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Era, outside of the internet, do you personally know someone who's trans?
- Thread starter Kyuuji
- Start date
Yup. A student at my work. I mentored her when she was a man. She was married and had a kid while doing her PhD. Upon graduation, she divorced her wife and became a tran. I heard she still have legal stuffs going on with his ex-wife regarding their kid.
I don't have a lot of IRL queer friends to my lasting shame and regret, and none of them are trans. In part because making friends as an adult is fucking hard, but also because I didn't come to grips with my own queerness until relatively late in life and didn't feel the need/see the sense in explicitly seeking out that community.
Now I'm out of the closet and kind of desperate for those kind of connections, because jesus fuck I could use some face to face interactions with people who know what I'm going through for themselves. But until the pandemic winds down, I'm kind of just twisting in the wind.
Now I'm out of the closet and kind of desperate for those kind of connections, because jesus fuck I could use some face to face interactions with people who know what I'm going through for themselves. But until the pandemic winds down, I'm kind of just twisting in the wind.
A friend of mine transitioned, but I only found out 10+ years after we grew apart. I noticed they changed their name on Facebook and that's when I realized. I had no idea they were trans when we were friends. I voted no, as it seemed the best answer for me, since I haven't seen or talked to them since before.
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Yep! My fiancé and I are both cis, but his best friend (and now my friend) is trans. Her transition was difficult and my fiancé was there for her that whole time, and they're really close. We used to do game night with her and her wife on a weekly basis but obviously the quarantine has fucked that up.
She's the only trans person in their friend group, but everyone is really supportive of her. She still goes through a lot of deadnaming and misgendering outside of the friend group and it fucking sucks.
She's the only trans person in their friend group, but everyone is really supportive of her. She still goes through a lot of deadnaming and misgendering outside of the friend group and it fucking sucks.
OP
OP
I am feeling you on this, thankful for those coming in to share.
I'm cis and one of my coworkers came out as trans a few weeks ago. She told me privately before it came out company wide and I was touched she felt comfortable enough with me to tell me.
I'm cis and I know two people who are trans. I have a cousin who transitioned about 6-7 years ago and I worked with a trans co-worker two years ago who I keep in touch with every now and then.
I'm cis and an acquaintance and mutual of mine are trans. The acquaintance was in the same club as me in college and he transitioned as years passed.
I knew the mutual in high school before she transitioned (we went to the same hs, and then the same college) but we weren't really friends personally.
I knew the mutual in high school before she transitioned (we went to the same hs, and then the same college) but we weren't really friends personally.
One of my work friends is trans.
I live in a pretty popular LGBTQ city though with a big community.
I live in a pretty popular LGBTQ city though with a big community.
I know a bunch from the place I volunteer at. Might also have a co-worker who's trans, but I'm terrible at clocking anyone, not do I care to.
Cis. No I don't know anyone trans (that I know of that is).
I am not that fond of people so I haven't had the chance to meet many people or friends other than the ones I know in school so maybe that''s why.
I am not that fond of people so I haven't had the chance to meet many people or friends other than the ones I know in school so maybe that''s why.
I'm cis and my girlfriend is transgender, we initially met online and our relationship is still long distance, but we have met in person since we started dating. We've been dating for 5 years now and I'm glad I was able to help her with her transition.
Cis guy, I've known like two trans people IRL. A woman from work, and my ex's cousin was a trans guy.
Cis gendered here. One of my best friends is trans and we hang out all the time.
I know quite a lot of trans people.
I know quite a lot of trans people.
Met two transgender people in my life. Maybe a couple more who I wasn't around long enough to know for sure. One was the parent of one of my teammates in junior football who (we thought) was this bald hardman dude with a shitton of piercings, then turned up the next week in a wig and dress. It would be incredibly brave to do that now where I live, never mind 15 years ago. Hope she's ok and the rest of the family.
so really my main exposure to trans people is here.
so really my main exposure to trans people is here.
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The "I'm ___ and don't personally know someone" option is a little weird to me, and probably better expressed as "I'm ___ and and don't know any trans people that are out to me".
I'm nb and trans. I have known a handful of coworkers, many close friends(including one person that I've been close to since we were both cis-identified) and one family member that are out to me as trans. This isn't to mention the many trans people I know through support groups.
I personally am privileged to be recognized as cis by the general public and I don't disclose being trans to coworkers or acquaintances. I've had to awkwardly out myself to a cop who kept calling in a check on a "white female". I've run into confusion at hospitals with workers that just couldn't process that I wasn't cis unless my pants were down, and that didn't trust my male-labeled ID. The sexual harassment I've fallen victim would have likely been much worse if my attackers had realized I was trans.
I have had zero surgeries, permanent procedures(HRT aside, but including any sort of facial hair removal) or change to my legal name/gender markers. I know a ton of trans people with more passing privilege than I have, that basically won't disclose to anyone that they're trans. And this is just describing the binary trans people that have transitioned, there are so many other trans, nb, agender, and gender nonconforming individuals that are invisible for other reasons.
I'm not opposed to the idea of the thread, and don't suspect any ill intention from the OP or any cis people here, but the unspoken bias that cis people have about knowing if someone is trans or not is still really pervasive, and not indicative of reality.
I'm nb and trans. I have known a handful of coworkers, many close friends(including one person that I've been close to since we were both cis-identified) and one family member that are out to me as trans. This isn't to mention the many trans people I know through support groups.
I personally am privileged to be recognized as cis by the general public and I don't disclose being trans to coworkers or acquaintances. I've had to awkwardly out myself to a cop who kept calling in a check on a "white female". I've run into confusion at hospitals with workers that just couldn't process that I wasn't cis unless my pants were down, and that didn't trust my male-labeled ID. The sexual harassment I've fallen victim would have likely been much worse if my attackers had realized I was trans.
I have had zero surgeries, permanent procedures(HRT aside, but including any sort of facial hair removal) or change to my legal name/gender markers. I know a ton of trans people with more passing privilege than I have, that basically won't disclose to anyone that they're trans. And this is just describing the binary trans people that have transitioned, there are so many other trans, nb, agender, and gender nonconforming individuals that are invisible for other reasons.
I'm not opposed to the idea of the thread, and don't suspect any ill intention from the OP or any cis people here, but the unspoken bias that cis people have about knowing if someone is trans or not is still really pervasive, and not indicative of reality.
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I'm trans and my cousin came out as a trans women many years ago, though I've never been close to her since she's lived in a different state for a long time.
There's also a friend I had years ago who came out as trans but I haven't been close to them in some time.
In both cases I either don't know them or haven't known them well since before knowing.
There's also a friend I had years ago who came out as trans but I haven't been close to them in some time.
In both cases I either don't know them or haven't known them well since before knowing.
I had a friend from middle school who transitioned around when I started college. I also met a trans woman in one of my summer internships, and we became close with a bunch of other interns we hung out with. We all parted ways after it ended, though.
OP
OP
A fair point to make and for context the wording was both in part to help correlate to the data that GLAAD has that the thread is based on..
..and to help further underline that I'm asking about people that others know offline and not through the internet. It was meant to be indicative of people who know someone — and thus that person has come out to them and others — that is trans as opposed to someone that they suspect of being trans.
So not 'know' in the sense of 'being certain of' but instead 'is a person I'm familiar with'. I can appreciate how the former could be taken to mean one's thoughts as to whether someone is or isn't trans though, and apologies for that oversight. Thank you for taking the time to type that out and make me aware.
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Yeah, I was friends with him before he transitioned but we kind of drifted apart after that. I should see how he's doing.
Not very well but yes, one of my little brothers friends is trans, have met and hung out with her several times.
Three.
A long time friend came out trans about 10 years ago. She's the most talented programmer/hacker I know. Coding right down to 1s and 0s, helping me with any optimization I might need.
A artist colleague that I've been working with a couple of years now. We've not really hung out enough though as she's working remotely 1000s of miles away.
The third is another artist, who's a friend of a friend. We've only spoken a few times and know each other's names, but that's about it.
A long time friend came out trans about 10 years ago. She's the most talented programmer/hacker I know. Coding right down to 1s and 0s, helping me with any optimization I might need.
A artist colleague that I've been working with a couple of years now. We've not really hung out enough though as she's working remotely 1000s of miles away.
The third is another artist, who's a friend of a friend. We've only spoken a few times and know each other's names, but that's about it.
I did see that your poll was related to a GLAAD poll(and a trans documentary) that used the same language. I should have directed my post more at that language than anyone personally responding here. Sorry about that.
I do think it's telling that the language went several pages unexamined, and not of anyone's moral character, but of the fact that the idea that there are plenty of invisible trans people, and that cis shouldn't be an assumption. I disclose that I'm trans to friends because it's an important part of who I am, but I also choose to let strangers, coworkers, and other acquaintances assume that I'm cis because it makes my day-to-day easier, and at some point, my life could depend on it. Until these ideas are more thoroughly challenged, there will be a great number of trans people that choose to remain invisible.
There's some trans people at my workplace. It was a bit tricky when one of them transitioned but they were cool with the odd mistaken name/pronoun. If anything she got pissed off with the constant apologies, just telling us it's fine. She's a good lass and a hard worker, got promoted just this year. It's hard to break any habit, but just a little bit of effort goes a long way. I don't make any mistakes nowadays.