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At the risk of sounding stupid: I don't understand how a crocodile or alligator can be dangerous.

Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
Banned
Jul 14, 2018
23,601
When you think about dangerous animals, usual ones come up. Bears, Tigers, Lions, Hippos, Sharks, Snakes - but if I've learnt something from interacting with floridian-made content is that most people in florida are absolutely terrified of alligators.

This is the thing, I don't get it at all. Look at this little dude:

Alligator-Florida.jpg


If this approaches you, it feels like it could hardly do any damage. Just manage to stay away from its mouth, jump on top of it or something and problem solved? I promise I'm not trying to sound like a "I could kill a bear" dumbass but I don't understand how these can be threatful to humans. Am I missing something?
 
Chaosblade

Chaosblade

Resettlement Advisor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,606
That little dude is bigger than you and has jaws that could rip you in half.
 
Mandos

Mandos

Member
Nov 27, 2017
31,108
They grow up to 15' long, can run 20MPH and have jaws that can rip you in half. That's also on land, in water you won't even see then coming
 
Benzychenz

Benzychenz

One Winged Slayer
Member
Nov 1, 2017
15,404
Australia
Are you not aware how fast a crocodile can leap out of water?
And how strong the jaws are if it does get a hold of you?
 
Foot

Foot

Member
Mar 10, 2019
10,945
"Am I missing something?" Nope, you've solved it. Everyone else is just silly.
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
116,091
They're so much faster than they look like they would be. And if they catch you near the water's edge while they're underwater you'll be half-dead (and underwater, and drowning) before you even know what hit you.
 
Zhengi

Zhengi

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,902
They do this thing called a death spiral or something like that that can rip a chunk of your flesh from you.
 
OP
OP
Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
Banned
Jul 14, 2018
23,601
Mandos said:
They grow up to 15' long, can run 20MPH and have jaws that can rip you in half. That's also on land, in water you won't even see then coming
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What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
 
Saikyo

Saikyo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,346
There I think one video of two crocodiles playing with each other when suddenly one of them lose an arm because the grip of their "friend" jaw was that strong.

If they can do that on accident imagine when they want to hunt something.
 
JSRF

JSRF

"This guy are sick"
Member
Aug 23, 2023
1,127
If a crocodile started trying to eat me I would simply put on my airpods and pretend I can't hear it and keep walking
 
tim1138

tim1138

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,173
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Your worst case scenario is all it would take
 
Nepenthe

Nepenthe

When the music hits, you feel no pain.
Administrator
Oct 25, 2017
20,766
Go on ahead in gator-infested waters with no weapons for an hour. Report back to the thread.
 
NaturalHigh

NaturalHigh

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,358
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Yeah just one little nibble that will only cause you to bleed out and die.
 
ArchedThunder

ArchedThunder

Uncle Beerus
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,102
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Outside of controlled conditions getting your hands around their snout isn't exactly an easy thing, especially if they are trying to kill you. You say "one bite" like that one bite isn't going to absolutely destroy you.
 
Sheldon Kornpett

Sheldon Kornpett

Member
Sep 18, 2023
527
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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lol. If they get one bite, they wouldn't bite and let go. They would bite and not let go, thrash you around, roll and pull you underwater.
 
Dyle

Dyle

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
30,000
You don't see how something bigger, stronger, and faster than you isn't dangerous?
 
Xando

Xando

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,385
Jump into a pond of gators and then come back to tell the thread how it went
 
Aaronrules380

Aaronrules380

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
22,501
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Yes, but that also requires you to wrestle a huge armored reptile that weighs several times as much as you in the most extreme cases. Like at that point a saltwater croc will just kill you bu throwing it's weight around and taking you for a spin even if it can't bite you while you hold it's mouth shut
 
RomanticHeroX

RomanticHeroX

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,903
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Look up the death roll then go ahead and plan out how you're going to hold the jaws shut while it's doing that. Also while you're suffering massive blood loss.
 
Masterz1337

Masterz1337

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,843
Those jaws will crack your bones and that's before they dig into your flesh and they pull it off your arms like a glove if you're lucky. Alligators ain't as bad as crocs but these things have been relatively the same since the time of the dinosaurs. It's the perfect predator.
 
Benzychenz

Benzychenz

One Winged Slayer
Member
Nov 1, 2017
15,404
Australia
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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Click to shrink...
"One bite"

Bruh

If those jaws get you they're not letting go and they're rolling you around and you're deader than dead.
 
ArchedThunder

ArchedThunder

Uncle Beerus
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,102
Lant_War said:
Depends on what they bite no? If it gets my leg or something it'd hurt like hell but not kill me. If it gets my neck or something sure but I meant more so a limb.
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If it gets your leg you're losing it and will probably be in too much pain and shock to stop it from doing more damage, and even if you did you're probably going to bleed out.
 
bananab

bananab

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,867
Lant_War said:
Depends on what they bite no? If it gets my leg or something it'd hurt like hell but not kill me. If it gets my neck or something sure but I meant more so a limb.
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You can die in seconds from the right leg injury. There are some bigass arteries therein. Not to mention that your legs are your primary means of escape.
 
Bláthanna

Bláthanna

Member
Feb 15, 2023
701
Ireland
Lant_War said:
What? They don't look nearly that fast. That's pretty surprising.

About the jaws, I remember reading some time ago that the jaws are powerful but only in the close direction so a human can easily keep them shut. Worst case scenario they get one bite maybe.
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"one bite maybe,"
Saltwater crocodiles literally have the strongest bite of any animal on Earth, it's going to annihilate you before you ever have a chance to keep it's jaws shut.
 
Sheldon Kornpett

Sheldon Kornpett

Member
Sep 18, 2023
527
Lant_War said:
Depends on what they bite no? If it gets my leg or something it'd hurt like hell but not kill me. If it gets my neck or something sure but I meant more so a limb.
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lol Again, it wouldn't like, bite your leg and then run away. It would bite your leg and hold on and roll around and around while dragging you into water (you are not able to breathe underwater fyi) and thrashing you into the ground.
 
tim1138

tim1138

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,173
Lant_War said:
Depends on what they bite no? If it gets my leg or something it'd hurt like hell but not kill me. If it gets my neck or something sure but I meant more so a limb.
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I mean it would literally rip your leg off and you'd bleed out, and that's assuming it let go (or just completely severed your leg) and didn't drag you back into the water to death roll and drown you. Nah, no biggy!
 
ArrogantBastard

ArrogantBastard

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,033
Lant_War said:
When you think about dangerous animals, usual ones come up. Bears, Tigers, Lions, Hippos, Sharks, Snakes - but if I've learnt something from interacting with floridian-made content is that most people in florida are absolutely terrified of alligators.

This is the thing, I don't get it at all. Look at this little dude:

Alligator-Florida.jpg


If this approaches you, it feels like it could hardly do any damage. Just manage to stay away from its mouth, jump on top of it or something and problem solved? I promise I'm not trying to sound like a "I could kill a bear" dumbass but I don't understand how these can be threatful to humans. Am I missing something?
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Click to shrink...
Yes, you are missing a great deal. They are apex predators, they can outrun you on land. If you are caught in the water you have no chance even if you had a weapon.
 
OP
OP
Lant_War

Lant_War

Classic Anus Game
Banned
Jul 14, 2018
23,601
Just to be clear because I kinda goofed in the title by including alligators and crocodiles, can an *alligator* do all of this?
 
CitizenVectron

CitizenVectron

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,416
Lant_War said:
Depends on what they bite no? If it gets my leg or something it'd hurt like hell but not kill me. If it gets my neck or something sure but I meant more so a limb.
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They bite you and then thrash you around until you bleed out, and will never let go. You're acting as if they bite and then release. Their jaw muscles can crush metal, and once they bite down they will not let go. If you're near water (which is where you're likely to encounter them), they will likely drag you underwater. If you're on land, they'll just hold on and trash until you die—you will never be able to pry their jaws apart. These things evolved 250 million years ago and haven't had to change because nothing has been able to survive them, so there has been no pressure to evolve further.

Your entire strategy of "just" avoiding their jaws and somehow holding them closed is like saying "if my airplane is about to crash, I'll just jump before it hits the ground." The only way to survive a crocodile (or alligator) attack is to avoid being attacked in the first place. If you're attacked, and you don't even see it coming (which you likely won't) you're probably dead.
 
Jubilant Duck

Jubilant Duck

Member
Oct 21, 2022
5,979
Aaronrules380

Aaronrules380

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
22,501
Lant_War said:
Just to be clear because I kinda goofed in the title by including alligators and crocodiles, can an *alligator* do all of this?
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Alligators do the same things, they're just smaller than the biggest crocodiles. But an adult American alligator is still several times an adult human's weight on average and more than capable of killing you if it gets it's jaws on you
 
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