My own unused manuscript is 10k over the limit, so I know your pain!
I've got something else that might work if I can finish the last 3 chapters in time
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WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die, writing writer writes
- Thread starter weemadarthur
- Start date
- OT
My own unused manuscript is 10k over the limit, so I know your pain!
I've got something else that might work if I can finish the last 3 chapters in time
I'm on vacation next week so if anyone would like a critique of some of their work, I'm available. Feel free to PM me.
I was looking for a critic partner, but I should probably get my book finished first.
I had all these ideas on what I wanted to write in my mind, so I write down these ideas. And then I slack off so much I completely forget what or how I was going to write out my story. Now it seems I can't even type out a single sentence.
I'm a dumbo :( I need to stop being so lazy.
I'm a dumbo :( I need to stop being so lazy.
Era, I am finishing my book, editing and whatnot (Its my first one) but I wanted to check some things with you lovely people, in terms of insanity and concepts of the novel. I cant really send you excerpts of it because its written in Brazilian Portuguese (Unless we have some brazilians here too).
What you guys and gals think about the general concept of the novel: It has two points of view, one is two siblings (Brother and sister) who live in a cyberpunkish world with magic. They grew apart, but after decades managed to find each other, lived some adventures, and now they are kinda being blackmailed by a misterious "Contractor" of their past, who insists they watch a "Full Life Simulation" with VR glasses. This simulation is about a fairy tale princess, who is next in line to serve as a blood sacrifice so her world's sun doesnt die. The sun is fucked up because her ancestors killed all the gods (Who were kinda assholes.) At first, the brothers are kinda "Wtf are we watching", but the more they discover about this princess, more they see parallels between their world and hers, and that their world is in catastrophic danger.
The structure is mostly about the princess story, with some small chapters of the brothers commenting what the fuck is going on her world and theirs.
Am I already dead? I already wrote the damm thing, haha! (110k words of it.)
What you guys and gals think about the general concept of the novel: It has two points of view, one is two siblings (Brother and sister) who live in a cyberpunkish world with magic. They grew apart, but after decades managed to find each other, lived some adventures, and now they are kinda being blackmailed by a misterious "Contractor" of their past, who insists they watch a "Full Life Simulation" with VR glasses. This simulation is about a fairy tale princess, who is next in line to serve as a blood sacrifice so her world's sun doesnt die. The sun is fucked up because her ancestors killed all the gods (Who were kinda assholes.) At first, the brothers are kinda "Wtf are we watching", but the more they discover about this princess, more they see parallels between their world and hers, and that their world is in catastrophic danger.
The structure is mostly about the princess story, with some small chapters of the brothers commenting what the fuck is going on her world and theirs.
Am I already dead? I already wrote the damm thing, haha! (110k words of it.)
This really hinges on the motivation the "contractor" has for putting them through this. REALLY hinges on it. Consider that most cases of blackmail are for some simple objective like money, information, or a particular service. This is a very unusual use of blackmail. If there's some well thought-out reason why they need to do this, and specifically this, and there's no other way to achieve the same objective, it can work. Otherwise there needs to be some other purpose for putting the reader through this experience because the premise isn't going to carry itself. You're setting the reader's expectation that the princess story is important because these characters are watching it. The reader is going to want a good explanation for that, or this is basically just a weirder version of The Princess Bride.
BorkBork’s submission guidance links
I think "A weirder version of The Princess Bride" Is probably the best compliment I ever got about the book, hahahaha!
I was afraid their motivation would be "gimmicky" just to present us tho the princess story, but the reason their contractor (A woman named Helen) shows them this stuff is because it holds the key for them to solve a problem on their own world. Slowly is revealed that the reason they put up with it (At the beginning, they even lampshade the fact with some witty remarks like "are we watching videogames right now? with the world ending?") is because the reason their world is ending is their fault. So Helen is slightly blackmailing them in watching the simulation (she has some ulterior and personal motives for making them watch it, too) to make them see what was the actual consequences of their actions, and guilt tripping them into find a solution.
EDIT: I guess I should put more thought in explaining the concept, since typing in mobile while riding the bus is really awful.
The Contractor, a woman called Helen, was something like a broker to the siblings, offering them contracts and missions in exchange for money and information, while remaining a misterious figure without a past. She doesnt even exist in their government database. In one of these missions, the siblings fucked something, badly, and although they managed to complete the contract, it caused serious repercussions in their world. Helen disappeared, since it was the plan in the case they fucked up, and the siblings tried to move on with their lives for a while, but after a bit they realize the series of weird phenomena that are going on, first in their country, then in their world, is a direct consequence of the things they put in motion years before.
Six years later, Helen shows up from nowhere, saying they should meet in their old hideout, a seaside mansion. She says she can offer them clues and even a solution to the fucked things that are happening, and that the solutions are hidden in this "interactive movie" she and a misterious programmer are going to show them. In exchange, Helen needs that they find clues in the simulation that she herself cannot. They scoff at the idea first, but then start to see direct parallels of the things that happen in the princess world happened, or will happen, in their own world.
You guys think its a believable enough premise?
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Any premise is believable if the world building is done correctly.
"A tiny little dwarf-like man will carry a ring halfway across the world to toss it into a volcano and save everyone from the ultimate evil." I mean, that's basically the premise of the Lord of the Rings.
I am halfway through the No Plot No Problem book.
I'm really going to start writing my stories.
I am conflicted though I've got one story I finished that I need to rewrite into a longer story, I've got a story I started but got stuck partway through and I've got a new idea that I've already laid plans for. Sadly I really should've planned more stuff for the 2nd story I only had a tiny bit of a concept.
Definitely bookmarking and following this thread though.
I'm really going to start writing my stories.
I am conflicted though I've got one story I finished that I need to rewrite into a longer story, I've got a story I started but got stuck partway through and I've got a new idea that I've already laid plans for. Sadly I really should've planned more stuff for the 2nd story I only had a tiny bit of a concept.
Definitely bookmarking and following this thread though.
Decided to tackle my query letter for Toyland again this morning. Here's the latest and perhaps final version:
Subtle changes from past iterations. Though as I reread it now there are still things I don't like.
Subtle changes from past iterations. Though as I reread it now there are still things I don't like.
In both of the "It's just a shame that..." phrases, you don't need the "that." Reads fine without it.
I like it.
Yay the writers thread.
I really want to share something with you guys but worry about copying stuff. Can I Google go it and lock it with a pass,.?
I really want to share something with you guys but worry about copying stuff. Can I Google go it and lock it with a pass,.?
I have a premise around a world where people are hunted by animals including ducklings who are carrying little tiny spears. The thing is, the animals can't really go into light, so people are safe sometimes so long as they stay around a lamp and out of their throw range.
I'm not sure what throwing range a duckling should have. Probably a short one.
...
In the spirit of "doing stuff instead of writing" that we all know and love, the Worldbuilders 2017 charity has gone up https://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2017/11/worldbuilders-2017/. Included prizes in the lottery is a set of critiques of your work by authors which might be useful.
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And my pitch is away! All I can do is wait for the next week or so for a response, and try not to get my hopes too high.
Meanwhile, my novel continues to tear up the Kindle charts at a tremendous rate of 1 copy a week. I've got some reviews from blogs and results of giveaways coming through soon, so I'm hopeful those'll boost it.
Meanwhile, my novel continues to tear up the Kindle charts at a tremendous rate of 1 copy a week. I've got some reviews from blogs and results of giveaways coming through soon, so I'm hopeful those'll boost it.
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Crap, I haven't done my hair! Wait, I don't have hair. . . but I still look ridiculous! Don't look at meee
Thank you so much! I've had a story in my head but every time I sit down with it I feel like I'm not writing towards a destination. Obviously it's because I need to sit and break down the pieces. I'm excited to use these tools to my advantage.
OP
OP
Yes.
You can set up a google doc, and use the Hide command to keep the password limited to members. Be sure to check what name is attached through the google account if you do that.
Or you can join the discord by quoting the OP, and share in a private channel.
Oh hey Conkersbadfurday ! You did mention you wrote stories before, but it didn't occur to me that you'd be in WritersEra. It will be neat to see people I know in these Community Spotlights.
As for writing, the most I've done is some bad Captain N fanfiction (without having seen Captain N) over a decade ago and now some MLP shitposts. Maybe one day I'll write something more serious, but not any time soon.
As for writing, the most I've done is some bad Captain N fanfiction (without having seen Captain N) over a decade ago and now some MLP shitposts. Maybe one day I'll write something more serious, but not any time soon.
It hasn't really happened in this thread yet, but requesting critique is definitely in line with this thread's mission! The way you did it should work fine. One alternative that we used for the writing challenges is to save a password-protected PDF to Dropbox or Google Drive and share it that way.
Of course, we were more concerned with works counting as published if they're publicly available, and being unable to try to sell publishing rights later, so it's not particularly stringent. :P
OP
OP
Lotta sentences all start with He [verb]. Obviously he is the subject, but some restructuring in editing phase will help avoid sameness.
At the end he has lost the laptop and I would have expected him to have found it before wandering down the street.
This is the best line.
The past tense in this post :(
Ha! It's you!
I kind of miss some of the stupid joy in writing fanfiction. Used to do that a lot in high school--mostly Metroid stuff. None of it good. But there's something kinda neat about fucking with stuff that isn't yours. Something fun about shitting up Batman.
No time for it now though D:
Thank you so much wee. I tried really hard not to use he too much but not naming the protagonist was important to me. The laptop was an honest mistake but I found it after I turned it in for a grade (got 100, had to be slim pickings lol) but I hand waved it as a result for his confusion and guilt lol
Ah I am so glad I found this community! I lurked pretty extensively in the past but hope to chat more this time around. I definitely need some writer friends in my life!
I've been working on the first of a fantasy series for a really long time. It started as something else (as these things always do) and some of those bits are still there, but I'm finally at a point where I'm doing my first round of rewrites. I finished my first draft a few months ago and I picked up on a ton of things I needed to change and fix. I actually write in Evernote because the cloud saving is so important to me, and I need to be able to access everything anywhere I go. I have a couple computers at home, a tablet, my phone of course, and a work computer (shhh I never write at work don't be ludicrous). I'd love to convert to Scrivener since it has some great tools but having to buy all of those licenses really turns me off. I have it for my PC and my Macbook but I still like Evernote more, especially in terms of the organization of all of my story notes and research. I've been using Evernote for FOREVER. I suppose it's just familiar and comfortable now.
I write slowly and I'm very undisciplined, so that makes it difficult. I'm trying to work on that. I think a schedule is going to be helpful for me, but I just have to define what that will be. The real world keeps me on my toes a lot and I'm often so drained. I would never classify myself as a high energy person. But I know that isn't an excuse, and I know I use it as an excuse sometimes. I learned awhile ago that you won't write anything unless you write it. Simple, but true. I tend to be a perfectionist but sometimes I just have to plop myself down and drag the mediocre words out of me to make room for the better words.
Anyway, looking forward to hanging out with you guys :)
I've been working on the first of a fantasy series for a really long time. It started as something else (as these things always do) and some of those bits are still there, but I'm finally at a point where I'm doing my first round of rewrites. I finished my first draft a few months ago and I picked up on a ton of things I needed to change and fix. I actually write in Evernote because the cloud saving is so important to me, and I need to be able to access everything anywhere I go. I have a couple computers at home, a tablet, my phone of course, and a work computer (shhh I never write at work don't be ludicrous). I'd love to convert to Scrivener since it has some great tools but having to buy all of those licenses really turns me off. I have it for my PC and my Macbook but I still like Evernote more, especially in terms of the organization of all of my story notes and research. I've been using Evernote for FOREVER. I suppose it's just familiar and comfortable now.
I write slowly and I'm very undisciplined, so that makes it difficult. I'm trying to work on that. I think a schedule is going to be helpful for me, but I just have to define what that will be. The real world keeps me on my toes a lot and I'm often so drained. I would never classify myself as a high energy person. But I know that isn't an excuse, and I know I use it as an excuse sometimes. I learned awhile ago that you won't write anything unless you write it. Simple, but true. I tend to be a perfectionist but sometimes I just have to plop myself down and drag the mediocre words out of me to make room for the better words.
Anyway, looking forward to hanging out with you guys :)
Congrats on finishing your first draft!
I'm really surprised I've been able to keep up with Nano considering all that's going on irl but I'm hoping that I'm able to just keep it up even after the month ends. I'm really hoping that my current project can hit 70k but I'm not sure if I'll be able to, I already feel like I should be wrapping stuff up. We'll see, I'd really like to submit to Angry Robot though.
I'm really surprised I've been able to keep up with Nano considering all that's going on irl but I'm hoping that I'm able to just keep it up even after the month ends. I'm really hoping that my current project can hit 70k but I'm not sure if I'll be able to, I already feel like I should be wrapping stuff up. We'll see, I'd really like to submit to Angry Robot though.
I've around 90,000 words to write before the end of the year, and I'm not sure if joining a writing community will motivate me - or provide a convenient distraction :S
I've only got about 15k if I want to submit my current project to Angry Robot, but this manuscript's been particularly slow going for me (over 18 months, so far), and I have a nasty feeling it'll require some rewrites as well.
congrats WritingEra
spotlight reminding me of my promises to NaNo oh man whew
Oh man I didn't think we'd get a Spotlight so soon. Now I feel extra bad about being so far behind on Nano and other writing projects/commitments.
So cool to see us in the Community Spotlight.
Welcome!
I just realized, when I saw someone mention earlier the number of words remaining, that I'm down to about 45K more words to write to finish off the novella/month challenge. That makes me both happy (man, this has been some crazy ass run) and sad (leaving these characters behind will be tough). I might need to fire up another 12 novella run with them sometime in the future, but I think I'll not be starting that up immediately.
Welcome!
I just realized, when I saw someone mention earlier the number of words remaining, that I'm down to about 45K more words to write to finish off the novella/month challenge. That makes me both happy (man, this has been some crazy ass run) and sad (leaving these characters behind will be tough). I might need to fire up another 12 novella run with them sometime in the future, but I think I'll not be starting that up immediately.
I see a lot of articles about the necessity of a opening hook, but what do you guys generally feel is a word target for that hook? Trying to hook in the first chapter? First 200 words? 100? First? Wondering what the general consensus is here. Can tell if I'm jumping the gun or taking too long.
If its a book, I'd say by the first chapter. I personally have a real problem with opening hooks. I also write a lot of short stories, so my general thing is to try for the first page of a manuscript but that can be tough and I often fail to hit that too. That said, I do have a couple stories I feel like I do present a good hook very early on. A nice thing to keep in mind is the act of "Defenestration" (def: The act of throwing someone or something out a window). When I have trouble with hooks, I try to remember this because there is no better hook than someone being thrown out a window whether literally or figuratively.
Welp.... I might be a bit on the nose there... My nano is starting out with an info broker on the run. In the first 1-2k words (first chapter) I'm having a chase, small empathy and character background, ending with a triumphant escape and taking in of a view of the grandiose city.. All this setting up the main character as this info broker and showcasing his talents. The very next sentence and first of the second chapter will be him being tossed over the balcony to his demise. (The main character info broker gets introduced later). Does this cross into the territory of cliche? Also, going beyond a chapter to do so, is that taking too long?
Had no idea Defenestration was a thing. I've really been trying to scour for tropes (especially in the sci-fi) realm to try and deconstruct or derive from while avoiding cliche. Or maybe I should go ham on cliche as a style... Don't think that suits me... I really have trouble with subtlety so going ham would quickly turn obnoxious.
I'm only doing this when planning chapters/scenes. When writing the actual words, all the rules go out the window. My slowness is a result of my debilitating laziness/procrastination as opposed to me being a perfectionist. I have no problem dancing fast and loose. I have a problem with getting myself to the club...
And with using ellipses too much...
Hook early and hook often. :P
I like to use Hunger Games as an example because it does it so well: in the first paragraph we learn that "the reaping" is taking place later that day, an ominous opening and a solid minor opening hook. This small mystery helps pull us into a chapter of setup and building, and we're then pulled along by getting to see the MC in action as a badass archer and getting more mystery hints, with shades of Shirley Jackson. Finally, right before the reaping takes place, we learn what it is and how it works, and we realize that obviously it's going to result in the selection of the MC as one of the "reaped" children.
And then in an absolutely killer chapter-ending hook, the author flips our expectations as the MC's little sister is chosen instead.
Seriously, the placement of this is perfect. And it works because the opening hook and the little interesting bits pulled us along through the setup that was necessary to make it land.
So that's my answer. You don't have to blow your best hook immediately, but you do need something to keep the reader interested. Reel them along long enough to put your hook in the place it will have the most impact.
Funny enough, I believe I remember you setting this as a writing challenge in the past. One that I may or may not have started but not submitted. I like that idea. Escalation of hooks in scale with story depth in an opening. I've got some at the beginning and end with some action in the middle of the opener so I think I may play around with this to pad out the middle some more. (adding words not removing). Easing into the catch. Coaxing. Set a colorful bait to catch the eye, add some wiggle to bring them closer, tasty morsel that gets them to bite, then yank for the hook.
It depends entirely on what you're writing. There's no hard rule. Plenty of great novels start out with dry openings (Brave New World), just as plenty of bad ones (The Hunger Games) explode out the gate.
for me I come up with ideas that sound fun, and then think about which of those fall into some sort of trope, and make sure that I at least twist them some to try to avoid playing any trope straight. Though I don't always succeed at that, as I would rather play a trope straight then have a twist that isn't fun.
Example
My main character is special, is able to do things no one else can. <--- normal fantasy trope
My main character is also by far the weakest in my party, and because he does a little of everything isn't actually good at any of them. AKA I have actively worked towards making him not a gary stu, because he became one in the original draft, and it wasn't very good. It's been far more interesting keeping him weak and vulnerable lol. Something that i know has been done, but not nearly as much as having a main character who is a hero that is commonly saving people.
Anyways some fun writing updates. With 900+ words on my main project today it makes 45 straight days I have managed to do that.
I am also at up over 50k words for the month between my main project and my nano project.
Also, it's hard to basically write 4 stories at once, as my main project is at the climax of the story, but it's broken into three major scenes all of which are basically their own mini stories within the arc as they are each revolving around a different set of characters talking about a different set of events lol.
I'm totally watching this thread now, didn't even know about it until I saw the NaNo thread.
I'm not participating in NaNo, my own novel will get finished whenever it gets finished, although it's currently kicking around at 50+K words. I got lucky enough to snag a literary agent for my completed science fiction novel a few months ago, and she's currently shopping it around to the publishers, so fingers crossed on that. Basically my two big fixations are games and genre fiction, so this now this forum takes care of both.
I'm not participating in NaNo, my own novel will get finished whenever it gets finished, although it's currently kicking around at 50+K words. I got lucky enough to snag a literary agent for my completed science fiction novel a few months ago, and she's currently shopping it around to the publishers, so fingers crossed on that. Basically my two big fixations are games and genre fiction, so this now this forum takes care of both.
Oh man! Community Spotlight! Be cool...
Ahem... I'm a novice and participating in this years NaNo. Never attempted writing anything as grand as a novel but looking forward to the experience! I am at the 23000 word point.
It's good to meet you all!
Ahem... I'm a novice and participating in this years NaNo. Never attempted writing anything as grand as a novel but looking forward to the experience! I am at the 23000 word point.
It's good to meet you all!
Welcome! Wishing you good luck for the rest of the month. I kicked off my writing "career" through a NanoWriMo a few years back. It both freed me up to put words on the page and instilled discipline in the practice, so I hope you continue to do it!