I got you, OP. As a self-described Vegas maniac, let me hit you with some tips. I visit at minimum four times a year - either for work or for pleasure. I've got war stories to trade for days about the spot, but I've learned a couple of great things over the past few years that make my frequent visits tolerable.
Tips to Know:
1. First of all, where are you staying? If you're staying on the South strip (near Resorts World, Encore, Tacos El Gordo, etc.) -
as soon as you get in town, stop by the Walgreens or CVS up there and grab a huge jug of water and some snacks to tide you over in your hotel. Vegas is expensive as SHIT. Getting essential snacks/water at a reasonable price will have you thanking me. Vegas can get hot. Make sure you stay hydrated - if I see you and your wife panting across any sidewalks because you had too many peach bellinis and not enough Aquafinis, I'm laughing and taking a picture of y'all.
2. When you're checking into your hotel, slip the desk clerk $20 with your credit card and ID when they ask for it. This isn't for a sexy secret dance or low-grade cocaine. You'll end up getting a room upgrade, free wifi, waived resort fees, etc. Let the desk clerk do their thing for you. It's a small investment for a major upgrade on your experience in Vegas. Money goes a long way, and giving the clerk $20 can help out. I've kinda done this in any major tourist city now and it always ends up making my experience a whole world of a lot better.
3. If availability for a high-demand restaurant isn't available online, call the casino concierge attached to the restaurant and ask if they can do it for you.
4. Leave Uber/Lyft alone. Vegas price controls taxis
so that you spend your time gambling and not wasting time/money getting to casinos so they can stuff their pockets and ignore marginalized/rapidly gentrified areas and pushing out the community that built Vegas in the first place in order to get folks like you and your wife around the city easily and without being price gouged. It's quicker, usually cheaper, and is just more convenient getting around in cabs that are attached to the airport/hotels/casinos in the area. Bring some cash to tip the taxi doorman/woman.
5. Wear sunscreen and bring your sunglasses. Please.
Where to Eat - again, this is all quite dependent on where you're staying and what you have tolerance for in terms of travel. I tend to stay on the South Strip because it's somewhat close to more price-moderate eats - and it's always a little bit chiller in terms of demographic and foot traffic.
Breakfast Recommendations:
1) Bouchon @ The Venetian Resort - You're going with your lovely lady. The breakfast pastries and the ambiance here are genuinely life-changing. Make sure you book your reservation in advance. If you're a coffee drinker - the coffee here is phenomenal. Come early in the morning (between 9 and 10) and
GET THE CHEESE DANISH. PLEASE, OP. I WILL FIGHT YOU IF YOU DON'T.
2) Peppermill @ South Strip - Alright, a little bit of whiplash between my first recommendation and my second here, but I promise I'm not insane. This isn't as fancy as Bouchon. This is a 24/7 diner with lots of booze options and portion sizes that will slow you down for the rest of the day. Omelettes, waffles, biscuits, mimosas galore. The service here is really fun and I love the regular employees here. If you have to wait, wait in the back and listen to the 24/7 music video TVs that they have up in the back. It'll be like teleporting back 30 years in time.
3)
Eggslut @ The Cosmopolitan - Tehehe, Eggslut. Beyond the name, this place whips up some really tasty egg sandwiches. I've changed the way I've cooked eggs to be a bit more creme-y and fraiche-y since my first visit here, and I always consider that a good sign. Worth the visit.
4)
Hash House a Go Go @ The Linq -
More booze than breakfast, but the food is good and unique.
5)
Alexxa's @ The Paris - Bottomless mimosas. Need I say more?
Lunch Recommendations:
Black Tap Burgers š“ @ Palazzo - Make the family group chat jealous with one of those big-ass milkshake monstrosities and then feel horrible about yourself afterwards and take a nap in your room. You're in Vegas, OP, calories don't count!
Yama Sushi @ South Strip, or Chinatown - $40 all you can eat sushi! In Vegas! Wait... why are you running away? WAIT! I promise, it's good. Trust me - I'm not a sushi person - but this is one of the few places that makes sushi really fresh. Check it out.
Canonita @ The Venetian - Listen, the food here is just okay. The views by the boardwalk though? Primo. Watch as Vegas-natives named John sing to tipsy tourists and ferry them around in gondola boats on an indoor recreation of Venice.
Grab a margarita or two and tip well. You'll thank me later.
Dinner Recommendations:
DAMN, you're still hungry!? You're on your own here. You really can't go wrong in Vegas if you're looking for something fast or casual past 7 PM in Vegas. If you're gunning for something fancier, don't be a nonce - book your reservation in advance and don't give the front of house any hassle.
Late Night Recommendations:
TACOS. EL. GORDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WAITING IN LINE HERE IS LIKE CHRISTMAS - GET SOME COW TONGUE TACOS. WHY IS EVERYONE IN HERE SCREAMING??!?! WE'RE ALL TIPSY AND TACOS HERE ARE LIKE $3 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Where to Drink:
You're with wifey! Go to the
Cosmopolitan's Chandelier Bar for exquisite sights. Get the Verbena drink - it's unlike any other liquor experience you'll have. Don't Google it - it's the most popular in Vegas for a reason. Just order it and listen to the bartender's instructions when you get it. Have fun!
2)
Royal Britannia @ The Venetian -
What to Do --
GAMBLE. I'm serious, OP. Set aside some fun coupons that you're prepared to pour down the drain on low-stakes slots, the sportsbook, and basic games of 21. If you're a risk-averse person with a modicum of sense, you'll know that you shouldn't gamble anything that you're prepared to lose. At least have fun doing it.
1) Omega Mart/Area 15
2) Cirque De Soleil - BEATLES Experience - I don't even like The Beatles like this, but this was a banger. I was also kinda tipsy when I went, so that might explain it. Confirm this for me, OP.
3) The Sphere - shoutout to
Eddy Burback
4) The Flower Display @ The Wynn
5) Ferguson's Downtown - grab a coffee in the AM/early PM and sat on the terrace talking and people watching.
6) Neon Museum
7) Mob Museum
8) Reef Dispensary - my personal favorite, located in the South Strip. (if y'all partake in the ganjaweedsmokedevilslettuce)
I'm jealous of you, OP. I wish I could revisit Vegas with fresh eyes. You and your wife have a blast and please live to tell the tale for ResetERA. :)
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