Yeah like we're really close, like I said we're brothers. I just think the issue is that I'm physically attracted to him and he's one of the best friends so that muddies the water when it comes to the feelings I feel.
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I'm not in the same situation yet but I fully understand how you feel :-/
There is this straight guy that me and my friends met at a night club we are going now and then. He is really a cool married (!) guy who has no issues with dancing with guys (me). Last summer again in that club he heard from a friend of mine I am gay. His reaction was "that's cool, I have zero problems with that. I could kiss a guy and it wouldn't bother me". And just like that he kissed me. My first kiss with a man (I know I'm late, whatever).
We danced that night and had great fun.
I was thinking about the kiss weeks later but I knew he was just having fun. I didn't have any hopes or desires. It was just the kiss I couldn't forget. I liked it. Not because of the men behind the lips.
Two months later we met at the same club.
I was so wasted I remember like 10% of the whole night.
I remember kissing and dancing with him. At some point, I remember, he touched me between my legs. I don't have any other memories. Thankfully at some point my mind was clearer and i found my friends in another hall and we left.
Next day my friends told me it was to much for them to stay with us. That's why they went to the other hall (+ another friend was behaving shitty). And they told me that the straight guy was also crazy drunk.
Me and my friends, and that straight guy will be at that night club next month.
I don't want to stop going there and miss the fun with my friends.
I'm not sure why that guy did all of that with me. Does he want to try a guy? Is he unhappy in his marriage?
I'm so confused right now.
The good guy in me says: stay away. You don't want to (possibly) destroy a marriage.
The 29 year old virgin in me says: take your chance. You are single and not responsible for the mistakes others do.
And I'm also angry about the whole situation. Why must he be straight & married? After all these years of waiting and searching for a gay men who is attracted to me, why did I have to be in this situation with this guy?
I was thinking about meeting him at the club next month and talk about what happened. But it could be a weird talk with unpleasant consequences.
Maybe it's the best to just see what happens.
What boggles my mind is: what if he wants to have sex? Will I be strong enough to do the right thing and say no? Or horny enough to forget what's right? Will I regret it?
What is the right thing to do anyways?
He is drinking and partying all the time without his wife. He told me once his wife didn't like all of this, that's why she stayed home and give him permission to have fun.
But, how much fun did she allow? Wouldn't his wife know that he could be (or is?) having sex with others?
Sorry for the long post. I read PixelatedDonut's post and had the strong need to talk about it.
I would understand if you would ignore my post. Any advice is of course welcome.
I think it is possible to stay friends and forget the feelings.
I had a crush on a new colleague once. I was really physically attracted to him but I learned he was straight, married and had a child. (If you have read my post above: I know I have a problem with married straight guys and I'm not really in a state to give advices^^ but I wanted to share this, so please continue..).
Even after I knew I was never going to have a chance with him, I had my problems keeping my eyes off him.
But: one day he told me something about himself I really disliked. Something I find unattractive about men.
And that helped! Every time I found myself having thoughts about him I reminded myself about that and after a few weeks, I stopped feeling attracted to him. He is still hot, but now I can see him as a good friend from work and not as a hot guy I'd like to have sex with.
I know every case is different. Ending the friendship might be the better choice in your case. Maybe you need just more time to process.
I saw the title and I was like "I was hoping RE would stay pure for a little while longer".
Oh well. :P
See the part thats fucking me up is I've never expected us to ever do anything even kiss. But it went from me giving him a bj, to him sucking me off, then saying he was going to fuck me. I was a virgin before this so it took some time for me to open up lol and he stayed hard the whole time. I'm just so confused about everything.
Did he know it was your first time?
You said he knew you had a crush on him. So I get the feeling he took advantage of you.
I am in a bad mood after seeing an ad against marriage equality near where I live.
Though it seems to have been put up too late to actually count since it's a postal survey and they won't arrive early enough to be counted at this point so yes please by all means do vote no.
Though it seems to have been put up too late to actually count since it's a postal survey and they won't arrive early enough to be counted at this point so yes please by all means do vote no.
Tomorrow is my first day off in two weeks. Time for some alcohol tonight. How's everyone? Been so busy between work and Mario taking up my time I haven't been posting that much.
Cut ties. Run away. Sever.
IMO you can't grow as long as this person is in your life.
Sounds like you have to go have sex with other people. Nothing makes you feel more detached from someone than to have sex with someone else.
Seriously, no need to stop being friends, that would be awful. The thing about crushes is that they are also way more superficial than we think they are.
Hi all. I don't know where to start. Help!
I'm friends with this co-worker who is a really nice guy, maybe the most funny person I've met. I know him for 3 years and never ever had a romantic thought about him. Until some months ago. We did start hanging out and now we're always together and can't stop texting when at home. He's just so charming. Needless to say I'm crazy in love with him.
The problem: He's supposed to be straight. But everyone and their moms at work say he's a closeted gay who is in a relationship with a woman to disguise himself. I myself think he is gay. He is the gayest person I've met in my life, a bit flamboyant (funny how this type never appeased to me and now here I am). There's nothing I can do to make this guy come out for me, in fact I'm starting to doubt he is really gay. Maybe he's one of those straight guys who looks gay.
I'm another closeted gay, but only bc I don't have a boyfriend. I want a man to stand by my side, then I can come out to everyone and I thought this friend would be this guy. I think he noticed my interest because I never felt rejected and he is as touchy as I am (our poor hands are always in contact with each other bodies).
Our "relationship" is so obvious all of our co-workers are talking about it now. Some straight up asked me if we are boyfriends. God knows how I want to say "Yes! He's my guy!"
The solution: Is there any? Everytime we're together and I think about saying those words, I'm petrified. How can I confirm if this guy really feel the same about me or it's better to accept he's straight and a really nice guy and is not flerting with me? And our friendship is fantastic, will have to make a choice if I tell him, right?
Also, not a native speaker, forgive the mistakes
I'm friends with this co-worker who is a really nice guy, maybe the most funny person I've met. I know him for 3 years and never ever had a romantic thought about him. Until some months ago. We did start hanging out and now we're always together and can't stop texting when at home. He's just so charming. Needless to say I'm crazy in love with him.
The problem: He's supposed to be straight. But everyone and their moms at work say he's a closeted gay who is in a relationship with a woman to disguise himself. I myself think he is gay. He is the gayest person I've met in my life, a bit flamboyant (funny how this type never appeased to me and now here I am). There's nothing I can do to make this guy come out for me, in fact I'm starting to doubt he is really gay. Maybe he's one of those straight guys who looks gay.
I'm another closeted gay, but only bc I don't have a boyfriend. I want a man to stand by my side, then I can come out to everyone and I thought this friend would be this guy. I think he noticed my interest because I never felt rejected and he is as touchy as I am (our poor hands are always in contact with each other bodies).
Our "relationship" is so obvious all of our co-workers are talking about it now. Some straight up asked me if we are boyfriends. God knows how I want to say "Yes! He's my guy!"
The solution: Is there any? Everytime we're together and I think about saying those words, I'm petrified. How can I confirm if this guy really feel the same about me or it's better to accept he's straight and a really nice guy and is not flerting with me? And our friendship is fantastic, will have to make a choice if I tell him, right?
omg that doesn't make you terrible. That makes you normal. I crush on straight women all the time. Straight guys crush on me. It happens. Don't beat yourself up!
Ah straight crushes. My story: I know this guy a few months ago at the gym. He was very...flirty and touchy-feely to me even when I barely knew him. The first few days we knew each other, he asked me to give him a back massage, which I didn't object since I had no feeling for him back then. But as we get closer, we ended up being flirty with each other, poking each other with kung-fu moves, slamming into each other, and the weirder part is where he has this tendency to take a long time while dressing up post gym session. Often times I'd walk over to his area expecting him fully dressed but he's still butt-naked toweling himself, flashing his ass to me. I'm embarrassed and to respect his privacy, I always try to cover my eyes even though I appreciate the sight.
Few months gone by and I realised that I now have feelings for him. I am looking forward to our days together and there was a point post gym where he showed me his brand-new Switch and that time felt like a BF to BF moment. The thing is, he now kind of acted distant. He can't look at me in the eyes when we talk to each other and there's this awkwardness between us. People that we know started making fun of us asking things like "Are you guys going to train in the bedroom after this?" to which he and I blushed and he mumbled something. The thing is he said he had a GF which he broke up with so I don't think he's gay. Plus he feels distant lately, which makes me not want to get closer for fear of getting hurt. I'm guessing he now realised that I have feelings for him and have gone cold at the idea of being with another guy. Why do things have to be so complicated?
Few months gone by and I realised that I now have feelings for him. I am looking forward to our days together and there was a point post gym where he showed me his brand-new Switch and that time felt like a BF to BF moment. The thing is, he now kind of acted distant. He can't look at me in the eyes when we talk to each other and there's this awkwardness between us. People that we know started making fun of us asking things like "Are you guys going to train in the bedroom after this?" to which he and I blushed and he mumbled something. The thing is he said he had a GF which he broke up with so I don't think he's gay. Plus he feels distant lately, which makes me not want to get closer for fear of getting hurt. I'm guessing he now realised that I have feelings for him and have gone cold at the idea of being with another guy. Why do things have to be so complicated?
I definitely interpreted the top center image as something NSFW.
Me too, the worst is one guy I used to work under politely tell me he not interested. 7 years later, although hes married with kid now , we sometimes still text each other ask how thing going and send birthday cards and such. He is the worst!
Definitely the most beautiful place in Europe. Plus, the people there really seem grounded, a bit like the Dutch and I like that a lot :)
The best part of being bisexual is knowing that nobody of either gender or orientation is crushing on you ✌
I wasted five years of my life being in love with a straight guy. It makes me quite angry to think back on all the time wasted on him, but I know it's hard to control our feelings.
Things eventually came to a head when he started seeing one of my female friends, causing this utterly horrible, jealous trait to appear in my personality which I've never had before, and yeah it made me do and say some nasty things which I'm not proud of whatsoever.
I've not been friends with him since then which is a good thing. The thing is I don't know why I loved him because I knew what an arsehole he could be, he was always cheating on his girlfriends. I know he recently got married and I discovered a year later they're now divorced for reasons I don't know, but I can make a good guess why.
Things eventually came to a head when he started seeing one of my female friends, causing this utterly horrible, jealous trait to appear in my personality which I've never had before, and yeah it made me do and say some nasty things which I'm not proud of whatsoever.
I've not been friends with him since then which is a good thing. The thing is I don't know why I loved him because I knew what an arsehole he could be, he was always cheating on his girlfriends. I know he recently got married and I discovered a year later they're now divorced for reasons I don't know, but I can make a good guess why.
I see straight man as eye-candy only. Knowing a guy is not interested is enough for me to move on. There is no lack of hot gay guys, there is no need to waste time chasing str8s.
That's basically me as well, I've had straight crushes in the past but they were mostly me hoping they'd be gay. Ain't nobody got time for that now. Well I'm closeted so I can't date either way but still lmfao
Interesting story. Considering you have a great relationship with him, you could take this chance to come out only to him, no need to tell him you like him a lot for now. Just tell him you want to share your "secret" with him because you consider him a great friend you can trust with.
What will happen next, nobody knows. Maybe he comes out as well. Maybe he does not come out then but also comes out one day later. Or never does, but he really appreciates you sharing you are gay with him, that could even make you closer friends.
Just tell him what you feel if he comes out too. If you do it before, he could feel embarrassed, and your friendship could be destroyed.
I don't know if these are the best advices, but I hope they could help somehow.
The thing is, those gay guys might be hot as hell but if you connect with someone (even knowing that there's little to no chance you can bond and build something together) that's more inviting than any set of abs or belly or whatever catches your eye at first. It usually takes me a while to throw off any feeling of infatuation I have in those cases before I can even think of moving on.
There are hot gays with no brains and hot gays with brains too, you just need to search harder. I personally don't look for a connection or any attempt of building anything together, i'm only looking for a good time, my personal life is a total NO for anything more than that (i'm not closeted, i'm totally out, but i care for a disabled person and that is not going to change anytime soon and having a relationship is incompatible with it - i tried... MANY times!).
It wasn't really about those hot gay guys being intelligent as well as hot. It was about how when you get obsessed over someone you don't really care for anything besides them. Even if they don't care for you. :p
After sleeping on it and thinking some more,PixelatedDonut, I gotta agree with the others: cut ties with that guy. This relationship is too toxic to do anything but harm to you now. It'll hurt but you'll be all the better for it, in time. :)
I can totally relate. Gym friendships are always complicated. I once thought that a friend of mine was coming on to me from how comfortable and friendly he was at the gym. He ended up realizing that I had feelings, and he told me straight up that whatever our relationship had evolved into wasn't romantic. I was hurt of course, but we have remained friends. He was also dealing with other issues in his life, and his family wasn't welcoming to a gay lifestyle.
So you have to remember that life can be complicated. Sometimes people are grappling with things that they aren't quite ready to deal with. Other times, it's just that straight men are confusing. When it comes down to it, you're better off finding someone you can more fully be yourself with.
Oh my god, this is the worst. Happened to me as well, but thankfully I was strong enough to hide it from both. The good thing is, those feelings really start to fade after you get your shit together and distance yourself emotionally for a while. And then you realise how superficial your feelings were and that he's just an ordinary person.
Yes there it is. Exactly this.
One of my friends last night pointed out I was looking really thicc. That compliment rejuvenated my skin and closed my pores.
For me it's the opposite: they are a sexual fantasy of mine (I never fall in love with them though)
Sorry, it looks like I'm a little late to the party. Thanks for putting together this community! :)
- Your gender / sexual identity? (Preferred pronouns?) - Transgender woman, feminine pronouns (she/her)
- Your sexual orientation? - Straight trans female, who was asexual my whole life before beginning HRT
- Where Do You Live? - Born & still living in east Tennessee
- Profession or Career interest? - I'm a 2D artist and interested in animation
- Favorite video games? - Nintendo fan (Metroid, Mario, Zelda, Smash Bros)
So when I was in college, I had a crush on a straight guy who was a good friend as well.
I remember that everytime he sat down in class in front of me, I couldn't stop looking at him. And everytime I he sat next to me, those moments were wonderful as hell. I had lots of fun moments with this guy, until once I realised I had a crush on him. Something inside of me thought he was gay, but he had a gilfriend.
One month later after he broke with his girl, we both and some others went to a party. Considering he was single by then, I thought I had chances there to end the night with him. But nope, he used to dance and filter with many girls, and he was really drunk. I was jealous all night, and when I left home, I got depressed, very depressed, that I even stopped eating. I lost 8 kg (18 pounds) in two weeks, and looked very sick.
Next year I went abroad as an exchange student. I used to chat with him once a week by internet. I still felt something about him, but I didn't suffer any more. He even told me he started dating another girl, but this time that didn't hurt me. Going abroad was the best thing that happened to me, it was the only way to move on.
Nowadays, he's still with this girl, they are not married but have been living together for 7 years. We both live in different cities, and occasionally meet. Whatever, I still have some feelings inside about him, and they come out everytime I'm with him, or whenever he uploads a picture on Facebook. I don't know if I will ever stop feeling anything about him. I still have hopes there's a gay side inside of him.
Whatever, I'm afraid this guy was, is, and will always be the true love of my life, in an impossible relationship. Those days I was still in the closet, and I was afraid that if I ever came out to him, that would ruin our friendship. And now I regret it. It's true that telling my feelings to him probably wouldn't end well, and I would suffer a lot after that, but the contrary could have happened. I mean, I already had the "no" beforehand, and that could still be "no", or could have turned out into a "yes".
I'm out of the closet nowadays. I haven't told him my sexuality in person, but I have posted some stuff in Facebook that could make him conclude I am. Those are stuff like LGBTQ demonstration announcements, or articles about our right's violations; some of them have been shared by him, and I have shared some of those from him too. He's a very open minded guy, and probably knows it already, but this is just a lost cause now.
I had some crushes on some other guys after him, but not as deep as the one I had with him. There are many great guys outside, but he will always be "the guy, my guy".
Love sucks. Really.
I remember that everytime he sat down in class in front of me, I couldn't stop looking at him. And everytime I he sat next to me, those moments were wonderful as hell. I had lots of fun moments with this guy, until once I realised I had a crush on him. Something inside of me thought he was gay, but he had a gilfriend.
One month later after he broke with his girl, we both and some others went to a party. Considering he was single by then, I thought I had chances there to end the night with him. But nope, he used to dance and filter with many girls, and he was really drunk. I was jealous all night, and when I left home, I got depressed, very depressed, that I even stopped eating. I lost 8 kg (18 pounds) in two weeks, and looked very sick.
Next year I went abroad as an exchange student. I used to chat with him once a week by internet. I still felt something about him, but I didn't suffer any more. He even told me he started dating another girl, but this time that didn't hurt me. Going abroad was the best thing that happened to me, it was the only way to move on.
Nowadays, he's still with this girl, they are not married but have been living together for 7 years. We both live in different cities, and occasionally meet. Whatever, I still have some feelings inside about him, and they come out everytime I'm with him, or whenever he uploads a picture on Facebook. I don't know if I will ever stop feeling anything about him. I still have hopes there's a gay side inside of him.
Whatever, I'm afraid this guy was, is, and will always be the true love of my life, in an impossible relationship. Those days I was still in the closet, and I was afraid that if I ever came out to him, that would ruin our friendship. And now I regret it. It's true that telling my feelings to him probably wouldn't end well, and I would suffer a lot after that, but the contrary could have happened. I mean, I already had the "no" beforehand, and that could still be "no", or could have turned out into a "yes".
I'm out of the closet nowadays. I haven't told him my sexuality in person, but I have posted some stuff in Facebook that could make him conclude I am. Those are stuff like LGBTQ demonstration announcements, or articles about our right's violations; some of them have been shared by him, and I have shared some of those from him too. He's a very open minded guy, and probably knows it already, but this is just a lost cause now.
I had some crushes on some other guys after him, but not as deep as the one I had with him. There are many great guys outside, but he will always be "the guy, my guy".
Love sucks. Really.
I'll drink to that!
(No really, it's Friday, I'm getting lit tonight. I need it.)
I have seen him checking out other guys, which is why I ended up letting myself falling for him. But at the same time, I knew that knowing his background, his family will likely not approve if he ends up being gay. So I never seriously entertained the idea of us being a couple. It was more wishful-thinking. I just hate this sudden awkwardness between us and want things to go back the way it was.
Awww, I get that. My friend and I had some initial awkwardness after as well. Honestly, perhaps just give him some space. You take a break as well! Both of you are clearly feeling a jumble of different things. Go out and explore other men for a bit, and maybe go back to the friendship when you aren't feeling as attached. It took me a long time to fully overcome my feelings, but once I did he and I were able to enjoy each other's company without feeling awkward or apprehensive.
Try being upfront with him too. Tell him how you feel, and that you need some time to yourself.
On a side note, I've found myself thirsting after my gay coworker. We semi-flirt, but I always try and hold back because he's in a relationship. Everytime I'm around him and we talk about sex or a cute boy, my hormones skyrocket. Thank god for tight underwear.
I'm definitely not trying to be a home wrecker, I could never do that to someone. I wouldn't mind a threesome or something...but that's not a question I see myself actually asking him.
I'm definitely not trying to be a home wrecker, I could never do that to someone. I wouldn't mind a threesome or something...but that's not a question I see myself actually asking him.