ERA Anonymous Confessions 2018 - One Year Old Forum, 20000 years old D-Pics

I'm contemplating about banging my cousin. I had a lengthy phase during my teenager days where I had the hots for her, going as far as hoping to marry her. She was smokin hot I kid you not.

Now she's divorced, has an 8 year old daughter and that's it. She's living by herself.

Should I or should I not? She's always been surprisingly nice to me. Moreover, I can't get the image of her pregnancy boobs out of my head before she got her daughter. It was a sight that would make anyone long for a glass of fresh milk.

I'm sure things would go more relaxed now that we're older, she's kinda disillusioned and we're all having our own places. Not sure if she knows about my interest. Definitely have no interest in a relationship, that would get too messy with having to explain it to family and all. But I think I'm reading the signs correctly. If that other confessor can bang his teacher, I'm sure I can bang my cousin. Objections?

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Hello Era,


I'm confessor #996 here again. Looks like my story wasn't well organized in some parts and I jumped a few details, so I'm going to try and clear most of it and talk about some details to help understand the situation better and also somethings that have happened the past 3 days.


I thought I'd give her my opinion on what I think was the best for her, so I told her to take some time for herself and to stop thinking about me, because the reason she didn't know what to do was because she thinks she's hurting me. I needed to know her decision, but it had to be from her before I told her what I wanted to do. Once she told me I told her that I wanted to fix this, that I didn't want to throw 3 years of relationship away just like that without trying to fix it first.


Forgot to explain this better. had a lot of things in my head at the time and still do.


Anyway


She actually did said it herself, When i gave her my opinion on what I thought she should do she thought about it and agreed to take some time, and that's when I stepped in and told her what I wanted to do, that was I wanted to fix our relationship. That's when she brought up the reasons the relationship was turning monotonous and how I realized I was the one at fault.


Why was the relationship monotonous, what does she want me to improve?


Note, she doesn't want me to change, she just wants me to improve, to be better. When I told her I'd change she replied by saying that people don't change that just improve.


Well, first of all, she likes to go out to different places and so do I but, my problem is, I hardly go out and I don't know good places to change things up, the weekends we were able to go out I'd always take her to the same movie theater or place to eat since she's kinda picky with food. When she did give me recommendations I'd usually turned her down, for example, going out to dance at a plaza or event, and not because I wouldn't enjoy it, but because I told myself I didn't know how to dance,

I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of her. Also to places like the beach I would always say no because I wasn't comfortable with my body, low self esteem and all that, plus my job, I felt that asking for a free day just to go to the beach would land me in trouble. There are many things a didn't do with her because of this.


I also didn't show her much affection by giving her small thoughtful gifts like chocolates or roses. Only time I would do that would be on her birthday and on valentines. The reason is because I'm shy as hell, it embarrasses. Pretty pathetic of me I know, this is one of the things that has shocked me. Something so simple and I didn't do a thing to change this behavior until I realized too late.


So this are the things I have to improve.


Between the time I created my first confession and it was posted:

I talked to one of my only friend that's been in his relationship with his girlfriend for 5 years, he gave me advice, he told me that's he's been trough the same problems, but that they always talked their problems out, that he doesn't believe in "giving time" and told me that to take it easy, everything is going to be okay, that the only reason we're both like this is because we're stressed with college, finals and projects, that we just have to endure a little longer, and that if I needed any help to ask him, and also that if he'd be down for a double date Where we could go to some places he goes With his girlfriend and mine, to help me change things up.


Also, I've been talking to her, she's kinda hurt at the moment, she says she confused and that she rarely says things like "baby" "love" because she's confused and is afraid that after everything we do, she still ends up not feeling anything again for me. Im saying this because she told me she asked advice to one of her friends, they told her that the ball is in her side of the court and that after some time she doesn't feel anything, to stop it right there and now.


And that's what happened Saturday, between yesterday and today well, I've been having some anxiety attacks, lost of appetite, tight stomach, nausea, trembling, sense of doom. I talked to her about it last night when she called, told her that this isn't the way I wanted the situation to go, that I didn't expect the situation to be this bad, and that I wanted to talk about it in person, but it was my mistake for bring it up early, she said it's okay that she knows how I feel because she's going trough the same.


Anyway we're going to see each other for an hour or so on Tuesday when we see each other at college and go out to spend time Wednesday since we both finish early that day. Today well, today I'm going back to work try to keep my head clear, that's all. I may make a personal appearance on the thread if I need to clear something up or anything since it's kinda nice and quiet and some are serious about the advice they give. It wouldn't be the same if this whole situation would have been it's own thread.


Also, cesspool, thanks a lot, for real. You know, for someone that says they have no relationship experience, your advice was pretty solid, and what you said is something I hope I can show her.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I hated the thought of confessing things but I think this deserves an anonymous confession. The trigger was this 25 year old talking to the BBC about his father cheating on his mother. My confessional has caveats, the other people in the story can't really talk about their side of things to defend themselves and I'm in my late 30s now and have come to terms with most of this. Part of the reason I want to confess this is because of my unique situation as a psychopath. I did not choose to be one, I do not kill people, I am moderately successful in life and I live a life where I try my best not to be overexposed and one of privacy (Something I can relate to in terms of Jojo 4's Kira but the rest of him is just batshit insane). I can turn my empathy on/off at will and I lack compassion but because I'm generally a nice person and wants society to progress - my friends to whom I have come clean initially disbelieve me but when I get into details of how they can come across they agree and then treat me like I'm a pet project. Whatever.

But I digress. My confession is about my parents. I feel nothing towards them today and in fact have cut them out of my life. My mother is a fairly self-centred woman who while loved by my friends just pulls up a facade. Whenever she contacts me, she doesn't contact me to ask me about myself, rather she contacts me to tell me what she needs from me. Usually money or something or the other. She's not the worst person in the world but she's affected me negatively in many ways. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. Never accepting or acknowledging her mistakes. She sensed something was wrong in me and her reaction to that and my growing intelligence was to put me down at every situation possible, while maintaining the facade that she's a great mother and I'm an excellent son that even if she doesn't give much praise to does well and she can take credit for it without putting in the effort. The effort she puts in was to limit me, initially being overprotective not because she feared for me but rather because if something were to happen to me others would blame her. Not to mention she still recollects and uses every mistake I've done in my life since I was a child of 3 against me in any discussion or when she's not getting what she wants. I know I have painted her negatively but she's not a terrible person, just not a great mother or wife to my dad.
Coming to my dad, now he's the most empathetic and loving person possible. When I was a child I hoped that my parents would swap places. My father doesn't have toxic masculinity issues - my mother does which is weird. My father cares what others think about but having been raised in his times he's been beaten and everything by his parents which resulted in him taking it out on me and then feeling awful about it and trying to make up for it. It's hard as a child and confusing but at the end of the day it wasn't the best but also not the worst. My father provided and cared for me in ways that I couldn't ask for and I'm thankful to him but over the years due to several things I can't say I care for him either but I do feel sorry for him. His one fatal flaw was that he cheated on my mother.

I was the one who found out about his correspondence to the other woman. I was not even a teen when I found out about it. I was afraid of losing my father and my mother used this to turn me against him. He was upset over my turning against him and making him feel like shit but my mother wasn't happy about what transpired with good reason but the fault was on both of their parts. I suspected it and expected them to divorce. They didn't My mother increasingly made my father feel guilty and anytime anything remotely went wrong she would use this and other things to turn it into a situation where a lot of shit was thrown at him. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and was increasingly less in the house. But out of some ridiculous sense of duty or whatever he felt like he should try and make it easier for her and they were still together. We had assumed the affair was over but it continued well into my 20s and I have a sibling from it. Externally I had to keep the facade that things were perfect as my parents expected me to do so. I have always been someone who kept secrets. In fact when I die there will be a lot of secrets that die with me and there will also be several people who know various bits and pieces while not knowing everything. So many people know parts of my life but not everything. Not the full picture. Not even my closest of friends.
Throughout my teens my parents relationship sort of reconciled but was strained and my relationship with my parents strained to some degree. Combined with depression it was not an easy period in my life. In my twenties I came to find out that the affair was still ongoing and I asked me dad to come clean but he didn't. I don't entirely blame him as my father was afraid of the issues being made worse by my mother. Of course due to a massive situation like a famous sitcom and my father being incarcerated everything came to light and I picked up the pieces. I helped my mother not out of love or compassion but out of duty.

I've reached a turning point in my life where I no longer have any room in my heart for her which has improved my personal life greatly. I also realised I do not have room for my father but that does feel like something I should feel negative about. Yet I don't. I've always been able to cut people out of my life or feel nothing once relationships end apart from a mild sense of remorse. What I do wish is to not be judged for this. But I find that people do judge and I dislike that. I want to cut them out like I feel without having to deal with judgement and just be left alone. This is something I need to come to terms with in general but I realise it would be for the best if I do so.

I'm not callous like my other sibling who never knew about any of this as he was my mother's golden child. Not because of skills or anything. Objectively I've always been better than him and in society he has had to live behind my shadow but to my mother he was perfect (until he decided to cut himself off from everyone himself). I never understood how despite me having logically done everything to make her life easy she never gave me the love and affection that he got simply for existing. Of course I got it from my father but as he wasn't always in our lives it made it harder to actually gain the benefits after a certain period of time. He has also not been aware of any of the situations that I've described before. In some ways he had a better life because he was not used as an emotional dump.

I don't have a lot to offer with this confession. I don't have drama like many people have. It's not a funny situation. I can say that many people cheat today and it's not a terrible thing. if there's no love please do not treat your children as a bargaining tool to get what you want in selfish ways. We fuck up our lives and our children's lives even if its unintentional, just don't add another layer to it.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Was working at this place for about a month or so. Low level, but respectable because of the departmet. Low level there is like mid level in another. Anyway. This girl, I'll call her Jane, gets hired around that time. She was 26, I was 21. Nothing too drastic in age, and I'm mentioning it cause its one of the factors in us getting together. We connected instantly, talking all the time, hanging out sometimes after work, could have gone either way into a friendship or a relationship. So about a month later, we get talking about relationships. Super chill, I said how I personally haven't had many cause unlike a lot of guys over here who just jump from club to club and screw anything in site I just don't want to wast time. I see it as an investment and life lesson, either good or bad, and I want to be able to say in the end its worth it no matter what. She found that commendable, and told me her deal. She has been single for the last year, was in a relationship for the prevvious six however. She wanted to have children young because she loved her relationship with her Mother, who had her at eighteen. I heard children and somehow didn't freak out, and that was a good thing because she followed up by saying how she realizes that's not feasible in the end. That right now she just wants what I want, a good partner to spend time with, doesn't matter if its months or years.
As you can probably guess, that meant we got together straight away. 2 great months passed by, and we realized we made the right decision. During that time I also met her sister, who started working with us a month later at the same job. I liked her as a friend, and you know she was my girlfriends sister so I never got into any thoughts of her beyond as a friend. Mary, lets call her that, was 20. A year younger than me, super outgoing, and fun to be around. One day we were hanging out at their place, they lived together you see, and as we were discussing random stuff, the sister makes an odd confession. She was really happy for us because as a couple we just radiated happiness, and she comments on how she wishes she could have the same thing. Normal stuff right? Well she then follows up by telling us how she came to really like me this last month. How despite knowing that we will eventually break up she really feels bad about her jealousy and what not.
I was naturally confused. Obviously she is not asking her sister to break up with me so she can try dating me, right? Well apparently not exactly. We start discussing things, and it went way better than I expected. First off we never really toyed with the idea of an open relationship. I really didn't feel like it cause I was with this great girl, not out of my league or anything but I'm not the sorta guy to have swathes of girls connect with me, and I felt it was already a lot on plate. She didn't really want to be with anyone else either, as thingsa were going great and we shared and took place in each others interests to a point where she might want someone else to do other things with. It was an allround great time. She did however say that if I felt the need or want to do something more because I was still at that age, she wouldn't mind. That was how we slid into discussing me dating her sister as well. I said she was a great friend and what not, while her similarities to her sister could make me see her the same way. I already kind of did despite me not admitting it. So after some more talking, we cosied up and came to the conclusion. Yes an open relationship is fine, and we have no problem if I was dating the both of em.
And that is my confesion. After 2 months of dating my first real girlfriend, I started dating her sister in tandem. They never made it weird, we stayed like that for 10 months, and I continued dating the younger sister for an additional 6 months. We had 3 ground rules:
1. Never doing weird stuff together.
2. Never having sex while the other sister is in the house.
3. Never disclosing too many details about our separate relationships.
Of course that last one was a bit loose, as they would tease me when hanging out together and what not, but it was fine. No one had issues if I was sleeping over with one or the other, I had a good time. and everyone left from the situation with a lot of lessons under their belts and became better people because of it. Would I do something insane like that ever again? Hell no, its a miracle things went as well as they did, and I am now certain I would never get into an open relationship again.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I come from an African nation but was lucky enough to live in different countries.

When I was 5 or so, my family and I went on a trip with some family friends (from another African nation). From what I remember, it was a pleasant enough trip except for one part. Their teenage daughter forced me to go down on her under the bed (yeah, I know...we both somehow fit). This 'arrangement' continued even after the trip ended, as we were kinda neighbors.

I had actually blocked it out my mind, until a few years ago...when my mom said that she had had a car accident and all those memories came rushing back. Karma? Maybe. But then I started really assessing that consequences of those actions and how it perhaps might have affected my relationships with women.

For the longest time, I was attracted to older women (not significantly older). And the fact that I had skipped a grade, meant that my peers were almost always older anyway. I was mostly described as independent, a good student, a nerd, and kind. But I had a tendency to fall for women who had a dominant personality, and this almost never worked out. Just a lot of teenage angst, and unrequited love. My mom is married, high-ranking professional, and really independent, and I suppose this had some influence on the type of women I also found interesting. A lot of my generation's mothers here tend to be stay-at-home moms or working in administrative (read: clerical) matters…so you can imagine.

Eventually, I did start dating women who were of the same age or younger. But, two other themes I recently uncovered so-to-speak, is that the women usually came from a single parent household and have had some sort of unspeakable crime committed against them in their childhood. I wonder if subconsciously, I have a hero complex, and seek these type of women. Which is crazy, because there's no way of knowing first off, right? Except for the fact, that I usually date friends.

Moreover, if I talk about the women that really affected me during my life we can pinpoint it to the following:

1. My first girlfriend, who was older, and just wanted me for sex;
2. My second, who passed away after being raped and killed;
3. One who I had a really good relationship with, but the long-distance (in Cuba) was affecting things. Neither cheated as far as I know [I broke things off after 3 years]. We're still good friends;
4. My best friend for about 10 years, who has always expressed some form of jealousy with regard to other women. Possibly the most complex relationship I've had even though we did not date (just kissed). Had a lot of elements of both the older and younger women. We don't really talk anymore, again my choice, but we met recently at a mutual friend's wedding. It felt like an abyss, and yet it felt like home.
5. A Lebanese woman, with whom I had an intense mental connection with, but ultimately could not date due to religion.
6. A Moroccan woman, who had renounced Islam, and had an eerily similar background to me. The timing was all off for this one, she was dating and I did not want to be a home-wrecker. I did get involved when they were on a 'break'.

I am in a happy relationship now with an amazing woman (younger and who fits both those aforementioned themes) who's blossoming into a beautiful, beautiful flower. But at the beginning of the relationship, I nearly messed all that up because I wanted a more dominant personality and I wasn't getting it from her. I suppose the analogy about Einstein's wives comes into play here.

I am no shrink, though I have gone to see one (and we had a good professional relationship during the years I lived in that country).

Did I mention I had a weird fascination with going down on women? The frequency has gone down ever since the memories came back though.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I just need to get this off my chest. I've been living a depressing life full of lies and it seems it's going to spiral out of control soon.

I hailed from a developing country and have been living abroad to study for quite some time now. One of the main reason why I move abroad is because I'm gay and my family are racists and homophobes. I have a cousin who is also gay, got found out last year. He has now become a constant topic of conversation in the family, and not in a good way. But, yeah, they are still my family. I still love them to a certain degree.

This year hasn't been a good year for me. I failed my courses and got kicked out of the University, which means I have to go back home soon. Just when I've finally gotten into a serious relationship. I haven't told my family about this either. Yet another lie added to the pile.

I also have to tell you that I have some anger problems and lack of self-esteem after dropping out of University. I feel like, if I go back home now, things would escalate. As I'm not the youngest guy anymore, they always bring up marriage, hetero marriage, whenever we talk over the phone. It's grating, but I can change the subject or make excuses to hang up the phone. I fear I would lose my shit when confronted directly about it.

Even if I'm able to find a job somewhere else, how long can I keep avoiding this marriage issue? Should I just come clean or should I keep living in my lies and lead an unhappy life?

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Here's a benign but kind of juicy confession that I need to get off my chest. I also wonder if other people feel the same way as me. I pretty much always prefer somebody going down on me to regular sex. I don't know why but I think it goes beyond the "I'm lazy" explanation into something more. I'm a guy, if that matters. I don't know exactly why, but I do. It hasn't caused any friction in my relationships so far since I am sensitive to it so I won't say anything about it.

Here's the tricky part. I'm think my current partner knows. Sometimes we'll watch porn together and lately he'll put on BJ porn 100 percent of the time. I'm pretty sure it's because of me and my desires. I don't want to push him away so what should I do? Am I a selfish person? Tell me I'm normal, ERA.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

My partner is draining me financially. We both work, but they're always getting themselves into situations where they need to "borrow" money from me. They "owe" me thousands of dollars so far. I even borrowed from my retirement to pay bills while they were between jobs because of their own decision. They've made very little effort at paying me back. I have spent most of my savings on them, and they feel entitled because "that's what people do in a relationship." Recently I gave them money to see the doctor finally regarding an ongoing, important situation, and they spent it on junk food and then asked to borrow $50 because they forgot a bill.

It is time to renew our lease. I'm considering parting ways. I have someplace to go but, without me, this person may end up homeless. I'm not sure what I should do. I guess I love them but I clawed and scraped to progress in my career and I'm not enjoying any of the spoils because of this leech. It makes me so upset, and I have talked to them about this but, again, this is "just what couples are supposed to do". My feelings aren't valid.


Is it wrong to leave someone if it's REALLY going to fuck their life up? We've been together for over 3 years.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

This isn't a confession, but rather, I'm looking for potential advice for another person under the guise of anonymity, and without the need of creating a thread.

An acquaintance of mine is in a very toxic relationship with her husband, and it is affecting her and their children. From what I have heard, the husband is very verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive to her and their oldest child. The other two children, I'm not too sure, and I don't think there is any physical abuse. Just constant yelling, arguments, and insults. The husband and oldest get into fights often, and neither are afraid to say that they hate each other. I recently heard that the oldest is currently receiving therapy after a suicide attempt. This is in the US, so I'm not sure of their insurance situation either since my acquaintance does not receive it through her employer, and the husband has a tendency to quit jobs out of the blue. My acquaintance makes around $15/hour, so there are periods of time in which they are surviving off of credit cards as a result.

The obvious solution for my acquaintance is to take the children and leave. However, she doesn't make enough money to live off of, especially with three children. Living with family would be an option, but this is the other obstacle; my acquaintance is not a US citizen. She is a green card holder and all of her family reside in Europe. She met her husband while he was in the military and stationed in her country. Anyway, she wants to take her kids and go back to her family, but that would be up to the court to decide. Not being a US citizen, she is under the impression that she wouldn't have much power in court, joint custody would defeat the purpose of getting away from her husband, and she will not leave her children behind with him. There is also affording legal fees. At this point, she is toughing it out until her youngest is 18. I'm not sure how old the youngest is, but my guess is about 12.

A recommendation was for my acquaintance to document all abusive situations; either writing in a journal, recording video/audio, and use that against him, but I'm not sure how that is going. I also am not entirely sure if she has ever brought up the abuse to any authorities, counseling, etc.

That said, if anyone versed in US law when it comes to divorce and custody (particularly with a foreign national taking custody and leaving to another country) have any suggestions, or anything at all, I would love to hear them. I can't imagine a family suffering like this without a way out, and those who know of the situation really don't have any idea what to do other than offer support.

Thanks,

anon

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I feel like I may be bisexual, but I'm not really sure. I know for certain that one thing I really enjoy is cross-dressing. I get aroused when watching gay and bi porn. I browse some sites and am sometimes really tempted to contact some of the people on there, even though I know it would probably be a really bad idea. Is it possible to like all of these things, yet somehow not actually be bi and end up just making a fool of myself if I was ever in a near-intimate encounter with another guy and just froze up?

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I'm a tall male in his 40s, married for 10+ years with a young child.

My wife is a very selfish & boring lover, when we have sex it is missionary-style 90% of the time and she lays motionless and doesn't engage ever. I can hear her mentally counting the minutes until I'm done. She's so completely vanilla it hurts. I honestly believe that she thinks doggie style is immoral.

I spend my commute and work day looking at adult sub-reddits on my phone and wanting to try EVERYTHING. Anal (for me, she would never), role play, diaper play, BDSM.

I have also discovered that I mentally identify with the women in porn more than men, which has lead to an overall sense of gender dysphoria. I would give anything to be a short young woman, but I'm trapped by my family commitments. If I were single and younger I would get HRT and sex re-assignment surgery TOMORROW. I love looking at the dresses and hair styles that I would have if I were female.

I am also a closeted furry.

My outlet for these feelings is to hang out on Reddit and Discord pretending to be a woman in her 20s, swapping furry porn and hentai. There is a specific female cartoon character that I identify as and when these feelings first started I bought a similar outfit and wig with the express purpose of dressing up to see what it would feel like one weekend when I was alone. Looking at myself in the mirror, even as an obvious full grown man in a girl's outfit, I felt SO RIGHT that instead of getting turned on and masturbating as I had planned, I sobbed all night and threw everything away the next day. I came close to ending my life that weekend and I think about suicide a lot, in the hopes that I might be reincarnated as a woman.

I also hate my child. HATE her. I never wanted children but everyone says that's what you're supposed to do with you life. I feel no emotional connection to her, I feel closer to my dogs. I hate everything about being a parent. When she was an infant and I was up with her all night, I used to fantasize about smashing her head against the wall. I purposely work overtime to avoid being home, largely because I get to sit at work and look at porn instead of hear fucking shrieking and cartoons.

I've never told a soul any of this. My furry / hentai friends all think I'm a bi-woman in a poly relationship. My family thinks I'm a happily married man (I don't have any friends irl). I just want to be a cute, kinky girl who spends her evenings doing camshows with her bad dragon dildos and a tailplug.

I hate everything about my life.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I'm a lazy sack of shit, I've never been able to make myself truly work hard for anything unless I've had to, I don't know how to change this, and it's ruining my life.

I've gotten counseling, I have an extensive support network of friends and family, privilege up the wazoo, and I'm still a lazy ass bastard. It comes down to me at this point to suck it up and start spending effort on things, but because I'm lazy, I'm too lazy to work on my harmful habits.

It might not count for shit, but if you, the reader, are truly working hard for something, especially for something you love, you have my respect.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...