Is it Offensive for Hetero Couples to Call Each Other "Partner"?

[striderno9]

I used to only hear the word partner used when I was with an LBGTQ friend but over the years I've heard it more and more from hetero couples. I think it's well-intentioned but I also know this could be one of those things that isn't well received in the LGBTQ community.

The omission of a poll is intentional, I want to hear opinions.

An example of the discussions around this subject.

 

[Rodelero]

(No, it's not offensive).

 

[plau]

Why is it a problem?

 

[CoolestSpot]

A couple families walked out when my dad was preaching cause he called my mom his partner.

He then proceeded to use their bigotted selves as examples.

 

[YamchasRevenge]

no

 

[Olaf]

No.

 

[Calderc]

No.

 

[ApatheticDolphin]

I think it's annoying because it implies they're queer, but they're not - they just want to be special lol

 

[TheMadTitan]

From my hetereo-understanding, hetereo couples who say it do so in order to be inclusive to people with non-binary or LGBTQ+ partners or those who are within those distinctions.

So it's probably the furthest thing away from being offensive, imo.

 

[chezzymann]

I feel like thats been a term used for any couple in any sort of relationship for decades and decades and decades, not just somewhat recently

 

[Deleted member 6562]

No, not offensive

 

[Sephzilla]

No.

 

[Seesaw15]

No.

 

[Deleted member 15227]

FFS no. Couples have been calling each other partner since time immemorial.

 

[Eugene's Axe]

Is super offensive. Ugh!

 

[Deleted member 48897]

If you don't take the opportunity to say "well, howdy, pardner" to your pardner at least once a day then why are you even pardnered in the first place, is what I say

 

[astro]

This has never, ever been a problem from anyone I know in the LGBTQ community.

We do not own that word in any way

 

[N.Domixis]

I've never been in a my relation so I have no reference, why would it be offensive?

 

[BDS]

I don't find it offensive but I do find it kind of weird. I've heard it's apparently more common in British English.

 

[excelsiorlef]

Not offensive but I'd be lying if it doesn't confuse me as my brain is wired to think partner = same sex / queer coupling.

 

[blame space]

i just tell everyone we're "going steady."

 

[Cantaim]

I think this is a you thing OP

 

[staedtler]

yes, time to get outraged and start a twitter campaign #straightpeopleshouldntusethewordpartner

 

[blame space]

girlfriend / boyfriend makes you feel like a middle schooler

 

[Allforce]

I been saying partner longer then most people here have been alive. Nobody owns that particular noun.

 

[Prophet Five]

no?

 

[Fat4all]

(No, it's not offensive).

Click to shrink...

 

[Stooge]

How you gonna make that still fresh Borat joke if you don't call her your wife.

 

[The Albatross]

No, not at all. A male friend of mine and his partner, a woman, have lived together for ~20 years, they have a 12 year old daughter, but they don't believe in getting married, so he calls her his partner... And they have a civil union and whatever rights are afforded to married couple under the state.

Although I'll be honest, when I first met him and he mentioned his partner to me, I thought to myself "Oh, I didn't know David was gay..." And then I met his partner and thought to myself "oh... David's gay lover is a woman..." And then slowly my simple brain put it all together.

 

[Snack12367]

No. In the uk this term is used a lot

 

[Deleted member 29660]

I've been hearing people call their other partner since I was born. It's natural.

 

[Futureman]

It sounds more adult than boyfriend/girlfriend. I'd guess that's why most hetero people would use it.

 

[TaySan]

Joke thread OP?

 

[Bobcat Fancy]

No, but it's kind of funny. Just use a different, less ambiguous word, IMO.

I doubt almost anyone actually thinks this is offensive, but there are billions of people on this planet. A slightly larger number of people will make fun of straight people doing this for favs or RTs, because it's perceived as corny, unnecessary, and perhaps a bit obfuscatory. V. hard to stop people from seeking engagement on twitter. If you want to do it (anything, "using 'partner'" "mining those favs") I say go for it.

 

[Zhengi]

No.

 

[Bio]

I'm too old to call my significant other my girlfriend so

 

[hikarutilmitt]

It's slightly jarring when I hear it because of the usual social norms. That and I usually only hear hetero couples say it when they're rather liberal.

It's not offensive, though. I don't give a damn what you call your other half, that's up to you guys.

 

[Koukalaka]

Click to shrink...

Fuckin' Kazoo Kid haunts my dreams.

 

[TheMadTitan]

Not offensive but I'd be lying if it doesn't confuse me as my brain is wired to think partner = same sex coupling.

Click to shrink...

Think about it this way: I'm a straight male. What if I get in a relationship with a non-binary person who was coined a woman at birth. They no longer identify as a woman; they don't use female gendered pronouns. What am I to refer to them as? Girlfriend, wife? Neither of those make sense because the person does not identify as a woman.

And clearly, if I'm going to use female gendered pronouns or descriptors for them, I'm not fit for that relationship anyway, so I wouldn't do it. The only viable terms would be spouse, significant other, or partner.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

No.

I think it's annoying because it implies they're queer, but they're not - they just want to be special lol

Click to shrink...

Poly/non-monogamous people use it too whether they are queer or not.

 

[SABO.]

I call my girlfriend my partner because we've been together for 6 years and we're basically a married couple without the legalities.

 

[Deleted member 426]

No. I'm in a Hetero relationship. We're against marriage but we've also been together too long for just 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Partner is our preferred term.

 

[Deleted member 15227]

From my hetereo-understanding, hetereo couples who say it do so in order to be inclusive to people with non-binary or LGBTQ+ partners or those who are within those distinctions.

So it's probably the furthest thing away from being offensive, imo.

Click to shrink...

People just say it because they can. No agenda. The LBGQ+ community doesn't and never did have ownership on this word. No one does.

 

[striderno9]

Just to add some context, this isn't a new discussion, people have been debating this for a while.

Google Results for Hetero Couples using the word Partner

 

[nsilvias]

this song came out over a decade ago, its not a an lgbt thing.

 

[Muitnorts]

I've never known it to be specific to gay couples.
Even if it were it's a bit of an odd phrase to be protective over and I can't see why it would be offensive at all.

Edit: I'm from the UK where apparently it's more common. Didn't even occur to me that it would be a regional thing.

 

[Deleted member 8860]

Hetero married people use the term to be more inclusive (both of unmarried people and queer people).

 

[Terminus]

Who thinks like this

 

[WedgeX]

My wife uses it regularly, solidarity from pre-Obergefelle days specifically in her mind.

 

[Deleted member 225]

I think it's annoying because it implies they're queer, but they're not - they just want to be special lol

Click to shrink...

lmao what

people have been calling their loved ones "partners" for a long time, it's just more common with gay people, probably because they get dirty looks when using "girlfriend", "boyfriend", "husband", "wife", etc.

I don't know one gay person who would find it weird or annoying.