So this is about to be to petty rants as a Gamma Ray Burster is to a birthday candle.
But can we talk beyond the toast -- to the kitchen itself ?
That's a nice kitchen. Decent espresso maker. Lower end microwave and that's not a great toaster. But if that was my kitchen, I'd be like "daaaaamn. I have a nice-ass kitchen! I made it to the upper middle class maybe but chintzed on the appliances just a bit."
But that's not Zuckerberg's kitchen. (Maybe it is but that would ruin my rant) It's a rented or borrowed set. Designed to look nice but not gross or ostentatious. Mark Zuckerberg has lots of houses obviously, as I would if I had his money. Mark Zuckerberg's maids quarters probably have a nicer kitchen.
But I wouldn't pay $30 million dollars to snatch up four or five surrounding luxury homes just to knock them down get a bigger privacy fence like he did in Palo Alto.
And I certainly wouldn't pay THREE times the market rate for a $10 million townhome right slap bang on the topmost edge of the most offensively gentrified neighborhood in San Francisco - the Mission - a place where San Francisco's amazing Latino community
used to live.
A few still do but the working and shadow economy class immigrant backbone of the now excruciatingly trendy and hipster neighborhood was already starting to look like a Disney epcot recreation of itself ten, fifteen years ago. If you want Mexican food it is AMAZING. If you're a Mexican line chef cooking that food, you can no longer afford to live there at all.
His neighbors, already mostly well off tech people or lucky hardworking OG residents - often can't park anywhere near their houses because of his massive fleet of suburbans and limos for his security detail - and their property taxes were readjusted as soon as the paint was dry on his exquisite remodel - something that continues to push out old ladies who thought paying off the mortgage in 1981 was the beginning of a safe retirement. That happens everywhere in San Francisco but the Mission is among the hardest hit in that specific regard.
Works great for the wealthy because it accelerates the gentrification and makes their neighbors richer and the houses nicer and that's the cycle.
I'm a hypocritical jerk here - I partially contributed to the gentrification of San Francisco in the late 90s early oughts by buying the only small condo we could afford in an undesirable corner that's now desirable.
But if I had Zuckerberg money I wouldn't spend it pretending to be one of the cool young hipsters just managing to afford their first place in the Mission - which when the gentrification started became the poster child for the negative phenomenon. Every single adult in San Francisco is aware of that. It's on the front page of the hip and the terrible newspaper.
And there are a dozen more capacious already -rich spots he could have chosen, from SeaCliff to Tiburon to the array of anonymous luxury on Nov Hill and the Marina and on and on.
He could have gotten more for less in the much, much ritzier Pacific Heights. But it's kinda the real estate version of an edwardian-bearded sleeve tattoo blond haired Yale grad with fresh whitewalls on his vintage handmade lowrider bicycle, grabbing some civet espresso at this one secret spot. He moved there to be
cool.
It shouldn't bother me that it's not really his kitchen, but it does. It's none of my business what he does with his money.
I also get irrationally upset at tv commercials where they pretend a group of attractive or quirky professional actors are "real customers" who apparently are too dumb to realize the Chevy sedan isn't a Mercedes S-Class because there's a sticker hiding the steering wheel badge.
Ironically if he literally recreated Tony Stark's cliff house I'd be down with that. Jealous even. I don't begrudge him super yachts or helicopters or bonsai live Tigers, but Dolores? Come on dude.