How do you walk away from this in the current climate...
It's been almost 20 years since I was in college, but I had two separate male friend groups. Among one, this kind of talk was common, along with homophobia and racism. Misogyny was so prevelant so as not to be even considered "taboo" like the other two. I'd like to think I never participated (I was always mocked as "sensitive" and of course the pejorative "gay"), but that's likely not true.
I suppose this was before social media and in the AIM/ICQ days, but I think most of the guys had the self awareness to not talk like this in public. But it's going to slip out for some if that's how you authentically talk.
Abby Russell told a story on the Beastcast where some of her friends got in a golf foursome and the people they were partnered with just started using racist language. I remember growing up and people figuring each other out like "is it ok if I talk like a scumbag in front of this person. Is he cool?"
If you challenge someone on this kind of thing, you can get into one of those "you don't know what's in my heart" arguments. But it's like regardless just stop fucking spreading that shit and change your abusive language. The mental backflips that people will go through (haven't even brought up religion) just so they don't have to (1) admit they're wrong and apologize and (2) change your ways is limitless.
All that said, I've been diagnosed with social anxiety but been called highly sensitive and self aware by my therapists, yet autistic by others so I don't even know whether to trust my own insights.
Sorry I don't know why this sparked something in me.