Subpar Scrub A lot of things. Let's start with the obvious, fear of rejection. I spend more time thinking about it than actually doing. I also don't have many opportunities to meet someone. (My friends won't help me with that either. gotta get that puss tho, right b0ss? /s)
I don't know what to look for in a partner, so it makes it harder; My criteria have changed a lot too. I don't drive so I can't meet up unless someone picks me up. I also worry about my interactions with women because...well, you know. I have two crazy women in my life (mom and grandma) kinda put me off of dating. If I don't meet anyone like them I'll be good.
Social anxiety plays a role too...
Aside from going to anime conventions, I guess not.
As a social anxiety sufferer and dealing with rejection, I sometimes try to think, "So what?" It's surprisingly helpful, and reminds me that I really don't have much to worry about. And unfortunately, it can be difficult to know what sort of person you would like to date without actually dating. You have to get out there and socialize.
Working on your social anxiety will be one of the most important things to do in your life, honestly. I have missed out on and have held myself back from so many things because of my anxiety. Remember that it will be frustrating and difficult, but overall rewarding. It took therapy and SSRIs to really accelerate getting better. I also found this book very, very helpful when it came to communicating with people:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245921/?tag=era0f0-20
Any reason you don't drive? And is there good public transportation near you?
Anime conventions can be a great place to meet ladies. Like Potater said, you could try and find a meet-up happening at the convention (pretty easy, since there's usually Facebook groups, forums, etc where people communicate before even meeting). Do you enjoy books, comics, movies? All potential hobbies for meeting women. It also never hurts to try and start up a new hobby. If there's a hiking group, that's a great way to be around people with no distraction, and it's healthy! I sometimes find myself loosening up a lot more on hikes, because the physical activity 1.) Boosts those feel-good serotonin levels, and 2.) Wearing myself out means that it's more difficult for anxiety to take hold.
If you're in school, join a club. School is a valuable asset for meeting and dating. Don't squander it! I'm terrible at making new friends, but I've met two awesome new people within the last two years just from classes.
Also anxiety comes from lack of experience.
I just have to add not always. All my jobs have required being sociable, and while the practice has helped tremendously, I still find my anxiety creeping in, and feeling like I'm wearing a mask of sorts. Overall though, lack of experience does make the anxiety worse.
So I went on a first date with a girl from tinder yesterday, met in a nice area with many small bars in alleys.
We met around 9:20pm and stayed for about 2 hours cause she said she had to wake up early tomorrow.
Anyway, I couldn't read her too clearly and didn't feel as if we really had a connection, but I gave her a ride home at the end and we kissed for a lil bit before she got out of the car (she lives with 6 other people in her apartment, including a roomate so no way I'm getting invited over there).
Two questions:
1. Would you consider a date successful if it ended in kissing even though I myself didn't think our chemistry was very good?
2. Would you guys suggest texting her something like "i had a good time/nice meeting you" and setting up a 2nd date already for the weekend?
I do want a second meeting but I felt like she didn't really open up, but maybe just because it was a first date or something.
1.) Not necessarily. I've read countless dates here that end in a kiss or making out, and it doesn't go anywhere.
2.) Yeah, I think it's worth it if you do. First dates can be awkward. If she doesn't really open up any more, then eh, I say it might not be worth it after that.
