My apologies. I re-read your post again and realized I misinterpreted your message.
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Chloe Dykstra Posts About Domestic/Sexual Abuse at the hands of Chris Hardwick
- Thread starter Senator Toadstool
- Start date
My apologies. I re-read your post again and realized I misinterpreted your message.
It's disheartening to see that Chloe is now having to endure bots attacking her and trying to discredit her. She makes mention about this stuff on a thread where she engaged with one of Hardwick supporters:
Update (J. Barrett/ ex-girlfriend/ Instagram):
"Jacinda Barrett, Australian-born actress, has leapt to the defence of her ex-boyfriend Chris Hardwick, after his talk show was put on hold amid allegations of sexual abuse.
Jacinda Barrett wrote on Instagram: 'This past week I have watched someone I once loved and shared four years of my life with be publicly accused of misconduct and abuse, then swiftly fired and shunned.'
She said the 'accuser's story' bore no resemblance to 'the one I shared with him', adding that 'every woman and man deserves a voice' - 'accuser and accused' - adding that the Me Too movement 'deserves due process'.
Hardwick, who has denied the allegations, has seen his talk show put on hold in the US and his name wiped from the website of The Nerdist - a company he founded.
Actress Jacinda, who married the Duchess of Sussex's former Suits co-star Gabriel Macht in 2004, tagged her ex-partner (Hardwick) in the lengthy Instagram post."
"Jacinda Barrett, Australian-born actress, has leapt to the defence of her ex-boyfriend Chris Hardwick, after his talk show was put on hold amid allegations of sexual abuse.
Jacinda Barrett wrote on Instagram: 'This past week I have watched someone I once loved and shared four years of my life with be publicly accused of misconduct and abuse, then swiftly fired and shunned.'
She said the 'accuser's story' bore no resemblance to 'the one I shared with him', adding that 'every woman and man deserves a voice' - 'accuser and accused' - adding that the Me Too movement 'deserves due process'.
Hardwick, who has denied the allegations, has seen his talk show put on hold in the US and his name wiped from the website of The Nerdist - a company he founded.
Actress Jacinda, who married the Duchess of Sussex's former Suits co-star Gabriel Macht in 2004, tagged her ex-partner (Hardwick) in the lengthy Instagram post."
These kinds of comments are dumb. Because people don't treat all their partners the same. Who knows, maybe he just decided to be awful to Chloe because she was young and inexperienced. Obviously he wouldn't try that shit on everyone.
Yeah, I hate the "it didn't happen to ME so she must be lying" defense. A lot of times I think people do it as a self-defense mechanism, to try and protect their own memories and recontextualize their pasts.
While it's certainly true that a lot of abusers DO abuse again, there are similarly large numbers of abusers who only do it to one person and stop for any number of reasons. Acting like her own experiences invalidate Chloe's just feels selfish and dismissive.
I'm positive it comes from a place of believing abusers are a certain kind of evil person. The potential for abuse is inside even the sweetest individual given the right circumstances.
True but you still can't be dismissive of her statement most abusers have a pattern of abuse,
Point is just because you don't like her statement doesn't mean you can be dismissive of it. Personally I hope this story is made up but who knows with that being said if it's not I hope he gets all that he deserves.
I think you're right. The experiences I've had with abusers in my own life, it always comes down to people not being willing to believe someone they know could do something so horrible. People always expect rapists or pedophiles to be clearly dirty, gross human beings on the outside, but the truth is that sometimes that grossness hides itself and only shows its face when it's ready to prey.
Yeah, like she might be coming from a place of hey I wanna help my friend who I've been intimate with, but not only like you said on abusers treating different people differently, her relationship with Hardwick ended AT LEAST 7 years before he and Chloe began dating.
And even if they're still friends, she wouldn't be in a position to know if he did or didn't or how he changed when it comes to romantic relationships :/
Idk. In cases like this it's better to be quiet because people change. She dated him before Chloe did so he could be a completely different person now. Also, if he's such a good guy--why blacklist her? That's something that has already been confirmed. He did that shit.
People need to wrap their heads around the idea that a "good guy" can be abusive. That "good people" can do awful things. I don't care if Hardwick is a "good guy" to everyone on his life. The problem is that he did abusive shit with Chloe and if that wasn't enough, he was reportedly instrumental to blacklist her in her industry. If anything, we need to tear down the "good guy" paradigm as something that puts the person beyond reproach.
And in my experiences with Chris, he got much, much worse as his Nerdist success grew.
Pretty fucked up of him to frame it as something he's grateful for experiencing.
Yeah you learned something valuable about it, but I'm pretty sure the girl wasn't as happy.
Good that he's apologizing for it, but the wording is weird.
He's obviously talking about the fallout, not the actions that lead to the fallout. I don't think the wording is weird at all. He seems to recognize that was wrong and scorns his "22-year-old me".
As someone that deals with this shit for a living, I agree.
Sometimes I think that people don't realize that the court of public opinion isn't an actual court.
That's true but yall can't sit up here and dismiss her claim because of that, again tho if he did it fuck him, same as Cosby, and others that I use to respect(not Chris barely seen anything he was in) but this whole immediate railroading of ppl accused without any proof needs to chill,
I believe we can listen and acknowledge what said victim tells us and apply some critical thinking to it, and let proof come about without potentially ruining a person's life in the process but that's my opinion on the matter to each their own
Also the blacklist could be for a number of reasons or for the very reason she says
Idk why he did it, I agree that is fucked tho
I assumed this will be of interest... After Barrett's post, Janet Varney (who was in a relationship with Hardwick from 2004-2011 when they broke up, he started dating Chloe) gave a statement to the LA Times:
Again, doesn't change what's already been said just above.
Less of a defense compared to Jacinda's post and more of a clarification, I suppose. I expect she got a lot of questions and she wanted people to stop theorizing.
Again, doesn't change what's already been said just above.
People don't understand the first amendment. What makes you think they'd understand the 5th and 14th?
Didn't she cheat on him? I could understand (not endorse) spiteful behavior from someone who was deeply hurt by their partner's infidelity. Being a spiteful asshole is still way different from bring a criminal sexual abuser. For the record, I assume Chloe is not lying, but I don't think the blacklisting stuff makes it any more or less likely that she is lying.
Eh, he's supposed to be a professional. Cheating or not, the blacklisting highlights what kind of man he is. It's a lame move. Dump her and move on, instead he tried to ruin her.
In the scheme of shitty things to do to another human being, is blacklisting on the same level as sexual assault/rape? That's my current takeaway from this, if that's not your intended point then I apologize.
Context is key. We are talking about a dude that emotionally and sexually abused someone. Once that person got free of that, he kept the abuse going even through distance. So yeah, the blacklisting of an ex-lover by someone as powerful as Hardwick for Dykstra's line of business it's pretty fucked up. No different than Weinstein screwing careers of girls that didn't fall in line.
I know you've been pushing this note for the entire thread, so let me be to the point on the context I see: I've seen from one ex an accusation of sexual assault and blacklisting. Thus far, and please correct me with a source if I'm incorrect here, the only other person backing the claim of sexual assault has been said accusers current partner, themselves having a history of alleged abuse. We have had a few different people post online backing the claims of blacklisting (which itself is a shitty thing to do but its not sexual violence) from Hardwick's debatable sphere of influence, but nobody else corroborating stories of sexual assault or abuse. We've also now seen several different ex's of Hardwick defend him against these accusations and speak to his apparent character as a person.
I lurk this forum a lot and am aware that you have a history of being...passionate in your posting of these discussions, so please remember that I'm trying to have a civil discussion here about a sensitive matter, instead of the usual flinging of shit and eventual thread locking that goes on with these discussions.
I feel like even if it is proven somehow that Hardwick is innocent in this situation, people will still hate him for this, and that's what is scary about these accusations lately. (Only in this instance). Some can be false and ruin a life anyway. It's a lot less common to see posts where people are thinking critically about something rather than just blindly accepting.
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Maybe his previous and current partner have equal sex drive and aren't saying no for Hardwick to have to force them. Maybe Hardwick had a bad stretch just when he was with Chloe and he got out of the funk. Maybe he changed (sometimes people can do that).
And Chloe's current BF didn't abuse anyone, did he? He sent nude pictures, which is bad and wrong but not quite on the level of sexual abuse.
Exposing yourself to someone without consent is a form of sexual assault.
You don't need a history of abusing partners before you start. This could easily been the first time. It's also pretty easy to see it happening here. She was almost 20 years younger, hes was becoming very popular. That kind of notoriety can change people. He had an image to protect and a young GF partying it up and hanging out with the types of people(men) in her line of work could possibly look bad on him.
What the hell is this ad hominem non sense to deflect the fact that you are underplaying the accounts of emotional, sexual and professional abuse of a dude 20 years senior to his ex-girlfriend that he reportedly blacklisted with several reliable sources confirming this very account? FOH with this condescending drivel.
Here's why you shouldn't be scared about "these accusations lately": people wouldn't be siding as hard as they are with Chloe - regardless the attempts of shady bots constantly attacking her on Twitter, bot farms are doing a mess there - if there weren't actual confirmation of reliable people in the industry claiming that yes, Chloe was blacklisted by Hardwick after they broke up. It's only scary and can ruin someone's life if you do some scary shit, like what Hardwick did here. Not to discount the emotional and sexual abuse that Chloe faced, but the fact that she had to deal with being blacklisted after the break up just shows how much damning his control freak behavior towards her got. That's not something that is getting "rumored" or something Hardwick was "accused by just his ex-gf". This was confirmed by people working in the industry. No career would be "ruined" if this was baseless. It is not.
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That's fair and I won't dispute that this is all entirely possible. I simply dispute that the circumstances are all that clear or obvious here. I don't know Chris, Chloe, nor any of the others who have involved themselves personally, so looking outside in all I have to go on are the base information available to us so far.
So no civil discourse on this then. Okay.
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You start your "civil discourse" by trying to undermine what I said politely and civilly to you. Get lost or keep trying to discredit the victim accounts by a clumsy attempt to relativize the fact that her ex-boyfriend used his connections to blacklist her professionally. You literally started your post saying that I'm "pushing this note for the entire thread"and ended your post with a tie knot about how you are a lurker and me having a "history here". I don't need to give you proof of shit. People have brought time and time again that others have come forward showing that yes, Chloe was blacklisted and that order came from Nerdist higher ups. And no, it wasn't with Nerdist related videos.
Read the thread carefully before attacking me and saying I'm pushing something here, if you are paying attention so much, read the thread and stop underplaying the accounts of a victim of abuse and try to deflect this to be about me. And don't bother replying to me again because I won't see it.
Good that she came out and spoke, there were many that wanted to know her thoughts on the matter
Neither passive aggressive. We've seen people underplaying the Chloe's accounts of abuse time and time again and getting rightfully banned and warned for it on the last pages. People trying to play Hardwick's advocate it's fine by me, as long as you don't try to underplay what the victim is saying. Chloe wasn't the only saying that she was blacklisted. If the guy took his time to write me two big paragraphs about how he's a lurker and knows about some sort of history me here, he could as well have read this whole thread and notice that unlike what he's implying, Dykstra isn't the only one accusing Hardwick that he blacklisted her. Others have come forward saying that yes, that happened. A Geek and Sundry producer and others that worked with Nerdist in the past have flat out said it that the blacklisting did happen and they knew about it. This is well documented on the thread, there's no need to turn this into "you are pushing a narrative" non-sense. This is condescending ad-hominem drivel, and I don't have to respect that, not in the face of Chloe's accounts of abuse by his ex-boyfriend which as far as we know from accounts of other people, did happen.
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Update/
Another ex girlfriend goes public:
" Chris Hardwick has another woman in his corner amid allegations that he sexually assaulted ex-girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra."
"Andrea Savage, who dated Hardwick.... calling him kind and supportive of women. "None of this rang true in terms of my experience with him," Savage stated of Dykstra's allegations. "He's truly one of the least controlling people. That's not the Chris I know."
"I feel like we're suddenly in this environment where people are able to publicly name and accuse you of things, but then nobody else is allowed to give their experience with that person and defend their character," she explained. "If you're a woman and you say something like this, you're not supportive of women and against the MeToo movement. If you're a man, forget it, you can't say anything."
Another ex girlfriend goes public:
" Chris Hardwick has another woman in his corner amid allegations that he sexually assaulted ex-girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra."
"Andrea Savage, who dated Hardwick.... calling him kind and supportive of women. "None of this rang true in terms of my experience with him," Savage stated of Dykstra's allegations. "He's truly one of the least controlling people. That's not the Chris I know."
"I feel like we're suddenly in this environment where people are able to publicly name and accuse you of things, but then nobody else is allowed to give their experience with that person and defend their character," she explained. "If you're a woman and you say something like this, you're not supportive of women and against the MeToo movement. If you're a man, forget it, you can't say anything."
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Is this an accurate summary so far?:
1. Chloe accused Chris of controlling, manipulative behavior, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and blacklisting her
2. Robert K (her boyfriend?) vouches for the accusations, says he has seen the evidence
3. Chris denies the accusations (except for the blacklisting?), released texts of his final breakup with her and her subsequent attempts at reconciliation months later
4. Other sources confirm blacklisting
5. Chris' wife defends him, as does his mother in law, who shares a video of Chloe saying positive things about Chris after her surgery
6. Ex-gf Jacinda comes out defending Chris
7. Ex-gf Janet V clarified she did not observe controlling behavior or experience sexual abuse with Chris
8. Ex-gf Andrea S came out in defense of Chris
Is that accurate?
1. Chloe accused Chris of controlling, manipulative behavior, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and blacklisting her
2. Robert K (her boyfriend?) vouches for the accusations, says he has seen the evidence
3. Chris denies the accusations (except for the blacklisting?), released texts of his final breakup with her and her subsequent attempts at reconciliation months later
4. Other sources confirm blacklisting
5. Chris' wife defends him, as does his mother in law, who shares a video of Chloe saying positive things about Chris after her surgery
6. Ex-gf Jacinda comes out defending Chris
7. Ex-gf Janet V clarified she did not observe controlling behavior or experience sexual abuse with Chris
8. Ex-gf Andrea S came out in defense of Chris
Is that accurate?
Jamie Alexander also came out to defend him, but yeah, that all sounds about right.
I believe she's also spearheading the (petition) campaign to reinstate Hardwick as the host of the Talking Dead chat show.
"Jaimie Alexander on Thursday took to the defense of her friend Chris Hardwick as he faced what are believed to be indirect accusations of emotional abuse and sexual assault from his ex Chloe Dykstra.
The 43-year-old actress wrote on Twitter, 'Guys- I've [known] Chris Hardwick for over 10 years. I knew him through his breakup with said accuser.
With the personal knowledge I have regarding this situation I am choosing to follow my heart, my instincts, and support my friend.'"
