fire that market is. I'm never, ever touching it.

The Latest YA Twitter Pile-On Forces A Rising Star To Self-Cancel

The world of young-adult fiction is no stranger to controversy, whether it's a weeks-long war against a problematic book or a whisper network accusing a badly behaved male author. But even against this backdrop of continually percolating dramas, the saga surrounding Amélie Wen Zhao's Blood Heir was unusually dramatic: a scattering of small, apparently disconnected fires started by persons unknown, all abruptly extinguished by the author herself yesterday when she called for her own book to be canceled.

There's even a story in the New York Times about it, the first time I've ever heard of a YA book cancellation actually getting that kind of traction.

I'm kind of stunned at all this. I actually remember this writer from the Absolute Write forums, when she was just plugging away at her novel, hoping others would like it, and then she got into the whirlwind dream scenario of being fought over by literary agents all trying to represent her, and then going to auction for her book, and then getting a three book deal worth over 500K... It's just insane to me that Twitter, of all things, turned into this giant roadblock that derailed her.

I'm just grateful now that I hang out in a corner of the writing world that doesn't seem to have this kind of online aggression. Nobody seems to care whether there's objectionable material or not in adult SFF.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
January update:
Word goal - met. I averaged 1.1k per day like I wanted so I can build up a buffer for nanowrimo
Secondary goal - failed horribly. I wanted to rewrite the first episode of my nano project. I got about 700 words of it done which is roughly 10% of it.
year long goal - failed horribly so far. One of my goals for this year is to improve my descriptions. I haven't made any progress on this at this point.

btw if anyone wants to join us in logging words
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...7MN6BfjyAw4ouC02ClpRI8GyY/edit#gid=1016278443
feb page.
 
Oct 25, 2017
22,309
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,431
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(
You say that's your voice. ;)
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(
Danielle Steel made a lot of money rehashing the same tropes over and over :P

The point being a lot of well known authors tend to stick to similar stories with similar tropes. It isn't necessarily a bad thing as a lot of times that is what a reader wants whether they want to admit it or not.

It happens with music all the time as well. I've lost track of how many times I've followed a band and their first few CDs were the same and a group started saying how they would love to have them do something else, and they do, and then every one shifts to wishing they would do more of what they were known for.

I don't personally think my stories feel all that similar to each other. I believe you even commented as much. That being said I might use some of the same tropes across things. I think a big thing is even in my main project I tend to change the sub genre... or that is what I'm calling it. Like... my story in general is an adventure story (with both fantasy and science fiction elements) but most of my books have a different secondary genre/theme going on. Especially some of the later books as book 4 is heavily designed to feel more like a mystery story, while 6 is designed to feel like psychological horror.

Even when I have characters with similar personalities I try to make sure they have quite different motivations. But I'm sure I fail with that sometimes :P
 

Xagarath

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,140
North-East England
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(
It's honestly difficult to think of successful authos who don't do this outside of literary fiction, and even there it's fairly common.
As long as you're not straight-up reusing entire plots and characters I wouldn't worry about it too much.
 

BorkBork

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,723
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(

It might actually be a strength to have a throughline go through all of your work, especially in a short story collection, as long as it's not too obvious. And since you're aware of it, you can even be playful with it.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
How do people writing like handle realizing that sometimes your writing is repetitive, like the same tropes across different stories, or is that not like a positive or a negative? Im just like am I a bad writer cause i keep writing and liking the same thing or am I just like trying to one up and improve myself using the same tropes.

Though I guess this is only cause I do occasional short stories :(

I think Randomly Generated is right. To a large degree, that's essentially your "voice." Whenever I read a Stephen King novel, I expect the word "apotheosis" to come up somewhere, because he always digs that word out. When I read a William Gibson novel, I expect to find somewhere in there some commentary on technology and consumerism because that's his pet theme, amongst many others.

Most people want "the same, but different." A distinctive but consistent voice, whether that's language, theme, recurring motifs, or what have you, is a part of that. Once you know what you do the same, see what you can do to make it different, or add some diversity to it.

Also, at some point, if you keep doing the same thing, you'll probably get sick of it yourself and want to do something different. But then other readers will ding you for that, and try to make you keep doing the same thing. So enjoy it while you can.
 

Chrome Hyena

Member
Oct 30, 2017
8,768
So any thoughts or opinions on Amazon's Kindle editing services? I want to have a professional hack it up and fix what needs to be fixed before I move on to the next stage.

I worry their editing services may be very... What's the word? Run of the mill? Compared to someone else? I was told once after all that a good way to judge an editor is how quickly they can get to you: if it's immediately you should pass on them.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
So any thoughts or opinions on Amazon's Kindle editing services? I want to have a professional hack it up and fix what needs to be fixed before I move on to the next stage.

I worry their editing services may be very... What's the word? Run of the mill? Compared to someone else? I was told once after all that a good way to judge an editor is how quickly they can get to you: if it's immediately you should pass on them.

I have no idea how Amazon's editing services are. To be fair, I had no idea until you mentioned it that this even existed. But I do know that there are plenty of freelance editors out there, and some are very good and will make your manuscript better, while others will be a total rip-off. You probably want to do a lot of research into this, and always keep in mind, the more reputable editors will need a bit more time to schedule you in, because they tend to get a lot of work. However, the best way to find out whether you like what an editor does is see if they offer free sample edits.

These days a lot of editors, in order to see if they can even work with you, will ask for a sample of your work, anywhere between five pages to an entire chapter, depending on length. They'll then do a sample edit, send that back to you, and you can look over the comments to see if you even agree with them or not, then make a decision based on that.
 
Oct 25, 2017
22,309
As long as you're not straight-up reusing entire plots and characters I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Fortunately I'm not doing that. Though I guess I do use the same characters but try to make them a bit different or change perspective. Plots are different.

It might actually be a strength to have a throughline go through all of your work, especially in a short story collection, as long as it's not too obvious. And since you're aware of it, you can even be playful with it.

Yeah I guess I can think of ways to be playful and change it up.

Most people want "the same, but different." A distinctive but consistent voice, whether that's language, theme, recurring motifs, or what have you, is a part of that. Once you know what you do the same, see what you can do to make it different, or add some diversity to it.

Thanks for all the advice. i think I like some reccurring motifs and themes. And will have to really spend a bit of time looking for ways to diversify things.
 
Oct 25, 2017
6,375
Taking the day to do some various writing stuffs, and a big thing I want to do is decide which short story to try and get into a professional quality. My problem is the stories I always choose end up being really weird, unpopular ones nobody but me likes cause I'm eccentric I guess. I'm gonna make an effort to try and be smart about what I put my time into but I don't know. Maybe I just like setting myself up for failure too much?
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
Taking the day to do some various writing stuffs, and a big thing I want to do is decide which short story to try and get into a professional quality. My problem is the stories I always choose end up being really weird, unpopular ones nobody but me likes cause I'm eccentric I guess. I'm gonna make an effort to try and be smart about what I put my time into but I don't know. Maybe I just like setting myself up for failure too much?
I feel like at the very least you should aim for some middle ground. If you are going to polish something into professional quality it should be something you are passionate about.

if you aren't passionate about things that can have mainstream appeal then just hope you can find someone who is passionate about what you love.

Just because you create something that likely won't be the next Harry Potter in terms of a fanbase doesn't mean that a quality work can't get you fans.

but perhaps that's just me. I would rather have stories I enjoy reading at the end instead of something that might sell that I don't really care about.
 

EdibleKnife

Member
Oct 29, 2017
7,723
Do you guys often run into stories you've been mulling over being achieved beyond your expectations in the media you consume? For example I've been mulling over a story for a while about
scans of humans living out a peaceful existence in an artificial environment while being carted to a new planet.

Funnily enough I've been playing the game SOMA and pretty much that exact story is presented in a clever and interesting way. It's always equal parts disheartening and inspiring. Disheartening because it feels like you've been beaten to the punch and inspiring because that very story did end up as something worth telling.
 

Speely

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
7,992
Up to about 11k words on a rough draft for a novel. It's garbage, but I need to see it through. I've had snow days off the past two days, so I've managed about 3 to 4k words a day. Gonna slow down now that I'm back to work, so...

I feel like 1k per evening on work nights is ok, yeah? Couple chapters a week or so. My chapters are landing at 3.2 to 4.3k words so far, and I've been enjoying getting one a day done, but that ain't gonna happen with work.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
Do you guys often run into stories you've been mulling over being achieved beyond your expectations in the media you consume?

To be fair, it's very difficult NOT to experience this if you range your interests far enough. Whatever plot you've thought of, there's probably a book, movie, comic, or even videogame plot that's tried tackling it, and maybe they've even succeeded. The only thing that you can do is try to put your own spin on it, and hope that your interpretation offers enough for others to find it worthwhile. Or, maybe, just hope that your version is the one a reader encounters first before seeing it in some other form. For a lot of people, Battlestar Galactica the 21st-century version, was their first BSG, not the original 70s iteration.

Up to about 11k words on a rough draft for a novel. It's garbage, but I need to see it through. I've had snow days off the past two days, so I've managed about 3 to 4k words a day. Gonna slow down now that I'm back to work, so...

We all have to do what we can within our own schedule. I find that even if I only managed to squeeze in a few hundred words for a day of writing, if it was a busy day, with real-world work responsibilities, or other obligations, I'll still consider that progress. Unless you're a fulltime novelist, any writing you get done in a day should be a victory.
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,431
I've been so focused on screenwriting that I think I've forgotten how to write books. I keep working on this outline and I think it's just procrastinating at this point.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
I've personally never been able to outline, but I think that speaks more about my inability to organize and plan ahead than any intuitive sense of storytelling.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
Really? I always outline for every novel I do now! In fact I'm outlining a novel right now as well!

I'm totally what they call a "Pantser" or "Pantster." I may have a few rough plot points ahead of time, the major events of a novel, but otherwise, I just sit down, write, and see what happens next. Outlining has never really worked out for me, but it's a fantastic way to keep a book organized for other writers.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
I've literally never outlined anything before and it's killing me, but I'm really trying to figure this out. I'm tired of super sloppy first drafts that make no sense.
In what way don't they make sense?

I mean my crappy writing aside I would say my story for the most part feels like it makes sense to me. I have found though taking notes about what is important after you finish a chapter can help a bit. Not only to remind you what is important later, but to cement things in your head so later you don't contradict them.
 

Xagarath

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,140
North-East England
I outline for some books and not for others. If it's a smaller, more-character driven story then I can get away with just rough notes, but anything more ambitious needs at least a structure before going in.
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,431
In what way don't they make sense?

I mean my crappy writing aside I would say my story for the most part feels like it makes sense to me. I have found though taking notes about what is important after you finish a chapter can help a bit. Not only to remind you what is important later, but to cement things in your head so later you don't contradict them.
Just... a lot of stuff. Motivations, character arcs, sometimes there are scenes that just sort of happen, sometimes characters just vanish or show up.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
Just... a lot of stuff. Motivations, character arcs, sometimes there are scenes that just sort of happen, sometimes characters just vanish or show up.
Motivations are hard in general. I started taking the time to make sure that any character I introduced with a name had details about their personality, and try to make sure they have a motivation, though I need to get better at listing them.

I feel like in general my character arcs make sense, but they are very gradual in my story. I also hate when people have a moment and drastically change so even though one of my characters had such a thing she's been fighting with what she wants to be, vs her nature for a while.

scenes that happen, well, happens. in my current draft I have some scenes that I have written out but that should belong somewhere else or removed. I usually realize these as I write (I think I haven't done a ton of editing) and note such things as that is what editing is for.

and yeah character's vanishing/showing up can be an issue. I somehow can usually keep track, but that doesn't change the fact that I wrote like a 5 chapter scene only to realize that at the start I had an extra character listed as coming with, and they didn't do anything during those 5 chapters because I forgot they came lol.

It was a simple enough fix though as they were meeting up with another group of people so I just removed them from the initial join and added them to the later one but still.
 
Oct 29, 2017
5,279
Minnesota
Oi, gotta run something by y'all.

So my book opens up with the main character in a bar telling a story about how she robbed some people. She's a pirate and the bar is a pirate bar, so it's all fun and games. The problem is, it's like, "hey here's some exposition!" because it's not an actual robbery, she's just telling the story. I can't decide if I hate this or find it inoffensive. It only goes on for maybe a page and a half because there's other shit to get to, but I like the opening of

She's in a bar. People are talking about her. She's in a good mood because it's story time.

So I largely want to keep that. Plus it introduces the whole "her crew and ship are tiny so they have to be creative when they rob people or they'll die."
 
OP
OP
weemadarthur

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,588
I have to be careful or people will just tell stories of things that happened instead of scenes consisting of actual happenings. But that's me, maybe you don't overdo the thought.
 

EdibleKnife

Member
Oct 29, 2017
7,723
Oi, gotta run something by y'all.

So my book opens up with the main character in a bar telling a story about how she robbed some people. She's a pirate and the bar is a pirate bar, so it's all fun and games. The problem is, it's like, "hey here's some exposition!" because it's not an actual robbery, she's just telling the story. I can't decide if I hate this or find it inoffensive. It only goes on for maybe a page and a half because there's other shit to get to, but I like the opening of

She's in a bar. People are talking about her. She's in a good mood because it's story time.

So I largely want to keep that. Plus it introduces the whole "her crew and ship are tiny so they have to be creative when they rob people or they'll die."
Why not make that chapter the actual event and then reveal for the reader that it was a jovial retelling in a bar at chapter's end or at the start of the next. Or start with her in the bar, the fellow patrons start their gossip about her and end with a kinda:" here's what happened..." lead into a new chapter that's a view of the actual event like I said before before cutting back to the bar.

Or are you imagining that the scene is about the retelling? Because that would be fine but the key would probably be interjections and asides from the fellow patrons to make it sound less like she's just holding an uninterrupted TED Talk in the bar. If it's just a few pages going with this might be the better route. Keep it about her presence and interactions with the other barflies to reveal her own personality quirks and mindsed while getting across the exposition.
 
Oct 29, 2017
5,279
Minnesota
She's not making up the story right? Why not make that chapter the actual event and then reveal for the reader that it was a jovial retelling in a bar at chapter's end or at the start of the next. Or start with her in the bar, the fellow patrons start their gossip about her and end with a kinda:" here's what happened..." lead into a new chapter that's a view of the actual event like I said before before cutting back to the bar.

Or are you imagining that the scene is about the retelling? Because that would be fine but the key would probably be interjections and asides from the fellow patrons to make it sound less like she's just holding an uninterrupted TED Talk in the bar.
I'ts more TED talky but I realize what I'm doing so i try and get it over really fast. In total it's about 400 words.
 

Xagarath

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,140
North-East England
Oi, gotta run something by y'all.

So my book opens up with the main character in a bar telling a story about how she robbed some people. She's a pirate and the bar is a pirate bar, so it's all fun and games. The problem is, it's like, "hey here's some exposition!" because it's not an actual robbery, she's just telling the story. I can't decide if I hate this or find it inoffensive. It only goes on for maybe a page and a half because there's other shit to get to, but I like the opening of

She's in a bar. People are talking about her. She's in a good mood because it's story time.

So I largely want to keep that. Plus it introduces the whole "her crew and ship are tiny so they have to be creative when they rob people or they'll die."
I think the 'show don't tell' rule is often overplayed - telling is fine as long as you do it properly.
That said, having it as an uninterrupted monologue is probably a mistake. I'd go with this :
Keep it about her presence and interactions with the other barflies to reveal her own personality quirks and mindsed while getting across the exposition.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
I think the 'show don't tell' rule is often overplayed - telling is fine as long as you do it properly.
That said, having it as an uninterrupted monologue is probably a mistake. I'd go with this :
I've found in general if you are going to do an uninterrupted monologue it's best to just outright do a flashback.
If you are doing a story, have people interrupt at logical points (usually every few sentences) to get some back and forth going, often asking questions to lead into the next part of the story. Show the characters are interested and wanting more.

But alas I'm far from an expert.
 

Shoeless

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,969
I would say that opening with a retelling in a bar can totally work, provided you WORK that retelling, and make it do more than just tell the story. This is especially important if it's how you're opening the story. You can use it to establish setting and character by making the retelling itself convey more than just a past event. Have other characters interject, have some characteristic of the bar keep cropping up, like fights in the background, make other characters react to the person who's retelling so readers get a sense who she is, and what these other people think of her.

So instead of "And this happened, blah, blah" for 400 words, you go:

"Okay, we just came back from an AMAZING heist and--"

"What, you mean the other heist wasn't amazing enough?"

"No, it was, but--"

"Oh, did this heist ACTUALLY happen? Because that would be pretty amazing."

"The other heist happened!"

"The other heist started. It didn't finish, and you lost half your crew, is this story any better? Do you actually make money this time?"

I mean, that's a super rough example, but by having other characters interject, and turning it into a "Cheers" style exchange of dialog between multiple characters, one character just trying to tell a story can get a lot of other work done with establishing character/setting, aside from just telling a crucial bit of backstory. It really all depends on what you're trying to accomplish.
 

Deleted member 4532

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,936
So I made the decision to scrap my draft on Valentine's Day. It was over 200 pages long but the story and the characters just weren't working out for me. I wasn't really proud of it.
I started a completely new draft with some of the same characters and better elements in my head. From here on out, I'm going to start outlining my work. I'm excited for this project though!
 
Oct 25, 2017
22,309
Best way to introduce 6-7 characters in quick succession but not make it a detailed and dull info dump.

Context, character was handed dossiers of the crew of the [foreign] ship he awoke on and told by his captor to learn about the crew so he can be useful.
 

zulux21

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,333
Best way to introduce 6-7 characters in quick succession but not make it a detailed and dull info dump.

Context, character was handed dossiers of the crew of the [foreign] ship he awoke on and told by his captor to learn about the crew so he can be useful.
introducing a number of new characters in a single scene is super hard to do. I never figured out a good way to do it, so I figured out a way to introduce them over time in my main story instead.

For your case my recommendation would be have the character get the dossiers, have them read the information at some point, but don't give any of the information to the reader. (aka have the main character read the information off screen) Have them just have knowledge about the people when they meet them later, perhaps having your main character think about some details that stood out to them from the dossiers if there is information you feel the reader needs to know.

someone else might have a better idea though.
 

Xagarath

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,140
North-East England
Best way to introduce 6-7 characters in quick succession but not make it a detailed and dull info dump.

Context, character was handed dossiers of the crew of the [foreign] ship he awoke on and told by his captor to learn about the crew so he can be useful.
Have each of them do something short but distinct, such as demonstrating their role in the crew or their defining personalty trait? Actions will probably stand out better in your reader's mind than a list of names or physical descriptions.

zulux21 's idea isn't bad either.
 

ODD

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,222
Last night I had my biggest frustration ever as a writer. There's this prize called "Prêmio Barco a Vapor" that offers a contract of 40k reais (something around 10k dollars), which is probably the biggest one of its kind here in Brazil. I spent weeks trying to come up with an idea for a book, and then I tried to polish it 'till the last few minutes. Then I went to their website to upload it and had to create a new account, which took me a few minutes. I tried to upload the file 3 or 4 minutes before midnight, just pressing a final button and that was it, except that it didn't worked. There was a "processing" message and a stupid captcha that were not working and took me these precious final minutes. I tried and tried, redo the captcha, press that stupid button again and again, but nada. Then came midnight. I tried to refresh the page and it was simply gone. 404, page could not be found. It simply vanished. Not a single extra minute. Gosh, all that work of weeks for nothing. I felt so angry and wanted to cry. I tried to distract myself for a few minutes with this forum and Reddit and Twitter so I could relax and then go to bed, and when I went to bed all I had was dark self blaming thoughts, thinking how I sabotage my own life and having suicidal thoughts. I'm not very religious (I actually believe in God but I'm not a fan of religions/churches) but I preyed and asked for some calm and self compassion, trying to get rid of "it was my fault" and "it's was not my fault" thoughts. It was hard to sleep, but here I am. It's a new day, I'm still feeling like shit and I just want to vent. :P