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Anyone use a poop knife?

Poop knife?

  • Yes

    Votes: 27 4.9%

  • No

    Votes: 437 79.6%

  • Only with a fork

    Votes: 85 15.5%
  • Total voters
    549
CaptNink

CaptNink

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,120
B.C, Canada
This is gross, but it's Friday, so what the hell.

Long time ago I read an article on Reddit about this guy whose family took such solid craps, that they had a designated a 'poop knife' and hung it in their
laundry room that they used to slice up their excrement so it could flush.

At the time I thought "How bizarre", but flash-forward to now and I must admit that I now have a 'poop knife' living under the bathroom sink,
ready to go. The reason is my 8 year old daughter, if you can believe it. Everyone else seems to be able to poop normally, but she produces
huge poops that are completely solid and will not dissolve! She eats a pretty decent diet; lots of fibre and drinks a good amount of water, but her
poops are like nothing I've ever seen.

Every time she goes to the bathroom, I hear "Dad - the toilet is plugged again" and I have to work like hell to unplug it. One day when I was
doing this, I remembered that Reddit story and christened an old knife we used to use for camping as "THE POOP KNIFE". Believe me - it helps.

So I know I'm not the only one who has to deal with this. Anyone else want to admit that they have a poop knife?
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
116,095
giphy.gif


no, but my brother has killed at least five toilets in his day so maybe HE needs one
 
Westbahnhof

Westbahnhof

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
10,108
Austria
Can't you get a better toilet? I don't mean this like "just get a better toilet, lol", I'm genuinely asking if that's possible, because this seems like something that really shouldn't happen with 2021 plumbing.
 
pechorin

pechorin

Banned
Apr 13, 2020
2,572
i only have huge poops when i eat loads of carbs in one sitting, and even then it's not particularly hard. poop knife....

actually i've decided to stop drinking coffee because i was having the opposite problem where my poop became too watery all the time.

why doesn't nobody tell you coffee is a laxative
 
Pirate Bae

Pirate Bae

Edelgard Feet Appreciator
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
6,803
??
okay real talk though I had a similar problem when I was about your daughter's age.

she'll grow out of it. no need to worry.
 
Dan-o

Dan-o

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,903
CaptNink said:
The reason is my 8 year old daughter, if you can believe it. Everyone else seems to be able to poop normally, but she produces
huge poops that are completely solid and will not dissolve!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Are you me? lol exact same issue in my house... Not sure what to do but hadn't thought of this uh solution.
 
iksenpets

iksenpets

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,516
Dallas, TX
Do you have to like scoop the poop out of the toilet with a poop net to cut it on a poop cutting board so you can dump the little chunklets back in and flush, or do you just sort of stab into the bowl for a while until the poop looks adequately minced?
 
chimpychi

chimpychi

Member
Oct 27, 2017
590
Wait, every time she uses the bathroom, are you called in? Or have you taught her to do it herself..
 
leder

leder

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,111
Glad the OP is in B.C. so that this stuff is being dumped directly out into the ocean untreated
 
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