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You've been kidnapped by a group of international terrorists, which government agent do you choose to rescue you?

Choose your rescuer


  • Total voters
    373

JonnyDBrit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,268
Frankly I'm probably some nerd who'd get killed off at the start of a conventional spy flick because I had the macguffin or the launch codes or whatever. So definitely not Bond.

Archer though, I'd live because at worst he'd fail the mission spectacularly in some other fashion, while at best I know enough pop cultural stuff to appeal to his character.

At least, of the options permitted. Got a few alternatives I can think of...
 
May 26, 2018
4,608
Ethan Hunt, probably. I'd need to romance Bond to have a good chance at being rescued and, uh... I don't think that would be happening lol
 
It has to be Bond or Archer right? Bonds probably the most competent overall and when Archer actually has to step up he's really good at what he does, as is Lana. As long as Cyril and Cheryl dont come along the odds would be in my favor.
 

Triscuitable

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,811
Archer would absolutely get me shot (or shoot me), and by the end I'd probably be on track to have a leg amputated or a kidney transplanted, but he's got a remarkably solid track record for rescue ops.
The DARPA Chief was already dead by the time he infiltrated Shadow Moses, and trying to rescue (unknowingly) Decoy Octopus resulted in his death via FOXDIE. Meryl dies if he saves Otacon. Otacon's fate is left ambiguous if Meryl lives (though he obviously lived because MGS2 and 4 are canon, but folks believed Meryl was dead up until MGS4 showed she lived). Emma dies no matter what. His father failed to save Sokolov and lost his eye to maintain EVA's cover. Chico and Paz were both killed while his own medic was impaled in the forehead with a chunk of shrapnel and left to recover from a 9-year long coma.

Neither Solid Snake nor Naked Snake have a good track record for rescue ops, and they often get folks caught in the crossfire during them.
 

Serene

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,695
Ethan Hunt is absolutely the choice here but he’s not in the poll so I’ll go Bond I guess
 

Serene

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,695
If I need Snake to save me, then I am kidnapped by some cosmic horror nanomachine people and I don’t want that shit
 

Yourfawthaaa

Member
Nov 2, 2017
2,047
Bronx, NY
Archer would absolutely get me shot (or shoot me), and by the end I'd probably be on track to have a leg amputated or a kidney transplanted, but he's got a remarkably solid track record for rescue ops.

The DARPA Chief was already dead by the time he infiltrated Shadow Moses, and trying to rescue (unknowingly) Decoy Octopus resulted in his death via FOXDIE. Meryl dies if he saves Otacon. Otacon's fate is left ambiguous if Meryl lives (though he obviously lived because MGS2 and 4 are canon, but folks believed Meryl was dead up until MGS4 showed she lived). Emma dies no matter what. His father failed to save Sokolov and lost his eye to maintain EVA's cover. Chico and Paz were both killed while his own medic was impaled in the forehead with a chunk of shrapnel and left to recover from a 9-year long coma.

Neither Solid Snake nor Naked Snake have a good track record for rescue ops, and they often get folks caught in the crossfire during them.
I'll take my chances
 

ibyea

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,960
I like how Jack Bauer rogue and Jack Bauer with CTU are two different options. Haha
 

B-Dubs

Oh well, what the hell?
Administrator
Oct 25, 2017
17,128
Can I get Lana instead of Archer? She's less likely to get me killed in the crossfire.
 

Starwing

The Fallen
Oct 31, 2018
1,064

Doggg

Member
Nov 17, 2017
4,360
Jason Bourne. He doesn't mess around and just gets the job done. I guess I'd have to put up with a car chase, which would be pretty stressful. At least I wouldn't have put up with a lot of banter.
 

PJV3

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,998
London
Jason Bourne. He doesn't mess around and just gets the job done. I guess I'd have to put up with a car chase, which would be pretty stressful. At least I wouldn't have put up with a lot of banter.
The same reason I went for Bryan Mills, he's just as focused but he doesn't have all the memory and trauma issues.
 

Sidebuster

Member
Oct 26, 2017
706
California
I picked rogue Jack Bauer, but I didn't see 48 hours so that's like two seasons for him and I'd be long dead by the second.

So my real answer is Ding Chavez.
 

Br3wnor

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,410
Rogue Bauer, he foils terrorist plots and entire cells in 24 hours, given the time crunch he’s my dude.
 

defaltoption

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
2,526
Orlando, Florida
Archer is a good time but I'll probably die, Bond because I'll probably be saved in the end because Bond rules, Jack Ryan is the more "realistic" scenario out of most of these.

Gonna stick with Bond just so I know im saved
 

Pedrito

Member
Nov 4, 2017
1,181
I'd also choose the M:I crew, but the original

Have they ever failed a single mission?

Jason Bourne is a terrible choice. He has a horrible record when it comes to keeping the people he interacts with alive.