Then not just coming out and saying that instead of saying he doesn't reschedule still says the same about him as a person. Not worth the effort. OP should move on acknowledging that a bullet was dodged.
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Got sick, calls rain check on date & he says he doesn’t do reschedule?
- Thread starter Illenium
- Start date
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In my experience women do mess guys around a lot with cancelling or trying to reschedule (hardly does get rescheduled).
Even if your reasons are legit from his perspective he probably heard this for the Xth time and just wanted to avoid time wasting.
If a reschedule request doesn't come with a fixed new day/time I would just assume it not gonna happen. I dunno why they can't just say they changed their mind, is as immature as ghosting.
Again, even if your reason is legit, he probably heard it a bunch of times from people who weren't legit.
I don't find either of you in the wrong.
Even if your reasons are legit from his perspective he probably heard this for the Xth time and just wanted to avoid time wasting.
If a reschedule request doesn't come with a fixed new day/time I would just assume it not gonna happen. I dunno why they can't just say they changed their mind, is as immature as ghosting.
Again, even if your reason is legit, he probably heard it a bunch of times from people who weren't legit.
I don't find either of you in the wrong.
Rescheduling is actually the most common way to have your time wasted a second time. And why should it be on the person who got cancelled on to request a reschedule?
That's not the situation here. It wasn't on the person who was cancelled on to request a reschedule because it was the person who had to cancel making the request. Two wholly opposite scenarios.
But he basically did say that. I don't understand what you want from him here lol. He didn't string her along, make up excuses or whatever. He was upfront and clear. What else do you owe someone you've never met and know for a few days?
Why does he owe her the opportunity to reschedule?
She didn't request to reschedule. She asked for a rain check, which is asking to reschedule at some unknown point in the future.
Requesting to reschedule is also a way to politely refuse not to go out on the date, string the person along cause someone better came up or just a way for her to politely refuse and fade out. As a guy when your given the request to reschedule you have to consider pretty much all of this and weigh up whether or not she is telling the truth and whether she's worth the time and effort again. Some times you decide to give the benefit of the doubt and it goes well, but a lot of the time it goes poorly and you end up being strung along and eventually ghosted.
That's the game. Now personally I would have just said get well soon and let me know when your free. But at that point personal expirience has taught me to expect nothing and just move on.The only thing I could say the dude did wrong was that he was too direct about his reasoning but he was still well within he's own right to refuse.
But ultimately what both the guy and the op did wrong is that they cut off communication till date day. If they had talked then the guy would have probably caught on that she really was sick and maybe not been too hasty. Oh well, you live you learn.
OP
OP
I haven't talked in this thread in almost 24 hours lol. And I mentioned in OP with the edits that I'm not upset or anything. Was just confused but I got clarity with the thread. With that said, idk why this thread is still on fire lol.
The person who got cancelled on doesn't know the one who canceled. They owe each other nothing at all.
Honesty. It's all in the phrasing. They way he did it is a look at his personality. He either feels he's too good to reschedule, or he changed his mind on the date be wanted to gaslight the final exchange instead of being upfront about changing his mind. Either way, it's not a good look.
I just don't get it. y'all say more rude things to people you reguarly come into contact with anonymously on this site, than this person did to OP, and he's the asshole? Neither are assholes and neither owe each other anything especially since the dude the was canceled on the day of the date. The dude literally could've ghosted OP and he still would've been within his right to do so. At that point I can't even warrant ghosting being an asshole move because it's a social norm of online dating.
OP
OP
It literally says nothing about his personality except that he doesn't like reschedules. Do you assume this much about everyone in real life?
I see. My mistake. In that case I still dont blame the not wanting to reschedule. Unfortunately people who cancel once are extremely likely to do it again. You have no way of being able to tell if they are being truthful about being sick or not. I've seen it at least 100 times myself. Eventually people just get tired of the shit and just move on to the next person. Once you've wasted enough of your time making flaky reschedules, you just dont care anymore. This is pretty common now with online dating.
It is unfortunate if the person is actually sick and genuinely wanted to meet up though. In which case, a decent amount of time for a heads up before the date with a concrete plan for a reschedule will help you out a lot in that situation.
I'm thinking much the same about you and your ridiculous shitposting about a person you've never met and despite what you'd like to think, actually know nothing about.
You're assuming an awful lot about someone you know literally nothing about based on one message they sent to another person you also know literally nothing about. You're not being reasonable here.
What Red flag are you alluding to? There's not enough information here to make a determination either way. OP doesn't even have enough information to make a determination because they've barely spoken. So you're assuming.
Red flags are red flags. Everything I've said in here is in support of OP moving on and not being bothered by some random guy. I guess that's not what we do for each other here?
I'd have done exactly as the guy did. Unless the OP had mentioned before she was sick and we should keep the date tentative. Springing it the day of is classic excuse #1.
Thanks!
OP
OP
... this thread is getting out of hand and becoming what seems to be more of an argument than a debate. Soooo... with that said, I'm gonna just not pay attention to the thread. And mods, if you feel it getting out of hand, feel free to close it! Thanks.
for all those who have supported me, I appreciate you tons and tons 💜.
For those who have given me clarity on why he did what he did, you are also acknowledged and appreciated!
for all those who have supported me, I appreciate you tons and tons 💜.
For those who have given me clarity on why he did what he did, you are also acknowledged and appreciated!
Have you actually read the thread? All of it? Also nice deflection???
Yes these are the two options we have. Declare the guy is terrible or pile on the OP.
Op asked for perspective, unfortunately that perspective isn't all in her favour.
More like the opposite.
9/10 times asking to reschedule is basically code for "I changed my mind, don't want a date with you ". Even if they give a new day/time suggestion (which maybe 1 of those 9 do) that'll get cancelled too. It's just people cowering away from saying they not interested anymore, same as ghosting.
Cancelling a first date hours before it's meant to take place is a red flag.
If the second one gets canceled then you know, otherwise, you're just assuming all those would be cancelled by not giving the person a chance. You have to understand that people are, you know, people and things happen.
Literally no one has done that. The argument from most people here is that no one was in the wrong.
That fact that so many people have piled on me for not repeating the group consensus disproves your claim.
The person should have told him he was sick days before instead of hours before.
You've never kept a date hoping you feel better the day of?
People are piling on you for attacking the dude. Most people in this thread think neither party have issues and amicably moved on like adults for reasons that revolve around failed communication and online dating norms. Idk why you're being so obtuse.
I was giving my opinion of the situation but am obtuse for having a differing view. Again, you're still proving my point.
But if you know you might not be better why wouldnt you let your date know?
i think it's more bizarre that there was zero communication between setting up the date and the cancellation. surprised they didn't swap numbers beforehand
I went to a Celtics game with someone who told me she was sick before the game and she still went while sick. So yeah it's nice she didn't cancel when she first got sick but she let me know and not day of.
I've never told someone day of that I'm sick because I tell them as soon as my throat is feeling itchy so they know.
No, You're being obtuse because I explicitly told you why people are piling on you and your response is we're just doing so because of your "different view" without even considering the merits of that view.
That's a valid point. But others may view you telling someone your sick as a precursor to flaking out.
The sick excuse is so prevalent that bringing it up beforehand could trigger a preemptive cancellation as well.
You told me why you don't agree with my view. So, if you're going to call me obtuse for having my opinion and not changing it because yours differs, then you should acknowledge that you, too, are being obtuse for not changing yours based on my opinion. The reality is, that neither of us are being obtuse, we just have differing opinions on the situation and for some reason you can't seem to handle that with taking personal jabs.
If they cancel then you saved yourself a lot of time and money. I wouldnt want to date someone like that.
Because you're putting blame on one party when neither party is to blame.
I agree, the same reason I wouldn't feel bad about not getting a reschedule with someone who refuses to understand that things happen.
Exactly the OP put zero effort into rescheduling. It is not up to the guy to beg at that point.
People are responsible for how they handle situations. I was being supportive of the OP by saying that they're better of than trying to date someone who wasn't understanding that things happen. Everything else was people creating imagined scenarios that I was responding about.
She didn't handle it better? She canceled at the last minute and knew she was sick before the day of the date lmao. Your differing opinion simply consists of ignore facts
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