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Is it transphobic to not be sexually attracted to transgender people?

  • Thread starter Deleted member 16908
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Deleted member 16908

Oct 27, 2017
9,377
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

Personally I think a person's character is the most important thing when it comes to attraction, so for me it makes no difference, but I'm wondering what other people think.
 
Weiss

Weiss

User requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
64,265
Yes.

More importantly, let's stop harassing trans people with this question. I asked it. I was an asshole for it. Learn from my mistake.
 

Deleted member 15737

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,432
I think if you internally make a blanket statement like that you might want to do some introspection on why that is.

After you do that, share the 'why' you came up with and it'll be more clear.
 
gdt

gdt

Member
Oct 26, 2017
9,500
Dude, no it's not. Even asking the question makes you sound like an alt right loon
 
sphagnum

sphagnum

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
16,058
Can't control attraction, but you may want to ask yourself if you know whether it's because of the way they look or whether it's because you know they're trans.
 
Lord Brady

Lord Brady

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
8,392
Not being attracted to someone isn't a choice. Unilaterally not wanting to have sex with a specific group of people is a choice. Personally I don't think we need another thread in which people tell another group of people they don't find them attractive.
 
Miles X

Miles X

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
710
No?! People need to stop being guilted into what they find attractive and what they don't. It's all learnt but not exactly a concious choice. As long as you remain open minded to falling in love with absolutely anyone, it's okay to say to yourself 'you know what? They just don't do it for me'.
 
AnansiThePersona

AnansiThePersona

Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged
Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,682
Hmmmmm....I wouldn't mind dating/sleeping with a transgender woman if I already found them attractive and dope enough to date/sleep with. Couldn't see the relationship lasting due to me wanting to have children.
 
CannonballB

CannonballB

Member
Oct 27, 2017
364
Pahonix
I can already tell this thread is going to go swimmingly.

Also, to directly answer the question - I don't know.

I'm a gay man - I've found MANY a transman attractive, but I couldn't see myself going any further because I'm also a bottom who doesn't like toys. I'd still give it a shot though.
 
Platy

Platy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
27,704
Brazil
To EVERY SINGLE ONE ? yes

It is ok to not be attracted to women with broad shoulds, tall women, women with wider jaws, women with breast implants, women that has a joe dirty on dvd.

But saying that you are not sexually attracted to trans people means you are putting EVERY single fucking trans people on the same bag and if you find a small shoulder short round face non implant good movie taste women and you don't feel attracted because you discover she has a fucking microscopic difference than yes, you are VERY transphobic
 
sphagnum

sphagnum

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
16,058
Miles X said:
No?! People need to stop being guilted into what they find attractive and what they don't. It's all learnt but not exactly a concious choice. As long as you remain open minded to falling in love with absolutely anyone, it's okay to say to yourself 'you know what? They just don't do it for me'.
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How can you fall in love with someone you're not attracted to?
 
SegFault

SegFault

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Oct 25, 2017
1,939
SugarNoodles

SugarNoodles

Member
Nov 3, 2017
8,625
Portland, OR
It's not really as simple as "attraction". I can, for example, be attracted to someone who identifies and presents as a man, but my sexual identify and attraction is also based in part on genitalia, which can obviously vary a lot among people, both trans and cis.

Where this issue becomes about transphobia is something trans people probably have more insight on than cis folks.
 
Deleted member 4359

Deleted member 4359

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,259
User Banned (5 days): transphobic comments
It's not.

I've also been confused as to why trap has huge negative pretenses in a scenario where you're trying to fuck - not a nice term but being put in that position myself, yeah, I'd be kinda upset.

From a identity standpoint I understand, sure. I'm friends with transgender people. I'm just not into them. Could I get along in a sexual context? Maybe, but it wouldn't be what I'm looking for exactly.
 

Deleted member 25117

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
909
If you're not attracted to them because of the bits they have, no. If you're not attracted to them because they're trans then you might want to ask yourself why.
 
RationalGinger

RationalGinger

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,004
No. You don't control who you are attracted to. If we could, well I wouldn't have made so many mistakes in my relationship choices.
 

Deleted member 14377

User requested account closure
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Oct 27, 2017
13,520
What about this scenario?

If you think they're attractive, you want to be with them, you date, get along famously etc; but the moment you find out they're transgender those feelings become fleeting or become polar opposite.
 
Budi

Budi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,883
Finland
To me it's weird if people can claim "I'm not attracted towards anyone in this big group of people, even if I haven't seen and met them". Doesn't have to be about transgender people either, you can change it to be about race etc. But I don't think I would be the right person to judge something to be transphobic, unless it's really blatant and I couldn't say that this is. Of course it could be in occasions, but not neccessarily always.
Beefy said:
You do realise transgender people can be damn stunning?
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This is true.
 
excelsiorlef

excelsiorlef

Bad Praxis
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Oct 25, 2017
73,327
chronic_archaic said:
It's not.

I've also been confused as to why trap has huge negative pretenses in a scenario where you're trying to fuck - not a nice term but being put in that position myself, yeah, I'd be kinda upset.

From a identity standpoint I understand, sure. I'm friends with transgender people. I'm just not into them. Could I get along in a sexual context? Maybe, but it wouldn't be what I'm looking for exactly.
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Because trans people are trapping others.

Jesus.
 
kadotsu

kadotsu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,505
The only scenario I can think of that fits the criteria of transphobia is if you are attracted to someone in a casual social setting and you stay attracted until you get told that someone is trans. I honestly don't know how I would react in that scenario.
 
SugarNoodles

SugarNoodles

Member
Nov 3, 2017
8,625
Portland, OR
Side note: I wonder if this thread will end similarly to the thread about whether it's okay to refuse to date bisexual people, which was a pretty flagrant display of the extents straight/cis people will go to in order to justify their bigotry.
 
BuBu Jenkins

BuBu Jenkins

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,065
I'm a straight cis male and prefer a cis female but i'd be lying if i said i didn't find ANY transgender female attractive but overall i wouldn't date pre-op transgender female due to preferring female sexual organs...nothing to do with anything else.
 
RedMercury

RedMercury

Blue Venus
Member
Dec 24, 2017
17,665
Uh yes, not being attracted to someone for being born in a body that doesn't represent them, something entirely out of their control is transphobic and just an asshole thing to boot. Please don't listen to people who would tell you it isn't.
 

rusty chrome

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
8,640
lol uh no.

Weird that you'd even have to ask that. You're attracted to what you're attracted to. I'm hardly ever attracted to blonde girls despite being cool with them. It will be ok.
 
Platy

Platy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
27,704
Brazil
chronic_archaic said:
I've also been confused as to why trap has huge negative pretenses in a scenario where you're trying to fuck - not a nice term but being put in that position myself, yeah, I'd be kinda upset.
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Because it implys our entire life is dedicated to an elaborated plan to make straight guys date men. Which imply trans people are not the gender they identify, which is "i heard you like transphobic stuff so we put a transphobic idea into a transphobic idea"
 
Weiss

Weiss

User requested ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
64,265
SugarNoodles said:
Side note: I wonder if this thread will end similarly to the thread about whether it's okay to refuse to date bisexual people, which was a pretty flagrant display of the extents straight/cis people will go to in order to justify their bigotry.
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I am so fucking glad I missed out on that thread.
 
Budi

Budi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,883
Finland
RedMercury said:
Uh yes, not being attracted to someone for being born in a body that doesn't represent them, something entirely out of their control is transphobic and just an asshole thing to boot. Please don't listen to people who would tell you it isn't.
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Can people control who they are attracted to either? There's been times I've been attracted to my friends girlfriends, I'd rather not but what can I do?
 
Soap

Soap

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,201
I would think that most people acknowledge that societal attitudes define what we should and should not like, but that doesn't necessarily prohibit people from naturally finding one person attractive over another. There isn't much thought that goes into this for me if we are talking about physical attributes. If I find a person attractive, then they are attractive to me regardless of other considerations.

Is what the op asking transphobic? I don't know. Maybe? I mean if I say I don't find men or women attractive, I don't think that is discriminatory... So no?
 
LionPride

LionPride

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
12,804
chronic_archaic said:
It's not.

I've also been confused as to why trap has huge negative pretenses in a scenario where you're trying to fuck - not a nice term but being put in that position myself, yeah, I'd be kinda upset.

From a identity standpoint I understand, sure. I'm friends with transgender people. I'm just not into them. Could I get along in a sexual context? Maybe, but it wouldn't be what I'm looking for exactly.
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Would you be upset to the point of assault? Cause that's what happens to a lot of transgender people.
 
TinfoilHatsROn

TinfoilHatsROn

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,119
Oh no. This topic again. Sigh.
SugarNoodles said:
Side note: I wonder if this thread will end similarly to the thread about whether it's okay to refuse to date bisexual people, which was a pretty flagrant display of the extents straight/cis people will go to in order to justify their bigotry.
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Someone's already called it a trap so this thread might not go that far.
 
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