Multiple people have answered this already. You and Chloe are not the same people nor are you in the position as she was.
Don't keep pushing this.
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Chloe Dykstra Posts About Domestic/Sexual Abuse at the hands of Chris Hardwick
- Thread starter Senator Toadstool
- Start date
Don't keep pushing this.
The only part of it that doesn't fit the narrative, which I'm not doubting in any way, is the drinking thing. I mean, yeah, if your SO is a recovering alcoholic, it's pretty important to a relationship that the support system be there, and if her drinking could cause him to relapse, I don't think asking her to not drink (at least around him) is that unreasonable. I mean, if that's a deal breaker, then call it off, but I don't view it as necessarily being "abusive" on his end. Nothing else I've read is remotely excusable though. He's always struck me as a phony starfucker p.o.s. and I don't really find any of this all that shocking.
Yep.
Who the fuck is Sandy Netheron and why should people listen to her?
Man, the full thing is a horrible story. I know nothing of this guy really, even having watched him on all sorts of shows. Someone can be an affable and likeable presenter but you know shit-all about their personality behind the scenes. Presenting is a performance after all. The emotional abuse described is terrible, but probably all too common - entitlement, jealousy and controlling behaviour combining to make her leaving him an absolute inevitability -- but the worst part for me is the vindictively trying to hamper her career after she did. Assuming there's truth in every word, I hope he reads it himself and reflects on it all. Especially that paragraph where she talks about being on the overpass.
Oh for a moment there I thought it was Robert Kazintski...anyway,and found it strange because I follow her on Twitter and there is alot of pics of him with her...but this guy has a weekly show on Space in Canada and does he Talking Dead show as well....seemed like a nice guy but I guess you never know.
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He wasn't a "nice guy" though. He was demanding even before they started dated according to her.
She's about to bury herself on Twitter...
https://twitter.com/desdemona31/status/1007587997263585280?s=21
Mmmhmm.
I meant his public persona, sorry. Even mentioning disagreements with someone with that kind of armor paints you in a bad light, it makes it especially hard to call out their behavior.
What a horrific story. Was also never a fan of his work and hated when Craig Ferguson had him on a lot.
Men can be particularly delicate about how you convey the "it could be anyone" message as I learned with my thread over the weekend.
I love people asking "why didn't she leave?" when this question is answered in the article:
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This is a minor detail that doesn't deserve to get hung up on.
One thing to remember is many people who act this way do not see it as being in the wrong. His comments in this story make it seem like everything he did and said seemed totally normal to him.
Yeah he was suffering from nice guy syndrome. Pretend to be all great and nice on the surface and in public, but behind closed doors they're assholes.
I agree and am not hung up on it. Just pointing out that it's a bit different than the other accusations. That's all.
His entire career was built on a bit role in House of 1000 Corpses. That's a pretty flimsy foundation to begin with.
Is it that different? It's not like he had a discussion with her about it. He said "That's going to stop." It's pretty clearly part of the pattern.
Ugh gross. This absolutely is a #MeToo story. This behavior starts at an early age too. We all knew at least one dude that was super controlling about his girlfriend in like high school. It's scary how many men think about women in this ways
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I had a good Nerdist podcast run back in 2013 when I was working a part time construction gig for extra money, must have listened to 20+ of them in a 2 week period. Haven't paid much attention to Hardwick since but definitely surprised given his overal personality on the podcast. Seemed somewhat self reflective/aware/genuine but you never know who celebrities really are in the privacy of their own homes.
Fallout from this will be interesting, dude has hosting gigs all over the place.
Also, has he responded at all? Tried looking him up on twitter but seems his account is not around anymore.
Fallout from this will be interesting, dude has hosting gigs all over the place.
Also, has he responded at all? Tried looking him up on twitter but seems his account is not around anymore.
Wow, good on Donna Dickens for not taking any bullshit. I wish more people in workspaces would prioritize the rights and safety of other human beings over their own career anxieties. This is a very good thing and the right thing to do.
Lotta folx in this thread don't seem to understand how an abusive relationship works despite the fact that Ms Dykstra has illustrated the inner workings of one perfectly and given strong counters to the traditional "why didn't you leave, you foolish girl?" Nonsense that inevitably arises.
When you are in an abusive relationship you have been hijacked. Your body and your mind don't feel like your own and you come to think of everything in terms of how it will please or displease your abuser. This mental process requires everything of you. You do not have the emotional capability to think of your own health and happiness because they have convinced you that both of those things are synonymous with their desires, not yours. Hence sexual coercion or "starfishing" (vomits in mouth).
Abuse is not about sex or fantasy fulfillment it is about control, and most importantly it can happen to anyone. There is not a type of foolish girl who falls into obvious traps because she's dumb. There are just people. We are hearing more and more about the entertainment industry's abusers because it is a highly visible industry with intense power structures that provide plenty of cover for abusers. But have no doubt, these abusers exist at equal rates in every profession. There are hierarchies that give way to coercion in the finance industry, the legal profession, medicine, academia, public services, the non-profit world, the art world, the fashion industry, and definitely the service industry. No one on this thread should be singling out Chloe Dykstra for falling into some obvious trap that no rational person would fall into. You have no idea who in your life is currently or has been trapped in a coercive, unhealthy, and abusive relationship. It could be your neighbor, your closest friend, your sister, your brother, or your parents. I have seen it.
Only one last thing I'll say: some people here express surprise because Chloe always seemed so cheerful in public. This is a very common coping mechanism, and while I don't mean that we should all scrutinize the excessively cheerful, you should all know that rape and abuse survivors are not all perpetually lachrymose.
I was dating a woman in college when she was assaulted at a frat party and in the aftermath she was almost worryingly energetic and positive. I guess i would describe her now as manic. Almost the exact opposite of what you would expect happened: I became horribly depressed and she relentlessly threw herself into extracuriculars and positive attitudes. I remember after we stopped dating I could barely get out of bed for class and she got a job giving tours on campus and working with our university's outreach to recruit more students. Her brother was a close friend of mine and years later after we both graduated I asked him, "Hey, why is it that ______ worked so hard to bring students to our university when the administration never supported her after her assault and basically the only thing going there ever gave her was misery?" He told me "oh, she hated that fucking place, but she didn't know what else to do." She was in an abusive relationship with an institution. Despite being at times dangerously close to suicide in part because of a lack of institutional support, she was still selling the school. When you're in an abusive relationship, self-termination sometimes seems more viable and reasonable than leaving.
Tldr; fuck Chris Hardwick. Whether you ever liked his output or not (not HIM, the person is not the same thing as what they make), it shouldn't make it difficult for you to believe women.
Yeah, clicked on the wrong google link and it brought me to a search instead of his page.
Ah ok, never mind. I guess his weird font for his name screwed up the search.
OP did a poor job of highlighting the more extreme examples of physical/sexual/emotional abuse. These bits and other snippets are chilling.
the op should include a few more details, as the actual article is way more fucked up than what was initially provided, which made me think he was just a control freak. wasn't expecting some of that stuff.
also, this. people need to stop posting shit like "I always knew this" in all of these threads.
also, this. people need to stop posting shit like "I always knew this" in all of these threads.
You acknowledge multiple people have answered this already, but yet you chose to jump in as well, and then tell me not to keep pushing this, in the midst of continuing the conversation yourself. smh
Ugh. Some guys try to hide behind this kind of humor, and I know that's what his excuse will be. I was just messing around. But only assholes joke about that stuff.
Fucking Hardwick. I got the impression he was going down the total-narcissist path the last time I spoke to him, but christ, I had no idea it would lead to this.
Poor Chloe. I feel so bad for her.
Poor Chloe. I feel so bad for her.
I was one of the people that answered. And you kept asking the same question.
There are so many classic abusive behaviors described in that piece it is chilling--controlling behavior, isolating from friends, sabotaging prospects.
As someone who dated a girl who would disassociate any time a guy would try to have sex with her, even if she didn't want it, the idea that "starfishing" is funny is horrifying.
As someone who dated a girl who would disassociate any time a guy would try to have sex with her, even if she didn't want it, the idea that "starfishing" is funny is horrifying.
Good on him. Though I don't blame anyone who decides to stay. A job is a rare thing these days for some people.
I hope the guy finds work quickly.
It's going to be interesting to see how other co-workers at G4 and Nedist react to this, specifically from that Attack of the Show time period.
I think it was more of the tone of not asking her but telling her you aren't going to drink. If it was hey I've had issues could you not drink around me etc it would've been different
He used to talk a lot about being a recovering addict when he was first starting out with the podcast, so I can see how he would just kind of assume that other people would be "wise" enough to not drink around him in order to prevent him from risking a potential relapse.
BUT. In context with the other, weirdly paranoid demands he made of her, it paints a picture of an absolute control freak. Combine that with the very, very noticeable shift in his public tone and demeanor over the past decade from "fun, friendly guy just doing this thing with his friends" to "this is the Chris Hardwick Show where I talk to famous people and try to act like I'm one of them" and I'm inclined to just believe Chloe when she says the drinking thing was more of a demand than a request.