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Zoobooks

Cantaim

Cantaim

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,315
The Stussining


Now your child can visit steamy jungles, grassy plains, and the dark depths of the oceans! To meet and learn surprising facts about the magnificent animals that live there. All through the captivating, colorful pages of Zoobooks, the publication that's specially created for young readers. Each monthly issue of Zoobooks is packed with breathtaking, full-color photos and scientifically accurate illustrations. Plus games and puzzles. Today, through this exclusive TV offer, you can get 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for the special price of $19.95! When you call and use your credit card, we'll include the Elephants issue as a gift! Plus, you'll also get this colorful collection of animal stickers and the Tiger Poster! So order Zoobooks today and send learning and fun to a child you love! To order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95, call 1-800-441-2400. When you call, we'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with your order. Call 1-800-441-2400. You must be 18 years or order to call.

This popped up on my YouTube feed and my cartoon network childhood of seeing this fucking ad at least 6 times a day forces me to share it with you all
 
m_shortpants

m_shortpants

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,201
I remember these commercials well. Then when I finally got my hands on these at the library, I also remember being somewhat underwhelmed.
 
Chubnasty

Chubnasty

Banned
Sep 26, 2019
712
This and Highlights magazine were something my parents never wanted to get me but video games were fine.
 
Fat4all

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,562
here
ORDER NOW TO GET THIS BONUS DINOSAUR POSTER FREE OF CHARGE, JUST PAY POSTAGE AND HANDLING
 
OP
OP
Cantaim

Cantaim

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,315
The Stussining
m_shortpants said:
I remember these commercials well. Then when I finally got my hands on these at the library, I also remember being somewhat underwhelmed.
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This is like the most satisfying thing to ever learn casue as I kid I knew it must have sucked. But damn that also sucks. What about the elephant issue? Did it live up to the hype?

PeakPointMatrix said:
As I read your text, it was in the exact enunciation forever etched into my brain. Holy shit.
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I feel your pain when I read the text I can still hear that music.
 
lmcfigs

lmcfigs

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
12,091
I feel like they were still airing this commercial until fairly recently. am I crazy?
 
lmcfigs

lmcfigs

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
12,091
it was this and moon shoes. I feel like I was seeing commercials for these over a decade after their expiration dates
 
NateDrake

NateDrake

Member
Oct 24, 2017
7,497
I wish I could feel the joy of being handed an Insects issue of Zoobooks. That mail delivery made that kid so happy.
 
rpm

rpm

Into the Woods
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
12,348
Parts Unknown
From Baby Take a Bow, to Curly Top, and Heidi. America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations and now, through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD of one of the brightest stars in film history! But you haven't Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black and white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection! 18 timeless films packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together. These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your friends and family. Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic family films beautifully restored in black and white and in color for just two payments of $24.99. Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free your paid order. This collection is not sold in stores, and only available through this exclusive TV offer. If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, imagine what they could do for you and your family today. Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love. And now, you can enjoy the original black and white and the beautifully restored color versions all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price. These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality. This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever. Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic in black and white, and in color, plus this collectible Shirley Temple photo all for just two payments of $24.99, plus $5.95 shipping and handling. This offer is not sold in stores so call now, rush delivery available.
 
Poppy

Poppy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,268
richmond, va
hmm, i actually dont really remember these commercials

i mostly remember commercials about REAL LIFE GIANT CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT
 
rpm

rpm

Into the Woods
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
12,348
Parts Unknown
Here they come! Clickity-clack down the track. It's LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Two of the greatest train videos we've ever offered. And now through this special TV offer, you get two videos for the price of one! You'll get: BIG trains, LITTLE trains, STEAM trains, DIESEL, FREIGHT, and PASSENGER trains. Even trains that blow through snow! Old trains, new trains, fast trains, slow trains, smoking trains, even trains from around the world. Plus toy trains, trolley trains, and much, much more--when you order LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Hear the whistle blow, feel the heat, smell the smoke as these titans of the track thunder on by. You'll love LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! And remember, this spectacular, two-tape set is not available in stores. So hop on board, and get two GREAT tapes for one GREAT price! Get LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS!
 
Firenoh

Firenoh

Member
Mar 7, 2019
3,467
rpm said:
From Baby Take a Bow, to Curly Top, and Heidi. America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations and now, through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD of one of the brightest stars in film history! But you haven't Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black and white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection! 18 timeless films packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together. These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your friends and family. Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic family films beautifully restored in black and white and in color for just two payments of $24.99. Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free your paid order. This collection is not sold in stores, and only available through this exclusive TV offer. If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, imagine what they could do for you and your family today. Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love. And now, you can enjoy the original black and white and the beautifully restored color versions all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price. These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality. This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever. Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic in black and white, and in color, plus this collectible Shirley Temple photo all for just two payments of $24.99, plus $5.95 shipping and handling. This offer is not sold in stores so call now, rush delivery available.
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Ah yes. My fondest and only memories of Shirley Temple.
I wonder if more people have watched this ad than have ever seen her movies.
 
rpm

rpm

Into the Woods
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
12,348
Parts Unknown
Attention parents and grandparents of young children. Gerber Life® is accepting applications for their affordable grow up plan! The grow up plan gives your child $10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, and doubles automatically to $20,000 dollars later, at no extra cost! Free information will be sent to parents and grandparents who call now! Help give your child a head start, for just pennies a day! Don't wait, call now for free information. Call 1-800-829-8866. Call now!

I really want to know how much these non-prime time ad slots cost if companies can afford to run these ads all the time but also can't be arsed to actually update the commercial more than once a decade
 
anaa

anaa

Unshakable Resolve
Member
Jun 30, 2019
1,554
rpm said:
Here they come! Clickity-clack down the track. It's LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Two of the greatest train videos we've ever offered. And now through this special TV offer, you get two videos for the price of one! You'll get: BIG trains, LITTLE trains, STEAM trains, DIESEL, FREIGHT, and PASSENGER trains. Even trains that blow through snow! Old trains, new trains, fast trains, slow trains, smoking trains, even trains from around the world. Plus toy trains, trolley trains, and much, much more--when you order LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Hear the whistle blow, feel the heat, smell the smoke as these titans of the track thunder on by. You'll love LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! And remember, this spectacular, two-tape set is not available in stores. So hop on board, and get two GREAT tapes for one GREAT price! Get LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS!
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nostalgia is one hell of a drug. who were buying these tapes lol
 
OP
OP
Cantaim

Cantaim

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,315
The Stussining
rpm said:
From Baby Take a Bow, to Curly Top, and Heidi. America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations and now, through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD of one of the brightest stars in film history! But you haven't Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black and white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection! 18 timeless films packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together. These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your friends and family. Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic family films beautifully restored in black and white and in color for just two payments of $24.99. Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free your paid order. This collection is not sold in stores, and only available through this exclusive TV offer. If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, imagine what they could do for you and your family today. Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love. And now, you can enjoy the original black and white and the beautifully restored color versions all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price. These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality. This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever. Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic in black and white, and in color, plus this collectible Shirley Temple photo all for just two payments of $24.99, plus $5.95 shipping and handling. This offer is not sold in stores so call now, rush delivery available.
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Oh fuck oh god I can actually see the ad in my head right now.


rpm said:
Attention parents and grandparents of young children. Gerber Life® is accepting applications for their affordable grow up plan! The grow up plan gives your child $10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, and doubles automatically to $20,000 dollars later, at no extra cost! Free information will be sent to parents and grandparents who call now! Help give your child a head start, for just pennies a day! Don't wait, call now for free information. Call 1-800-829-8866. Call now!

I really want to know how much these non-prime time ad slots cost if companies can afford to run these ads all the time but also can't be arsed to actually update the commercial more than once a decade
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I like to imagine they make literally just enough to validate keeping the ad going but too little to ever justify making a new one. Must be some amazing accounting tricks happening
 
rpm

rpm

Into the Woods
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
12,348
Parts Unknown
Cantaim said:
I like to imagine they make literally just enough to validate keeping the ad going but too little to ever justify making a new one. Must be some amazing accounting tricks happening
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Yeah, that's basically the conclusion I came to, but these numbers just don't add up in my head
Like, either people who watch Cartoon Network or whatever channel at non-prime hours really love train videos or Shirley Temple and this stuff is/was selling a lot more than I think it does, or I could buy an ad slot at non-prime hours with the change I have laying around in my car

Also, I found out (when going to the manufacturer's website to see how many of the fucking things they made) that the entire Lots and Lots of ______ series is available on Prime Video, not so TV exclusive anymore, huh
 
diakyu

diakyu

Member
Dec 15, 2018
17,525
I own a crap ton of these at my grandmother's house. They're actually really cool.
 
caff!!!

caff!!!

Member
Oct 29, 2017
3,029
I see it more as non-prime hours would have parents watching kids networks with children at home, and thus ads for something parents would know or be interested in. Same reason afternoon broadcast TV is full of lawyer and work comp ads
 

Euphony

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,594
I haven't thought of it in over a decade so why did this thread make me vividly remember the betty crocker bake and fill commercial. What is this witchcraft.

 
Firenoh

Firenoh

Member
Mar 7, 2019
3,467
Bonjour!
Zp_t3dceU0cyllPx7DdOjs8Ffk1YulT_9pba22-yQxw.jpg




Euphony said:
I haven't thought of it in over a decade so why did this thread make me vividly remember the betty crocker bake and fill commercial. What is this witchcraft.

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BAKED ALASKA
 

Deleted member 31817

Nov 7, 2017
30,876
Holy shit I completely forgot about those but as soon as I started reading the text it flooded back
 
Z-Beat

Z-Beat

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
31,837
Because of Zoobooks I'm now afraid of these things
giphy.gif


It ate that whole shark dude! That's like a magic trick!

Also while we're venturing into this nostalgia journey, this Kidz Bop commercial is hilarious in hindsight that Nelly's Dilemma is on this album. How the hell do you put that on a specifically child-friendly album? You want kids singing about how they waitin' to steal someone else's girl?
 
NoKisum

NoKisum

Member
Nov 11, 2017
4,913
DMV Area, USA
Am I the only one who noticed that almost every one of those call to order commercials that played on Cartoon Network had you call the same number? The number I saw listed in the OP was definitely in more than one commercial for more than one product.
 
PeakPointMatrix

PeakPointMatrix

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,040
rpm said:
Here they come! Clickity-clack down the track. It's LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Two of the greatest train videos we've ever offered. And now through this special TV offer, you get two videos for the price of one! You'll get: BIG trains, LITTLE trains, STEAM trains, DIESEL, FREIGHT, and PASSENGER trains. Even trains that blow through snow! Old trains, new trains, fast trains, slow trains, smoking trains, even trains from around the world. Plus toy trains, trolley trains, and much, much more--when you order LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Hear the whistle blow, feel the heat, smell the smoke as these titans of the track thunder on by. You'll love LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! And remember, this spectacular, two-tape set is not available in stores. So hop on board, and get two GREAT tapes for one GREAT price! Get LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS!
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How I wish I could reformat partitions of my brain. So many important things today I struggle to remember, but every inch of verbiage to this meaningless shit is caked on.
 
El Bombastico

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,026
rpm said:
Here they come! Clickity-clack down the track. It's LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Two of the greatest train videos we've ever offered. And now through this special TV offer, you get two videos for the price of one! You'll get: BIG trains, LITTLE trains, STEAM trains, DIESEL, FREIGHT, and PASSENGER trains. Even trains that blow through snow! Old trains, new trains, fast trains, slow trains, smoking trains, even trains from around the world. Plus toy trains, trolley trains, and much, much more--when you order LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! Hear the whistle blow, feel the heat, smell the smoke as these titans of the track thunder on by. You'll love LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS! And remember, this spectacular, two-tape set is not available in stores. So hop on board, and get two GREAT tapes for one GREAT price! Get LOTS and LOTS of TRAINS!
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So...I feel there's like a 70-80% chance that whatever sad soul actually ordered that video was sexually attracted to trains and would masturbate while watching it...
 
diakyu

diakyu

Member
Dec 15, 2018
17,525
El Bombastico said:
Christian parents.
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You know, I never thought of this. I grew up in a household that was Christian and I myself am as well. But growing up has made me realize that some people are way more into the kool aid than I am. It never even occurred to me that this was what got it off the ground, honestly it all makes sense now.
 
Arcia

Arcia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
661
Houston, TX
I remember my 3rd grade English class actually had a bunch of these in the classroom. I thought they were kinda lame, especially since we also had National Geographic magazines too.

Also, anyone remember this commercial? It's burned into my memory since it played like fifty times when I was watching cartoons before going to school in the morning:

Clickity clack down the track, it's LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS!


edit: oh shit, beaten. Someone else actually did remember lol
 
TheGreatDirector

TheGreatDirector

Member
Oct 26, 2017
11,034
Why didn't they film this again.
rpm said:
From Baby Take a Bow, to Curly Top, and Heidi. America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations and now, through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD of one of the brightest stars in film history! But you haven't Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black and white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection! 18 timeless films packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together. These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your friends and family. Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic family films beautifully restored in black and white and in color for just two payments of $24.99. Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free your paid order. This collection is not sold in stores, and only available through this exclusive TV offer. If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, imagine what they could do for you and your family today. Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love. And now, you can enjoy the original black and white and the beautifully restored color versions all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price. These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality. This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever. Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD collection. 18 classic in black and white, and in color, plus this collectible Shirley Temple photo all for just two payments of $24.99, plus $5.95 shipping and handling. This offer is not sold in stores so call now, rush delivery available.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS

IN MY SOUP
 
OP
OP
Cantaim

Cantaim

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,315
The Stussining
im Honestly surprised I was able to remember so many ads from back in the day lol. Like damn one nights rest later and I can still remember all the ads in this thread. Some word for word too
 
JimJamJones

JimJamJones

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,286
This just popped up for me on YouTube a couple days ago. I watched it again and because I'd seen it so many times as a kid, it was like I had seen it recently.
 
Jarrod38

Jarrod38

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,661
We had something similar to zoo books back in the day. All I remember was you could place them in a three ring binder.
 
Skiptastic

Skiptastic

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
3,681
I know this was a comment about the commercials, but I had Zoobooks growing up and they are awesome. I still have a big stack of them that I'm trying to introduce to my 4 year old, but my 2 year old keeps ruining them!
 
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