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Durden

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
12,511
So yesterday I was just enjoying my Sunday, playing Super Mario Party solo as you do, and just relaxing hard. Was a nice, cloudy, and lazy day that I felt would be perfectly complimented by a pizza, so I decided to order one. Of course I ordered online so I don't have to deal with people on the phone, and the bill/tip can already be paid by the time the pizza is there for the quick hand-off. I placed my order, and happily continued my party with 3 CPUs that know how to have fun.

So I get the call from my apartment gate (they have to call my phone so I can let them in), and I pick up the phone, don't say anything at all, and immediately mash the 9 button to let them in and hang up. I go outside to meet them, as I don't like people knocking on my fucking door. The guy pulls up, and I'm ready to get the pizza and go, then all of a sudden he gets out of the car...

"Hey! How you doin tonight sir!"

Um....what the fuck.

I kind of casually look around "Good"

Dude just keeps going. "Well that's good. Thanks for making it easy for me to get into the gate!"

I'm still looking towards the street/sky, thinking what the fuck is happening, and I'm like "Sure". Like where is my pizza holy shit let's go.

Anyway the dude's like "Alright sir your total is $19.43, could you sign here please?". Even though I already know how much it is because I already fucking paid for it, jesus.

This is where it happens. I take the receipt, sign it, but due to the lighting outside, I had no choice but to look up a bit to give the receipt back to him. It was at this point, I realized he was shorter than me, and by me looking up to where i thought his hand would be, I actually looked up and our eyes were level for just a moment. I could see him attempting to make eye contact with me. I still managed to keep his eyes in my peripheral rather than make true contact, but there was no doubt we were on the same level.

Once I realized what was happening, I grabbed the pizza as quick as I could and ran inside, as I heard him say "Thank you!". Slammed the pizza on the counter, trying to process what just happened the best I could. I went back to playing Mario Party, but I ended up fucking losing to CPU Daisy, Monty Mole, and Rosalina because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Even though I didn't actually meet him eye to eye, I could still see his eyes looking to make contact with me. Longing for a real social interaction. It threw my entire game off for the rest of the night. I mean the CPUS were set on very hard, but usually that's not a problem for me. I had to lower them to normal just so I could keep up after that encounter, compromising my entire party.

Ugh. Anyone else have something similar happen to them Era? If so, how do you deal with it?
 

Mammoth Jones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,296
New York
tenor.gif
 

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
That's weird OP.

But I do relate. I have trouble making eye contact with people because my eyes have always been misaligned with my right eye crossed onwards if I look straight. I had surgery to straighten and they are mostly straight now but my right now has a tendency to lose a lock with my left eye when I'm tired or at random times. Shit sucks, but what can ya do. If you don't have an issue like mine, I don't know what your issue is
 

Snkfanatic

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,179
Is this some kind of inside joke or something? If not you sound like you need to seek counseling.
 

Booki

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,865
Brooklyn
I can't say that I've ever lost to CPU Daisy, but I haven't played Mario Party in the longest.

As far as your interaction with the Pizza Dude goes, that's pretty regular. Eye contact is dope.
 

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
42,942
I generally appreciate shit posts, but this one was too low effort for very little pay off.
 

okayfrog

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,968
Sounds like an uncomfortable situation he put you in. Glad you were able to get out of it safely. Stay strong.
 

NealMcCauley

Member
Oct 27, 2017
6,498
"And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." - Famous pizza delivery man.
 

Mendrox

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
9,439
I love to look people into their eyes i dont know just to fuck with them. I am your worst enemy OP
 

KelticNight

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,835
You know those things that are good in theory, but not in practice? This thread is one of those things.
 

Ultima_5

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,670
hahahaha if this threads is a joke, its great.

if this threads real, atleast you're self aware unlike most of these sorts of threads.
 
Oct 25, 2017
23,202
I'm shocked people are actually buying this. Like I know this site is full of some weirdos, but this is obviously a joke post
 

Deleted member 17092

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
20,360
The dude told you the total and asked you to sign because he wanted a tip.

Also if this isn't satire get some professional help op.
 

Deception

Member
Nov 15, 2017
8,419
Today I did human things... beep boop beep.
7Wan.gif


Did you tell you to "Have a goodnight" too? I hate when people do that.
 

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
I think the real news here is that Monty Mole is a playable character in Super Mario Party. I legit didn't know that.
 

Cpt-GargameL

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,024
Is this a joke post? If not then you need to experience humans OP. Can't be hanging with CPUs all the time.
 

EJS

The Fallen - Self Requested Ban
Banned
Oct 31, 2017
9,176
For threads like this, we need a link to the original. I can only assume this is a satirical post.
 

Kuro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
20,575
OP this isn't funny. I know someone autistic that has trouble looking into people's eyes. Its a common issue with autism.
 

Deleted member 11985

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,168
Is this actually a troll thread? The sarcasm/satire is way too dry.

Edit: nvm, it's a troll thread.
 
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