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DJGolfClap

Avenger
Apr 28, 2018
797
Vancouver
Hey, I realize I'm a little late to the party, but I just started to go through all the seasons of "Friends" a little while ago (I'm in season 6 now), after only ever seeing a handful of episodes in re-runs.

First off, I must confess that I'm a trans person, and I haven't been out long, so I may be a little sensitive to this kind of thing. That said, "Friends", while having its funny moment(s) (pretty much just Ross' teeth whitening), is some problematic garbage.

1: All-out transphobia: When Ross has to apply Rachel's makeup due to an injury, he goes a little overboard. Think of the makeup shotgun from the Simpsons. After she sees herself in the mirror, she says something like "This looks FINE, I'll just be sitting in the back of the room with the TRANSSEXUAL!" Laugh track goes NUTS. Chandler's "dad" is a TRANS WOMAN, with a woman's name, living as a woman, but is CONSTANTLY being dead named and misgendered, up to and including jokes like "Don't you have a bit too much penis to wear a dress like that?" Hilarious!

2: Homophobia: Heaven forbid any of the guys accidentally touch each other or have to open up about feelings. I'm surprised they don't all yell "NO HOMO!" After making eye contact. There's a running joke about Chandler's sexuality - he may be gay because Monica and him make potpourri sachets! It KILLS Ross that his son Ben may like to play with Barbie dolls. Ross having married a lesbian - and the lesbian couple themselves - are played for the cheapest sad-sack laughs.

3. Toxic masculinity: All of the above kind of fits in this spot, but there's more. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are allowed to entertain thought experiments like "Which of the other women in the group would I date?" When the men are asked the same thing about them, everyone refuses to answer except for - you guessed it! Chandler says "Joey!" and the other two back up because they don't want to catch his queerness. And the way the show plays off the objectification of women for laughs is completely messed up. There are a few "Hey, women aren't objects… JUST KIDDING!!" jokes, and they're all terrible.

But one of the worst to me —

4. PLAYING OFF FEMALE-TO-MALE DOMESTIC ABUSE FOR LAUGHS. Joey dates a girl played by Punk Brewster, and her thing is that she is constantly "playfully" punching Joey as hard as she can. When Joey expresses this to the group, EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Lines up to gaslight him and tell him to "man up". This isn't funny now and I can't even believe it was "funny" then.

I know that I've left out so many examples, and I want to hear them. Before anyone asks why I'm still watching it, well, I often have it on in the background, and at this point I'm pretty much doing it to see how fucking terrible it gets. I can't believe anyone genuinely, un-ironically loved this show - FOR TEN SEASONS. Is the fact that it's terrible, problematic garbage pretty much the accepted feeling about it? I'll give you the answer - it's not, and I'm super disappointed.

EDIT: I don't know if "it was a different time/things were acceptable then" when the show is still in HUGE DEMAND in re-runs and streaming. People are still loving this show.
 
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DJGolfClap

DJGolfClap

Avenger
Apr 28, 2018
797
Vancouver
Oh yeah, I forgot the FAT JOKES! Obesity is hilarious. "Ugly Naked Guy" used to be "Cute Naked Guy" before he gained the weight! And don't even get me started on Monica.
 

The Flop

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
571
It's ... I mean from the 90's / 00's.


Edit: None of this seems surprising even your last point.
tumblr_inline_p5avys0ejv1u91fpe_250.gif
 

The Masked Mufti

The Wise Ones
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
3,989
Scotland
I don't mean this as an attempt to shut down your post (which I fully read) but Friends is a product of its time. That doesn't make it ok, but those kinds of jokes were acceptable back then.
 

Garou

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,631
Friends is an extremely superficial series that boils down to "attractive people do silly things", trying to find some sort of moral compass in there is futile.
Watch Seinfeld instead, that at least isn't sugarcoating that it's characters are assholes sometimes (on top of having actually witty writing).
 
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DJGolfClap

DJGolfClap

Avenger
Apr 28, 2018
797
Vancouver
I don't mean this as an attempt to shut down your post (which I fully read) but Friends is a product of its time. That doesn't make it ok, but those kinds of jokes were acceptable back then.

I understand that, but it's huge on Netflix. People still love this show. Netflix still pays millions of dollars for the right to air it.

People are DIGGING this humour.
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,446
I legitimately think every episode has something homophobic in it, and for the people who say it's a product of its time, its contemporaries certainly had homophobic stuff (those guys in the Seinfeld soup episode for example) but it wasn't early as common as on Friends.
 

TheBeardedOne

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
22,189
Derry
It's an older show and a product of its time. Still the best sitcom on TV as well.

Just avoid it.
 
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L Thammy

Spacenoid
Member
Oct 25, 2017
50,095
I think "product of its time" is a bit of a cheap excuse. There were also TV shows addressing homophobia at around the time, including Friends itself, so I don't think everyone was just unaware that it was a legitimate issue. Additionally, while it may be something in the background in other shows, Chander is heavily surrounded with doubts about his sexuality and such, which makes it a lasting thread through Friends rather than just a one-off thing.
 
Oct 27, 2017
3,826
That's because people can ignore the problematic elements for what they like about the show - the lame, milquetoast humor and drawn out romantic drama.
 

Deleted member 3010

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,974
You're right.

It was like that back then. Not excusing it of course, it's just that there's been a lot of progress done with society since that era on that front, and I'm being very polite while I'm saying this.
 

crienne

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,180
Yes, yes it is. I still love my memories of it, but rewatching the entire series is off the table as I just know I won't like it as much anymore.

Girlfriend's been rewatching HIMYM at night—which is essentially the second-coming of Friends for me—and oh lord is that show way more problematic than I remember.
 

Mest08

Alt Account
Banned
Oct 30, 2017
1,184
A lot of the things you mention in your post happen in real life, even today. I know several people who would make fun of a guy getting beat up by a girl. I know several people who still say no homo. I know several people who would want their boys playing with girl dolls. And I don't think any of that will ever change.
 

TheIlliterati

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
4,782
I understand that, but it's huge on Netflix. People still love this show. Netflix still pays millions of dollars for the right to air it.

People are DIGGING this humour.
Who knows if people are remembering the show for those specific jokes. There's hundreds of episodes with non problematic moments. Of course those badly aged moments stand out now, but it doesn't mean they stand out to everyone or that they can't just cringe at it and move past it. It'd be better if they didn't exist but times were different.
 

Deleted member 6949

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
7,786
Yeah all of the characters on that show are obnoxious, but its not self aware about it like Seinfeld.
 

Olaf

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,419
Friends was always lame, and in the field of problematic garbage, everything you listed is lame.
 

L Thammy

Spacenoid
Member
Oct 25, 2017
50,095
I've also vaguely recalling hearing it was a bit nasty backstage. The main actors were at least nice to each other, and so if you look at the blooper reels you can see they're all having a lot of fun. But apparently the staff backstage they tended to be pretty dismissive of minority actors, referring them as "asian guy" or whatever.
 

Watchtower

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,664
It's super problematic because it's a product of the 90s, back when homosexuals and transexuals were considered acceptable targets and when words like "retard" were still common vernacular. It's also super popular because a whole generation grew up and fell in love with it, and it serves as an important cornerstone of American pop culture because of it.

I'd like to hope that said importance helps highlight not only how much things have progressed since then but how recent that progression has been. Like, you're not the first nor last one to note how downright cringe-inducing Friends's problematic elements are, and I'd argue that growing awareness is for the better.
 
Oct 27, 2017
17,446
Who knows if people are remembering the show for those specific jokes. There's hundreds of episodes with non problematic moments. Of course those badly aged moments stand out now, but it doesn't mean they stand out to everyone or that they can't just cringe at it and move past it. It'd be better if they didn't exist but times were different.
There aren't. That stuff is in pretty much every episode.
 

TheBeardedOne

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
22,189
Derry
It's not in nearly every episode. Not even close.

It was also a different time back then, and there's a reason why Netflix paid $100 million for it.
 

Deleted member 3815

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,633
Don't forget the show whiteness and badly they tried to integrate a PoC character into the show, it was not organic at all.

4. PLAYING OFF FEMALE-TO-MALE DOMESTIC ABUSE FOR LAUGHS. Joey dates a girl played by Punk Brewster, and her thing is that she is constantly "playfully" punching Joey as hard as she can. When Joey expresses this to the group, EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Lines up to gaslight him and tell him to "man up". This isn't funny now and I can't even believe it was "funny" then.

To be fair that's still a problem today as no-one is willing to except that a man can be a victim of rape or domestic abuse.

People value nostalgia more than progress

This pretty much, I encounter this problem when I point out that Indiana Jones is very problematic with Temple of Doom being racist or the "That belongs in a museum line."

And they're like "but but muh nostalgia" and I am like "I don't care, a racist movie is racist and deserved to be trashed over it."
 
Jan 10, 2018
6,327
I think "product of its time" is a bit of a cheap excuse. There were also TV shows addressing homophobia at around the time, including Friends itself, so I don't think everyone was just unaware that it was a legitimate issue. Additionally, while it may be something in the background in other shows, Chander is heavily surrounded with doubts about his sexuality and such, which makes it a lasting thread through Friends rather than just a one-off thing.

I'm personally looking forward to the it were the 2010s hot takes to shrug off systemic abuse.
 
Oct 25, 2017
32,306
Atlanta GA
The One Where The OP's Thread Backfires

I wouldn't call it a backfire, it's more just like "yeah, it is." It was accepted at the time because that kind of humor was acceptable at the time. It's accepted now because that kind of humor is just an uncomfortable side effect of it being a product of its time, and for most straight white people it's easy enough to ignore those things for the sake of nostalgia and the cheap laughs/drama. Friends has a very limited reach if you're not someone who would belong in that group. It was never a good show either IMO.
 

Azoor

Member
Oct 25, 2017
682
Kuwait
I don't see it as surprising considering the time period it came from, I think it's perfectly fine to still point out the horrible things about it though.
 

Lothars

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,765
Who knows if people are remembering the show for those specific jokes. There's hundreds of episodes with non problematic moments. Of course those badly aged moments stand out now, but it doesn't mean they stand out to everyone or that they can't just cringe at it and move past it. It'd be better if they didn't exist but times were different.
That's how I feel, I can acknowledge that it does all the things that op mentioned and still enjoy watching the show.
 

bionic77

Member
Oct 25, 2017
30,895
Friends was super vanilla even when it came out.

If this show is offensive then what comedy that came out more than 5 years ago is not offensive?

And OP why did you get 6 seasons into it if you hate it?

And if you think Friends is bad then don't watch anything from the 80s or earlier...
 

Pacify

Member
Oct 30, 2017
246
4. PLAYING OFF FEMALE-TO-MALE DOMESTIC ABUSE FOR LAUGHS. Joey dates a girl played by Punk Brewster, and her thing is that she is constantly "playfully" punching Joey as hard as she can. When Joey expresses this to the group, EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Lines up to gaslight him and tell him to "man up". This isn't funny now and I can't even believe it was "funny" then.
I didn't think she was doing it as hard as she can on purpose. She just seemed so unaware of anything other than she's cute and small (which says more about the writing.) I thought the pay off to the joke was that Joey was right and when she punches Rachael, Rachael punches back and eventually kicks her.
 

TheIlliterati

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
4,782
There aren't. That stuff is in pretty much every episode.
I'm saying that even if there's one problematic joke per episode, most people who are not affected by those issues probably don't register it. They are neither foaming homophobic Trump supporters just watching Friends to tear minorities apart and they're also not not noticing the problem 99% of the time. THey can enjoy the show beyond those stereotypes. I'm just saying focusing on Friends as if it was a beacon is pointless as time has moved on. People who still like it have nostaligia, not hate for minorities.
 

Kapryov

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,149
Australia
It's also white as white can be, the whitest representation of NY that could exist

I admit I enjoyed it when it was airing and I was young, I change the channel when it comes on these days though, it's more miss than hit with the jokes.
 

Chaos Legion

The Wise Ones
Member
Oct 30, 2017
16,925
It's a sitcom from the 90's. If it was released this year, of course things would be heavily changed and edited. But it was bold enough to even tough subjects that most would have just ignored.

I'm not a huge Friends fan. It came out when I was 4. I got into it as an adult. The 20's aren't an easy time, especially moving to NYC with no friends or contacts. But it offered an escape, even if it was a completely unbelievable escape (they couldn't afford those apartments in NYC today, lol. That's problematic).

It's unfair to hold shows that are nearly 30 years old to today's standards. Imagine what I feel, as a PoC if I did that to...any show previously.
 

jb1234

Very low key
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,236
Some things haven't aged well, no. It's still one of my favorite sitcoms.
 

Musubi

Unshakable Resolve - Prophet of Truth
Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,630
Media still plays off physical/sexual abuse to men as laughs in a lot of media still even today in 2019. Sometimes even in kids shows. Its pretty awful.
 

Allstar

Member
Feb 9, 2019
53
How has no one mentioned yet that it completely ripped off and white-washed Queen Latifah's Living Single?

That's even more problematic than any actual content because it stole the premise, characters and episodes from a great, essential and important show from and for black people and then undermined and buried it with one that's completely ignorant towards literally everyone who's not straight or white. Lol.