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You've been kidnapped by a group of international terrorists, which government agent do you choose to rescue you?

Choose your rescuer

  • Jack Bauer (with CTU)

    Votes: 37 9.9%

  • Jack Bauer (Rogue)

    Votes: 57 15.3%

  • Jack Ryan

    Votes: 18 4.8%

  • James Bond

    Votes: 107 28.7%

  • John McClane

    Votes: 32 8.6%

  • Harry Tasker (True Lies)

    Votes: 53 14.2%

  • Archer

    Votes: 69 18.5%
  • Total voters
    373
BossAttack

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
42,926
Background:

  • You are the primary target for rescue. So, you don't have to worry about being left to die because it'll allow the agent to track the terrorists to their home base or nuclear weapon or whatever. However, this also means that collateral damage is not an issue. If you are taken with any family members, you are the sole target for rescue so they may be sacrificed for your rescue.
  • Any and all damage is authorized for your rescue including destroying entire nations to secure your release.
  • Agent comes with their support team, if they have any.
  • Terrorists cannot be reasoned with to hand you over.
  • Terrorists will kill you in 48 hours if you are not rescued.
  • Terrorists are at least a dozen led by an intelligent, multi-lingual antagonist with at least one PhD.
  • Batman is not a government agent. So, he cannot be relied upon.

Reminders:
  • Jack Bauer failed to stop the POTUS from being killed in a stealth bomber attack, failed to rescue the President of Iran, and generally fails to save his love interests.
  • James Bond may be too distracted by boobies to help you.
  • Jack Ryan is totally just an analyst.
  • John McClane is just an NYPD cop, and no one really ever believes him or helps him until it's too late.
  • Harry Tasker got his own family targeted.
 
Shelbyville Milhouse

Shelbyville Milhouse

Member
Oct 25, 2017
22,378
I'm not a sexy lady so James Bond wouldn't give a fuck about me
I'm not a bottle of vodka so Bruce Willis wouldn't care either
I have been critical of america in the past so Jack Bauer would probably waterboard me
I don't know who Archer is
I guess I'm going with Harry Tasker?
 
TheSkullPrince

TheSkullPrince

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,570
California
Easy fucking choice

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Nameless

Nameless

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,324
Jack Bauer with Chloe, Bill, and Tony providing support from CTU. Good as rescued as long as I don't do something boneheaded.

Hell with rogue Jack I'm as good as rescued.
 
TheSkullPrince

TheSkullPrince

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,570
California
BossAttack said:
Reminders:
  • Jack Bauer failed to stop the POTUS from being killed in a stealth bomber attack, failed to rescue the President of Iran, and generally fails to save his love interests.
  • James Bond may be too distracted by boobies to help you.
  • Jack Ryan is totally just an analyst.
  • John McClane is just an NYPD cop, and no one really ever believes him or helps him until it's too late.
Click to expand...
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Deleted member 7051

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,254
Bond is an easy pick out of those guys. We'd even have a brief yet impromptu romance before he disappears off into the sunset never to be seen again.
 
DrewFu

DrewFu

Attempted to circumvent ban with an alt-account
Banned
Apr 19, 2018
10,360
Jack Ryan would be cool.
 
Last edited:
HStallion

HStallion

Member
Oct 25, 2017
62,197
Get me John Matrix. Not only will he rescue me, he'll demolish the entire country in the process making sure they don't kidnap anyone ever again. All this while dropping one liners.
 
Vulcano's Assistant

Vulcano's Assistant

Member
Oct 29, 2017
13,470
As the hostage there is always a 50-50 chance to get shot in these action films. You make it alive but you still have to endure the pain.

Honestly just bring the goddamn dolphin.
 
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