The abusers & predators who prey on young, naive, new, and eager folks in the industry, who are the most vulnerable of all, are the worst offenders IMO. They're all terrible, but it takes a special kind of awful to actively seek out people who should be uplifted, and target them.
I experienced this at my FIRST networking event, as a 21 year old still in college, interning for two companies. I was asked by one company to help throw a PAX East party. I was so excited to be taken seriously, to be asked to help, and to get to network and make friends.
I was nervous and did my best to social and be genuine. Finally one person started talking to me about art, they took art seriously too! They wanted to know about what I did. We had an in depth discussion about our passions, I was so glad I made a "friend".
Over the course of the night, this person kept getting way too close. Kept trying to buy me drinks. Kept touching me and putting his arm around me. It was clear to me then he had no intention of treating me as a professional. I kept ducking away and talking to other. He followed.
I knew this person was a "someone" in the industry and did my best to rebuff his advances with friendliness and professionalism, afraid of what would happen if I told him off or made a scene. He wouldn't go away. I sat down and he sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me.
I was frozen with fear and too scared to run away as he held me there and flirted and made lewd comments. I frantically texted my boyfriend asking him to pick me up. Everyone at the party ignored my frantic panicked eye contact and what was happening. No one helped.
As I go to run out, I ask some people I recognize to please make sure he doesn't follow me out. They make a face and laugh at my suggestion. I am horrified and get into my boyfriends car, absolutely stunned at how dehumanized I felt and how no one helped me. I am scared of him.
The next day, he comes to the PAX East booth I'm working at, asking me to tour the floor with him. I tell him I'm working and don't have time. I am scared and nervous and can't focus on doing my job. At a party that night, people jokingly point him out to me as I duck and hide.
I go to an indie dev meetup sometime later, never having gone before. I know maybe two people, eager to meet people and make friends. Someone I don't know picks me out of the crowd and goes "You're Carrie, right? Marc is a good guy. I heard about that!" and joked!
Not only did no one stop the harassment as it happened, they fucking joked about it after. Didn't take me seriously. Gossiped. I was mortified and humiliated. I just wanted to make games and be taken seriously. I didn't feel safe. I didn't attend again.
I rarely go to events to this day because of this. Of fearing for my physical safety, of people ignoring harassment as it happens. The times I do go, I am dehumanized, sexualised, touched. No one steps in. I continue to go in hopes of protecting some other woman being targeted.
To you "allies" out there who talk a big game but turn a blind eye to harassment, you're terrible and are part of the problem. Remembering this incident to this day makes my blood fucking boil at all the complacency, at letting me be a target.
I turn this anger into being outspoken against this behavior, to hopefully be loud and visible enough to be an ally to other targets in trouble. I hate how it made me feel so inhuman and I don't want others to feel that way, EVER. I am angry for them all.
I have no idea what he's doing now. As far as I can tell...he's working on the same game he was telling me about back then. Go figure. In any case, Marc Ten Bosh can go fuck himself. I have never felt so inhuman and objectified and I nearly left because of it.