I need help - my son made purchases on discord through google play and PayPal
- Thread starter darz1
- Start date
Christ there's a lot to this. Do you how long he's been spending money on that card? While a kid may know what money is and how it works at that time I'd be surprised if they have a sense of perspective on amounts, I know I didn't then, so if they have a weekly allowance or whatever you can use this as an opportunity to make them realise just how much money that was and what it means they can't have as a result.
Games like Brawlstars purposely make it feel like you're not spending money and obscure how much stuff actually costs by having multiple in-game currencies so again this is an opportunity to show them just how bad these type of games are. These type of games are usually quite shallow without spending any money so honestly as a parent you're safer having them play a proper multiplayer game which you buy for them once and then even with locked down purchases it should keep their attention.
I'd also lay some blame at the door of Twitch with this, it's become a thing where people gift subscriptions in lieu of outright money but also a lot of streamer's emphasis on betting against the people in chat if they're going to win a round or whatever. I can see how a kid would want to emulate their favourite streamer and try and be the popular one.
I'd say I'm glad this wasn't a thing when I was a kid but I still managed to run up a £600 phone bill once by downloading a dodgy video app in the days of WAP Internet that connected to a premium phone line to stream it.
Your kid needs to know this wasn't right, they fucked up and now they need to pay the price, be it no smart phone for 6 months or whatever but there's also good opportunities here for life lessons.
Hey OP, if you have the time, maybe you can try to explain how this happened or what went wrong in your son using this old phone, so others might not repeat this mistake.
Even for me it is hard to understand how this happens. I would always wipe my old phone from everything, use 2FA with my PayPal and using parenting controls in Google Pay. But that seem obvious to me at least, so are there other ways around?
Even for me it is hard to understand how this happens. I would always wipe my old phone from everything, use 2FA with my PayPal and using parenting controls in Google Pay. But that seem obvious to me at least, so are there other ways around?
Damn, OP ruined his son's streaming career before it even started
this does suck though, I'm a teacher and I've seen teens blow money on all kinds of dumb crap
this does suck though, I'm a teacher and I've seen teens blow money on all kinds of dumb crap
It sounds like the old phone that was given to their son wasn't wiped and still had their partners google account on it with unprotected payment info.
Wow, 2k in purchases?! Good luck getting it sorted. My 4y/o bought something on his Kindle Fire for £50 the other day. Luckily I noticed the email immediately and got in touch with Amazon, who cancelled the order and are refunding my money. I didn't even know I had payment details attached to the account, as I try to be careful about these things, but it's easy to make mistakes and these fucking games are designed to let people spend hundreds before they've realised it.
I recall in the mid 90s, a family friend's teen discovered phone sex lines. When we would all get together because our parents had a party, the boys would grab the wireless and call these numbers. It was pure curiosity and trolling, Beavis and Butthead level idiocy. Still, these lines charge you by the minute.
When he was caught, his parents hit up every parent. They let mine know my older brother was involved in these calls. That was it. "You should know what they're up to."
Later in life, I learned every family chipped in because their son was an accomplice.
They weren't banned from seeing each other or anything. Every one of those boys suddenly had a lawn mowing or dog walking service, though.
Yeah OPcontact discord
if that doesn't work contact pypal
Understanding disputes, claims, and chargebacks: a guide for SMBs
Learn the differences between disputes, claims, and chargebacks to protect your small business. Understand how to handle customer disputes effectively.www.paypal.com
failing that go to your bank
Explain the situation to Discord, beg and insist, if that fails explain the situation to PayPal, beg and insist, and if that fails go to your bank I guess
This might be the issue.
For "internet age kids" money is just a digital thing. Much easier to just hit "Buy" over and over again than sneak into your parents bedroom and snatch money from the wallet.
If we talk 1000s it would have been impossible either way back in my days. None of my parents carried that type of cash.
I have to admit that I sometimes stole some money here and there. But it was 10€ here, 20€ there.
Oh man, sorry to hear that! Definitely look into changing up your PayPal password and enable 2FA; if account sharing happened, that account is compromised. If there's any other account that was shared, I'd do the same for those as well. You might have to have a talk with the parents of the other people involved as well.
Wow I am sorry to read all that. The money honestly looks to be gone. I hope you can figure it out with your son though, at 13 he must have known what he was doing
I'm sorry to hear that OP and hope you manage to get your money back
In retrospect it's easy to say wipe phones and delete all prepayment information but most parents know their kids and don't expect them to steal 2k from them so probably don't expect them to do so via digital currency either
It's bonkers to me that you can even pay 2k on these shitty games. I just looked Brawl Stars up and it looks like absolute shite
The average gamer in 20-30 years time is just going to expect games to beg them for money by default at this rate
In retrospect it's easy to say wipe phones and delete all prepayment information but most parents know their kids and don't expect them to steal 2k from them so probably don't expect them to do so via digital currency either
It's bonkers to me that you can even pay 2k on these shitty games. I just looked Brawl Stars up and it looks like absolute shite
The average gamer in 20-30 years time is just going to expect games to beg them for money by default at this rate
As someone who was just recently born at 28, I appreciate the first hand experience
Op, i apologize if this is over the line but I feel like you should try and keep your kid instead of having his mom take him, if possible. Might be a valuable parenting moment.
Man this same thing happened to me. I remember that ass whoopin clearly. And I remember how every family member came home one at a time, found out about it one at a time, then came to whoop me, one at a time. It was a long day
This is amazing. But I'm confused, was it a dog or a porn line
People who think kids should be coddled 100% of the time are the worst parents imaginable.
You do realize that $2000 is make rent or live on the streets for millions upon millions of people right?
Destroy a kid's life by showing him his actions have consequences? Making a kid get a job and showing them the value of money is one of the best life lessons you can ever give.
This kid is 13 and has no respect for his parents, it's time for him to grow up.
Where exactly did I say there should be no consequences? People in this thread have argued for a 13yo child to not have social contact for a year+. To pay back 2000 dollars with 18 percent interest. Do the math on that my man.
Tough luck OP. I have no specific advice to offer on how to get your money back, but I sympathize.
"Actions have consequences" exactly, these $2000 were easily available to him through a phone he was given. This is a consequence.
He needs to learn the value of money, but saying he should pay with monthly interest or be shamed online is crazy. Hopefully he really goes to a child therapist, because they study for that unlike forum users.
Okay I didnt see the interest comments that's absurd, but he should absolutely pay the money back. No social contact for a year+ is also crazy, but the son doesnt deserve to have a phone for at least a year imo.
I didnt see the shamed online or monthly interest comments.
I mean I feel like most parents would suspect their teenage son has more respect for them then to steal $2000. This must be a hard lesson for OP as well.
OP I would get him to work and refund the 2000 he took. He needs to understand that money doesn't grow on trees. He is 13 so I doubt he can find many jobs but he should try. Even something that barely gives him back should be done. You need to teach him what he did was bad and he needs to remember it. He will hate it but that's good because he will remember it next time.
Also take away his phone and games. Get him a "dumb" phone that he can use to make phone calls and sms only. Atleast until he gets back the money or for a period of time of your choosing.
Also take away his phone and games. Get him a "dumb" phone that he can use to make phone calls and sms only. Atleast until he gets back the money or for a period of time of your choosing.
The bank messed up here. They should have seen themselves no history of such transactions and the number of transactions should have alerted them to contact the account holder asking to confirm such transactions were legit.
I think at 13yo and with the way these apps work, it's not entirely fair to just sum it up like this. It's predatory monetization. It's not like you get the entire bill up-front, it's death by a thousand paper cuts. The payment process is designed to be as smoothly as possible without even a multi-step checkout these days.
He still absolutely deserves blame and consequences, for sure, but this is a complex situation between Discord and Mobage essentially preying on children like him, between the parents just handing him a phone with a linked paypal account, no spending limit and no authentication needed and yes, his failure to just not do it.
To put this into perspective: Sure, y'all never took money from your parents, but they didn't hand you a blank check either.
These games and apps make it's incredibly easy to make it seem like you're not spending much money at all. I doubt the kid knew he spent even close to that much. That's how those games are designed, and you're seeing their predatory money making tactics work right here.
I'm not saying the kid doesn't deserve to feel the consequences of his actions, but I think reducing it down to "he doesn't have respect for his parents" is reductive and straight up wrong.
Yeah I was going to say this, the son is at fault, but at the same time most of the kids blowing thousands on these shit and predatory games wouldn't go through their parents rooms and swipe stacks of cash if they found it
The app trivialises spending and makes it easy and abstract, and kids are dumb and don't always understand the value of money/their parents financial situation
Studies have shown even just regular old online shopping is easier than shopping in real life as it's less real, more abstract. A few clicks feels less like buying something than digging out your card and swiping it and walking away with physical products
Parents need to be vigilant, kids need to be watched, but the developers/publishes of these games do all they can to ensure this kind of thing happens. Hooking a whale is the devs best case scenario in most cases
I think you 2 are taking too much of the blame away from this kid. Yes it's easier than ever to spend a ton without realizing it due to predatory practices of these mobile apps. This kid was buying microtransactions and gifting people Discord Nitro to host tournaments where the winner would get gems.
This was a really elaborate set of decisions this kid made and continued to make. This wasnt a kid getting addicted to summoning this was a kid spending money to host tournaments where the winner would receive prizes.
You underestimate how much this kid knew what he was doing. This wasnt a one time thing where he spent $2000 in a day.
As for the respect, if someone gives you a gift(the phone) and you steal $2000 from them or steal from them at all then I'd say there is a big lack of respect there.
Overall this was an avoidable situation and its shitty it happened. Hopefully OP can get some of the money back, but there is a lesson learned for all parties at least.
Yeah, I don't agree with a word you said. Life ain't black and white.
Humans ain't perfect. Kids especially. Yeah the kid fucked up but damn some ya'll need to calm down.
Hope that Biden stimmy comes through quick. Sorry OP.
I remember spending lots on Nintendo Game Counselors and later on, long distance calls to an online girlfriend. Those were the days.
I remember spending lots on Nintendo Game Counselors and later on, long distance calls to an online girlfriend. Those were the days.
Damn 2000 dollars is a scary amount of money. When i was around 12 to 14 years i used to buy psn cards and games on amazon "secretly" for around 10/20 bucks occasionally with the bank account from my mother. My mom never lectured me about this behavior, but i felt that i let her down and abused her trust. I still do this date hate myself for this stupid behavior. In the end i paid everything back once i got my first job. Ironically it was at Sony.
But it was not really about the money for my mom since she didnt want the money back when i tried to pay her pack rather that I learned the value of money and trust. I learned my lesson and i hope your son does as well OP.
But it was not really about the money for my mom since she didnt want the money back when i tried to pay her pack rather that I learned the value of money and trust. I learned my lesson and i hope your son does as well OP.
I don't take any blame away. The 13yo is responsible for their decision to do it, the parents are responsible for the 13yo to be in a situation where he is able to do it and the apps and payment processors providing the product are responsible for those micro transactions being a thing. Read my post. It wasn't about "kid is not at fault" it was about "it's very easy to lose track of the total sum with these piece-meal transactions".
Do you really think OPs kid would have done it if it meant spending a large, single sum? Buying his friend a car? I doubt it.
You are probably in a pretty bad spot since the transactions are not applied to a credit card and PayPal likely won't do a refund since no fraud was actually committed since you gave your child access to your payment method, if anything this should be a reminder to not leave payment methods readily accessible.
Your best bet is probably to contact the App developer on the receiving end of the transactions and hope they might have some pity on your situation, but you will never get a full refund since the developer doesn't see the full amount of money anyway and they will have some internal expenses related to a refund.
Check with all involved parties of the transaction, your bank, PayPal, Google Play and the app developer to see if something can be done on their end, however remember that if you can do some sort of chargeback it will have a response by whoever you are charging back from.
What the kid did is stupid and at age 13 he should have known better, but some people here are being a bit too extreme since these apps and the digital storefronts that facilitate them makes it super easy to spend money without really thinking about the costs adding up. Most of us didn't grow up with these things so it's easy to point fingers about abusing parents credit cards, but for less tech literate parents it can be easy to forget to restrict payment information on an account, it becomes real easy for a kid to just press "Ok" to a $60 "Best Value" in app purchase.
Your best bet is probably to contact the App developer on the receiving end of the transactions and hope they might have some pity on your situation, but you will never get a full refund since the developer doesn't see the full amount of money anyway and they will have some internal expenses related to a refund.
Check with all involved parties of the transaction, your bank, PayPal, Google Play and the app developer to see if something can be done on their end, however remember that if you can do some sort of chargeback it will have a response by whoever you are charging back from.
What the kid did is stupid and at age 13 he should have known better, but some people here are being a bit too extreme since these apps and the digital storefronts that facilitate them makes it super easy to spend money without really thinking about the costs adding up. Most of us didn't grow up with these things so it's easy to point fingers about abusing parents credit cards, but for less tech literate parents it can be easy to forget to restrict payment information on an account, it becomes real easy for a kid to just press "Ok" to a $60 "Best Value" in app purchase.
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How long do you think it would take a 13 year old to earn 2k? Being brutally honest this is on the parent, it's on us to do the research and make sure whatever tech etc. we make available to our children especially at that age is appropriate and secure.
Most 13 year olds have no real concept of how much money 2k is or how long that'd take to earn.
This is going to be a great teaching moment for both parent and child if handled correctly, I think the worst thing the OP could do though is hand this off for the mum to deal with.
umm ... maybe I'm wrong, but when I was 13, $2000 was a monumental amount of money for me. 13 year olds are not that young.
For real.
My daughter is 4 and is absolutely never allowed to use my phone outside of my direct supervision - my wife is a bit more lax, but both of our phones require fingerprint or face ID to enable almost anything.
My wife got a new phone for Xmas, meaning we could repurpose her old one for our daughter. First thing I did? Factory reset and attach the Google Account I registered for my daughter before she was even born. Only things she can screw up are her own.
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Thats brutal holy shit - man i cant even imagine stealing so much money from anyone let alone at that age and from the parents. A really messed up situation. Just shows that these games, really enforce the worst human instincts when it comes to spending and being reckless....especially for Kids.
It sucks to be in that situation but unless there are clear guidlines and security measures in place you cant have your kids or anyone for that matter just have access to any digital account linked to your payment, its reckless.
Messed up situation but it seems like both parties really werent paying that much attention and being irresponsible.
Hope you can at least get some of they money back.
It sucks to be in that situation but unless there are clear guidlines and security measures in place you cant have your kids or anyone for that matter just have access to any digital account linked to your payment, its reckless.
Messed up situation but it seems like both parties really werent paying that much attention and being irresponsible.
Hope you can at least get some of they money back.
The bank should have recognised this as well. I know with my account if repeat transactions are made they put a stop on the card and they text me asking me to confirm I made them.