How do you deal with existential dread?

[Speedstersonic]

So i've found i've now gone from being somewhat suicidal to now constantly thinking about existential dread to the point i'm starting to have panic attacks. Over half my life is gone, i'm nowhere near where i wanted to be by this point in my life, idk how much longer i will last and all i can think about it is how devastated my husband would be. I've talked with my husband about this but the panic attacks haven't subsided. I need advice, i'm not sure how to handle this.

I'm on Wellbutrin, maybe i need to up the dosage or something? I'm concerned this may start affecting my work.

 

[Lynd]

Probably not as bad as you, currently I guess. But recently Ive had similar thoughts about dying, not existing and that yeah, Im probably about halfway to go.

I have type 1 diabetes, so presumably late 60s/early 70s could be a thing, might not, but still.

The thought didnt bother me much in the past, yeah, one day Ill die, but thats ages away. I guess this is somewhat of a midlife crisis type thing.

Anyway, I cant give any advice but I feel I understand somewhat.

 

[TimotheusNL]

Honestly? You need to visit a doctor/psychiatrist/psychotherapist and talk about it.

Resetera is a poor substitute.

 

[AshenOne]

Iam half way through kind of? But yeah I do have small concerns regarding my future health as I want to get more slimmer so I can live longer potentially..

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

I gave up and went dead inside. My soulless was husk is simply here waiting out it's time.

 

[LProtagonist]

I spoke with my doctor and changed my meds when my feelings of anxiety started to border on panic attacks during the pandemic. Talking with whoever is prescribing your Wellbutrin is a good start.

 

[JB Hunkamunka]

Honestly not trying to make light of your feelings, for me a shift in perspective does wonders whenever I feel the dread of the existential void:

 

[Helix]

yeah, honestly talk to you doctor and based on that see if you need an up in dosage because those panic attacks are a motherfucker. If you see an uptick in panic attacks then yeah its best to go forward with a consultation, in the meanwhile practice daily breathing exercises or just exercising in general if you can is a good way to curb it popping up again.

just don't try to do everything at once, take things slowly

 

[Speedstersonic]

Honestly? You need to visit a doctor/psychiatrist/psychotherapist and talk about it.

Resetera is a poor substitute.

Click to shrink...

I'm looking into options, idk where to look for this kind of thing where i live which is in the middle of nowhere.

 

[davidnolan13]

i used to worry and it was when i was looking after my father in law when he had cancer i realised there were worse things than dying, since then its never bothered me.

 

[jungius]

I'm looking into options, idk where to look for this kind of thing where i live which is in the middle of nowhere.

Click to shrink...

sometimes talk with your RL friends also helps, good luck!

 

[chirt]

Personally I've found that something akin to absurdism helps. Nothing matters so just have fun and be a good person.

 

[djplaeskool]

With a strange mix of uncanny determination and abject nihilism.

 

[Speedstersonic]

sometimes talk with your RL friends also helps, good luck!

Click to shrink...

yeah even talking with my husband i broke down and had a panic attack right there, idk if i could hold that shit in with RL friends either.

 

[WhateverItTakes]

I don't think my stresses are about existential angst, though it plays into it. I got prescribed Propranolol as a beta blocker to help, and it honestly does calm me down. I think cus I have gastro issues I'm quite in tune to my body, so if my stomach is churning or heart is racist, that manifests as anxiety in itself. So at least if I can slow down my heart rate that slows down my brain a bit. Maybe it would help you too.

 

[data west]

Go to the gym

 

[PennyPasta]

It's certainly difficult and something I struggle with a lot myself. When the thoughts really start welling up in me, I take some time to go and focus my attention on something I really love... doesn't mean I'm throwing the thought to the side, but it gives my brain a break and stops it from becoming overwhelming.

Also, talk to a Doctor and get a referral to a Psychiatrist. I only got started with one recently, and while things are moving slowly to start with, I cannot understate how good it feels to open up to someone about all my anxiety and trauma, and have them actually be willing to listen and help.

 

[dejay]

I've literally just finished playing the Talos Principle funnily enough.

It's a pretty reductionist philosophy, but "be excellent to each other and party on dudes" does as well as any other.

Honest answer....I try not to think about it too much beyond the abstract. I joke a lot about dying. I trivialise it. In some ways I welcome it, I know that I'm already dead, but it's not my time yet. I think you get more tired as you get older and it becomes easier. I dunno.

I read a book called "The death of forever" a couple of decades ago. Not sure if it will help you, but I found it comforting.

 

[Dan Thunder]

Aside from seeing professionals I'd say that if you're halfway through your life think back to things when you were a small child and realise how far away they actually are. You still have that amount of time, maybe more, so try not to think that halfway means everything should be set for the rest of your life as you probably have a lot more time than you realise.

 

[TheXbox]

Exercise. Running allows me to momentarily ignore my mortality.

 

[Bladelaw]

Honestly? You need to visit a doctor/psychiatrist/psychotherapist and talk about it.

Resetera is a poor substitute.

Click to shrink...

This.
Remote therapy is an option if in person isn't available. At work so I can't do much searching other than to say avoid BetterHelp.

On topic I had issues with existential dread. The solution, for me, was to stop caring. And I know this isn't a good thing, or an easy thing for some folks but for me it helped to look at my feelings objectively, figure out where they were coming from, evaluate their validity, and ultimately decide if it was worth concerning myself over.

I'm going to die eventually. This is an objective fact. Worrying about why/when/how doesn't improve my life so it's a concern I can safely toss.
For feelings of existential dread, the "why am I here, nothing matters" question the answer, again for me, is that there is no reason I'm here. I'm a blip of a spec in the great span of existence. Nothing I do will really matter beyond a generation or two at best and that realization is very freeing. It means I can do almost anything. I have personal rules I live by, chiefly that I want to be a positive presence in others lives (the phrase I use is don't be the villain in someone else's story) but other than that I just try to focus on one day at a time.

 

[Palas]

Please read what I'll say in the most charitable way you can: touch grass.

I absolutely mean it. Your feelings are valid and should be taken to a professional that can help, but also-- expanding your sensorial world often helps curbing the mental one. It's why grounding techniques help with anxiety. You pay attention to your senses and come back to the present time. Nature has a way to overwhelm our senses, especially touch, that our digital lives often sorely need. Taking a shower helps too! It can all be really meditative, and most importantly -- it grounds you in the fact that only one second passes every second, which is a protection against thinking about large timespans (i.e.: your whole life) or abstract places (i.e.: where you are in life).

I wish you all the strength within an arm's reach. It's all you need.

 

[Rosebud]

I agree you should see a therapist/psychiatrist, they will help with the panic attacks

Personally since I found out that nothing matters and nobody is born for a reason my life improved tenfold

 

[thewienke]

Honestly? You need to visit a doctor/psychiatrist/psychotherapist and talk about it.

Resetera is a poor substitute.

Click to shrink...

This is the real answer.

I spent a long time thinking about this thread and originally I was going to advocate the OP to "face the void" and challenge their basic assumptions and core beliefs and open themselves up to the world's philosophers and religions. Even if it takes you back to where you started, I think there's merit and comfort in the act of doing that because sometimes the shift in perspective can help.

But that's a grueling process and really the kind of thing that comes up and is managed by therapy sessions (in my anecdotal personal experience).

So my only real immediate advice is to make sure you're sleeping well since poor sleep always exacerbates whatever negative head space I might be in. Also that thoughts after midnight (or whatever you consider staying up late) generally aren't to be trusted since tiredness can amplify negative feelings.

 

[Speedstersonic]

This is the real answer.

I spent a long time thinking about this thread and originally I was going to advocate the OP to "face the void" and challenge their basic assumptions and core beliefs and open themselves up to the world's philosophers and religions. Even if it takes you back to where you started, I think there's merit and comfort in the act of doing that because sometimes the shift in perspective can help.

But that's a grueling process and really the kind of thing that comes up and is managed by therapy sessions (in my anecdotal personal experience).

So my only real immediate advice is to make sure you're sleeping well since poor sleep always exacerbates whatever negative head space I might be in. Also that thoughts after midnight (or whatever you consider staying up late) generally aren't to be trusted since tiredness can amplify negative feelings.

Click to shrink...

The thoughts are all day though now. I broke down middle of the day yesterday.

I'm contacting some psychologists in my area to see if they are taking new patients. It doesn't look promising though as reviews are stating for like all these places that it takes like a month or more for a first appointment which is crazy. There's just barely anything around here.

I'm really starting to think i may be bipolar, as one of my parents are and i know it can be hereditary, but i'm not familiar enough to know for sure if that is what's going on or not.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

Exercise and medication

 

[julia crawford]

if this is making it hard for you to live normally, you need professional help to give you the tools to be at the same time aware of these anxieties and not be subject to them in a way that's debilitating

i honestly don't think it's cool to ignore these feelings or realizations, instead it's important to be able to face them and not suffer from it unreasonably

 

[Merino]

I think only thing there is to do is to just make peace with the absurdity of life and the inevitability of impermanence. Meditation may help, though so can a lot of other things (touching grass example from previous user).

"You're insignificant. Yes you're magnificent, but you're insignificant. I've no doubt that deep down everyone knows. I've no doubt that what comes invariably goes."


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEdJGBa9gfs

 

[PatAndTheCat]

About 5 bong rips to make it 100% more intense

 

[Surakian]

Aha had this exact issue this morning at 4am 😎

You should seek professional help, and also consider increasing your daily physical activity. Can't have existential dread if you are too tired to think about it! (Also working out can trigger good hormones to boost mood)

In these moments when you feel the dread coming, I also recommend maybe pulling out a book or something and read—something light is preferable. Or play a bunch of cute videos of your favorite animals.

 

[BakedTanooki]

Absurdism | How to Party at the End of Meaning ☄️

New book of depressing poems: https://tinyurl.com/27fdfh63 (you may need to change your region)Link for those uninterested in depressing poems: https://youtu...

youtu.be

 

[Skade]

I can't say because the thought simply never crossed my mind. I barely have any plans for the future, i don't care about leaving a mark or a family, i don't care about death. All i do is to ensure i have a comfortable enough life, wich i have. So... Eh.

In the end, i just follow the wise words of Eric Idle : "Always look on the bright side of life". I'm yet to have faced a situation where i can't say "eh, could have been worse". Can't control anything else than that, so why worry about it ?

 

[Speedstersonic]

I envy people with the energy to even do physical activity or go to the gym. After work i'm so mentally exhausted i just can't. Is it truly an answer that it can help? idk but it really feels like people cite that a lot, it doesn't sound like it's treating the issue though and just helping you not think about it.

 

[jitteryzeitgeist]

I envy people with the energy to even do physical activity or go to the gym. After work i'm so mentally exhausted i just can't. Is it truly an answer that it can help? idk but it really feels like people cite that a lot, it doesn't sound like it's treating the issue though and just helping you not think about it.

Click to shrink...

Helping people not think about it is treating the issue, because it's an impossible thing to resolve with thinking. Think of it like a computer dividing by zero.

I'm right there with you. I had horrible panic attacks, several of which landed me in the mental health wing of the hospital, completely drugged up on dilaudid. I would think about these things constantly. I started just doing some exercising, found something to do with my time, and I stopped constantly dreaded the heat death of the universe, whether or not I was having a heart attack (despite having zero symptoms, constant clean EKG's, and several successful tests), or whatever else was happening. Because frankly I didn't have any control over it.

What I did have control over was what I do with today.

 

[Mentalist]

Strictly define your locus of control, and strive to do good within it.
Things that you can't control, simply take in stride.

That's how I tend to get thru life. Probably not ideal, but it works

 

[Speedstersonic]

Helping people not think about it is treating the issue, because it's an impossible thing to resolve with thinking. Think of it like a computer dividing by zero.

I'm right there with you. I had horrible panic attacks, several of which landed me in the mental health wing of the hospital, completely drugged up on dilaudid. I would think about these things constantly. I started just doing some exercising, found something to do with my time, and I stopped constantly dreaded the heat death of the universe, whether or not I was having a heart attack (despite having zero symptoms, constant clean EKG's, and several successful tests), or whatever else was happening. Because frankly I didn't have any control over it.

What I did have control over was what I do with today.

Click to shrink...

Fuck that's exactly the same shit i'm going through too. Right down the heart shit too. I got weird pains happening as well and i do need to set up a cardiologist appointment to get some further tests to be sure, but we did go to the ER for it the other week and they at least cleared anything emergency and said i looked good otherwise.

 

[mangopositive]

I just remind myself that everyone who ever lived has died (or will die in relatively short-order). Plato, Genghis Khan, George Washington, David Bowie... all dead. I really can't explain why that's comforting to me. Also, knowing that I wasn't around for 15 billion years before my birth and that I don't seem to be suffering from any ill-effects from that period of non-existence helps.

I've just come off of Lexapro. It didn't help with existential dread, but it did do a number of helpful things for my mood and acceptance of realities outside of my control.

 

[SalvaPot]

Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

 

[EchizenKurage]

I'm kind of the opposite. When I was younger and up through about 25 I was terrified of death to the point of neurosis. However I can definitely relate to feeling like a failure. I'm 37 now and my life has devolved into a hell beyond imaginatiom which has made me mostly indifferent to death. I used to be a beautiful happy person. Now I'm homeless, disabled, no support system, just circling the drain.

As far as advice, changing your perspective on death would be different from individual to individual. It's a terrifying concept. Most people just blindly repress the idea of the their finitude.

There are risks and downsides to SSRIs, but Im currently on Prozac 40mg and Wellbutrin 200mg, and the Prozac significantly takes the edge off my anxiety and despair.

If you haven't, try to find the mental energy to read Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse

About 5 bong rips to make it 100% more intense

Click to shrink...

And then read Ernest Beckers The Denial of Death to gain the madman's knowledge.

 

[EntelechyFuff]

Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.

Click to shrink...

me vs. death:

 

[jitteryzeitgeist]

Fuck that's exactly the same shit i'm going through too. Right down the heart shit too. I got weird pains happening as well and i do need to set up a cardiologist appointment to get some further tests to be sure, but we did go to the ER for it the other week and they at least cleared anything emergency and said i looked good otherwise.

Click to shrink...

One thing I've found as I've embraced a more active lifestyle is those pains just kind of left, making me think they were either psychosomatic or my lifestyle encouraged it, being 40+ years old. It got to the point where I was so sick of constantly feeling like I was having heart troubles I went out for a run in order to either prove it wasn't real or just to get the heart attack over with, because I was sick of living in constant panic. I've been fairly active ever since.

I know it sounds like a crutch, but thinking about what happens after life is either the realm of philosophy or the realm of wasting what life we have, because it's both inevitable and unknowable.

 

[SalvaPot]

me vs. death:

Click to shrink...

Death hasn't faced me yet.

 

[Jaymageck]

After spending my whole life on this, I came to my answer last year.

You don't, not permanently anyway.

Sometimes it feels like you've got it all figured out and are content with your place in the universe. But really it's just biding time until whatever your next dread trigger inevitably is. It's hubris to ever think you've truly conquered it.

So I've given up on trying to figure it out. I've accepted the reason for it is simple - I've evolved to avoid death at all costs and yet also evolved to know it's inevitable. There's no reconciling that contraction. Not without editing what we are.

I live my day to day focused on tasks and entertainment to keep myself distracted. If I find my thoughts drifting to my mortality I remind myself I've been to the bottom of that well already and there's no answer to be found there, so I don't dwell on it.

Inevitably I'll probably go back on SSRIs as I get older as being numb to it is really helpful and I don't want to spend my old age constantly anxious.

Edit:
For what it's worth - Sertraline and Fluoxetine have been far more effective than Wellbutrin for me when I've had anxiety issues like this. I tried multiple due to the sucky sexual side effects of SSRIs, which is why I'm currently not on any. But when / if I'm old I figure that will matter less.

 

[Speedstersonic]

After spending my whole life on this, I came to my answer last year.

You don't, not permanently anyway.

Sometimes it feels like you've got it all figured out and are content with your place in the universe. But really it's just biding time until whatever your next dread trigger inevitably is. It's hubris to ever think you've truly conquered it.

So I've given up on trying to figure it out. I've accepted the reason for it is simple - I've evolved to avoid death at all costs and yet also evolved to know it's inevitable. There's no reconciling that contraction. Not without editing what we are.

I live my day to day focused on tasks and entertainment to keep myself distracted. If I find my thoughts drifting to my mortality I remind myself I've been to the bottom of that well already and there's no answer to be found there, so I don't dwell on it.

Inevitably I'll probably go back on SSRIs as I get older as being numb to it is really helpful and I don't want to spend my old age constantly anxious.

Edit:
For what it's worth - Sertraline and Fluoxetine have been far more effective than Wellbutrin for me when I've had anxiety issues like this. I tried multiple due to the sucky sexual side effects of SSRIs, which is why I'm currently not on any. But when / if I'm old I figure that will matter less.

Click to shrink...

Yeah that's the problem i had when i first went on meds for the depression, then doc moved me to Wellbutrin and i've been on that for 5 years now and it had been helping, but the side effects with SSRIs killed my libido straight dead and it just made things worse in other ways.

 

[Saikyo]

Meh just enjoy the good things in life and try to keep being active, when it comes it comes...

 

[LonChaneySpeaks]

The thoughts are all day though now. I broke down middle of the day yesterday.

I'm contacting some psychologists in my area to see if they are taking new patients. It doesn't look promising though as reviews are stating for like all these places that it takes like a month or more for a first appointment which is crazy. There's just barely anything around here.

I'm really starting to think i may be bipolar, as one of my parents are and i know it can be hereditary, but i'm not familiar enough to know for sure if that is what's going on or not.

Click to shrink...

Hey, I registered just to tell you this. This sounds just like OCD. I just found out I had it recently myself and I think you need to read this link and talk to a therapist about it.

Existential OCD: When Life-and-Death Concerns Cause Unhealthy Obsessions

When philosophical questions cause significant distress, they may be a sign of existential OCD. Learn about existential symptoms of OCD and how they are treated.

www.verywellhealth.com

 

[Caeda]

My life never went according to plan from the moment I was born, and while it's frustrating, someday you learn to roll with the punches. I've ended up not where I wanted to be, but where I needed to be.

You should speak with a therapist and your psychiatrist as well, it may be that there is something underlying and you've yet to deal with that, or the medication may not be working anymore and you may need adjustments.

 

[Mathieran]

I ignore it lol

I tend to imagine my life filling up like one of those bars when you're downloading or installing something and I regularly think about how even under with the best outcomes I'm about 38% done with my life. And then I distract myself with something so I don't have to think about it.

 

[Speedstersonic]

Hey, I registered just to tell you this. This sounds just like OCD. I just found out I had it recently myself and I think you need to read this link and talk to a therapist about it.

Existential OCD: When Life-and-Death Concerns Cause Unhealthy Obsessions

When philosophical questions cause significant distress, they may be a sign of existential OCD. Learn about existential symptoms of OCD and how they are treated.

www.verywellhealth.com

Click to shrink...

I got a psychiatrist appointment scheduled now to find out, soonest i could get was in 3 weeks though. I sure am hoping i can cope until then.

I def have ocd tendencies but never been diagnosed

I have uncontrollably broke down crying three times in the past two days and I don't know why either at the time each time. It just happened and wouldn't stop.

Went on some long walks with partner after work the last two days to try to get some more exercise but that's the best i could manage

 

[PumpkinPieAddict]

I find keeping yourself busy with things that you have to do helps (behavioural activation).

I've been dealing with existential dread for a long time and only getting worse. For me, seeing doctors hasn't helped. Medication in general feels like my brain releases a patch after a couple weeks to return back to depression. Regular therapy maybe. Really, you should be glad you have a partner. Some of us have dogs or cats which keep us alive better than any treatment.

Part of it is just putting your best foot forward and trying to make your life better, even if 99% tells you, no life sucks. All you need is a shot or a chance telling you to keep going and that maybe there's a future.

I say all this as something who is incredibly depressed and has been for 14 years now. Done over a dozen medications and labeled as treatment resistant. Seen multiple doctors. Been in therapy for 4 years. Life sucks, all the time, at least for me. But I keep living so maybe I can see daylight at the end of all this. Who knows.