I've seen their kind make the ethnical purity argument before. They are definitely some racists eho try to prop Asian majority countries as an ideal standard for racial makeup.
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Thanks for this info. Wasn't aware of these issues. Just pulled up some articles about the Asian glass ceiling and fewer callbacks for job applicants with Asian names to familiarize myself further.
Goes both ways as well. I get weird "mixed baby!!11!" comments from both caucasian men and women as well as my wife's Chinese friends. I've seen a Chinese friend, who is married to a Chinese woman, get shit on by his Mother in Law because "mixed babies are so much more cute". MiL dropped that shit on him after mentioning to his wife that she could have married a white boy to get the cute mixed baby.
That was one of the most awkward moments of my life.
My girlfriend did a panel at our school the other day on Black/Asian race relations in America and mentioned this as just one of the ways in which the two have been essentially pitted against each other as polar opposites by stereotype.
It's interesting. I feel like when discussing race we fall too often onto each respective minority's relationship with White people and don't talk enough about our relationship with each other.
There's a whole reddit of asian men whining about asian women dating anyone but asians. :)
My wife is half Japanese and we've never had a single person take issue with it. Likewise, my sister in law was married to a black man and she never had issues. I ran this past my father in law who was married to a Japanese woman for 40+ years before she passed away from cancer and he said they never had a single issue with their interracial marriage.
We're all from the mid west. Maybe its a bigger problem elsewhere? Maybe its the online aspect that allowed all these terrible comments?
Anyway, we personally cannot relate to a single point of her video. I was more interested in the asian male side of things TBH (which seemed to be half the video at least).
However! My sister (adopted), is Chinese. She is 16, gifted in both education and athletics, and stunningly beautiful. I know for a fact that being asian in a tiny midwest town has been super hard on her. She feels like a total outcast. I know it bothers her. She believes its the reason she is the only girl in her peer group without a boyfriend. I just tell her to buckle her seatbelt because when she goes to college, dudes will be lined up around the block. Since she has been surrounded by white dudes her entire life, I just imagine she'll end up with one. She has always been close with my wife and the family always joked that it was because they were both asian. I belive there is definitely a hint of truth in that assumption. My sister has zero connection to any part of her asian heritage and the older she gets, the more she seems to desire that connection to her ethnicity.
We're all from the mid west. Maybe its a bigger problem elsewhere? Maybe its the online aspect that allowed all these terrible comments?
Anyway, we personally cannot relate to a single point of her video. I was more interested in the asian male side of things TBH (which seemed to be half the video at least).
However! My sister (adopted), is Chinese. She is 16, gifted in both education and athletics, and stunningly beautiful. I know for a fact that being asian in a tiny midwest town has been super hard on her. She feels like a total outcast. I know it bothers her. She believes its the reason she is the only girl in her peer group without a boyfriend. I just tell her to buckle her seatbelt because when she goes to college, dudes will be lined up around the block. Since she has been surrounded by white dudes her entire life, I just imagine she'll end up with one. She has always been close with my wife and the family always joked that it was because they were both asian. I belive there is definitely a hint of truth in that assumption. My sister has zero connection to any part of her asian heritage and the older she gets, the more she seems to desire that connection to her ethnicity.
Wow I watched that entire video. Anyway as a black man living in NY the race combo I've seen more than any other is White Guy/Asian Woman. I just sort of accepted Asian women just love white dudes growing up.
Over the vast majority of the past seven years I've been dating an Asian woman (dated one for three and a half years, broke up, met the other a few months later and have been dating her ever since).
The only people i've ever heard weird comments from are certain people who have come off as oddly jealous about it. To be blunt, socially awkward or weeaboo-ish white dudes. My videogame hobby means I cross paths with those guys from time to time.
Most insane one was when I talked about going on a date with the first one, some dude from one of my classes at the time who fit that bill to a T started asking questions about "what kind of asian is she?", "is she in to anime?", and, I shit you not, "does she wear pigtails like a school girl?".
But yeah, I've never heard negativity about it. Just awkward as fuck comments from certain guys who seem to be trying to live vicariously through me.
The only people i've ever heard weird comments from are certain people who have come off as oddly jealous about it. To be blunt, socially awkward or weeaboo-ish white dudes. My videogame hobby means I cross paths with those guys from time to time.
Most insane one was when I talked about going on a date with the first one, some dude from one of my classes at the time who fit that bill to a T started asking questions about "what kind of asian is she?", "is she in to anime?", and, I shit you not, "does she wear pigtails like a school girl?".
But yeah, I've never heard negativity about it. Just awkward as fuck comments from certain guys who seem to be trying to live vicariously through me.
It seems like it's just the intersection of politics and the personal, and a pretty good example of why they shouldn't really meet (or at least, you should keep a healthy distance). There's certainly lingering racial and gender issues in dating of all stripes, and it's unfortunate that certain categories start off at a disadvantage basically through no fault of their own (black women and asian men.) Ignoring the issue wholesale isn't a great strategy; I think you can strive to be colorblind but that requires cognizance that things aren't currently equal. But taking that out on actual individuals and making their relationship somehow a "betrayal" of progressivism or chalking it up to ingrained patriarchal or racist attitudes rather than a conscious choice to date someone because… you like that person? It's unhelpful, and often is just a mask/projection for someone else's jealously or misplaced anger.
The guy around 19'00 who turns the topic into a sob story for himself… perfect example. "Asian women willfully dating white men […] and in some cases not very good ones" is just a mask over the usual "why are women only dating jerks?" stuff, combined with a "think of the children!" deflection.
It's definitely more complex than just that element at play, but that one sticks out the most to me from the video. It was interesting to hear many more perspectives from the women, because I think it's a topic that tends to get dominated by "but what about asian men?" as the jumping-off point.
The guy around 19'00 who turns the topic into a sob story for himself… perfect example. "Asian women willfully dating white men […] and in some cases not very good ones" is just a mask over the usual "why are women only dating jerks?" stuff, combined with a "think of the children!" deflection.
It's definitely more complex than just that element at play, but that one sticks out the most to me from the video. It was interesting to hear many more perspectives from the women, because I think it's a topic that tends to get dominated by "but what about asian men?" as the jumping-off point.
Sounds like she should get more support to make that happen, don't you think? I also don't think that "ending up with a white guy" is necessarily a healthy attitude to take either considering her wanting to connect more with her ethnic heritage. Being white shouldn't be her standard of beauty or masculinity when she isn't.
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For a person of color, EVERYTHING is political. Every action or inaction is an exercise of institutional power. We aren't allowed to simply exist. Your post is also very dismissive of the unique issues of HAPA's, especially since the vast majority are white men with Asian women. The topic might trend towards "what about Asian men," but we aren't the ones re/defining what social norms are, while WMAF couples reinforce the status quo.
No need to be concerned. We got it covered. As she grows older, the family has adjusted admirably well in addressing her needs. Thankfully, asian culture is rather easily accessible. We're having a more difficult time with my other sister, who is russian. Finding anything about russian culture is immensely more difficult than asian.
I'm sure. But think about the historical KKK-level dialogue around white women dating various black and brown people and you'll understand what I mean by white male/Asian female being the "least controversial". And there are similar levels of serious rage about different ethnic pairings worldwide. Anger around interracial dating gets a whole lot worse than niche subreddits with a couple of nerds writing weird rants.
Thanks for bringing up the middle part. No experience with the first part. Re: the last part, it's just a toxic, mildly misogynist (okay not so mild) where (justifiably) frustrated people say mean things.
We're too passive or something.
There's an Asian ERA OT thread (that I made, disclaimer :p) where I have a couple articles about racism against Asians, including those issues :o
This is what worries me about moving to a place without many Asians. I'm Taiwanese, my husband is Taiwanese, our kids will be 100% Taiwanese (well, Chinese, whatever). Neither one of us had any identity issues growing up (I had all Asian friends until college, despite living in CA), and I credit that to being surrounded with other people who looked like us (so we never looked in the mirrors and was like, I don't look like anyone else). I really do worry that our kids may have identity issues or even self-hatred if they feel like they are alone. ionno.
I don't care what color my kid marries, but I do care if my kid is trying to marry because they want to be "less" Asian.
Fucking lol.
I speak up for my Asian brethren in the West precisely because any time they try to shine light on their issues they will get comments like yours which is basically dismissing them to be insecure and opinions not worthy unlike their female counterparts.
And the only deflection here on a systemic racism against Black Women and Asian Men via " certain categories start off " as if some mythical forces was responsible instead of actual and intended racism is in place is your post.
My wife and her sister never had issues, likely due to their mother being Japanese. I think my sister is in a unique situation TBH. Your children have you and your husband to come home to every day. They can also bounce their questions off of the two of you and get first hand opinions and insight if they should ever require it. Your experiences will be a wonderful guide for your kids.
Wait what how can you think this.
I'd say that it's pretty rare to hear about "what about asian men" from anyone other than Asian men, whereas the racism and stereotypes faced by Asian women on interracial dating is very well known (yellow fever, etc).
Black with White right wing women ( not joking) is basically the only Black/X interracial couple that you can actually be in seom cities/states and have no one bother you but any other possible combination is basically bad.
At in the fact both their lives are easier individually then a black person white with asian isn't even close to a struggle.
I thought it was just because they sit at home and watch anime all day...
If they're justifiably frustrated, then I feel like I can't marginalize them or flat out be dismissive. I truly feel that the whole possessiveness aspect that comes out in the form of misogyny and sexism is really the expression of being dehumanized and not having the language to communicate it. Hell, I didn't even know it existed before this thread. I'm not saying that Asian women can't be offended of course. I'm more angry at the society that creates that anger than the victims of it in this case and just a quick look in the sub doesn't look that bad. Maybe that will change as I read more.
I always find it interesting that marginalized people are made to feel responsible for their marginalization.
Oh, that definitely plays a role. A lot of the alt-right shitposter on twitter have anime waifu avatars.
To be fair, they are unbearably cute though. This is mine:
MOST kids are cute regardless of their racial make up. Being half white doesn't make it more exceptional. Let's not elevate one over the other.
The purity thing is probably part of it, but I feel like they also think east Asian women may be more submissive, so they think women there may accept (read: enable) their behavior. The way most girls are portrayed in anime plays right into this.
I think a lot of those types turn to these extreme views because of sexual frustration. There's a lot of "no girls around me like me, but it's not my fault! Obviously it's their fault! I'm sure these girls over here will love me" in there.
To be fair it might be true. While a lot of dudes might have "yellow fever", in my experience a lot of asian girls also have "white fever" and having successful Tinder dates all of a sudden might enable their behaviour.
You're responsible for getting angry at others for their relationships not conforming to your desires. That's a completely different thing.
How very convenient of you to address that particular post rather than the other posts that are direct responses to you.
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Seems like guys still see the nationality well enough to talk about how easy Chinese girls are
As unproductive and messed up as that subreddit is ignoring their issues in favor of feeling more alpha or righteous is well ignoring the point. There are female posters there as well.
Tbh I had thought that hapas had it easier than full Asian first gen kids but they have their own set of problems. When many of the marriages come from a non standard situation and the language and cultural difficulties emerge after years being together it's not hard to see how some of the kids could have damaged homes. At least the Vietnam war era and before marriages often did not turn out the way either husband or wife expected.
Nah I don't think not giving that subreddit any respect amounts to feeling more alpha or righteous.
A lot of problems that mixed-ethnicities have really depends on social upbringing and class. It really wasn't that long ago that there were only two possibilities for mixed-race offspring: either high-class aristocracy or lower-caste untouchables/impoverished people.
That's not to say that ethnic issues aren't valid or encountered for mixed-ethnic peoples, but exaggeration runs rampant on some of those sub-reddits.
(Perhaps my experiences are rather unique in this regard as I have mixed-ethnic family members/roots, and was raised in two different homes -- Hong Kong and Canada -- with open and accepting attitudes towards mixed-race couplings.)
That's not to say that ethnic issues aren't valid or encountered for mixed-ethnic peoples, but exaggeration runs rampant on some of those sub-reddits.
(Perhaps my experiences are rather unique in this regard as I have mixed-ethnic family members/roots, and was raised in two different homes -- Hong Kong and Canada -- with open and accepting attitudes towards mixed-race couplings.)
That the most missunderstood and damaging phrase, the're easier but you still need to have some game. Not easy as you just turn up as a white guy and think that's all you have to do.
Thanks for posting the video. It's a really tough topic. TV and film in the US has a history of fetishizing Asian women and emasculating Asian men. There's just no way around that. Asian Female + White Male relationships also have that history to contend with. The important thing is to be open and honest with yourself and your partner about what makes you attracted to them.
There's a really great independent Asian film scene, but sadly Hollywood is still incredibly racist and don't give Asian stars opportunities. There are market reasons cited, but that doesn't excuse many of the negative portrayals you see even in modern film.
Thankfully, we have Youtube and many big Asian stars who are making a killing on there, which are hopefully creating more role models for younger kids who don't see themselves represented on TV. The lack of validation by the general US population is really a shame, and it's one reason why some big US born Asian stars move overseas to more receptive markets. It's also why Asian stars and musicians who are huge in their home countries fail to make a splash in the US market.
It's important to recognize these truths, be respectful, and recognize your own biases. That doesn't mean you can't date who you want to, but reflecting on why you made your choice is meaningful, no matter what kind of relationship you're in.
There's a really great independent Asian film scene, but sadly Hollywood is still incredibly racist and don't give Asian stars opportunities. There are market reasons cited, but that doesn't excuse many of the negative portrayals you see even in modern film.
Thankfully, we have Youtube and many big Asian stars who are making a killing on there, which are hopefully creating more role models for younger kids who don't see themselves represented on TV. The lack of validation by the general US population is really a shame, and it's one reason why some big US born Asian stars move overseas to more receptive markets. It's also why Asian stars and musicians who are huge in their home countries fail to make a splash in the US market.
It's important to recognize these truths, be respectful, and recognize your own biases. That doesn't mean you can't date who you want to, but reflecting on why you made your choice is meaningful, no matter what kind of relationship you're in.
huh. when I saw the title I was honestly expecting a short doc about the hyper sexualization of asian women (particulary east asian women) by white men. The doc was still interesting though. really shows how batty people can be.
It's still a sense of white superiority and Asian submissiveness.
How about simply saying "no it's not,"you explain why it's not?
So Western Woman/Women followed Charisma-Man all the way to Planet Japan?
Anecdotal but out of the 4 Filipino friends I've made since starting college, 3 of them (2 guys, 1 gal) had explicit "Whites Only" dating policies. They all stuck to their word and ended up marrying white people.
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Yeah it's definitely rough for kids in mostly or basically all homogenized cultures. I always take it as three different things, 1. Kids being kids not realizing what they say hurts people and has an effect beyond the minute its said. 2. Kids/adults being jealous be that for a person's unique/better looks or assumed better-ness at having more opportunities in terms of culture, language, and what not. 3. Some people just being straight up dumb.
I have a friend who always gets asked if shes Korean by Japanese people or if she speaks the language "because she has foreign friends and "looks" Korean... Can definitely say after living here, Japanese people can't tell shit for where people are from haha. And not just because of her but ALL times I've seen someone guess where someone is from. Been asked if I'm Thai several times... I'm African American >.>
This has been my experience too... I shudder think about having to talk to some of the people I've met about this stuff.
Sure, whatever. Hard to believe that when people are still talking about how being a white guy makes things better for you in Asia.
Like, I'm not calling anyone a horrible racist, but can you really say with a straight face that when a white dude in Asia talks about Asian girls being easy there's no sense of elevating a certain kind of white masculinity?
It's kind of contradictory to be posting about how easy it is to get laid as a white guy in Asia and then be like "nope there's nothing racial about it"
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I recommend anyone interested to watch that documentary, very good and worth your time.
Also experienced the first half. A coworker at my last job kept saying that and just made me uncomfortable that I would try to change the subject. The things he said were fucked up...
I'm half Japanese, and I had very minimal problems in Japan. I got more shit as a kid in the US.
That's just my personal experience though.
Same, but when is the last time you as a white person were treated badly due to race? Literally never for me. I think the hostility here is usually directed at the women.
Again, just to clarify I'm not trying to call you racist or anything, I'm trying to comment on the phenomenon