I think I might leave this place or at the very least take a break from being here so much.

[Lightning Count]

I notice lately I find myself getting really pissed off around here, some of you take what should be humour too far in my opinion and you know what, it really gets me to sometimes. I honestly blame my upbringing, my family weaponised sarcasm to a large extent and I fucking hate it, my whole life sarcastic put downs from my family. That shit for me it cuts deep.

Often I find this place brings back those bad memories and that's on me to deal with that shit, not ERA. I react too strongly as I feel in my mind like I have to defend myself.

There are times around here I feel decidedly unwelcome, even if meant as a joke I sometimes find myself having to defend the veracity of what I post. Every time someone casually calls another person a liar, or makes some throwaway disingenuous comment it brings me back to a time I really don't want to relive.

There have been many times I have wrote out a request to close my account and leave here for good only to think it over and decide to stay. But right now I'm pretty close to jacking it in for good or at the very least taking a somewhat lengthy hiatus. While I enjoy posting here, sometimes it's really not good for me, I take shit way too personally and I get drawn into arguments way too much for my own good.

For now I'll be around, but might be quieter than usual. I don't know, I think I might be addicted to being here given how much I free time I spend browsing here and how often I post.

Let me reiterate, this is my problem to deal with, not ERA's.

 

[mbpm]

This is understandable. Sometimes social media gets to be too much.

 

[Deleted member 8257]

Do whatever you need to do in order to take care of your mental well-being.

 

[RedMercury]

Def sounds like it is time for at least a nice break

 

[Deleted member 25606]

If that's what you need to do, go for it. Considering some of the threads you start you seem to spend a lot of time "here" and take things super personally which cannot be good for your mental health, you do you.

 

[KillLaCam]

Breaks are definitely good from any type of social media like thing . No matter what the reason

 

[PlanetSmasher]

Based on the number of threads you've started the past couple of days I would say a break definitely seems justified. Take a breath. You'll go nuts if you over-engage.

 

[Thorn]

How I'm starting to feel too.

But how can I just ignore so much suffering in the world?

Isn't it shitty and privilege to just do "oh I better not read about this it's depressing." When people are LIVING IN IT?

 

[TaySan]

Do whatever you need to do to feel better. Sometimes a break is necessary especially with everything that is going on in the world today.

 

[Stop It]

You must always act in your best interests first, because it allows you to do best for others later.

We ain't special, if this place is too much, then it's too much and there's no shame in admitting as much.

Look after yourself, others will still be there once you're ready.

 

[Bengraven]

I understand everything houre saying.

Sometimes it's hard to tell tone and you can conflate your own struggles or your own assumptions to tones based on your personal experiences or environment.

And sometimes people are unnecessarily harsh because they just find the anonymity of the internet a place they can go after people. For example, this site is very good about making sure people feel welcome and safe in regards to the terms of service but occasionally you will get people who will attack you even when you were following those guides.

As others have said, take care of yourself first. Or just take a little bit of a break and come back as I have at times.

 

[GG-Duo]

I understand what you mean. Please take care of yourself.

We have a tendency to be more exaggerated and extreme in how we express our opinions online. Please know that this isn't how most folks are like, and it isn't how most folks want to live.

(On the other hand, for folks who are suffering today in the US, please understand that this isn't directed towards you. We can grief and be emotive.)

 

[Venatio]

This place is a massive time sink. Run away as fast as you can.

 

[Autumn]

Era is best when you view it as a news aggregator.

Once you people on here start affecting you it's time to move on.

 

[HStallion]

How I'm starting to feel too.

But how can I just ignore so much suffering in the world?

Isn't it shitty and privilege to just do "oh I better not read about this it's depressing." When people are LIVING IN IT?

Click to shrink...

If someone actually suffers from things like depression and this place triggers some dark feelings and thoughts I think it's totally in their right to back away. And who is to say that this person isn't living through that situation themselves.

 

[defaltoption]

Take a break friend totally understandable, and if you're ever ready to return it'll be here for ya.

Been there myself before, it's social media gets to us all in one way or another.

 

[Vex]

Just want to say that whatever you are going through I hope you come out on top. Wish you the best and much love!

We'll be here when you're ready to talk more! 🤗

 

[the magical kitsune]

I regularly block this site in attempts to limit my engagement, hopefully soon I can get down to minimal levels. Feels like a waste to spend so much time in a place where most people don't know you, don't care about you and (outside of community threads) generally post in a hostile and unwelcome manner.

 

[Ravelle]

I stick to the games sections and TV Show talk for the most part but it's always good to take a break from social media, hope you can clear your head and get piece of mind OP!

 

[Stencil]

Sounds like you're pretty self aware and have done some solid reflection on why you should take a break. I say go for it, but understand it may be hard if it's a part of your daily life. I know I spend way too long on this site.

 

[slider]

All the best, OP. Look after yourself and hopefully see you around here again some time.

 

[CallMeShaft]

Sarcasm is oftentimes hard to convey over text. With ERA being as big of a community as it is, it's even harder. There are thousands of posters here and it's hard to keep track of which ones are being smartasses and not just asses.

But feel free to take a break if you think it would help. We'll still be around if/when you feel up to re-engaging with this community.

 

[Saturday]

It's very admirable that you have the insight to look inwards and try to decouple what's worth examining personally with the reality of engaging with the modern internet. I hope you find the right answers.

I regularly block this site in attempts to limit my engagement, hopefully soon I can get down to minimal levels. Feels like a waste to spend so much time in a place where most people don't know you, don't care about you and (outside of community threads) generally post in a hostile and unwelcome manner.

Click to shrink...

I apologize if this is over-reaching but reading this post seems to have a different vibe than the OPs, and imo if i'm here reaching out to OP only fair to reach out to you. just a internet rando acknowledging another, and I hope you're able to get what you want as well.

 

[oni-link]

Hey Lightning Count

I really like your threads and posts, but if you need to take a break for a bit then by all means do so

You will be missed though

 

[EntelechyFuff]

Take care of yourself OP. It's good to know when to take a break.

And for the record I think you have gone altogether too easy on ERA as a whole ("my problem to deal with, not ERA's"), but that's a different thread.

 

[Geode]

Definitely take a break, some people get off on gaslighting others.

 

[JLP101]

Your mental health comes first :)

 

[Lightning Count]

Take care of yourself OP. It's good to know when to take a break.

And for the record I think you have gone altogether too easy on ERA as a whole ("my problem to deal with, not ERA's"), but that's a different thread.

Click to shrink...

Maybe, but I'm not looking to pick a fight.

 

[Big Powder]

Any time someone is getting too upset at a website and starting to feel that weight of "should I stop going to this place?", I wholeheartedly and enthusiastically support taking a break.

I had somewhat of a similar thing happen to me with Twitter, where I started to find myself addicted to using it but generally upset by it almost constantly, and it became a major source of anxiety for me. It wasn't until I finally had a breaking point and tore myself away from it for a few years that I was able to realize that the things that were making me so upset were things that I shouldn't take as seriously, with some of them being linked to traumas of my own, and about a year or so ago I was able to start looking at the site completely casually and without getting so worked up about things, in major part because I had finally distanced myself from it enough that things don't hold nearly as much emotional weight. I don't really feel the same draw to the website in general, but I also think that my relationship with it is so much healthier.

Your mental health is always worth more than whatever you get out of the momentary satisfaction of continuing to be drawn to an online space that is upsetting. Take some time off, and take as much as you need, even if it means years or never really coming back. I'd also recommend talking about this in therapy, if you have the opportunity, because there's likely something worth unpacking there, or something you could learn about yourself by analyzing what it is that gets under your skin. Whatever course you take, I wish you the best!

 

[Jeffolation]

Feels like a waste to spend so much time in a place where most people don't know you, don't care about you and (outside of community threads) generally post in a hostile and unwelcome manner.

Click to shrink...

Damn, that's pretty much it.

Take that break OP, see how things are on the other side of this.

 

[MrKlaw]

you can request a temp ban if you really think you need it, rather than a full delete. But if you can step away too, that can work.

I found what you said interesting. We're a sarcastic family and I'll look at whether I use it too much with my kids (although they're pretty grown up now and seem ok so far). I can imagine it being 'normal' for me withougt feeling like its being harmful but situations can vary I guess - in person you can get across context better perhaps and it can be harder online to do that, unless you can trust the people and assume no ill intent.

I hope you find peace and calm and what you need - if that means being here less then thats what you need to do to look after yourself.

 

[Orayn]

Nothing matters, do whatever makes you feel good. Or bad, if you want to feel bad.

I'm going to keep posting through it and get angrier and angrier until I can no longer function.

 

[AvianAviator]

How I'm starting to feel too.

But how can I just ignore so much suffering in the world?

Isn't it shitty and privilege to just do "oh I better not read about this it's depressing." When people are LIVING IN IT?

Click to shrink...

I don't think this is even about that, I think this is about letting relatively small things get to you. Things that aren't a big deal in the grand scheme of things but they get you wrapped up inside your own head anyway.

When I find myself fretting over a rude comment about a silly thing, or even something that was meant to be a joke but I read the tone wrong, I like to take a break. I think that's healthy to do.

 

[Sai]

okay :)

 

[JJD]

Era is the only forum and social media site that I frequent and I like here, but if I'm being honest Era has never been fun as the golden days of GAF. I don't know, it's just a different vibe.

 

[kiaaa]

I don't know your situation, but as someone with depression, it's really important to not look for any kind of validation in social media, good or bad.

 

[SalvaPot]

I get ya OP, inothing wrong with walking away.

I also recently bought a nice t-shirt that reflects how this community makes me feel sometimes.

 

[Slacker247]

Era is best when you view it as a news aggregator.

Once you people on here start affecting you it's time to move on.

Click to shrink...

Very good advice.

 

[the magical kitsune]

It's very admirable that you have the insight to look inwards and try to decouple what's worth examining personally with the reality of engaging with the modern internet. I hope you find the right answers.



I apologize if this is over-reaching but reading this post seems to have a different vibe than the OPs, and imo if i'm here reaching out to OP only fair to reach out to you. just a internet rando acknowledging another, and I hope you're able to get what you want as well.

Click to shrink...

Cheers, appreciated. For the record I want to clarify that, much like the OP, this is more of a personal issue than an era issue, so I think I get where he is coming from. This forum is an oasis sometimes to the desert of toxic online discussion. But depending on your state of mind it can also get exhausting and negatively impact you, and by the time you're continually asking yourself "why am I spending so much time here? Am I getting anything out of this?" it's probably best to take a step back, go away for a bit and decide when / if you can return.

 

[Volimar]

It's important to take breaks from social media now and then, Era included. Our psyche isn't meant to hold the weight of the world, especially all the bad stuff that gets aggregated here.

 

[Strings]

How I'm starting to feel too.

But how can I just ignore so much suffering in the world?

Isn't it shitty and privilege to just do "oh I better not read about this it's depressing." When people are LIVING IN IT?

Click to shrink...

Not really. You're just one person after all, and it's a marathon, not a sprint. Burning yourself out will just make it worse long-term.

 

[Saifu]

i wish that i could do the same.
I think i got an unhealthy habit of wasting my time here.

 

[Carnby]

Let me reiterate, this is my problem to deal with, not ERA's.

Click to shrink...

You are not the problem. People here should learn some manners and stop getting hot and heavy with themselves as they make posts to "get" others.

 

[Strings]

You are not the problem. People here should learn some manners and stop getting hot and heavy with themselves as they make posts to "get" others.

Click to shrink...

It's generally easy enough to identify and ignore those people though (and I say this as someone who tries to avoid doing that as much as possible). Had a user imply so much random shit out of a post the other day and then create a thread about the interaction without naming me, and it was more than obvious what to do (actually, looking at what they're up to, they were already banned).

If it felt like everyone was coming at me like that though, then obviously there would be some kind of problem with what or how I was posting.

 

[Carnby]

It's generally easy enough to identify and ignore those people though (and I say this as someone who tries to avoid doing that as much as possible). Had a user imply so much random shit out of a post the other day and then create a thread about the interaction without naming me, and it was more than obvious what to do (actually, looking at what they're up to, they were already banned).

If it felt like everyone was coming at me like that though, then obviously there would be some kind of problem with what or how I was posting.

Click to shrink...

Exactly. Like you and OP, I'll get torn down and they make it personal. All because of a genuine question and comment. I got accused of being a troll and a moron. And it went on and on. Even pictures were used as evidence for how stupid I am. (Someone was getting really hot and heavy with themselves that night.) These words hurt. But these cruel fucks don't care. As long as they get to call someone A pIeCE Of sHIt, they feel vindicated and filled.

 

[Gyro Zeppeli]

I think most of us on this forum are complicit in such behavior, yes even mods. It's the culture left over from GAF imo. Hypersensitivity for every little thing.

 

[Good4Squat]

All I'll say is that it helped me to step away from this place, and social media in general. It can easily become a downward spiral in your life if you consume it too much, which is easy to do given its addictive nature.

Life is hard enough without reading a bunch of negativity and getting into pointless fights with people. At least it is for me.

 

[sph3re]

But right now I'm pretty close to jacking it

Click to shrink...

heh

it in for good

Click to shrink...

oh


Yeah man I don't blame you, I had to do that with Twitter. Just so much negativity, I couldn't deal. I find that THIS shit, though?

Every time someone casually calls another person a liar

Click to shrink...

This shit happens on Era way too much. I'm probably guilty of it too, but man, some of y'all need to fucking cool it with the "you know what you're doing" bullshit.

No. No, people don't always know what they're doing. Stop it.

 

[Altazor]

I don't blame you Lightning Count, if it's something good for your mental health and wellbeing then absolutely go for it. Personally I just had to take a break from Twitter like a month ago because even if my TL was pretty damn decent all things considered, the sheer volume of nasty news and overall unpleasant vibe generated by the armies of bots disseminating fake news and the 'moral crusade' from the Amber Heard stans (curiously enough: most of my friends/acquaintances) it all was too damn heavy and I just didn't have the stomach for all the nastiness. It's not getting any better.

I do miss certain people that I came to respect/admire/care about a lot, however. Not being in almost daily contact with those people kinda hurts a bit.

Still, as I said earlier... if it's for your mental health, you have to do it. That stuff comes first. Me? I don't really regret taking that break from Twitter. I feel you're not gonna regret taking a break from here either.

 

[Gaucho Power]

Take care.

Personally, I have just started to ignore every single US politics thread. I even add some other non-political US-centric threads to my ignore list. So far I have liked it, less drama all around.