You ever perform as a different gender online?

[John Kowalski]

I think if you're a millennial (maybe younger ppl too i'm not sure) you can probably remember that there used to be a lot talk about "men posting as women" online, and well the conversation back then was pretty horrible in general. Today we sort of have the social awareness and vocabulary to talk about gender performance in a less boogie man way, but back then the man as a woman fear was a pretty huge thing that is imo still to blame for how even today there is a male as norm feel to everything in the internet. Like white normativity. Today social media is a different beast and is often complemented by or made up of images of the self, and even smaller tools like pronoun labels increase the visibility of people who don't identify as men online.

But performing as a different gender has probably coexisted with these fears normally and safely. Because honestly it can be pretty fun, if you're not taking advantage of anyone. And it can let you ideate life as a different gender in a way that real life doesn't allow for, which can be a positive and affirming experience, either because it normalizes something that you need for your mental health. Or even just for people who are looking for a different kind of turn on in those dirty dirty chat rooms.

So has anyone done it? For the sake of inclusivity you can take the question in any way you want, either from how you identify now, from how you identified when it happened, whatever. I'm just interesting in how and why people perform a different gender and what they took from it.

Also made a pool if you don't want to write publicly about it.

 

[R0b1n]

The male as a norm thing goes the other way too where women don't want to be known as women online, especially in certain circles

 

[jml]

Only to mess with guys who tried hitting on me thinking I was a woman because I used a female avatar.

 

[John Kowalski]

The male as a norm thing goes the other way too where women don't want to be known as women online, especially in certain circles

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Yes that was a quick description but it functions basically as race does i think, presumed whiteness and anyone who violates the sacrosanctity of that presumption by bringing up race or by not being white is materialized and disenfranchised as a racialized person just like irl.

 

[SecondNature]

Only when scamming punks on maplestory/runescape

 

[Camwi]

Yeah, me and my buddy used to troll creeps on Napster chat back in the day, posing as 14 year old girls. Good times.

 

[nsilvias]

No but I'm sure some people online think I'm a woman with my username

 

[Dark Knight]

I've played as girl characters in MMOs, does that count?

 

[DiipuSurotu]

I've played as girl characters in MMOs, does that count?

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Yes

 

[Messofanego]

I think if you're a millennial (maybe younger ppl too i'm not sure) you can probably remember that there used to be a lot talk about "men posting as women" online, and well the conversation back then was pretty horrible in general. Today we sort of have the social awareness and vocabulary to talk about gender performance in a less boogie man way, but back then the man as a woman fear was a pretty huge thing that is imo still to blame for how even today there is a male as norm feel to everything in the internet. Like white normativity. Today social media is a different beast and is often complemented by or made up of images of the self, and even smaller tools like pronoun labels increase the visibility of people who don't identify as men online.

But performing as a different gender has probably coexisted with these fears normally and safely. Because honestly it can be pretty fun, if you're not taking advantage of anyone. And it can let you ideate life as a different gender in a way that real life doesn't allow for, which can be a positive and affirming experience, either because it normalizes something that you need for your mental health. Or even just for people who are looking for a different kind of turn on in those dirty dirty chat rooms.

So has anyone done it? For the sake of inclusivity you can take the question in any way you want, either from how you identify now, from how you identified when it happened, whatever. I'm just interesting in how and why people perform a different gender and what they took from it.

Also made a pool if you don't want to write publicly about it.

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I don't think I could play around with presenting as a different gender because it would seem like deceiving and if someone got to know me, I would be lying. No matter if it's never found out, I don't want to put out that dishonest energy into the world, it might come back to bite me. I'm comfortable with identifying as male but also having a feminine side when needed.

 

[Astral/H3X]

I've pretty much exclusively played female characters when given the chance, MMOs included (though I think my first MMO character was a guy, though that was it), and I'm a female avatar VTuber, so yeah.

 

[Ambitious]

Not just online.

 

[John Kowalski]

I've played as girl characters in MMOs, does that count?

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Hmm, in MMOs sure. My FFXIV character is a catlady. But i always play as a girl in games. So not sure... where the motivation comes from online or from the game.

I've pretty much exclusively played female characters when given the chance, MMOs included (though I think my first MMO character was a guy, though that was it), and I'm a female avatar VTuber, so yeah.

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You're a VTuber?? Wow that's cool.

 

[Jotakori]

When I was a young teen first on the internet I would say I was a guy mostly for safety concerns--specifically cuz of those 'everyone online is a predator' fears parents especially had back then for their kids (and even more so for their girls). But then I ended up in a really unfortunate situation where I sorta unintentionally catfished an online friend who had gotten really emotionally close to me, so after that mess I stopped saying I was a guy and instead just never talked about my gender. I've obviously loosened up about it over the years, and I won't hesitate to bring it up if it's relevant to a conversation, but I still don't like advertising my gender in my profiles.

Oh, although I do always play as male characters in games (including MMOs), but that's less about wanting ppl to think I'm a dude so much as just preferring to look at a male avatar.

 

[Osu 16 Bit]

I used to heavily. I am trans and it helped me cope. At the time I didn’t quite understand why I did, although in hindsight it’s very obvious lol.

I did most of my socializing online, had a lot of good friends and spent hours every day talking to them. It sucked because I was stuck between feeling like I was lying or telling the truth and losing my friends and that comfort. I never did. I eventually fell out of touch. Every once in a while I wonder how they’re doing and consider reaching out, but I never do.

 

[Steelrain]

Almost all of my WoW characters are women. It used to get me a lot of free stuff. Plus women in armor is nice to look at.

 

[John Kowalski]

Plus women in armor is nice to look at.

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Aww man don't bring that into this thread please.

 

[Serule]

As a male, I find myself playing as female characters fairly often in MMOs (more than 50% of my characters). It's not so much that I am drawn to the female characters, and more that I really dislike playing as really macho / aggressive male characters. Like in WoW it's impossible to make a male human / dwarf / orc that doesn't look like a musclebound idiot. Male trolls are cool though.

 

[Astral/H3X]

You're a VTuber?? Wow that's cool.

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Anyone can be a VTuber! There's lots and lots of em.

We aren't all popular lol

 

[Truly Gargantuan]

I mean I play women characters in games, but I never "perform" as a woman. When asked I'll always say I'm a male, I just like playing as women cause it's more aesthetically pleasing to me.

 

[John Kowalski]

Anyone can be a VTuber! There's lots and lots of em.

We aren't all popular lol

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Hmm you're right. I don't really know a lot about it i just like Korone clips tbh....

 

[molnizzle]

If female MMO characters count then yeah, I used to do that a lot.

 

[Menchin]

Why yes, I do /dance in Stormwind for gold

 

[mikeys_legendary]

Nah. But I usually play female characters in MMOs (mainly WoW and SWtOR when it was a thing) because for whatever reason, the characters actually look better.

I am pretty convinced the devs must have put more effort into the female models than the male ones, which all look silly in my opinion. (Exception being the original Horde races in WoW, but I like my characters to have shoes, so I played Alliance)

I found myself constantly correcting people that I am a man. They would call me baby, hun, sweetie, etc. Early WoW was...something else.

 

[Deleted member 21709]

Only to mess with guys who tried hitting on me thinking I was a woman because I used a female avatar.

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why didn't you say

 

[Reym]

I mostly try to refrain from ever identifying myself by gender. I don’t particularly have any interest in being known as either one.

 

[Wubby]

I rolled a female Tauren hunter in Wow once. Got her to 80 and collected all the spirit beasts in Northrend.

 

[Musubi]

I played Metal Gear Online on Metal Gear Solid 4 and my Character name was Hayley (named after Hayley Williams someone who I deeply admire) some people thought I was a girl and so I just rolled with it and played that role and honestly it felt good.

 

[BasilZero]

Performed online?

Nope

I did play female avatars in Ragnarok Online and/or choose to play as female characters in games that give you a choice but only after playing a game once and then doing a second playthrough but I never really thought much on it, just playing a game.

People tried to hit on me but I immediately told them that I'm not a girl.

 

[SilverX]

No, it was never anything I wanted to do. And the last thing I wanted was attention from desperate dudes.

 

[Wackamole]

Nope. Never crossed my mind.
While playing a game it doesn't really matter as long as the character is cool. Sometimes female characters look cooler.

 

[astro]

When it first came out, I made a fake OK Cupid profile for some royalty free stock images to see how the responses were for women compared to men. Results were as you'd expect now, at the time I really wasn't expecting it to be quite as bad as it was.

I performed as a man my entire life, though, offline and online. I never felt like I fit in with male or female humans, from early age to adulthood, and at times I over compensated on male traits to fit in with "the lads" in social or work settings, both off and online.

For the majority of my life I had no idea why I felt I didn't fit with what I was told, with what was expected of me. When i first heared the term non-binary, I immediately knew that was what described how I'd felt my entire life.

It's strange sometimes, you can have a sense of something that you can't quite pull into focus, and suddenly someone comes up with a succinct term for it and it's suddenly clear. Like you knew it all along, but just couldn't find the words to describe it, and that final piece of the puzzle lets you see the entire image with new clarity.

 

[John Kowalski]

When it first came out, I made a fake OK Cupid profile for some royalty free stock images to see how the responses were for women compared to men. Results were as you'd expect now, at the time I really wasn't expecting it to be quite as bad as it was.

I performed as a man my entire life, though, offline and online. I never felt like I fit in with male or female humans, from early age to adulthood, and at times I over compensated on male traits to fit in with "the lads" in social or work settings, both off and online.

For the majority of my life I had no idea why I felt I didn't fit with what I was told, with what was expected pf me. When i first heared the term non-binary, I immediately knew that was what described how I'd felt my entire life.

It's strange sometimes, you can have a sense of something that you can't quite pull into focus, and suddenly someone comes up with a succinct term for it and it's suddenly clear. Like you knew it all along, but just couldn't find the words to describe it, and that final piece of the puzzle lets you see the entire image with new clarity.

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Oh yeah words are extremely important in that way. Which is why having a rich vocabulary that can describe multiple kinds of being is much more important than just for scientific nomenclature, it gives quotidian people who need it the language to know themselves too.

 

[lunarworks]

Back in the old days of IRC this was incredibly common. People would successfully hide behind opposite-gender identities for years, and no one would suspect a thing.

 

[Keyser S]

I used a woman's name in some yahoo games rooms back 1999ish just to see. And I remember getting many many many

"ADD ME ON MESSANGER PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

 

[Dead Prince]

back in the day when rating sites existed.

 

[mopinks]

I performed as a different gender irl

 

[John Kowalski]

I should say my own answer is yes

 

[Jazzy Heck]

yeah, for the first 26 years of my life

 

[Kent]

I've played as girl characters in MMOs, does that count?

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I'd argue that it does not necessarily count, since the term "perform" as kind of a different connotation than simply using a character of a given gender expression.

 

[Keyser S]

I also went into a WWF chatroom with the name

}{}{}{

 

[Bobson Dugnutt]

To fuck around with thirst lords hitting on or dickheads denigrating a female avatar, absolutely. Nothing more than that.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

Wait what does "perform" mean?

 

[Wyndstryker]

In mmo's i'd play a female cause i don't want to see a guy all day.

 

[GungHo]

I'd argue that it does not necessarily count, since the term "perform" as kind of a different connotation than simply using a character of a given gender expression.

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Yeah, that's not been my case. I've stopped playing MMOs, but I would pick the character based on the look/theme I wanted. It wasn't based in the pursuit of some sort of cathartic experience. Same for TTRPGs. That's not to discount anyone who has done so... there's a lot of healthy exploration in those sorts of activities, and sometimes people really do find out some things about themselves that they never really addressed. More power to them.

 

[Winny（๑•̀ㅂ•́）و]

The male as a norm thing goes the other way too where women don't want to be known as women online, especially in certain circles

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I did this a lot in the early 2000s. I was barely a teenager and it was safer (and less hassle) to just not say anything or say I was a guy if pressed. I'd always have to make excuses if folks wanted to use voice chat while we played videogames online because obviously that'd give me away immediately, but other than that I don't think I really got comfortable admitting I was a woman online until I was in my twenties. Even now, the idea of putting pronouns along with my posts still feels a little uncomfortable.

 

[Princess Viola]

i'm trans so i performed as a different gender online until i was like 15 technically !

 

[RROCKMAN]

Haven't had a reason to no. But I can definitely understand that many girls have to in order not have to deal with stupid shit so they can have fun online.

In that same nature I don't play certain games online cause I already know I don't need 12 year old jackasses hurling racial slurs to make themselves feel important in my ears.

 

[GayAnimeDad]

Only to trick people for comedy. I used to get horny guys in AOL chat rooms to direct connect with me for pictures then send them Teletubbies or Osama bin Laden. My oOo2Hawt4TVoOo AIM account had many victims.

 

[meowdi gras]

I performed as a man my entire life, though, offline and online.

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I performed as a different gender irl

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^