Finally got tired of the BS and challenged my Dad/Friends over their sharing of fake/racist/sexist/political memes/comments

Landy828 · Jul 30, 2019

I finally broke and went off on my dad yesterday (a friend that leans conservative was there too). A solid 10+ minutes of me going at him about false/fake memes he posts about Cortez and the other women in Congress. Went off about Trump and Fox News and their misleading/fear/hate mongering stories. Went off about us needing to care about human beings instead of demeaning them and putting them on the level of animals. Went off on creating false "Communism/Socialist" rhetoric and him repeating it/sharing it.

I hit my limit with family and friends.

Hopefully things aren't too uncomfortable next time I see him, but I'm tired of the BS.

His only comment, and he went quiet after that, was "Well, if you get your way and this becomes a communist country, I hope you don't mind them coming for everything you have."

I was like "WTH, I literally just covered that the entire "They're communists" is a false narrative by Fox/Trump/Republicans."

UGH

Conversation ended there....and apparently he didn't listen to a darn thing I said. Didn't even care that I pointed out like 10 things that were false information he believed.

Makes me sad to see this in my own family/friends. It's the absolute majority here in the South and it's such a pain to see constant lies/false narratives as gospel.

I guess for conversations sake, has anyone else hit this breaking point? Have you actually challenged family/friends or did you just cut them out?

I'm the kind of person that challenges and tries to change people, not really one to just cut people out.

Noppie · Jul 30, 2019

Have you tried talking normally about it before going off?

EvilChameleon · Jul 30, 2019

Oh I reached that breaking point in January of 2017, shortly after the Muslim ban. Made a nice long post about anyone who voted for him with the intention of "making America great again" got shanghaied.

Platy · Jul 30, 2019

i love having these conversations because I am a "I don't mind them coming for everything I have as long as other people are not starving" kind of person

Link · Jul 30, 2019

I just don't even talk to my mom anymore. She's a completely lost cause and it's not worth getting myself worked up over anymore.

Deleted member 1086 · Jul 30, 2019

so glad I don't have to deal with this in my family, my dad might not be the most liberal person but he has enough sense to see Trump for what he is.

chaobreaker · Jul 30, 2019

The amount of families that right-wing media has broken up is immeasurable.

I'm sorry OP but I don't see your family changing their behaviour unless you give them an ultimatum: It's either they stop engaging and sharing fake right-wing hysteria or you cut them from your life.

kadotsu · Jul 30, 2019

I would simply scam him out of money by pretending to be red pilled and needing money to go to conservative events.

ArrogantBastard · Jul 30, 2019

Best of luck, I just cut my interaction with them to a bare minimum. It sucks, it really does, but once they get in that hole/bubble there is shit all you can do. You are trying to reason with someone when it isn't about logic, rationality, and an open conversation. They are angry and afraid, all the while sitting in an environment that constantly ramps up that anger and fear. It's shitty, I would love to have my parents back...

chaobreaker said:
The amount of families that right-wing media has broken up is immeasurable.

I'm sorry OP but I don't see your family changing their behaviour unless you give them an ultimatum: It's either they stop engaging and sharing fake right-wing hysteria or you cut them from your life.

That is the arrangement we came up with, its just as shitty. Now we avoid all political conversations (which is everything) and we talk about stupid trivial things when we see each other four times a year. They stopped sharing fear-mongering right wing shit, even though they still abide by it every day.

Deleted member 10551 · Jul 30, 2019

Don't screw yourself over politics- it's not worth it in most cases to get cut off. Just try to save their souls before its too late if you can.

Omegasquash · Jul 30, 2019

I remember getting serious, serious backlash for a post that I made after the 2016 election. No names named, extremely civil, just basically saying we need to do better as a nation.

The backlash wasn't online. It was over text and phone calls. I shared it with my wife and some friends, and their jaws hit the floor. I didn't go off on anyone, but it's been pretty tepid since. I didn't deserve that.

Commedieu · Jul 30, 2019

props for having the courage to do so mate.

Beer Monkey · Jul 30, 2019

Noppie said:
Have you tried talking normally about it before going off?

These people relish their ignorance, wouldn't make a bit of difference.

whiskeystrike · Jul 30, 2019

My brother is the only other person in my family who cares about politics and he went from Trump's number one fan to Sanders/Warren fan

Shiloh · Jul 30, 2019

My partner and I just got into it this weekend. They're log cabin, so the debates are always fun.

Luckily my family stays quiet as I'm pretty sure my Dad is embarrassed he voted for the man

bionic77 · Jul 30, 2019

crazyfunster said:
Don't screw yourself over politics- it's not worth it in most cases to get cut off. Just try to save their souls before its too late if you can.

Politics is increasing or decreasing taxes by a few points. Politics is discussing budget reform.

This is more about honesty and decency.

It's hard to be around people that are not honest or decent.

At least it is for me.

ClickyCal' · Jul 30, 2019

So many familes have broken apart the last 3 years.

DavidDesu · Jul 30, 2019

That communist nonsense (growing here in the UK too) really has done a number on you lot over there. Absolute paranoia about a bogeyman that effectively doesn't really exist, as if the super radical left would ever become remotely popular enough to enact anything even close to communism. You guys need some calm reasonable educator to enlighten you that some socialist policy does not equal full on communism to the extreme, and will be beneficial for all, hell even beneficial for the rich with a happier workforce.

Deleted member 10551 · Jul 30, 2019

bionic77 said:
Politics is increasing or decreasing taxes by a few points. Politics is discussing budget reform.

This is more about honesty and decency.

It's hard to be around people that are not honest or decent.

At least it is for me.

I agree, it's decency vs filth, and I don't hide my views around my parents and it has caused real strain, but I'm not going to write them off.
If they said vote Trump or we're cutting you off, I'd cut them off, but that's about the only way I would.

What this has done, is made me want revenge on the folks responsible for turning my parents into this. I will celebrate Trump's death.

Deleted member 8257 · Jul 30, 2019

OP I applaud your courage. But you should treat them like cult members. It doesnt work like normally telling facts to their faces. Read the guides online about ex cult members and how to break the spell.

ArrogantBastard · Jul 30, 2019

crazyfunster said:
Don't screw yourself over politics- it's not worth it in most cases to get cut off. Just try to save their souls before its too late if you can.

So just ignore the vile and toxic shit that constantly gets spewed out of their mouths, shared on social media, and brought up everytime we are together just so I can remain 'family'?

BDS · Jul 30, 2019

I've written about my experiences with this shit before, there's no saving people when they fall that deep into the cult. Just cut them off.

Bakercat · Jul 30, 2019

Emotions > facts.

I just ignore people if I can.

Deleted member 721 · Jul 30, 2019

I have done that years ago, in my experience they will not change, they will only avoid to talk about politics with you around, which is nice i think.

nintendoman58 · Jul 30, 2019

I feel like the best way to go about this with family and friends is to act like you don't give a shit about politics.

If you act all angry and passionate, they'll immediately assume your part of "the enemy" that the right keeps talking about.

But if you act like an outsider, someone who couldn't care less about politics, and say things like "The guy's a buffoon", or "Maybe step away from the news and online stuff for a bit?", it might be a better attempt to at least start weening people off of this stuff. Try and act as calm and rational as possible when explaining things, and also try not to seem fazed when they say something absurd.

Because "those angry emotional liberals!" is what they're being told to watch out for by the right online. Once it delves into a shouting match, nobody's going to get anywhere and they'll just remain entrenched in their comfort zones.

Maybe if you have some liberal friends, try bringing a bunch of them over and have a discussion there too.

Violence Jack · Jul 30, 2019

I've found those people care about their own Conservative delusions more than they do about treating people equally. Let them live with their fantasies if they want to play stupid.

The only one around me that's remotely conservative is my father-in-law, and after a talking to by my wife and his, he's done with the GOP.

Doctoglethorpe · Jul 30, 2019

Landy828 said:
Conversation ended there....and apparently he didn't listen to a darn thing I said. Didn't even care that I pointed out like 10 things that were false information he believed.

No of course not. When you confront something so ingrained into their brain that it has the potential to shatter their mental structuring of reality, they completely tune out. Like a lightbulb that just blinks off in their eyes and the rest of the time your talking your just looking into the empty eyes of a completely disassociated psychopath.

I make this mistake with my grandmother all the time. I mean it's hard not to, but it accomplishes literally nothing, it's just personal venting really. I should consider myself lucky she actually doesn't like Trump as a person at all despite agreeing with a lot of his actual policy. God forbid you call her racist or sexist though holy shit that will actually make her do the same stupid faces Trump makes, you know the ones that get memed a lot, her impression of them is fucking perfect.

Secretofmateria · Jul 30, 2019

Me and my conservative dad went at it pretty bad one night. I tried to explain to him why its okay for people to be who they feel they were meant to be (regarding transgenderism) and it led to a whole left v right war in my house, To the point where physical threats were made by both of us. We didnt speak for about a week. We made up but now we dont talk About politics around each other. Some times hell start then i shoot him a glance and he stops

RedMercury · Jul 30, 2019

They are brainwashed.

ArrogantBastard · Jul 30, 2019

Eylos said:
I have done that years ago, in my experience they will not change, they will only avoid to talk about politics with you around, which is nice i think.

Yep, its the only way to go. The problem with it, is those opinions seem to pervade nearly every discussion we get into. We had my parents over and my dad got angry over the Impossible burger, Game of Thrones, and sports just to name a few.

Arkanim94 · Jul 30, 2019

Landy828 said:
His only comment, and he went quiet after that, was "Well, if you get your way and this becomes a communist country, I hope you don't mind them coming for everything you have."

Red scare still works I see.

neon/drifter · Jul 30, 2019

Noppie said:
Have you tried talking normally about it before going off?

This. Shouting or "going off" about anything makes people reflexively close their ears and protect their minds. Volume doesn't break down walls, it reinforces them

Euphoria · Jul 30, 2019

OP do yourself a favor and ignore anyone in this thread telling you to cut off members of your family.

You will end up regretting it.

davepoobond · Jul 30, 2019

"Just had my friends weird son flip out about my social media page. lol liberals"

PHOENIXZERO · Jul 30, 2019

You're not alone, Fox News and Sinclair Broadcasting have done a real number on people past a certain age, never mind shit on Youtube and Facebook if they're on it. There's been a lot of articles, books and documentaries about how they've been brainwashed. Unfortunately a large portion of late Millennials and Gen-Z seem to be following suit in no small part thanks to Youtube as well.

Don Fluffles · Jul 30, 2019

nintendoman58 said:
I feel like the best way to go about this with family and friends is to act like you don't give a shit about politics.

If you act all angry and passionate, they'll immediately assume your part of "the enemy" that the right keeps talking about.

But if you act like an outsider, someone who couldn't care less about politics, and say things like "The guy's a buffoon", or "Maybe step away from the news and online stuff for a bit?", it might be a better attempt to at least start weening people off of this stuff. Try and act as calm and rational as possible when explaining things, and also try not to seem fazed when they say something absurd.

Because "those angry emotional liberals!" is what they're being told to watch out for by the right online. Once it delves into a shouting match, nobody's going to get anywhere and they'll just remain entrenched in their comfort zones.

Maybe if you have some liberal friends, try bringing a bunch of them over and have a discussion there too.

Good idea.

Contrapoints, in her video critiquing the left, suggested that we become "stone cold mother f***ers". However, it's worth pointing out and mocking the hypocrisy of how easily outraged the right gets over stuff that offends their "moral" sensibilities. I remember how much of a shit fit they got in the 90s and 2000's over games, TV, and anyone who dared say they weren't Christian.

Zoph · Jul 30, 2019

Euphoria said:
OP do yourself a favor and ignore anyone in this thread telling you to cut off members of your family.

You will end up regretting it.

I didn't. Not all family relationships are healthy and productive. Political things like this being a tipping point are frequently the symptoms of much deeper problems with an already-struggling connection.

ArrogantBastard · Jul 30, 2019

neon/drifter said:
This. Shouting or "going off" about anything makes people reflexively close their ears and protect their minds. Volume doesn't break down walls, it reinforces them

Yah, okay. I'm sure there has never been an attempt at a normal conversation about this shit in their 'discussions'. You aren't going to calmly talk someone out of a cult, shits a losing battle.

No amount of research and gentle demeanor is going to get them to understand putting kids in a concentration camp just because they are trying to escape a life surrounded by turmoil. Same goes for climate change, LGBTQ equality, systemic racism, gun violence, taxation, reproductive rights, on and on and on.

The game is lost, you have nearly every republican out their straight up saying Democrats are not Democrats anymore they are full blown Socialists.

Landy828 · Jul 30, 2019

Noppie said:
Have you tried talking normally about it before going off?

neon/drifter said:
This. Shouting or "going off" about anything makes people reflexively close their ears and protect their minds. Volume doesn't break down walls, it reinforces them

"Going off" in my case simply means challenging them and talking to them.

It didn't involve any yelling, or even "anger" from me. I'd say it was more of a firm/no BS attitude, which I think really caught them off guard. It was me simply laying out every single fact to them and countering all the fake/false stuff they spew with reality.

It wasn't a loud confrontation, haha. I don't think I've yelled at anyone in my 36 years on this planet.

Flex1212 · Jul 30, 2019

Good for you man. I did the same as well.

Elegant Weapon · Jul 30, 2019

neon/drifter said:
This. Shouting or "going off" about anything makes people reflexively close their ears and protect their minds. Volume doesn't break down walls, it reinforces them

That's why they love trump's calm rhetoric and strong orator skills, no doubt.

ArrogantBastard · Jul 30, 2019

Euphoria said:
OP do yourself a favor and ignore anyone in this thread telling you to cut off members of your family.

You will end up regretting it.

I don't think he should cut them off, but what they are going to end up with is a dead relationship that is a shadow of its former self. The relationship I had with my parents pre 2012 is going to be severely missed. He changed so much, he isn't close to being the same person he was. Whats more hurtful is he has changed my mother.

Deleted member 50454 · Jul 30, 2019

Euphoria said:
OP do yourself a favor and ignore anyone in this thread telling you to cut off members of your family.

You will end up regretting it.

His family sound like a sack of cunts. What would he be regretting?

You're not obliged to tolerate these people just because your dad spunked up your mum at some point in time.

Distance yourself from them as best you can, and use them when you need to.

Euphoria · Jul 30, 2019

Zophar said:
I didn't. Not all family relationships are healthy and productive. Political things like this being a tipping point are frequently the symptoms of much deeper problems with an already-struggling connection.

Understood but we are talking about a site where barely a week ago a user posted about how his family supports Trump or Republicans and how they don't berate him for being Liberal nor do they do anything negative in any regard. In the thread I'm speaking of the OP even speaks of how supportive his family is of him overall.

People still told him to cut them off, milk them as much as possible financially before cutting them off, etc...

I wouldn't take advice from many on this site because many people just want to see and create conflict and I would suggest OP do the same.

These parents were likely different before Trump and will very likely change once again when Trump is out of office.

Sai · Jul 30, 2019

Euphoria said:
Understood but we are talking about a site where barely a week ago a user posted about how his family supports Trump or Republicans and how they don't berate him for being Liberal nor do they do anything negative in any regard. In the thread I'm speaking of the OP even speaks of how supportive his family is of him overall.

People still told him to cut them off, milk them as much as possible financially before cutting them off, etc...

I wouldn't take advice from many on this site because many people just want to see and create conflict and I would suggest OP do the same.

These parents were likely different before Trump and will very likely change once again when Trump is out of office.

Trump voters/right wingers are conflict-avoidant? huge lol

Euphoria · Jul 30, 2019

Bernard Coleslaw said:
His family sound like a sack of cunts. What would he be regretting?

You're not obliged to tolerate these people just because your dad spunked up your mum at some point in time.

Distance yourself from them as best you can, and use them when you need to.

Yeah, cut them off unless you need something from them.

Great advice.

Fisty · Jul 30, 2019

Real conversation:

"Well you are my kids, I can say things and you guys know that I'm not racist, i just have an opinion"

>"I think you are racist"

"Well i know you don't believe that"

They are Fox News indoctrinated drones.

Euphoria · Jul 30, 2019

Sai said:
Trump voters/right wingers are conflict-avoidant? huge lol

By chance are you aware of the thread I'm talking about?

Or are you saying even if you have a great relationship with your family you should still cut them off?

GatsGatsby · Jul 30, 2019

I feel you OP especially since we're both from SC. I never had the best relationship with my dad but some of the shit his wife posts on facebook makes me want to throw shit and I know he shares her opinion.

Pomerlaw · Jul 30, 2019

whiskeystrike said:
My brother is the only other person in my family who cares about politics and he went from Trump's number one fan to Sanders/Warren fan

lol

Finally got tired of the BS and challenged my Dad/Friends over their sharing of fake/racist/sexist/political memes/comments

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