Oh yeah, we're doin' this.
(There will be spoilers. Obviously.)
Before I begin with the shit-slinging I suppose I should make it clear that I don't think it's a bad game. Just a thoroughly mediocre one. It is not without its good points. It looks alright. The music is cool. The combat system is generally sufficient and at least manages to avoid just boiling down to press-dodge-button-when-attacked-mash-attack-button-at-all-other-times. The giant snake was nifty. The tortoise house was also nifty. The "Can I turn into an animal"dialogue scene was really good. I liked the blue dwarf. I loved the smooth transitions between cutscene and gameplay and I hope it catches on more. (Although the one-take thing was a completely unnecessary gimmick and seems like a lot of extra hassle for zero return.)
So that's the niceties done with... let the complaining commence.
I really couldn't bring myself to give much of a shit about Old Man Kratos. I tried, I really did. I've liked other similar characters and I expected to like him, but nope. Sure, Young Kratos was an arsehole weighed down with a ton of shit dialogue, but at least it was interesting to see what ridiculous nonsense he'd pull next. I'd be more interested to see how he went from that angry pectoral muscle in sandals to a relatively well adjusted grouch than watching said grouch fail to hug his grieving kid.
Speaking of, Atreus didn't feel like a character to me, he just felt like a pint-sized plot device. His only personality traits seem to be "child" and "does whatever the plot requires". I mean, he somehow has a respiratory illness because he doesn't know that his grandpa was a god? How the the fuck does that make any sense? Except, y'know, as a fumbling attempt to add unnecessary drama and urgency to the revelation."*cough* I'm sick father. *cough*" "You're a demi-god boy". "Oh. I'm not sick anymore." He then proceeds to suddenly start acting like a jerk with hilarious speed. Like, within ten minutes of being told his heritage. Then gets over it equally fast. It felt like the characterization equivalent of a speed bump. (Props to the voice actor though. I was impressed when I learned that he really is only 11 years old or so. Even if he did sound unmistakably modern at times.)
On the mechanical front, the RPG elements were a bloated, unnecessary mess. The only ones that seemed to have any tangible effect on gameplay were the special move runes (and even most of them just boiled down to press-button-for-AoE-burst-damage). I tried completely changing my loadout a few times to stack different stats and barely noticed the difference. Not that it mattered because ten minutes later you're going to find something that's all round better anyway. Likewise the crafting just felt like some tedious menu-driven busywork to complete every so often. Hold down square to spend a bunch of shit you didn't know you had to make a number you won't notice get slightly bigger. Whoop-de-do. I suspect the RPG elements were mostly there to provide rewards for the exploration and side content, which was possibly the most disappoint aspect of the game.
I have no idea what they were trying to accomplish with the enemy levels. A few times while side-tracking I came across enemies would would take tiny amounts of damage and one-shot me in return. Then later after I'd gone to the dwarf shop and held down the square button a bunch of times to make my numbers bigger I went back and killed them with relative ease. In terms of game design, what exactly does this accomplish beyond wasting some of my time?
The boss fights were disappointing across the board. I liked the first one with Baldur tearing up Kratos's back yard. That was the point that I sat up and started thinking the game would be good. Turned out to be the high point of the entire damn thing. Could've switched off right there and saved myself a lot of time. After that, despite the game nattering on for ages about when total dicks Thor and Odin are, it was just a simple game of Simon Says with a random dragon and two QTE punch-ups with the same Norse crackhead. Oh, and trolls. So many fucking trolls. I would groan every time I saw one of those big, boring idiots. The Valkyries, collectively, ended up feeling more like proper boss fights than anything the main game had to offer.
The praise for this game has left me scratching my head. This is all a game needs to be for players and reviewers to collectively cream their jeans? It feels like GTA4 all over again.
(There will be spoilers. Obviously.)
Before I begin with the shit-slinging I suppose I should make it clear that I don't think it's a bad game. Just a thoroughly mediocre one. It is not without its good points. It looks alright. The music is cool. The combat system is generally sufficient and at least manages to avoid just boiling down to press-dodge-button-when-attacked-mash-attack-button-at-all-other-times. The giant snake was nifty. The tortoise house was also nifty. The "Can I turn into an animal"dialogue scene was really good. I liked the blue dwarf. I loved the smooth transitions between cutscene and gameplay and I hope it catches on more. (Although the one-take thing was a completely unnecessary gimmick and seems like a lot of extra hassle for zero return.)
So that's the niceties done with... let the complaining commence.
I really couldn't bring myself to give much of a shit about Old Man Kratos. I tried, I really did. I've liked other similar characters and I expected to like him, but nope. Sure, Young Kratos was an arsehole weighed down with a ton of shit dialogue, but at least it was interesting to see what ridiculous nonsense he'd pull next. I'd be more interested to see how he went from that angry pectoral muscle in sandals to a relatively well adjusted grouch than watching said grouch fail to hug his grieving kid.
Speaking of, Atreus didn't feel like a character to me, he just felt like a pint-sized plot device. His only personality traits seem to be "child" and "does whatever the plot requires". I mean, he somehow has a respiratory illness because he doesn't know that his grandpa was a god? How the the fuck does that make any sense? Except, y'know, as a fumbling attempt to add unnecessary drama and urgency to the revelation."*cough* I'm sick father. *cough*" "You're a demi-god boy". "Oh. I'm not sick anymore." He then proceeds to suddenly start acting like a jerk with hilarious speed. Like, within ten minutes of being told his heritage. Then gets over it equally fast. It felt like the characterization equivalent of a speed bump. (Props to the voice actor though. I was impressed when I learned that he really is only 11 years old or so. Even if he did sound unmistakably modern at times.)
On the mechanical front, the RPG elements were a bloated, unnecessary mess. The only ones that seemed to have any tangible effect on gameplay were the special move runes (and even most of them just boiled down to press-button-for-AoE-burst-damage). I tried completely changing my loadout a few times to stack different stats and barely noticed the difference. Not that it mattered because ten minutes later you're going to find something that's all round better anyway. Likewise the crafting just felt like some tedious menu-driven busywork to complete every so often. Hold down square to spend a bunch of shit you didn't know you had to make a number you won't notice get slightly bigger. Whoop-de-do. I suspect the RPG elements were mostly there to provide rewards for the exploration and side content, which was possibly the most disappoint aspect of the game.
I have no idea what they were trying to accomplish with the enemy levels. A few times while side-tracking I came across enemies would would take tiny amounts of damage and one-shot me in return. Then later after I'd gone to the dwarf shop and held down the square button a bunch of times to make my numbers bigger I went back and killed them with relative ease. In terms of game design, what exactly does this accomplish beyond wasting some of my time?
The boss fights were disappointing across the board. I liked the first one with Baldur tearing up Kratos's back yard. That was the point that I sat up and started thinking the game would be good. Turned out to be the high point of the entire damn thing. Could've switched off right there and saved myself a lot of time. After that, despite the game nattering on for ages about when total dicks Thor and Odin are, it was just a simple game of Simon Says with a random dragon and two QTE punch-ups with the same Norse crackhead. Oh, and trolls. So many fucking trolls. I would groan every time I saw one of those big, boring idiots. The Valkyries, collectively, ended up feeling more like proper boss fights than anything the main game had to offer.
The praise for this game has left me scratching my head. This is all a game needs to be for players and reviewers to collectively cream their jeans? It feels like GTA4 all over again.
